Halloween Remembrance
by SASundance
Summary: A work place shooting on Halloween, prompts Tony to recall why he hates the holidays but especially Halloween, so much. Meanwhile, his closely guarded secret is about to be revealed to people that care about him.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: A work place shooting on Halloween, prompts Tony to recall why he hates the holidays so much but especially Halloween. Meanwhile, his closely guarded secret is about to be revealed to people that care about him.

Pairings: Tony and Ducky with a dash of Gibbs thrown in for good measure

Rating: T Warning this deals with child abuse

Disclaimer: I don't own them and don't profit from playing with them

A/N: This story was inspired by a very strange comment when Tony was recounting his last childhood Halloween experience to McGee in Witch Hunt in season 4. He explained that he had purloined one of his father's $3000 designer ski suits to make a space man costume. The remark that tweaked my antennae was that after his father found out "... I don't think that I sat down until Christmas... Good times Probie... Good times." Said in jest, the most commonly used phrase is _couldn't sit down for a week_. Given that he was jumpy and nervous during the episode and expressing hatred for the holiday, it made me wonder if the _'couldn't sit down until Christmas'_ comment might have been a Freudian slip. Hence this story.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 1

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo hated most holidays, fervently but Halloween was probably the very worst of all. As a former cop, he knew that it was a time when people seemed to become especially crazy and it had always been a particularly busy time for police departments across the country. Once he joined the police force, he had learnt that holidays in general, were days that were always fraught with pain and trouble for not just police departments, but all emergency service personnel. Holidays like Halloween, usually meant all hands on deck and time off was a rarity.

Family members were frequently injured, often needing medical aid or sometimes they required rescuing from their own folly. Car crashes for example, increased over the holiday periods, as bickering family members who usually avoided each other for most of the year, were forced together into small spaces such as cars. They were literally accidents waiting to happen. Incidence of domestic disputes and assaults always skyrocketed. As far as DiNozzo was concerned, holidays put the dis into dysfunctional families.

As a child, holidays always meant family time, that was until his mother died. Then his father seemed to vacillate between being able to barely acknowledge his existence, to wanting to make his life an unendurable hell. The last Halloween before being sent off to boarding school, had been the worst of all and even many years later, he still loathed this particular holiday with a passion that he found difficult to disguise. Halloween always seemed to be the harbinger of a return of his many childhood nightmares, which didn't help.

This year to add insult to injury, Tony found himself being transported to hospital by ambulance, with a gunshot wound that would mean that he spent what was left of Halloween, recovering from surgery in a hospital bed. Hopefully, the bullet currently lodged in his thigh hadn't done too much damage and he would be able to return to field duties quickly. He did wished however, that he could simply lock himself away from the world on Halloween and pretend that it never happened.

His team mates and colleagues, all knew of his hatred of this particular holiday but none of them had any idea how truly, deeply it affected him. Sure he had told them the infamous story about the robot costume and his father's designer ski suit. Yet no one had ever managed to break through the self-deprecation and bravado, that always accompanied his telling of the tale or the fact that he was economic with the full details. Everyone assumed that it had been a harmless prank by an exuberant little boy; that he had received a richly deserved spanking and had exaggerated about the severity of the correction. Perceptions, that he had been very careful, not to dispel.

The truth though, had been much darker and as the ambulance pulled into the bay of the ER, he couldn't help but remember that time so long ago when he was little and helpless. All alone in another ambulance, with strangers who exhibited more concern and compassion for his pain and fear, than his father had ever done. Senior in a fit of rage, had chased Tony around the first floor of their ostentatious mansion which had never felt like a home to the young boy, especially after his mother died. His father easily cornered him at the top of the Connemara marble staircase. Tony knew that crying always made his father extremely mad... er madder, especially when he had been drinking. Knowing it though couldn't change how scared he was, when he realised that his father didn't appreciate him using last season's ski wear to try and fit in, for once in his life. He had just wanted to be like all the other kids at school who all had doting parents to make costumes for them.

He had no one he could call upon, to make sure he had a Halloween costume. He knew way better than to ask his father; Tony knew he was far too busy to be bothered even if Senior didn't viewed trick or treating, as a waste of time and most definitely beneath the dignity of a DiNozzo. Even when his father acted like he despised him, to the rest of the world he always treated him like Little Lord Fauntleroy and discouraged his son from rubbing shoulders with the masses. So Tony had done what he had learnt how to do best; he took care of it himself.

He thought that because his father was obsessed with the latest fashions and designer labels, that he wouldn't care if Tony recycled something that he would probably never wear again. When he saw how mad his father was, he realised he had made a huge mistake and that things were going to get ugly. Tony knew he should just stand there and take his lumps, that it would be the smart thing to do. Yet he couldn't help crying, knowing what was to come and he knew that crying would make his father even angrier, if that was possible.

While his brain was telling him not to run, his body had other ideas and he found himself bolting as fast as he could, even knowing that his father would catch him in the end. Senior always did, even if he had to enlist the aid of the hired help to hunt him down and drag him back for correction. As he stood trapped and frozen at the top of the stairs, it was inevitable that his father, already fuelled by a potent mix of alcohol and a heady sense of power and entitlement, would extract a heavy toll on his unfortunate offspring. No doubt Senior's rage was nourished exponentially as he fed off his son's fear and the tears that had escalating into heaving silent sobs. His father's rage became incandescent.

Anthony DiNozzo Senior, could not abide tears in his offspring under any circumstances, not even when Tony's mother had died a some months earlier. To him, it was one of the outward manifestations of the much despised weakness that he saw, whenever he looked at his son. He was determined to ruthless crush any signs of weakness, in his only child. Senior stalked towards Tony and viciously backhanded him across the mouth with enough force, to send his small son flying through the air and down the marbled stairs. He landed at the bottom of the ostentatiously gaudy foyer, in a broken, agonising heap before the darkness mercifully claimed him. When Tony finally woke up in hospital following surgery, he was enclosed in a full body cast, doped to the eyeballs with pain medication and surrounded by strangers, all wanting answers to questions that he could never, ever give them

Even as a nine year old, he was well versed in the rules of the game and knew that he could never, reveal the truth about how he was hurt. As he got older, he learnt that taking up team sports that involved body contact, always provided him with a ready and believable alibi for explaining his frequent injuries. At nine years old though, he was still learning how to hide himself from those individuals, who sought to pry into his father's business. He told the suspicious doctors, nurses and the social worker who interrogated him, that he had been running around on the first floor at home and accidentally fallen down the stairs.

While the staff at the hospital, were sceptical that his injuries could be explained by a simply fall down the stairs, they were also intimidated by the fact that the small boy had been accompanied to hospital, not by a parent or guardian but his father's lawyer. Whether it was his inability or refusal to verbally accuse his father, or the threats and intimidation that were part and parcel of his father's power and influence, Tony was uncertain. Whatever the reason, it prevented anyone launching a police investigation into his injuries. Just like every other time before and after, the story of his injury was universally accepted, if not actually believed and it remained that way. Until that was,Tony started working at NCIS and came under the eagle eye of one caringly, suspicious and eccentric medical examiner.

Ducky had quickly discovered his extreme aversion to being taken to hospital. He then took it upon himself to seek out all of Tony's medical records, dating back to his childhood. The next time Tony had been hospitalised, Ducky had also organised to have a full set of X-rays taken and Tony knew that Ducky suspected something. He realised that many of his childhood injuries could be explained away by normal childhood mishaps, like falling out of trees and falling off bikes or skateboards. He was after all an athletic guy, so those excuses were highly believable but the Halloween injuries would not be so easily explained away.

Ducky was after all, a forensic specialist, used to determining how injuries occurred and he would know that a fractured pelvis, femur and a number of broken vertebrae would not be caused by a child simply falling downstairs. So, hoping that Ducky would never do the math and realise that the dates didn't add up, Tony told him that the injuries were caused by his mother crashing the car whilst driving drunk, with her son unrestrained in the car.

He really had been involved in a car accident, with his mother driving while drunk and he been injured, although it had happened the year before, when he was almost eight years old. He had already told Ducky that his mother had died from an accidental overdose of prescription painkillers, that she has taken while drinking. Ducky was therefore, not especially shocked when he told him that his mother had driven under the influence of alcohol. He usually didn't mention his mother's issues with alcohol or drugs but he had no choice, when Ducky insisted that he take some strong pain medication.

It was following a knife wound he incurred, not long after joining Gibbs' team at NCIS. Knowing that he needed a good reason why he refused to take pain meds, he had shared some of his mother's medical history. Although, it was partially true, he also refused to take painkillers because they also loosened his tongue and his inhibitions, in the same way that alcohol did. Being a highly secretive individual, he had been taught from birth that control was to be valued above all other qualities. It was something he had constantly aspired to be, always in control because he had been pathetically, desperate to gain his father's approval.

After many years, being brainwashed as a child in the mantra that he mustn't ever tell anyone that he was being hurt, even as an adult involved in law enforcement, those lessons were still so deeply ingrained. Add to that, his sheer terror that anyone should discover that he was a victim, that he had allowed himself to be hurt, that he had been weak; well, it affected every facet of his existence. He couldn't bear the thought that he might be subjected to scorn by his colleagues for not defending himself or even worse, that others would pity him for being the weakling that he saw when he looked in the mirror, yet managed to somehow hide from others. How could he convince people that he could protect them, when he couldn't save himself? So Tony maintained the secrets, that had been an integral part of his childhood. It had become as automatic to him, as breathing.

His nine year old self, had finally been released from the hospital after spending a lonely but peaceful couple of weeks being cared for by kindly strangers. He returned home, if one could call their residence that, to find his father off on an extended business trip somewhere. Meanwhile, he was left at home, with the household staff to care for him and a private tutor engaged by Senior, to oversee his studies while he continued to recuperate before being sent away to a fancy boarding school. Although Tony wasn't able to sit down due to the body cast, and could only stand or lie prone on a bed or sofa, he suspected that the reason he never returned to his old school, was much more pragmatic.

Tony thought that it would have caused, far too many serious and highly inconvenient questions to be asked by the staff, at his former school. The teachers were already suspicious about his constant parade of broken bones, cuts and bruises, which were way beyond what would be expected in a normal childhood. By withdrawing him from school until he was free of the body cast and then sending him off to boarding school, it was the easiest way for his father to avoid answering inconvenient questions, about the nature of his son's injuries and how he had come by them.

Next chapter, Tony slips up and someone from his past poses a threat to his privacy. It should be up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Halloween Remembrance**

A/N Thank you to all those people who alerted or left reviews or in one case sent me a lovely PM because they couldn't leave a review. Thanks to Em for revisions. This is not been beta read and so I apologise in advance for any mistakes. If anyone is interested in beta reading this story please send me a PM :)

Chapter 2

Dr Donald Mallard and Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs sat in companionable silence. The two old friends were watching over the younger agent, as he slept off the effects of the general anaesthetic. His surgery had been routine and successful in removing the bullet and repairing the subsequent damage. Keeping vigil over Tony in hospital was hardly a rare occurrence for either man. Sadly, the need for them to have to watch over their rather accident prone agent, happened far too frequently for either man's liking.

With no real family in his life, they always made it their business to be with Tony when he woke up. Both men understood how important it was, that he had a friendly face or two to reassure him that he was safe and more importantly, that he was needed. They also knew that he was terribly uncomfortable being in hospital, especially if he was unable to exercise his normal iron-control over his emotions and tongue.

Whenever he was in a vulnerable state and unable to protect himself by using his usual weapon of donning personas which he wore like masks; his strong flight response was triggered. This usually meant that the man would try to escape from his hospital bed, if it was physically possible. Although, Ducky was convinced that Anthony would give it a damn good shot, even if it were physically impossible and maybe still succeed! While this single minded survival trait annoyed Gibbs beyond distraction, whenever Tony managed to defy the laws of the physically possible and abscond, Gibbs couldn't help feeling a sneaking sense of pride in his stubborn friend. Although it never prevented Jethro relentlessly, eviscerating him for being so reckless and stupid, Ducky thought disapprovingly.

When it came to keeping secrets about his past, DiNozzo was obsessive beyond belief. If Ducky didn't know any better, he could almost believe that Anthony was a participant in a Witness Protection program. Although that was a ludicrous notion because Tony had brought down an entire Mafioso family, while he was part of the constabulary back in Philadelphia, which could hardly be seen as keeping a low profile. And while both men were at times, granted limited access to the man behind the mask, he still managed to keep much about himself hidden, even from them. His need for comfort, especially at times such as this, was at odds with his need to maintain his privacy.

Gibbs in particular, chaffed about the need for Tony to be so guarded with him, even after all these years but he understood that it was a protective mechanism of long standing; much as his own elective mutism protected him from letting people get too close. But just because he understood, it didn't mean that he had to like there being secrets between them, when it come to his Senior Field Agent or that he had to accept it. Tony was always accused of being insufferably nosy but Gibbs left him for dead, when it came to the obsessive need to discover every last detail, if someone tried to conceal things from him. Keeping secrets from Gibbs was like a red rag to a bull, Ducky chuckled softly to himself. Unlike Tony though, who wanted to know every single little detail about the lives of the people he cared about, Gibbs discouraged his people, sharing all the mundane details of their lives with him.

Ducky was more pragmatic and refused to take personally, the fact that Tony needed to keep them at arm's length; although he thoroughly deplored the reasons why Tony felt he needed to hide from the world. He was also was privy to additional details that Tony had shared overtly and covertly with him, sometimes confiding in him when he was distressed but also because he was Tony's personal physician. That meant he was well placed to make some well educated guesses about what his friend was hiding. Ducky knew that Jethro continued to demand to be told his underling's closely guarded secrets, which only made Tony hide his personal demons even more aggressively, if that was even possible. Ducky tried to explain to his old friend that by prying, Tony would only become even more secretive but as usual, Jethro when focused on a goal, wasn't receptive to his advice.

Meanwhile, as his friends' watched him sleep, their charge began to grow progressively more restless as the effects of the anaesthesia was metabolised by his kidneys and liver. It was clear too, that he was dreaming and that those dreams were not pleasant ones. Neither man was that surprised, as they knew from past experience that he suffered from crippling nightmares, from time to time. Gibbs had often witnessed them before, when they pulled all-nighters when working a case and the team would catnap at their desks, rather than go home.

Tony always seemed to be ashamed when they occurred in front of his team and refused to discuss any details, although Gibbs always figured that his six years of being a cop; in addition to the cases he has worked at NCIS, were responsible for his haunted sleep. Ducky had his own theories about the nightmares but he never contradicted his friend, because it would mean betraying Tony's confidence, not to mention divulging details of his private medical records. Not the cliff notes version that Jethro had access to, in his supervisory capacity.

As they watched the normally hyperactive agent begin to shift and squirm, his face betrayed his terror and they both wondered if it was possible to rouse him out of his drugged state, to reassure him that he was safe. At that moment, a nurse arrived beside his bed to monitor his level of consciousness and measure his vital signs. She stared, for a moment at Tony's name plate above the hospital bed and flinched. She smiled weakly at the two men sitting in the uncomfortable visitor's chairs and wondered if they were related to her patient. Neither of them looked particularly Italian but then again, neither did the extremely good looking, younger man in the bed.

He was tossing and turning, muttering and obviously having some sort of bad dream, most likely courtesy of the various drugs in his system. She checked his chart to see when he was scheduled to have further analgesia and noted that he wasn't due for a hour or so, yet. As she recorded the new set of vitals and went to hang the chart back on the end of the bed, she heard Tony begin to plead in a high child-like voice, quite unlike his own.

"Please Father... Sir... I'm s-s-sorry, I took your suit. I won't c-c- cry anymore. No... Not the stairs... don't hu-u-rt me. I'll be good. I promise. Nooo ...it was all my fault, clumsy... I fell down the stairs... I was... running 'n I tripped 'n fell... I'm not allowed to run in the house... I'm baaad...I swear it was an accident. Noooooo... it hurts... where are you Father? ... Please I need you... Mama why did you leave? Please..."

Tony began to cry, silent tears tracking down his unnaturally pallid face and he became increasingly distressed while the nurse and the two men stood, transfixed by the terrible things that Tony was screaming. Finally, all three sprang as one and enveloped him with their touch; striving to reassure him that he was safe. All trying to comfort him, in their own fashion and prevent him from tearing open his stitches; no one wanted to see him physically restrained so that he couldn't hurt himself.

His nurse quickly and expertly, injected a sedative drug into Tony's IV port and he soon calmed down physically but whether his nightmares were silenced as well, remained uncertain. Ducky watched the nurse, as she continued to stare at her patient and her face lost most of its colour. She glanced nervously at the two men that were hovering over the bed, watching their charge with eagle eyes. She seemed to be struggling with herself, before she finally appeared to reach a decision.

"Did he fall down the stairs when he was shot?" The matronly nurse enquired, thinking about what they had just heard.

Gibbs silently shook his head, naked shock still evident in his piercing, cerulean, blue eyes.

She looked both men squarely in the eyes, before asking. "Are you gentlemen, family of Mr DiNozzo?"

Ducky and Gibbs exchanged sheepish smiles before Ducky who, as the more garrulous of the pair, answered. "Not by blood my dear, but in all the most important ways. Anthony means a great deal to both of us."

She processed this and seemed relieved by their answer. The last thing she needed, was to say the wrong thing if either of them should happen to be his father or related to him. She decided to risk asking another question.

"Do either of you know where Mr DiNozzo grew up?"

Gibbs jumped in this time and growled at her. "It's Special Agent DiNozzo, although he prefers to be called Tony and he grew up in New York. Why the hell, do you want to know so much about him, anyway?"

The nurse stepped back, put off by the aggression evident in Gibbs' tone and body language, before hastily deflecting. "Just that I thought I recognised his name, that's all. Excuse me but I have to see to my other patients. Call, if you need anything."

She left the room and Ducky scowled at his friend. "Why did you snap at her like that, Jethro? You frightened her off and I think she wanted to talk. When she comes back the next time, you need to hold your tongue, as well as your temper for a change and let me do the talking. Let's face it; it is hardly your strong suit, when all said and done. If you can't contain yourself, then leave; go and get a cup of that rather dreadful concoction that you loosely call coffee." He glared at Gibbs, to make sure that he realised how serious Ducky was. "Are we clear, Agent Gibbs? You are not to terrorise the medical staff."

Ducky had a bad feeling, not just about what Tony had been yelling out but also at the very strange reaction that it had had, on his nurse. Her face had lost every last bit of its colour, after the nurse saw Tony's name and heard him cry out. He'd truly seen less pasty individuals on his autopsy table and he wasn't about to let Jethro scare her away if she wanted to talk.

XXXXXXX

Nurse Marion Watson bustled around the room, settling in her newest patient who had been admitted, following a vehicle accident. She stayed busy, taking her temperature, measuring blood pressure and placing the oximeter which measured blood oxygen saturation, on the sedated woman's finger, before fluffing up her pillows.

All the while, she was thinking about the federal agent, lying in the room down the hall and also about a small vulnerable little boy some twenty five years ago, who had come into another ER in New York. He had been all alone, except for his father's lawyer who was legally authorised to make medical decisions pertaining to the boy's care. Marion remembered a frightened child with wide green eyes and an infectious but tentative smile. He had been placed in a body cast, following surgery and stayed in the hospital for almost two weeks.

He was special child, who had stolen the heart of every doctor, nurse, orderly, aide and cleaner that clapped eyes on him. A child, frightened and alone, yet who was so grateful for the smallest acts of kindness by strangers; who took none of them for granted and was unfailingly kind and courteous. A little nine year old boy that cried silently into his pillow for his mother when he was alone and thought no one would know. Who, when he was finally told that he was going home, had seemed less than excited at the news.

Was it possible, that the child that had captured her heart and made her feel such overwhelming guilt, every single day of her professional life ever since, could be the same person who was once again her patient, lying sedated in the room down the hall? It didn't seem likely, yet the name was the same and his friend said he had grown up in New York. Marion had heard of coincidences but this was a pretty big one. It didn't seem likely though, that a boy born into such a wealthy and powerful family, would end up in law enforcement.

Thinking of the small boy all those years ago, that had been brought to the hospital where she worked; Marion was overwhelmed with guilt, a burden that never went away. She despised her weakness, in not speaking up for little Tony when he had been her patient, so long ago. It had been clear to everyone on the ward, that he needed rescuing from his abusive parent and yet they had all turned their backs on him. Although, if the federal agent and the small boy were one and the same person, then someone must surely have rescued him, from the horrific situation he had been in.

That might explain why he ended up, having to work for a living. Marion decided that should she get an opportunity to speak to the older man with the kindly, blue eyes and the gentle English accent on his own, without the angry guy, perhaps he could tell her more about his friend's childhood. The man with the silver hair and crackling blue eyes was scary though and seemed to be either very protective of the patient or angry with him; she wasn't sure which but she decided to avoid him as much as possible.

The next time Marion entered Tony DiNozzo's room to check on him and to give him his pain medication; she was pleased to see that the scary guy had his hand resting on her patients arm. Hopefully it was helping to remind him that he was safe, while the older man who was apparently called Ducky was talking to Tony, telling him about a holiday in Tuscany during his student days. She had learnt that the older man was actually a doctor who was, according to the patient's file, a medical examiner and for some strange reason, Special Agent DiNozzo's personal physician. If she could get him alone for a few minutes, he might be able to give her the some answers that had been eluding her for the last twenty five years. The empathy that he showed to his young patient, might also grant her some understanding.

She knew that no one who was responsible for that young, broken boy deserved any form of absolution but if he did turn out to be the same person; if destiny had chosen to cast him across her path again more than two decades later, she could at least apologise for not protecting him. Perhaps it might balance up the scales just a little. At any rate Tony deserved to hear why people that should have been protecting him, had let him down so badly.

Marion was sitting at the nurse's station later that night and she watched Dr Mallard quietly exit from Special Agent DiNozzo's room, as he rubbed a hand across his tired, drawn face, before smiling kindly at Marion.

"I'm off to find a pot of tea and some of that disgusting swill that my friend calls coffee, my dear," he informed her courteously. "Can I get you a hot beverage or perhaps something cold to drink, Marion?" he enquired in his old worldly and charming manner.

"Actually Doctor, I am due a tea break, so if you don't mind, I'll tag along with you to the cafeteria? That is, if you feel like some company?" she asked nervously.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Ducky nodded imperceptibly to himself at her request. It confirmed his suspicion that Marion had something important that she needed to discuss with him, regarding his favourite young field agent. She was obviously too nervous to speak in front of Jethro, especially after he had bitten her head off, earlier and so he smiled charmingly, and patted her hand. "That would be lovely my dear, I'd like that," he told her earnestly and waited while she informed her second in charge, that she was on a break.

Then Ducky, who in his prime was just as much the lady killer as Tony and Gibbs, gently tucked Marion's arm into the crook of his own and escorted her down towards the cafeteria. His intuition told him that she wanted to tell him something important and that he needed to listen. As they waited for the elevator to arrive, he could hear the familiar clomp-clomping of his favourite Goth as she climbed the stairs; too impatient to check on Tony, to bother waiting for the elevator. Ducky smiled as she threw herself at him, demanding to know how Tony was. After assuring her that he was recovering well, he encouraged her to go in and visit her friend. He thought that her appearance may prove to be fortuitous and promised to get her a Caff-Pow if they sold them in the cafeteria.

Marion and Ducky sat together in the almost deserted cafeteria, along with a small number of staff members, dressed mostly in scrubs as they sat taking their breaks. A few wan-looking family members were also dotted around the room, taking time out from holding vigil over loved ones; they generally sat, staring at frequently untouched cups of coffee, their minds elsewhere. An occasional ambulatory patient, having difficulty in sleeping were also to be found, sipping drinks or demolishing sweet snacks and Ducky watched Marion as she warmed her hands around her mug of coffee. Ducky busied himself pouring tea into his cup and added a small dash of milk, before he sipped his tea and watched her unobtrusively, as she sought a way to broach the topic that was bothering her.

"Dr Mallard," she began tentatively. What do you know about Special Agent... um Tony's background?"

Keeping his voice and eye contact very non-threatening, he asked. "Why do you want to know Marion? I think my young friend might have frightened you earlier on, during his nightmare?"

Marion looked like she was considering bolting. She looked scared and curiously enough, guilty too and Ducky felt nervous about what he might hear. She finally drew in a deep breath and steeled herself to speak.

"I think I ... I might have met your friend many years ago on Halloween. Twenty five years ago I was working in St Francis's ER in New York, when a small boy was admitted with horrific injuries. He had a fractured pelvis and femur plus several cracked vertebrae and was placed in a full body cast after they reduced the fractures," she whispered sadly.

"Ah yes, Anthony mentioned about being in a car crash with his mother, I believe," he said guardedly, glancing at the nurse to see her reaction.

Ducky saw confusion on Marion's features, before she shook her head. "No Doctor, he told the doctors he was running around on the first floor and he fell down the stairs. His mother had died the year before, I believe," she said emphatically.

Ducky cursed the fact he had missed that detail. He hadn't questioned that account of Tony's injuries because he had confirmed that Anthony's mother did indeed have a history of driving under the influence. There had been a charge laid which was later dropped, no doubt due to influence being brought to bear, by Anthony's father. Add to that, her death due to so called accidental overdose and it seemed a plausible enough explanation, for such serious injuries in a child.

Certainly much more plausible than falling down the stairs as any Medical Examiner worth their salt would tell you. This was no doubt why Anthony had decided to lie to him about the car crash. Ducky suddenly felt an overwhelming desire for Jethro to be present and hear what Marion had to say. He had no doubt that the child that Marion treated, was indeed their Very Special Agent. Coincidence was one thing but the confluence of factors plus the similarities in injuries seemed almost like fate had brought Marion and Anthony back together again. While many doctors had little time for the concept of fate or destiny, Ducky had encountered some very odd things in his lifetime, many of which could not be easily explained away by science.

"What of Anthony's father? What did he have say about how the injuries occurred, Marion?" Ducky asked trying to keep his tone and words neutral so that he didn't frighten her off.

Marion blanched and said, "He didn't Doctor... The child was accompanied to the hospital by his father's attorney when he was admitted. He was authorised to make all medical decisions, which he did. After that, apart from the attorney phoning in daily to get medical reports, Tony didn't receive any visitors... well except for the housekeeper when she came to collect him."

She searched the elderly medical examiners features, noting the devastation she saw mirroring her own. She asked him nervously, "do you think that it is possible that my little Tony it is the same person as your Special Agent DiNozzo, Doctor Mallard?"

Next chapter: Ducky and Gibbs learn the truth about the Halooween comment

NB Saint Francis Hospital is a figment of my imagination as I didn't want to malign any existing institutions or individuals.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own them and don't make any money from them.

A/N Thanks to all of you who reviewed and alerted. lot56 thanks for leaving your review :) This story is unbeta'd so apologies for errors. St Francis's Hospital is a figment of my imagination. This chapter is more exposition and some Ducky analysis. The next chapter will reveal how Tony was shot.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 3

Ducky eyed the motherly nurse, sorrowfully. "Much as I wish that it was not our young agent, I very much fear that they are indeed, one and the same person," he answered gently, knowing that she had still more to say.

"Marion my dear, I know that Special Agent Gibbs... ah Jethro was very rude to you before and perhaps scared you? But he cares deeply for young Anthony and tends to be a bit overprotective, I'm fear. The young lady you met earlier, Abigail Scuito always teases Jethro and calls him a Papa Bear when he gets like this. It's usually when someone messes with one of his team but never more so than when Anthony is hurt." He explained, hoping to quell some of the fear and nervousness, that Gibbs seemed to engender in the nurse because Ducky thought, it was time to bring Jethro and Marion together.

"Anyway, I think that it is really important that he hears this too, with your permission of course. May I call him down here, please?"

The nurse nodded nervously, deciding that it would be easier to only have to go through the story once. She was so ashamed, that she didn't know if she could bear repeating herself. She just hoped Dr Mallard would keep Gibbs from terrorising her.

She watched as Ducky send a text message to Gibbs' phone, telling him to get down there ASAP. Ducky knew that Jethro would be prepared to let Abby watch over his partner and wasn't surprised to see Gibbs hot footing it down to the cafeteria, well before his cup of tea had a chance to cool. Gibbs stopped just long enough to order a double espresso and made his way to their table, before he sat down with a questioning look at his friend.

Ducky quickly recapped what Marion had told him about Tony's trip to the New York ER. He added that Anthony had told him about his injuries but had blamed them on being in a car crash with his mother. Ducky pulled out the medical file that he had brought with him to the hospital and checked to see his mother's date of death. The DOD confirmed that she could not have been involved in a vehicle accident.

Gibbs swiped his hand across his weary eyes before asking a question. "I don't get it Duck. Why would DiNozzo lie to you about how he got injured as a kid?"

Ducky engaged in a jaded look with the nurse before answering sadly. "Because Jethro, Tony realised as an ME, I would never accept that he was so seriously injured, running and accidentally tripping down the stairs. Then I would have started asking him questions, questions that he obviously didn't want to answer."

Ducky paused for a moment, recalling Anthony's amusing anecdote about his ill fated Halloween costume and his father's extreme displeasure. His throw away comment that he wasn't able to sit down until Christmas, had always provoked much mirth in his colleagues, when he first shared the story with Timothy two or three years ago. McGee had been delighted to have an 'embarrassing Tony' story to share with the others and the tale had quickly made the rounds.

Timothy at the time had been focused on the details of Tony's wealthy upbringing and the 'poor little rich kid' narrative but something about the anecdote, had sat badly with Ducky when he heard it. Unfortunately, he had never gotten around to analysing the story, as he should have. Tony was always so adamant that his father had always been too drunk to lay a hand on him and yet his account seemed to contradict that claim.

Ducky realised with growing horror that his favourite young agent hadn't been joking or exaggerating. He really had been unable to sit down because he was in a cast for months and his father had put him there and not by a spanking, as he had obliquely implied to McGee, after that fateful Halloween. His face paled and he gratefully accepted Gibbs' Marine flask that Jethro had thrust into his friend's shaking hands, before he choked down the bourbon rot gut that Jethro imbibed. Ducky usually preferred a smooth single malt whisky but under the circumstances, beggars couldn't be choosers, he concluded shakily. He'd take what he could get, as he swallowed a healthy portion of the liquor and nodded his thanks to his friend.

Marion and Jethro both regarded him with alarm. Ducky carried his age extremely well but suddenly, the good doctor looked ancient and well... shattered. Ducky took a deep breath before answering the question that Gibbs was too afraid to ask.

"I was speculating about how a young child could come by such serious injuries and I remembered that story that Anthony told McGee during that kidnapping case of that young girl, Sarah Niles. It was to do with his 'last' Halloween when he borrowed his father's three thousand dollar ski suit to make an astronaut's costume and his father threw out all of his plunder. I finally realised that the remark that we all laughed at and assumed was an exaggeration about his licking, was both the truth and obfuscation.

A simple spanking by his father, which was implied rather than stated, I'll grant you, no matter how severe would be unlikely to prevent someone from being able to sit down. Yet we know that one Halloween when Marion was working at St Francis Hospital in New York, Anthony was admitted with injuries severe enough for him to be physically prevented from being able to sit down for several months. Lending verisimilitude to what was assumed to be grandiose hyperbole. I think we are dealing with one and the same event."

"I seem to recall that he was unusually nervous and jumpy that particular year, when he shared that story with young Timothy. It might explain why he would slip up like that. A full body cast would prevent him sitting alright; he would have been able to stand or lie down but he couldn't sit. And having witnessed his nightmare earlier, well it is pretty clear what happened to cause his injuries," he concluded brokenly. "Tony has always been uncharacteristically churlish, almost surly every single Halloween since I have known him and perhaps we now know why."

Gibbs was looking at the silent conversation being carried out between the doctor and nurse and he felt his rage stirring uncontrollably.

"You telling me Duck that that bastard a-hole of a father, did that to his own kid? How?" Gibbs roared drawing attention from the other patrons before they quickly averted their eyes in the unspoken common language of hospital etiquette. A universal understanding that each patient, their family and friends were on a voyage, where sorrow, pain, anger and despair were frequent companions upon the journey towards death or healing. A journey that ultimately required solitude and privacy.

"Yes, Jethro that is precisely what I am suggesting. And as to the how, well those types of injury especially a fractured pelvis in one so young, would not have been acquired by a simple trip down the stairs. A car crash is one scenario that fits, as does falling from a significant height or being thrown with force and therefore impacting with something hard. While it is impossible to know which of the scenarios caused his injuries for certain, one can still surmise. Based of course, on what we already know about our young friend; what he told McGee and importantly the ER staff, perhaps without meaning to give so much away." The ME poured another cup of tea and sipped it absentmindedly, as he continued.

"A young child of nine would have difficulty making up a lie, while injured so grievously. He would have been in significant pain at the time. It is entirely plausible that he just changed the details somewhat. We see that phenomenon often enough in our line of work, where people lie but still retain elements of the truth." Ducky glanced across at Jethro who nodded his agreement.

"It is entirely conceivably forensically, that an adult male could fling a small boy from the top of the stairs or over the balustrade and the impact of such a forceful impact could definitely cause those injuries I'm afraid," Ducky finished looking sick to his stomach and much older than he usually did. "I'm guessing that the type of residence on Long Island that Anthony has alluded to, would have had quite high ceilings and probably also have marble flooring and staircases, lending credence to our theory but of course, it is still conjecture unless Anthony tells us what really happened."

"The time frame fits in, too Jethro," Ducky mused. "Usually if we joke about a spanking, the old saying is that one couldn't sit down for a week, yet when Anthony told his Halloween tale, he made the extremely unusual statement that he wasn't able to sit down until Christmas. I know that Anthony likes everyone to think he is a dumb jock but he is actually extremely erudite and well spoken. He frequently corrects his colleagues' grammar and syntax and his written reports are well constructed. So I don't believe that he mixed that maxim up. I think it was actually a Freudian slip. He spoke a kernel of truth, surrounded by a healthy dose of dissembling. He would have definitely been in that cast for a couple of months with the injuries that Marion has described.

He could see that Gibbs was considering everything that the nurse and his friend had said and couldn't really fault Ducky's logic. He conceded that it was out of character for DiNozzo to exaggerate an injury or illness unless it was a paper cut. To say that he wasn't able to sit down for two months following Halloween, that probably was an unintentional slip of the tongue. That Halloween, when they were investigating the attempted murder of Staff Sergeant Eric Niles and the kidnapping of his daughter Sarah, Tony was extremely jumpy which was uncharacteristic, even getting spooked by an automated, robotic vacuum cleaner.

Once DiNozzo had told McGee and he in turn, passed on what he thought was an amusing and embarrassing story about his senior field agent, there was no going back. Being surrounded by professional investigators, Tony would have probably thought the safest thing would be to go with the existing story and let it die down. Ducky nodded agreement as Gibbs thought out loud remembering, that damned Roomba and how Anthony had jumped half a foot in the air, when it surprised him.

Gibbs had been trying hard to keep his temper under control remembering Ducky's warning about their informant. Knowing it wouldn't be long before Jethro started interrogating her in his usually bastard with two B's fashion, the elderly medical examiner decided that it would be better if he asked some unpleasant questions before Gibbs scared Marion off for good. Ducky had to know why no one had followed the procedure of mandatory reporting.

"So did anyone at St Francis's think that Anthony's account of how he was injured was ... unlikely, Marion?" Ducky enquired gently as he shot a glare at Gibbs, who snorted indelicately.

Marion's eyes began to tear up and she answered guiltily. "Of course they did doctor, we all did. But Tony denied it absolutely when we asked if someone hurt him. We all suspected he was being abused, we just couldn't prove it," she began sniffing, trying to hold herself together. She knew scary Gibbs was the type of guy, who would have little patience with crying females. Apart from which, frankly considering the suffering of a small boy, she really didn't have the right to cry over her own pain; it couldn't begin to compare.

Gibbs could help himself; he thumped the table and growled at the nurse. "So why the hell didn't one of you report the bastard?"

The nurse flinched and looked at him shamefaced. "Because the CEO of the hospital threatened anyone with immediate dismissal, who made an accusation without absolute proof and told they wouldm't get employment in another hospital. We were all just too scared, that we would lose our jobs and our livelihoods."

Ducky was appalled but found this emotion vying with his shock and outrage in a close tie. "Why would he do that?" he practically shouted.

"Because Mr DiNozzo was a benefactor of the Hospital – he was a major contributor to the new Oncology Wing as well as a member of the hospital board. He was also a crony of the CEO and Hospital Chairman so they didn't want to offend their cash cow," she answered cynically.

"After Tony was discharged, I just couldn't work there any more so I left and got a job at another hospital. But I've never forgotten that sweet child and I've never been able to forgive myself for not standing up for him. I started working with a children's charity for abused children, hoping it might help assuage my guilt. It didn't! I still think about him all the time and wish that I had been a strong enough person, to stand up and do the right thing for him, twenty five years ago," By now Marion was unable to contain her tears any longer, as she confessed her regret and shame, to Tony's two friends and protectors.

Ducky although appalled and terribly saddened by what he had heard, absentmindedly handed her a starched white, elegantly monogrammed handkerchief and briefly patted her hand. He understood now, her reaction when she had recognised Anthony's name and heard his anguished dreams. He could never condone what she had done, what they had all done. Especially knowing just how many people would have been in a position to intercede and save Anthony from an unbearable situation and the tragic consequences for him, when no one did.

As a medical examiner he had the unfortunate opportunity to study human behaviour in all of its depravity and aberrant variants imaginable, so very little managed to shock him anymore. Made his angry, made him sad, and sickened him beyond belief, that an individual could inflict such grievous suffering upon their fellow humans. The ability however of a parent to deliberately set out to harm their own offspring, was a heinous crime. Ducky could easily understand why law enforcement professionals even harden criminals, abhorred people who abused a child and wanted to mete out retribution.

Marion took Ducky's handkerchief gratefully and dabbed at her eyes before asking the question she had wanted to, ask since Ducky had confirmed her own suspicion that fate had brought them together again. "Excuse me Doctor Mallard but can you tell me what happened to Tony? Did someone rescue him?" He could see that she was hoping he would tell her that someone had been able to save him from his father and he wondered what to say.

"How did he become a federal agent?" she continued. "Did he find a foster family?" she asked and Ducky exchanged a sad smile with his friend. Here at least was a question that had a happy ending.

"Yes Marion, young Anthony finally found a foster family but not until Jethro here, brought him home from Baltimore where he was working as a Detective. Jethro's team is his family now, even if he isn't always very good at letting us look after him. He finds it hard to understand that we could care about him or why we do. He has a heart of pure gold and would lay down his life for any of us but is confused when we try and reciprocate."

The nurse nodded, "he was such a kind, loving child and so polite."

Ducky smiled in spite of what he had learnt about his young friend. Ducky had long held fears that their agent had been the victim of his parents' psychopathology. Anthony had hinted often enough that both his parents had issues with alcohol, apart from his mother's addiction to prescription medication. So it didn't take a genius to figure out that his childhood would have been highly abnormal. Further evidence of his unfortunate childhood could be discerned, by cataloguing a myriad of behavioural indicators such as his need to play the clown and diffuse his mentor's explosive temper and his obsessive need to protect everyone, at his own expense.

Also, Anthony's unfathomable ability to find reasons to lay blame upon himself, for everything and anything that occurred, was another red flag. Most disturbing of all to Ducky perhaps, was his highly pathological ability to forgive everyone else's transgression or mistakes against him, even when they treated him a piece of disgusting excrement. It was never more evident, at least to the ME, when in involved someone that he loved like his father, partner or team mates. Then he would mentally twist himself into a pretzel, to enable him to justify and excuse their behaviour. The only person that he could never truly grant forgiveness to, was himself. Ducky had long believed that was because he didn't feel worthy of being loved and therefore was unable to love himself.

All the signs were there and the senior field agent had indeed both, explicitly and tacitly admitted to a childhood of neglect and emotional abuse at various times, when his guard was down. Yet, he had always remained adamant, that his father had never laid a hand on him. Of course Ducky had been dubious after seeing the radiological evidence and knowing that X-rays didn't lie. He also knew that they only told a fraction of what Marion and ironically, Anthony himself had finally confirmed. At least one incident of terrible physical abuse occurred, giving weight to the medical examiners long held suspicions about the number of very old fractures and scars, which were highly suggestive of systemic physical abuse. So it didn't take a genius to figure out that his childhood would have been extremely dysfunctional.

Ducky's morbid musing was interrupted by a text message on his cell phone. He smiled wryly, thinking of how Americanised he had become, after working in the United States for such a long time. His brethren in the United Kingdom referred to cell phones as mobile phones and looked askance at him when he told them to call him on his cell phone. He glanced at the screen, not surprised that Abby had texted to say Anthony was rousing. He always fought the effects of sedatives and painkillers strenuously.

They needed to be prepared and on the same page when he woke up. Anthony could always read Jethro like a cheap dime store novel and know that something was wrong. Knowing him like he did, Ducky was certain that Anthony would internalise it and convince himself he was at fault.

"Abby says he is coming around, dear people. We need to return to his room. I'll just pick up a highly caffeinated, diabetes inducing, beverage for our favourite Goth and we can be on our way."

Marion excused herself and hurried away to see to her patient. Ducky, grabbed hold of Gibbs to make sure he realised that he couldn't go barging in, with his usual _bull in a china shop _fashion and demand answers. Anthony was still recovering from surgery and in an emotionally vulnerable state. He just hoped that Gibbs would be able to contain the rage because although they had just learnt about his injuries, for Anthony, it had occurred a long time ago and he would naturally be focusing on his gunshot wound and recovery.

Next chapter: A zombie, a ghoul, a Lug-Head and the WBH.


	4. Chapter 4

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own them or stand to gain from any playing around with the characters.

A/N Thank you so much, to everyone who took the time to review and for all the alerts too. Lot56 I wasn't able to thank you by PM. As before this chapter is not beta'd so excuse the errors.

Couple of housekeeping issues LOL. In this chapter Tony sends out an SOS for backup. After some futile research I haven't been able to find his Badge number so I did what any self respecting fiction writer would do. I made it up!

Second issue, in communicating with the local LEOs using radio code, I discovered that there isn't one universal code after hanging out of some Cop message boards. How crazy is that. So I opted to use what seemed to be a reasonably common one but whether it is the same one that Baltimore and Virginia cops both use... well don't shoot me if it isn't correct.

Oh and final point. I should have said that this story takes place during season six.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 4

By the time Ducky and Jethro arrived back in Tony's room, they could hear their exuberant forensic scientist happily filling the silence, delivering a mile-a-minute monologue. Abby bounced from her Habitat for Humanity plans later in the month, to the exploits of the bunch of nuns she'd buddied up with, to Bert the Hippo's views on the latest gossip at the lab. All the while, Abby remained in a state of perpetual motion. She twirled, jiggled and bounced on her clunky platform boots which should have made her clumsy and awkward, yet she retained an air of grace, even if it was exhausting to watch her.

While Abby seemed to be incapable of remaining still or silent, nevertheless she was utterly focused on her friend. She alternated between long soothing strokes of his forearm to softly massaging his scalp. Between the cheery chatter and comforting touch, it appeared that her presence was grounding Tony and keeping any nightmares at bay. Ducky smiled approvingly at the young woman and handed over what he considered to be a highly toxic, overly caffeinated soft drink. He apologised that he hadn't been able to obtain her chosen poison – the cherry flavoured Caff-Pow.

"It's all cool Duckman, this will tide me over and keep me mellow," she chirruped while continuing her gentle coddling.

Ducky snorted gently and exchanged an amused glance with Jethro because mellow was not a description he would have ever associate with their young Goth. If this was Abby mellow, he'd hate to see her really hyped up. Mellow or not though, Abby was nothing if not highly perceptive and she started shooting penetrating looks at Gibbs and Ducky before finally speaking.

"Is something wrong with Tony? I mean, I know he was shot and all, but he's going to be okay, isn't he? Cuz there is some seriously bad energy in the room at the moment Guys.

Before either man could respond to her queries, she was off on an Abby tangent.

"Ducky... your chakras need some serious rebalancing and Bossman...don't even get me get me started on you... cuz yours are just so blocked that it would probably take a room full of Reiki Masters... plus some Rolfing Practitioners not to mention some aura cleansing too... to unblock your energy... have you ever thought about aromatherapy Gibbs... or I could get you a crystal to keep beside your bed...er boat to absorb the bad energy that you are giving off... but then you would need to cleanse the crystal regularly... and well you know that you wouldn't do it... well I know that you would mean to do it... but then you would forget or get called out on a case or McGee..."

Both men were listening in a state of befuddled astonishment at Abby's attack of verbal diarrhoea, when a groan from the bed interrupted her new-age ramblings. Another raspy groan was elicited before Tony spoke. "Breathe Abbs."

Immediately, all three visitors were refocused on the individual in the hospital bed. Ducky and Gibbs joined Abby clustered around his bed as he fought to open his eyes, clearly showing evidence of the narcotics that remained in his system. His pupils were dilated and his eyelids remained stubbornly at half mast. Gibbs and Ducky noted that with a return to consciousness, he was also experiencing the inevitable symptoms of nausea that frequently accompanied general anaesthetics. Something he was unfortunately, unusually sensitive to.

While Ducky reached for a dish that could be used to vomit into, Gibbs was dispatched to find Marion. They knew from experience that Tony would need to get some Compazine to ward off the cyclic vomiting, that was just around the corner. Meanwhile Abby was trying to coach him through the nausea, ironically reminding him to breathe, which made Ducky snort inelegantly.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Now that the nausea was under control Tony was sitting propped up while Abby was feeding him ice chips. Abby wasn't the only one who was perceptive when it came to reading her teammates. Even when recovering from surgery, he was aware that something was definitely hinky as the Goth would say. He examined the non verbal body language of his three visitors and could tell that something was seriously off with all three of them.

Abby seemed nervous. She kept stealing surreptitious glances at Ducky and Gibbs as if she was trying to figure something out, while Ducky seemed older, wearier and well...sad. Gibbs was trying to act normal but Tony was used to reading Gibbs so he could anticipate his behaviour and requests. Gibbs was giving off some very strong vibes that were making Tony feel bad.

Gibbs was angry about something and trying hard not to show it. He was also paradoxically trying to be nice, which Tony always found damned hinky and it made him feel uncomfortable and uncertain. There was another emotion going on with him too, which Tony wasn't quite able to identify but it made his gut churn nevertheless, as if it knew something that he didn't.

He got the anger! No doubt the Boss was pissed at him for getting shot. Gibbs was going to be down a member of the MCRT team and his senior field agent to boot. And the kicker was that Tony hadn't even been injured on the job for NCIS. So of course Gibbs was going to want to tear him a new one. Tony had to admit, that there were times even he bought into the whole trouble magnet thingy, that his boss often accused him of being. He hadn't deliberately gone looking for trouble, earlier that night.

**Earlier that night**

He'd finally been on his way home when he noticed a suspicious pair of males entering a convenience store. They were dressed as a zombie and a ghoul and carrying what sure looked like real machetes. Okay so it was Halloween and every man and his dog was dressed up in dumb-assed costumes and probably went shopping in convenience stores on Halloween. Yet for Tony, once a cop always a cop, and he knew that perps would take advantage of the holiday and being able to don anonymous costumes and stroll around with unconcealed weapons. He knew that perps thought that the Halloween holiday was an open invitation to be able to commit crimes without provoking the suspicions of Joe Citizens.

He wasn't sure why his cop radar had pinged as he drove past, when they entered the shop. Yet it did! All he knew was that the pair was up to no good and he had to stop and check it out. He'd called it in to a buddy on the Metro Police Department area command but was informed that all available units were busy; ETA for a squad car was approximately fifteen minutes, for a routine callout. There were several customers visible in the shop and Tony had a Gibbs sized gut ache that wouldn't be silenced. He grabbed his gun, badge and ID and sneaked into the store to check out his suspicions, regarding the Ghoul and the Zombie.

His gut had been working just fine unfortunately and the Ghoul was holding up, several customers at the point of a very sharp machete and an Smith & Wesson, demanding they hand over cash and valuables. They were in the candy and snack food aisle about half way down the shop. Meanwhile the Zombie was at the front counter, threatening the store owner with an unidentified hand gun. Tony could hear him, loudly ordering that the till be opened and the owner hand over the night's takings.

Neither perp had noticed Tony enter the store so after carefully assessing the situation, he knew that backup wasn't going to get there anytime soon. The way things stood, he needed back-up and he needed it ASAP. He backed out again very carefully, and grabbed his phone and typed a 911 text:

SA DiNozzo NCIS ID 689619

211 (armed robbery in progress)

10-13 (officer needs assistance)

store Cr North and 117 St

Cnfrm lctn via Cell GPS

Tony hit send, knowing that it would soon bring down a horde of unies as back up. No cop ever ignored an Officer Needs Assistance code. It was the quickest way of getting help, although Gibbs would no doubt be pissed he hadn't called him. Tony decided that he would just wait and watch, until they arrived.

That was, until he saw a previously unobserved shop assistant who evidently decided to save the day. He must have been out the back when the Zombie and the Ghoul had decided to hold up the store. Instead of calling the police, sitting on his butt and waiting for help to arrive, he was trying to play hero and sneak up behind the Ghoul, armed with a freaking baseball bat, no less! Tony couldn't help but groan softly at the stupidity of people who obviously watched, way too many Jean-Claude Van Damme movies.

As risky and crazy as it was to go in without back-up, Tony simply couldn't stand around and do nothing. Even when it went against SOP and every protocol, not to mention how he was going to get reamed out by the Boss. Not while a misguided civilian played at being a hero and got everyone else shot or killed.

So he cautiously re-entered the store and started to creep towards the Ghoul while keeping one wary eye on the Zombie, who was still arguing with the store owner. It seemed that there wasn't as much money in the till as the Zombie was expecting and he was accusing the owner of trying to hide money from , everything went pear shaped very quickly from that point.

One of the customers, who clearly couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, couldn't help betraying the would-be hero with the baseball bat. Instead of ignoring said WBH he alerted the Ghoul that someone was behind him, by staring wide eyed at him, as he came up behind the Ghoul. Not surprisingly, the Ghoul reacted by turning around and discovering the shop assistant, about to rearrange his brain cells with the baseball bat. The second customer, a guy with way more machismo than brains who Tony mentally nicknamed Lug-Head, took advantage of the distraction and launched himself at the Ghoul. What testosterone driven Lug-Head didn't factor into his decision to go for the Ghoul, was that the Zombie also had a gun and was about to shoot him in the back.

Mentally cursing dumbass civilians, Tony took off with an explosive dive, taking Lug-Head down in a perfect tackle. He knew even before he launched himself, that there was a good chance he was going to get shot by a zombie. God he loved Halloween! So as he hit the ground a second before the bullet slammed into his thigh, he fired his sig with a deadly accuracy to take out the Ghoul, permanently. Groaning as he twisted away from Lug-head, he rolled one eighty degrees, aimed and fired at the Zombie who was lining up for a second shot.

Rather than aiming at Tony which would have been smarter, the Zombie was lining up his revolver at WBH with the baseball bat. Tony fired off several shots, although his usual impeccable aim was off. Instead of delivering two kill shots he missed just enough, so that they would probably all end up testifying in court, at the Zombie's trial. Before he gave into the darkness that was calling his name, his last thought was that Gibbs was going to have his ass, for getting shot and screwing up a kill shot... twice! And he was going to be riding a desk...again.

By the time he regained consciousness, he was already halfway to the hospital. He also realised that Gibbs was probably on his way to the hospital too, even now. One of the LEOs at the scene would have definitely called him by now. DiNozzo was pretty well known and liked by the local Virginia PD and his boss was equally feared and respected. While the Unies and Dees would have drawn straws to see who got the short one, to make the call to inform Gibbs, they wouldn't have been game not to call either.

Luckily, it looked as if he was going to be capable of signing his own Informed Consent forms, for his surgery. So there was no need to have to have the conversation that he'd been putting off having with Gibbs for weeks. The talk '_I've replace you with Ducky as my Medical Proxy and Next of Kin' _was one he wasn't exactly looking forward to having but knew that he would have to suck it up sooner or later. Hopefully he wouldn't have to have it tonight with a bullet lodged in his thigh, though.

Tony had been thinking about changing his proxy for a very long time now. His relationship with his mentor had changed a lot in the last couple of years and it hadn't been for the better. He had finally done the deed after the shambolic Domino affair, when Gibbs decision to deliberately lie to him, had been the final straw in his ability to trust his boss without reservation. Ducky on the other hand, had been there for him when no one else had been.

He had really been reluctant to put Ducky in the awkward position of taking Gibbs' place but he couldn't ask Abby to side with him. Wasn't even sure that she would have, because her Silver Fox was nothing short of perfect in her eyes but he knew that Ducky would do right by him. One thing was certain, Gibbs was going to go ballistic when he found out. Or maybe he would be relieved to be rid of the obligation. It wasn't as if they were all that close. Not any more anyway!

Next Chapter: Tony give a Sit Rep to his superiors and a new friend is watching his six.

A/N This chapter is a bit shorter than previous ones but I ended up splitting it in half because it was well over five thousand words. Next chapter up soon!


	5. Chapter 5

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own them, don't profit from them, just having some fun!

A/N Thanks to people who take the time to review. To the trusty LoT56 for another review, thanks a bunch :) It makes an author's day to find a notification in the inbox for a new review. Thanks for all those individuals who have alerted for this story too

Just to clarify the timeline that I should have established more clearly. The so called Freudian slip that is the genesis for this story takes place back in Season 4: episode 6 entitled Witch Hunt (thanks AlexDN) but this story takes place several years later. Specifically during Season 6. The armed robbery occurs several weeks after episode 8 Cloak and episode 9 Dagger. In the early part of Season six with the return of DiNozzo from Agent Afloat, there was a definite cooling off of the relationship between Gibbs and Tony. Yet by episode 16: Bounce, Gibbs was back to offering Tony his unconditional support again. The writers never actually seemed to explain that anomaly. I decided to rectify that, as you will hopefully see by the end of the story. And now back to the story...

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 5

So yeah, Tony got why Gibbs was angry with him. Getting shot and missing a kill shot... was more than enough to set him off. Then toss in, the loss of Gibbs' field agent while he was off injured and that added up to one pissed off team lead.

Plus there were the hours that would be lost because of depositions, testifying as a witness at a trial, plus witness prep with an Assistant District Attorney and at least one, possibly two IA investigations into his actions. That didn't even begin to take into account, the mandatory counselling sessions and Psychological Evaluations before he could resume full duties again, which added up to a lot of lost time. Tony could see exactly why his boss was literally vibrating with unexpressed rage. No wonder Abby was getting jumpy too.

What was more unfathomable than Gibbs' anger though, was that he was acting nice and well...unless he had been given a total personality transplant by a mad scientist, Tony couldn't begin to work out why the Boss was acting so out of character. He always found it totally creepy to be around a nice Gibbs. The last time the Boss had been nice to him, had been after they lost Special Agent Caitlyn Todd. There was only one explanation for Gibbs acting that way and that was because something bad was about to happen. Maybe Vance was pissed off, that he had gotten involved in an armed robbery and was going to punish him by sending him back to sea, again.

Or maybe the Director had decided to cut his losses and fire him and Gibbs was feeling bad because he was injured and Abby would be upset, when Tony had to leave NCIS. Whatever Vance was going to do, he really wished that they would get on with it and just put him out of his misery. Maybe he could get a job with the Metro PD and he'd still get to see Abby, Ducky and Palmer sometimes.

But even Gibbs being nice to him, wasn't anywhere near as freaking weird and gut churning as the other ' whatever the hell it was' emotion, that was making him feel like throwing up again. If only he could put his finger on it, he might be able to figure out what was going on, because clearly something was up. Tony was on the point of asking Abby to go for a walk so he could confront Gibbs, when there was a knock on the door and Tony was reminded of the phrase, speak of the devil.

NCIS Director Leon Vance strode into the room in his usual haughty manner, accompanied by his toothpick plus the Assistant Chief of the Metro Police Department and Tony silently groaned, expecting the worst. He had been unconscious at the scene and no one had been able to take his statement. So obviously, the two men were here to get his version of what had gone down at the shooting. He guessed a detective would be along tomorrow, to get his statement but no doubt there was already plenty of press about the holdup. Of course they needed a Sit Rep.

Director Vance nodded to Gibbs, Ducky and Abby before introducing the Assistant Chief Darryl Amos. The commissioner was a florid faced, formerly blonde-haired, beanpole who had skipped the grey stage and turned completely white haired. He also looked as if he had been spending a little too long, having networking lunches and too few hours in the gym since his promotion. Amos despite his recent career advancement, was still very much a working cop at heart and unusually for someone who was in a position of power, had retained a rather irreverent sense of humour. He was also fiercely loyal to his men.

Leon Vance then introduced the Assistant Chief to the wounded special agent, lying in the hospital bed. It was clear to both men that he was still feeling the effects of the surgery. Vance stared at Gibbs, raised an eyebrow as he bit down on the ubiquitous toothpick and enquired, "Sit Rep?"

Gibbs shook his head and looked over at his agent. "Was waiting til you got here Director, so he didn't have to go over it twice. Gonna have to tell it often enough tomorrow. Figured I'd let him rest, meanwhile."

Vance redirected his stare at Tony. "When you're ready DiNozzo," indicating that he should report what had gone down, in the convenience store.

Tony was nervous, convinced that Vance had come to discipline him, hell to probably use his latest stuff-up to show him the door. Before he handed him the loaded gun so Vance could execute his coup de grâce,Tony desperately needed to know about the perps.

"What do we know about the Zombie and the Ghoul, Sir?" he asked, directing his query to the Deputy Commissioner.

Amos grinned at the quirky monikers. "Ghoul was a low life career criminal, Elroy James, 31 years, mainly low level stuff, couple of unarmed 211's; Zombie aka Marco Rodriguez is a real sleaze bag too, 36 years, mostly aggravated assaults and some domestic violence convictions. A couple of real charmers, Special Agent DiNozzo," he filled him in quickly, seeing the younger man let out a sigh of relief.

Tony was relieved beyond belief. He knew that he didn't have a choice when he fired on the Zombie and killed the Ghoul but he was really hoping that he hadn't taken down a couple of drug addled teenagers. He nodded, grateful for small mercies before launching into a clear, concise account of what had gone down. When Tony reached the part where he was describing why he made the decision to break protocol and act without backup, Amos couldn't contain his curiosity.

"WBH and LH, DiNozzo?"

Tony's green eyes gleamed briefly with humour. "Would-Be Hero aka the shop assistant and Lug-Head aka the dumb-ass vic, Sir."

Darryl Amos let out a short sharp bark of laughter. He appreciated the federal agent's quirky sense of humour but he nodded at Tony to finish his account. Tony finished up, before leaning back on his pillows, spent and waiting for the axe to fall.

"Just one question Special Agent DiNozzo. What made you suspicious about James and Rodriguez? What made you stop?"

A slight smile graced the lips of the clearly exhausted special agent, even if it never made it to his eyes. "Um... cop's instinct I guess, Sir. Once a cop..." _always a cop, _he finished silently thinking that he might well be applying to PDs again after this stunt.

Amos grinned and nodded. A good cop's instinct was something indefinable and if you had it, it... well it saved lives, sometimes your own or your partner's. Often it saved innocent civilians but it was something that couldn't be taught. You either had it or you didn't and boy, did this guy have it in spades. No wonder all the cops he had spoken too raved about him. He was the ultimate paradox; a much admired and popular Fed who didn't treat the local LEOs like crap under his shoes. Unlike most other feds did!

The Chief was going to love this guy. He was already preparing to turn this into a good news story, especially in light of the fact that this particular Fed, had been one of them before jumping ship. He patted Tony on the shoulder and told him to get some rest. Vance also nodded agreement and Tony couldn't contain his anxiety any more.

"So what now Director?" he asked.

"Now, you get some sleep and tomorrow you will be required to give a sworn statement and submit to the required IA investigations into an agent-involved shooting. Meanwhile the Chief of Police and I will give a press conference in the morning."

"But will I be reassigned as an Agent Afloat again or are you letting me go, Director?" Tony asked, determined to know the worst, so he could at least make plans.

Abby gave an outraged gasp, Ducky clucked in disapproval while Gibbs uttered an explosive oath under his breath. Leon Vance frowned and glanced across at the Deputy Commissioner who was also regarding him with shocked distaste.

Leon Vance took a deep breath. "Why would you think that, Tony?"

"Um... you warned me not to mess up again, Director. I got shot and missed a kill shot, twice."

Darryl Amos jumped in. "You took a bullet meant for a civilian, saved four lives and took down two armed assailants, Special Agent DiNozzo. I've already recommended you for a commendation. The Police Chief is going to announce it at the press conference in the morning. Far as I'm concerned, you're a bonafide hero. You ever get tired of your current employers Detective, I want first dibs on you, ya hear? And I'll make it well and truly worth your while."

Tony shook his head stubbornly. "With all due respect, Sir I don't want a commendation, nor do I deserve one. The store owner should get one for making sure I didn't bleed out, before the Unies arrived and for disarming the Zombie when I passed out."

Tony was starting to get agitated. His blood pressure was steadily rising and Ducky was about to call a halt to proceedings when Abby, who had slipped out unnoticed, returned with Marion and the nurse immediately took charge. Quickly assessing her patient's strained features and his elevated blood pressure; she sternly ordered everyone out of Tony's room so she could stabilise him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs could tell Leon was disgruntled at best, although seething probably was a more accurate description. So he decided that he should probably accompany him and AC Amos out of the hospital. See if he could smooth his ruffled feathers. Vance and DiNozzo had a rocky relationship at best but he reckoned without the assistant Chief.

Vance glared at Gibbs."What's got up DiNozzo's ass, Jethro?"

"Dunno Director. I guess getting shot and having a bullet surgically removed, doesn't agree with him," he deadpanned although to be honest, he wasn't sure that was it.

Tony had been shot before and he hadn't seen him like this. Sure he was going to be off duty and an idle DiNozzo was a depressed DiNozzo but Gibbs' gut was telling him there was more to it. Maybe Duck could shed some light on the matter.

Vance glared across at the Assistant Chief. "You think it is ethical to try to poach one of my agents right under my nose, Assistant Chief Amos?"

AC Amos glared right back at him. Your agent sounded to me, as if he thought you were going to fire him, Director. What the hell have you folks done to him, that he would think he was such a screw up? Do you know who the crap you have in there? I had my Media Liaison Department do a full background check before I decided to recommend his commendation or the Chief would accept it."

" Your Special Agent is one hell of a cop. One of the youngest detectives ever to be awarded a gold shield, and a damned fine one I might add, with a phenomenal closure rate. Do you realise he is a legend; everyone's heard of the guy that brought down the Macaluso Mafia family. His undercover exploits even apart from that case, are quoted in pretty much every police academy, in training lectures for new recruits," he scolded the two feds.

"And as to the poaching, you do realise don't you, that according to my research, Homeland Security, the FBI, CIA and probably a bunch of other alphabet agency regularly send out job offers, not to mention most of the major PDs across the country, to try and recruit him? They all want him because they know just what a valuable asset he is. Apart from that, every Metro cop I spoke to, whether Unies or Dees, all had nothing but nice things to say about him. Cops don't like feds and feds don't like us but Tony is a rarity. He is liked and admired to such an extent that he is the only Fed to be invited to play on our Metro PD basketball team."

He'd fit like a glove, if he accepted my offer and I'm going to see that the Commish makes it an official job offer. He'd make a terrific Chief of Dees except it would almost be a crime to keep his investigative skills out of the field."

He took another breath before he finished speaking his mind. Dinozzo was right. Once a cop, always a cop and it was clear that Tony was fighting some pretty bad demons right now. He wasn't sure that the Feds were actually capable of watching his back. Maybe it was time that he came home, where his fellow cops could support him and they spoke his language.

He glared at Gibbs and Vance. "I asked before, and I'll ask you again. What the hell did you people do to the guy? I've talked to cops that used to work with him and apart from the fact that they all said he was brilliant, they said he was brash, cocky and super confident. So where is he, cuz gentlemen, he sure as hell wasn't in there in the hospital bed? Why would he think you would send him out on some BS boat or kick his ass to the curb, if you haven't broken his spirit? He deserves so much more than that and if you don't appreciate what you've got, then we sure as hell will." He pulled the collar up on his jacket as he prepared to leave.

" Special Agent Gibbs, watch his god-damned back a bit better. Director Vance, I'll inform Chief Camden to expect you downtown at 10.00 am for the joint press conference." And with that, he turned and walked swiftly away into the night.

Next chapter: Tony finally identifies the emotion that Gibbs is feeling and Marion makes a mistake. Next chapter will be up soon.


	6. Chapter 6

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't make money from them.

A/N Well, it seems that Assistant Chief Darryl Amos struck a chord with a lot of people LOL. Without giving too much away, you may not have seen the last of Darryl and for those people that enjoy a good chewing out, rest assured that it was just the entree. :) Main course a little later.

Please excuse any errors. I proof read obsessively but am resigned to the inevitable fact that I will miss something. I can only hope that it isn't a huge mistake, like the one that slipped through in the last chapter and that everyone has been polite enough not to point out. :(

Finally thanks to all the people who took the time and effort to PM, review and alert for the last chapter. I appreciate all the support and to those people who reviewed anonymously, I want to thank you too. Well enough raving...

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 6

Ducky watched Anthony while he dozed intermittently, as Abby perched on the bed snuggled into him, as he slept. After Marion had banished everyone from his room, they had decided that a minimal dose of a light sedative would be in order. When Tony still remained distressed, Ducky had prescribed some 'Abby Therapy' which had done the trick. This unique mode of treatment consisted of her sharing an amusing account of her last bowling match, where the Nuns plus One (Ms Abigail Scuito) beat the pants off the Sparkies, who Ducky surmised were a bunch of electricians. He nodded approvingly as the Master of Deflection, was himself deflected by combination of Abigail's prattle and a pleasant buzz from some subtle sedation.

Ducky was disturbed by the calm fatalism, that Anthony had exhibited when he asked the Director if he was going to send him away, again. Though Ducky supposed that he really shouldn't be too shocked, that his friend was expecting to be banished from his home and family again; given his long standing issues with parental abandonment, combined with his recently despised, deployment afloat. It was a timely reminder to the Medical Examiner come Forensic Psychological Profiler, that as much as Tony was a master of projecting a bullet proof Special Agent, dig just under the surface and he was a mass of insecurities and emotional scars.

Anthony was an amazingly resilient individual, who had overcome many hurdles in his life already. It was still important to remember that each injury though, be it physical or psychological, every slight, intentional or not, every stressful situation or trauma, were not discrete events or assaults to his psyche. His previous traumas and injuries combined and became synergistic in their consequences. They made him more vulnerable to new stressors that occurred and it would be prudent for everyone, to be mindful of this fact.

It was a similar situation, with his immune system and lung function. Whenever he was ill or injured, even when it had no direct relationship to his pulmonary function, Dr Brad Pitt and Ducky were always hyper vigilant because of the impairment of his immune response, which had been caused by the pneumonic plague. It placed him at increased risk of all sorts of medical complications.

Whenever he was taken to hospital, his lungs were monitored and if necessary, coddled with oxygen therapy and he was frequently given prophylactic antibiotics, because his immune system wasn't able to deal with threats like a normal individual. Ducky found himself constantly nagging Anthony, to take adequate breaks, get enough sleep and eat healthily to support his immune function. Even if persuading the special agent to take good care of his health, was a never ending challenge and made Ducky feel like a fussbudget or a governess.

Anthony's developmental history also placed him in a perilous state to have to cope with major life events that were stressful, and he had also managed to choose a profession that was extremely high risk. He had watched colleagues bleed out in front of him, or worn their brain matter and lifeblood, he had lost relationships because of his job and been injured many times. He had been placed in danger, countless times and had to do things that he would deeply regret for the rest of his life. His life was fundamentally changed, by the work that was so important to him and the cost had been high, as his lungs would attest. And all that, combined with the trauma of his childhood, absolutely affected the way he reacted to stress; as this current situation clearly exemplified.

It shocked everyone, especially Leon that he would think that his heroic actions might be construed as a screw up but clearly, Anthony's mental contortionism was already in high gear. What was of greater concern was that he was obviously in a much more perilous emotional state, than even Ducky had realised. He had hoped that when Anthony had finally been permitted to return home from his deployment as Agent Afloat, he would be able to begin dealing with what had been, an absolutely horrendous year for him.

And then the whole Domino affair had blown up and knocked everyone off balance, yet Ducky had good reason to know that it had messed with his friend, in a much more fundamental manner. Anthony had come to him a few days after that fiasco, and hummed and hawed around before finally asking him if he would become his designated medical proxy and next of kin, for the purposes of his employment.

When Ducky had hesitated fractionally, Anthony as a master of reading non verbal communicational cues, had immediately detected his hesitation. Tony backpedalled and tried to convince him that it had all been a joke. He must have thought, that he was placing the medical examiner in an awkward position and tried to let him off the hook gracefully. It typified his method of dealing with those he loved or cared deeply for, that he would never knowingly cause them pain or distress. It was also the mark of the man that he experienced far too much angst, whenever he needed to deceive innocent people, when he worked under cover, as Ducky knew all too well.

The truth was simply, that Anthony had caught him by surprise about the proxy. Ducky had realised that he was struggling with everything that had happen lately. Well, at least since Gibbs had retired and then changed his mind and returned, if not before then. However in departing, Gibbs' actions had created a situation where Anthony had been sucked into the vortex of the former director's obsessional vendetta and then once again, when her desire to right a professional error and protect her former lover, had ended up with him caught right in the crosshairs. Unfortunately in trying to right one wrong, she added up another burden to her agent that he could ill afford.

Then, being exiled from his family as Agent Afloat, Anthony was prevented from having a support system in the aftermath of Jenny's death. Nor had he ever been given the opportunity to properly grieve for his friend Paula Cassidy and the loss of his lover Jeanne Benoit which had almost crushed him. When he came home to Washington, he should have had a chance to begin processing some of his pain and grief, with a proper support system.

Then, Jethro had broken one of his own rules. Rule One no less, which really superseded all the rest. Jethro had screwed over his partner and had seemed almost proud about it when he confessed that it had been his own idea to keep Tony in the dark. He had also seemed quite oblivious to the pain it had wrought on his partner of eight years. Ducky wondered how he could be so truly impervious to his friend's anger and pain that had been radiating off him in waves, as he confronted his mentor in Autopsy. Ducky couldn't help but wonder, what had happened to Gibbs' infamous gut?

So after he grabbed Anthony by the shoulder, as he was about to run out of autopsy, Ducky assured him that he would be honoured to be there for him. The ME suggested that he should bring the necessary forms over to his house that night and they would have dinner. They hadn't had a chance to get together outside of the office, since Tony had returned from the USS Seahawk. Ducky had been looking forward to showing off his new biography of Sean Connery, as they were both huge fans of the Scottish born actor.

Ducky's musing about the past, was interrupted by Gibbs entering the room and they exchanged a meaningful stare before Ducky spoke. "Well that certainly went well Jethro."

Gibbs just glared. "Ya think Duck?"

"It would seem that our lad has managed to make yet another friend, in Assistant Chief Amos."

Gibbs merely shot him a filthy glare and Ducky contemplated what had prompted that. He thought perhaps it was Darryl's cheeky attempt to recruit Gibbs senior field agent. He decided not to pursue that issue right now. Ducky decided a change of topics might be wise.

"So, did you manage to achieve some much needed damage control, with Leon? I think he may have felt like he lost face, in here tonight."

"You've no idea Duck. Amos let him have it when we got outside, after Leon got snarky about him offering DiNozzo a job. Then he really ripped into Vance, about not doing right by DiNozzo... well both of us, actually." Gibbs confessed. "Vance is totally pissed!"

Ducky smiled slyly. "Is that so? Well I must say, I'm beginning to like the Assistant Chief of Police, Jethro. He seems like a fine man and able policeman; highly intelligent and extremely perceptive. I hope we get to work with him again."

"Hey Duck, what the hell did I do? It was Vance that sent him away to sea."

Marion entered the room to check on Tony and Ducky decided that it was probably a good thing that he didn't get to finish that particular conversation. He couldn't believe that Gibbs could be so dense but he did know, that Jethro definitely wouldn't like the answer to the question he had just asked, so maybe it was all to the good that they had been interrupted. _One of these days Jethro, I am going to tell you some home truths that you won't like to hear and I don't care that you are one of my oldest friends, either._

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Tony was back in the convenience store. He shot dead the Ghoul and this time, managed to kill the Zombie too. He stooped to pull off the Ghoul's mask and found himself staring down into the familiar face of his friend, Jimmy Palmer and when he raced over and ripped away the mask from the Zombie, there lay Abby; her dead eyes staring at him, hurt and pleading. As he opened his mouth and started screaming, he was surrounded by other spectres of his guilt. His mother, Cate, Paula and Jenny encircled him, all pointing accusing fingers in his face and asking why he always killed his friends._

He woke up whimpering softly, as someone hugged him fiercely around the waist. A familiar gunpowder scent, assaulted his senses as did a familiar low pitched murmuring and he realised that it was Abby and he had been having a nightmare. '_Oh peachy, a brand new Halloween dream to add to the others! Variety being the spice and all that crap,' _he told himself wearily.

He opened his eyes and came face to face with Abby's worried green eyes. He smiled at her, relieved that he really hadn't shot her or Jimmy. They were both damn good friends and he was so grateful he had them in his life. They both seemed to be able to see past all his crap and see him for who he was and more importantly, they actually seemed to like the real Anthony.

He searched the rest of the room and sure enough, Ducky and Gibbs were watching him. Ducky had his clinical '_I'm examining and diagnosing you with my eyes,'_ physician's expression and Gibbs was wearing his '_I'm going to strip away all your defences and discover every secret thought you've ever had'_ investigator's expression. Tony could still detect anger and the other two emotions emanating from Gibbs but he was looking confused too. Like his senior field agent had two heads, Tony thought, feeling incredibly jaded.

This day just got better by the shining moment. Would it never end? Halloween had never been a good day for him but this one was definitely up there with his top three suckiest Halloween's ever. Maybe he should just do everyone else a favour and resign. That dream could have been a premonition that if he stayed, he'd end up putting his friends at risk. As for his partnership with Gibbs, what had once seemed so solid, so unbreakable in the first couple of years they worked together... well it was definitely at breaking point, now.

Gibbs seemed to have reached his tipping point too, even if he was treating him with kid gloves. He took a breath and asked. "What's up with you, DiNozzo?"

Maybe it was the drugs he had been given, maybe it was the nightmares or the encounter with the Director or the culmination of all the crappy things that had been going on lately. Maybe it was simply that Gibbs still seemed to be able to get under his skin and make him do things he had no intention of doing leaving Tony, despising himself later on. Whatever the reason, he found himself answering, without engaging his brain to censure his thoughts.

"Thinkin it might be time to move on again."

It wasn't until he heard the collective reaction to his statement, that he realised that he had just said that out loud.

"Hey Abbs, don't cry. We'll stay in touch, I promise."

A swift glance at Gibbs was confusing; his blood suffused face, revealed his anger, well an increase in anger actually but his features were contorted with whatever inner demons he was struggling against as he tried to be 'nice.' Then of course, there was that other emotion, the one Tony couldn't hang a handle on. The one that made him feel like he was the Probie, on one of the Navy's battleships in the middle of the Atlantic, trying not to puke his guts up. It seemed as if his boss finally decided to take off his kid gloves though, when a nurse walking into his room to check on him.

She was an older nurse, with a kind face and a calm air about her but he realised in a sort of fascinated horror, that she wore an almost identical expression to the one that Tony had been trying to identify in Gibbs. Just like Gibbs though, more than one emotion was etched across her face. Yet in her case, Tony had little difficulty in identifying all of her emotions; rather than anger and kindliness, the nurse was displaying shame, guilt and pity. Which explained why Tony, hadn't been able to figure it out when it came to his boss. Gibbs and pity were two concepts that didn't belong together, any more than Gibbs and lawyers, Gibbs and tea, Gibbs and chardonnay, Gibbs and tact or... _Okay DiNozzo, think you might be a tad hysterical here. Oh crap! Pity? What the hell did I tell them?_

Even though Tony was staring at the nurse, his brain was actually cantering on at a million miles an hour. Imagining what he could have possibly said that would make Gibbs look at him like that. Like he was a weak, useless pile of crap, which was something he already knew but had hoped that his mentor never would. He remembered seeing a similar look on his father's face when he told him he would end up in the gutter. Tony was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't realise the nurse was talking to him.

"I'm sorry did you ask me something?" He asked, his innate politeness overriding his shock and despair.

Marion, who had mistaken his staring at her for recognition, smiled. "I said that I'm your nurse, and my name is Marion. But I can see that you already remember me from that Halloween night at St Francis's in New York, twenty-five years ago? I guess I should be flattered that you recognised me. I was hoping that I could apologise..."

His face froze in horror as he realised why Gibbs was now seeing him as a weak, pathetic victim and not his capable senior field agent anymore. His worst fears had come true and now this Marion person, looked at him and felt pity too. He searched Ducky's face and was relieved to find a calm acceptance, tinged with sadness but then he had probably always known. Those X-rays Ducky had taken when he had first started at NCIS, would have told their own story; he was a pre-eminent ME after all. Thankfully, Ducky had never forced Tony to answer questions and he never treated him as anything less than a competent and professional investigator.

He was almost too scared to look at Abby and see pity in her eyes too, like he saw when he looked at Gibbs. He didn't think he could hold himself together if she saw him as worthless or pathetic and yet he couldn't help himself. He had to look, even expecting the worst. To his undying relief, Abby seemed confused and maybe curious but mostly the same kind, supportive friend he had come to depend on. He vowed that no matter what, he would make sure that she was in his life, irrespective of where he ended up working.

Next chapter: Ducky takes charge and Darryl does some digging. Next chapter up soon!


	7. Chapter 7

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Don't own them blah blah blah...

A/N Sorry this took a little longer to get up than I intended. Again not beta'd so please excuse my mistakes. I do proof read but they still get by sigh

Thank-you to everyone that took the trouble to review last chapter including the guests. I really do appreciate the comments and feedback. As a new FF author it helps a great deal. Also thanks to those people who alerted. For those of you that picked up on the foreshadowing in the last chapter let me just say, that the promise will be fulfilled. :) Soon...

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 7

Ohmygod...ohmygod...ohmygod... he's going to kill me when he finds out; a part of his brain screamed at him, as Tony found himself in the middle of a full blown panic attack. Even though the three people who had welcomed him as family when he first joined NCIS were in the room, Tony had never felt more alone that he did right now. He couldn't stop the feeling of extreme terror that coursed through his body. His closely guarded secret had been shattered, in spite of his Herculean effort to bury it so deep that no one would ever know.

As his panic attack continued unabated, his blood pressure started rising again and his impaired lung function came into play. It impeded his ability to pull adequate reserves of oxygen into his lungs and he began to show signs of respiratory distress. Ducky immediately called for oxygen therapy to alleviate the dyspnoea, opting to use a non re-breather mask over a nasal cannula. He figured that Tony's scarred lungs, needed as much assistance as they could get. The medical examiner encouraged Tony to slow his breathing, take deep breaths and he spoke to him in measured calm tones, even though Ducky was dismayed at this new development. Clearly, Anthony hadn't recognised Marion at all. As he coached his patient and friend through the panic attack, the ME couldn't help but wonder why he had been staring at Marion so strangely.

As Tony's dyspnoea subsided, he collapsed back against his pillows, utterly exhausted and looking completely crushed. Ducky had breathed a sigh of relief, that the initial crisis seemed to be averted but glancing at Tony he could see his relief had been premature. The Anthony who lay before them, was bereft of his usual arsenal of self protection, simply too devastated to bother and fear pulled at Ducky's heart, to see such naked suffering. Ducky glanced at Abby, who stood hand over mouth, as she tried to make sense of what had just happened.

Fortunately, though for all her exuberance and prattle, the forensic scientist had enough nous to refrain from asking any questions. She simply went over and picked up his hand, although Tony himself remained unresponsive and seemingly oblivious to her presence. Ducky hoped that on some level, he was aware of Abby and if so, he knew that Anthony would be grateful for her being there. Goodness knows that he was grateful for her assistance too.

Meanwhile Ducky glanced at Gibbs and found to his shock that he actually looked scared. Granted, that Anthony's panic attack and resultant dyspnoea had been extremely distressing to witness. Still Ducky wasn't used to seeing the former Marine show his fear so openly or see him act so indecisively. Though, if there was any area where Jethro was grossly inept, it was dealing with his own or other peoples' emotions.

Many people who had seen Gibbs on a tear, ripping everyone a new one when a case was going badly, would disagree vehemently with the former part of that statement. Leastways, when it came to his darker emotions such as anger and frustration, Gibbs seemed to be more than adequately able to express himself. In fact, amongst his peers there was a long running joke that Leroy Jethro Gibbs was a synonym for instant gratification and an antonym for patience.

At least at the moment, Jethro seemed unsure how to proceed and for that, Ducky was eternally grateful because whatever Jethro did at this point, it would probably only inflame the situation. Unfortunately, while Ducky was aware of the potential danger from his de-facto family stepping in to attempt to 'fix' the situation, he sadly underestimated where the potential threat might come from. To be fair, Ducky had assumed that Marion was a very experienced nurse and would have the wherewithal, to back off.

That she would know without being told, to leave Tony and let him gain some much needed mental and emotional equilibrium. That he would need time to stabilise physically, too. He guessed though, that twenty five years of regrets, guilt and self loathing over rode her professional instincts; that in itself, was enough to show how much Tony's situation had affected her over the years.

Marion had moved up to Tony's bed and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Tony. I thought you remembered me. I just wanted to apologise to you, for not helping you all those years ago... she started as Tony lurched away from her violently and tried to climb out of the bed. In the process, he pulled out his IV line and he began hyperventilating. Ducky shot an urgent glare at Gibbs and barked out in doctor mode.

"Gibbs, get her out of here NOW. Marion, get me another nurse in here, Stat!"

Then he enveloped the shattered man in a restraining hug, to prevent him doing further damage. Abby mobilised as well. Hugging both of them, she started murmuring softly into Tony's ear and on some level, beside the primitive animalistic desire to flee from disaster, he began to respond. Slowly, he ceased to struggle and went limp, in their arms. When Abby and Ducky released him, he scooted down into the bed; somehow managing to fold in on himself before he started to rhythmically rock back and forth.

It was distressing to watch and Ducky was reminded of unfortunate animals in zoos that were so traumatised by their existence, that the stereotypic behaviour became their self coping mechanism. He had frequently seen the same behaviour in individuals with Autistic Spectrum disorders, when they were completely overwhelmed by a world that they couldn't process. In each case, Ducky could see parallels to Tony's behaviour.

A young, Indian nurse arrived to start a new intravenous line and hook up his drip again. Normally, Tony's needle phobia made establishing a catheter an unpleasant ordeal for patient and nurse but this time around, he seemed to be pretty much insensate to the procedure. Abby, while relinquishing her hold on her friend, had maintained a constant stream of comforting words and once again, Ducky was grateful that Abby was here to help her friend.

Ducky glanced at her and could see the questions and mental gymnastics in her eyes but thankfully, she knew that it wasn't the time or place for them to be answered. He spoke softly, "My dear, I must step out for a minute or two to attend to something. Will you be alright until I return?"

She nodded silently, her green eyes limpid-like with unshed tears. He patted her shoulder fondly before heading out the door, to find Gibbs guarding the entrance, preventing a devastated Marion from re-entering Tony's room. Ducky was not without empathy for her, in her situation but his priority as a doctor and as a friend, was to the man in the bed who was now, scarcely able to hold himself together. Time enough for him to offer tea and sympathy to those people who had been wounded by the fallout, later.

"Marion, I think under the circumstances, that it would be in everyone's best interest if you assigned a new nurse, to take care of Anthony for the remainder of the shift. I would suggest, the young lady who placed the new catheter line, just now. She seems very competent and Anthony responded well to her. That is to say, he didn't actual react at all, so I think that it would be the prudent stratagem." Although he had expressed his opinion in the form of a request, the experienced nurse was in no doubt that he would confer with Tony's attending if necessary.

"Yes Doctor Mallard, I agree." Marion hurried away to organise the change in personnel.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Assistant Chief Darryl Amos shucked off his coat and threw it across the chair, in the darkened hallway. He grabbed a bottle of beer out of his fridge and crossed into his spare room, which he had set up as an office. He hated coming home to an empty house, even though it had been some years since his wife Shandra had divorced him. They'd tried to make a go of it, after losing Matt but being together, just served as a constant reminder of what they had lost. Instead of bringing them together, their pain and loss had made them strike out at each other, until finally there was nothing left of their union, to fight for anymore.

He sighed deeply, as he sat down at his desk and glanced at his watch. It was late but knowing the Chief, he was still up working on his press statement. He reached for his phone, to let Camden know that everything was set for the morning. He also wanted to give him the heads up on what had gone down at the hospital. He was pretty sure that The NCIS Director would be putting in a complaint about him tonight. Not that he gave a crap.

Something about the young agent tonight, had struck a chord with the veteran cop. Amos wasn't sure what it was exactly, that had clicked. Perhaps it was the evident deference and respect he had demonstrated for the badge tonight and his use of the term Sir, which illustrated that he hadn't forgotten his roots. Perhaps it was his awesome abilities and unassuming nature when it came to accepting recognition of a job well done. But Darryl knew in his heart of hearts, that wasn't the real reason. Tony's irreverent, cheeky attitude reminded him, of his son Matt and he realised yet again, just how much he missed his only child.

He was such a talented young man, the life of the party type with so many friends, yet no one, not even his parents realised that he was deeply troubled. They didn't know that the so called 'black dog of depression,' pursued their son with a relentlessness that wouldn't let go. He'd detailed his struggle, in a heart rendering journal that had been discovered far too late, after he had taken his own life.

Darryl wished there had been some hint that his son was desperate and he supposed that when he saw the gifted, special agent tonight at the hospital, who clearly used humour as a defense mechanism, it reminded him of Matt. Tony, who seemed so defeated and alone, looked as if he could do with someone to watch his back and befriend him. Darryl couldn't go back and save his beloved son but he could reach out and help a fellow cop, who was troubled. It was the sort of legacy that Matthew Amos would have definitely approved of.

Darryl punched in the familiar number of his boss and wasn't surprised when a clipped "Jack Camden," answered his phone after only two rings.

"Hey Chief it's Amos. Hope I didn't wake you." Hearing the snort he grinned, knowing that his first guess was the right one. "Just thought I'd let you know that it's all set for the press conference, in the morning. Director Vance will be there for ten o'clock and I've personally interviewed all four witnesses and Special Agent DiNozzo. While we obviously have to wait for the IA report, in my opinion it will be fine. It was definitely a righteous shoot, Sir."

"How is our erstwhile hero, Darryl?" Chief Camden asked.

Darryl sighed. "He will be fine Chief. The bullet didn't cause any major damage, so he was pretty damned lucky."

"But, Darryl? Judging by the sigh, there is a but?"

"Yes Sir. He seems to have lost his mojo Chief. He thinks he screwed up tonight and was expecting his Director to can him or send him off to sea. Which I gotta say, seems a bit anachronistic to me." Amos fumed. "Don't think that his people are doing a great job of watching his back. So I offered him a job and said you would be making it formal."

"I don't suppose that you made the offer in private did you Darryl?" Jack Camden asked dryly. Darryl chuckled because his boss knew his Assistant Chief, all too well and how protective he was, when it came to looking after his men.

"Yeah about that Chief, you better expect a complaint tomorrow from Director Vance. The guy is a real arrogant, stupid pri..."

"I get the message Darryl," his Chief interrupted him." You didn't by any chance share your assessment of Director Vance's character, did you?" Amos could hear Jack Camden holding his breath.

"Not in those exact words Chief, but I may have subtly insinuated that he was a fool, who didn't appreciate what an asset he had in his agent. Ya know, the cold-blooded bastard didn't even ask Tony how he was doing or tell him he had done them proud. He had it coming, Sir." Amos replied, non repentant.

"Sounds like a typical Fed to me Darryl," Chief Camden joked trying to lighten the mood.

"Darryl gave another small chuckle. " Was wondering if you had any contacts at NCIS that I could talk to Sir?" he asked, knowing full well Jack Camden was one of the most connected individuals in the city. Which might go some way, to explain how he ended up as the Chief of Police.

"See what I can do Darryl. Get some sleep."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ducky was relieved to see that the dreadful rocking had ceased when he entered the room, again. Anthony had his head resting in Abby's lap, as she perched alarmingly on the narrow hospital bed. His eyes were closed and although his breathing was still somewhat irregular, he appeared to be sleeping. Ducky looked askance at the young woman on the bed and she responded by placing a finger up to her lips in the universally understood gesture of silence, before glancing down worriedly at her friend. She looked across at Gibbs before signing and if Ducky was a betting man, he would wager that she was asking what was going on. Judging by the short response elicited by Jethro he had put her off, because he wasn't up to talking, even with his hands.

Next Chapter: Tony unburdens himself just a little to Ducky, while at the same time pushing Gibbs away and Darryl digs deeper.


	8. Chapter 8

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters except Darryl and Marion and not gaining any financial advantage.

A/N Once again, thanks to those faithful people who take the time to leave me a review. I really do appreciate all the comments and for those people who are guests and I can't thank by PM, thanks a whole bunch. Once again this chapter isn't beta'd so please excuse any mistakes that have slipped through.

A very special thank you to AlexDN for providing her encyclopaedic knowledge of NCIS canon and lore to assist me in writing this chapter. Without her, it would have taken much longer to upload because I needed to set up something, to work in with the next chapter, which I had written previously. And speaking of the next chapter, that foreshadowing that occurred previously in chapter 5 is about to unfold.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 8

Gibbs listened to the sound of silence as his friends sat quietly, lost in their own thoughts. Apart from DiNozzo who was still lost in the embrace of Morpheus, although he didn't seem to be particularly safe there. His REM sleep indicated that he was most likely dreaming and Gibbs didn't want to think about what it was, that he was dreaming about. The whole situation tonight had been totally FUBAR and it didn't look as if it was going to get better any time soon.

The young replacement nurse had come in to check that everything was okay and introduced herself as Nurse Rakkhi. She looked rather nervous, as she glanced at Ducky and Gibbs and he wondered if Marion had given her a heads up. Usually Ducky wasn't exactly a scary figure but Gibbs had to admit that when he had swept into doctor mode, he had been extremely intimidating. Even he was impressed, by Ducky's take charge attitude and he hadn't hesitated to order Gibb's around either. Something, that didn't happen to him, all that often, at least not since he became a special agent. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of the ballsy medical examiner.

Apart from Duck's protective mother hen episode, there hadn't been a whole lot to smile about tonight. It was typical DiNozzo that he would find himself in a situation where he chose to use his body to protect others and Gibbs was just grateful that he had gotten out of such a tough situation without being more seriously wounded. Gibbs reckoned that DiNozzo's opinion of Halloween wasn't going to improve following this fiasco, especially after running into Marion.

Sure he'd known about DiNozzo's aversion to the holiday. Working with him for so long, you'd have to be a pet rock not to notice. While he always seemed to withdraw into himself on family holidays, Halloween was definitely the worst. DiNozzo was both withdrawn and cranky and while Gibbs had seen him lose his temper several times and so he knew that he actually possessed a bad one, Tony always went to great trouble to conceal it. At least, he now got the reason why his senior field agent was so off balance at Halloween. Without doubt some of it must be because of his horrific injury as a child. Gibbs really couldn't blame him for feeling that way.

What he really didn't get, was why Tony was so upset at seeing Marion again or why he would lie about his injury. Why the hell would he deny that his father hurt him? Didn't he know that Gibbs always had his six after all this time? He thought that after they worked together for eight years, DoNozzo would be able to trust his partner and confide in him. Yet he had freaked out and Gibbs hated to admit it but DiNozzo had pretty much scared the crap out of him.

He knew that trust was a big issue with DiNozzo. He'd worked hard the first few years to build trust in his agent. Why the hell was he so terrified to let him in then, all of a sudden? Why couldn't he share his terrible childhood with his partner? Damn it, he was an infuriating guy. So easy going on the surface but underneath it all, he was way too deep and so full of darkness that it sometimes made Gibbs feel like a perky blonde weather girl on a morning breakfast show, by comparison. And no one had ever accused him of being perky, either!

He still didn't understand what was going on with his senior field agent. He had been off even before Marion had jumped to the wrong conclusion. That exchange with Vance had been downright weird too. Not to mention that damned cop who seemed to have decided to lure DiNozzo away from his team. It had been quite a shock to be told by a stranger, that DiNozzo was being actively headhunted and he'd never even mentioned it.

He decided it might be about time to take DiNozzo into the gym for some unarmed, combat training after he recovered from his latest GSW. Then maybe a follow-up visit to the basement for a make-at session with a bottle of Jack. See if he could get Tony to spill his guts. Gibbs knew that there was something off balance about the agent, had been ever since he got back after his stint as Agent Afloat. He had been stilted and somehow askew and it made Gibbs antsy. He wanted things to return to normal.

He also needed to find out why DiNozzo was thinking of leaving although surely, he couldn't be serious after all the hassle Gibbs had had getting the team reformed. Most especially, one Very Special Agent DiNozzo back again, because Vance was so not a fan of the unorthodox agent. God damn it, he felt like giving him the mother of all Gibbs' slaps, to get him back with the program.

He decided that he would confront the issue with his senior field agent when he was awake because, he wasn't ever one to let an issue fester. Nor did he want that jumped up cop to come along and steal away his best damned agent either. Not after all the effort he'd put into breaking him in. Although there was a small voice inside his head, that whispered that what really scared him was if he lost DiNozzo, there wouldn't be anyone else who would take his crap or tolerate his bad temper and still be such an effective second.

Meanwhile his plotting was interrupted by DiNozzo, as he groaned and started to wake up. As he opened heavy lidded green eyes, he was saw Abby trying to smile brightly at him and failing miserably. He seemed to become aware of the ceiling and white walls and cast his eyes around the room. He searched Ducky's face for the longest time before turning an intense stare at Gibbs without saying a word, before dropping his eyes and closing off his expression.

He glanced back up at Ducky and asked softly. "You know don't you? About St Francis's, it wasn't a nightmare was it?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Marion scrolled through her address book to find the phone number for Dana. There had been a time when she had Dana's number memorised before she programmed it into her speed dial. After she updated her phone, Marion decided that she was doing better and didn't need to have her sponsor on speed dial any more. Tonight she was really regretting that decision.

Finally despite her shaking hands, she managed to make the call, knowing that Dana was probably already asleep. She also knew that Dana would kick her butt if she didn't call her when she was so stressed out. Marion had been sober for almost ten years now, but as she constantly had to remind herself... once a drug addict always a drug addict. As an addict, she was in a high risk job and it had taken her years before she was able to be trusted by her employers, to be able to administer controlled substances, again. Even then, there were various extra protocols in place to safeguard against her being tempted to steal opioid based drugs.

In terms of her addiction, working in a hospital as a nurse was certainly much more challenging. Not just because there was the constant temptation from a ready supply of morphine but also because of the pain and suffering she encountered. It would be like an alcoholic working as a bartender, tempted continually by alcohol and being the agony aunt for people who were deeply troubled. The truth was though, that being a nurse wasn't just a job to Marion, it was her vocation. It was also her way of helping to make amends for what she hadn't done so long ago.

Dana answered her phone just before it had rang out and by her sleepy voice; Marion could tell that she had been sleeping. Feeling guilty about waking her sponsor, she hesitated and the narcotics anonymous sponsor heard a hitch in the caller's breathing and made one of the quantum leaps she was renowned for.

"Marion, is that you? Talk to me girl. What's up?"

"Hey Dana, sorry I woke you. He's here," she managed to force out between clenched teeth.

"Dana might have flashes of brilliance but after being woken up from a deep sleep, she was far from feeling her most insightful. "Who's there Ri?" she questioned her friend because after so many years their relationship had evolved.

"Him! You know... I can't tell you his name but he's here as a patient after all this time... and he is my patient ... well he was... I had to swap him for Rakkhi's patient and it's my fault... I upset him!"

The NA sponsor was still having trouble following the thread of the conversation but she knew that Marion was very upset and that was really all that mattered, right now. "Okay Ri, breathe deeply. You know the score... in through the nose and out through the mouth."

She continued to coach her charge through a relaxation exercise via the phone and notice with satisfaction that Marion's breath was now slow and measured. Okay girl; let's meet up in the morning for breakfast when your shift ends. Then we can go on to a meeting together. You gonna be okay til then or you want me to come down there now? "

Marion sighed in relief at the calming tones of her sponsor. "I think I am okay, Dana... thanks for talking me through it. I'll call if I need you. Sorry to disturb you."

"You know damn well that I would have drop kicked you into the next state if you hadn't called me, right?" Her friend teased her but with a touch of iron in her tone that let Marion know, that she had made the right decision. She appreciated her sponsor's support but she did know from experience, that Dana wouldn't hesitate to whoop her butt if necessary.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ducky looked searchingly at the young man he had come to think of as one of his family and knew that he couldn't lie to him, even if it was possible to do so. Anthony was a pretty good human lie detector and if there was one thing that would rankle at this stage, it was if Ducky tried to conceal something from him. After his reverie, contemplating the situation while Anthony slept, he had concluded that they had unintentionally given the game away. The lad was far too good at reading them all.

Although the rest seemed to have had remarkable restorative effects upon him, Ducky observed the flat affect in his speech. The medical examiner realised that Anthony was using his superlative acting ability but he was still teetering on the edge and so he would have to tread carefully. He weighed up how much to reveal.

Ducky looked him straight in the eyes and smiled very gently. "Jethro and I both know about your time in St Francis's my boy. Abby was here with you, while we talked to your nurse."

Tony's lips thinned and the clenched jaw and fisted hands, clued Ducky in that he was fighting to stay in control, as did the changes in pulse, respiration and blood pressure. Ducky was also aware of Anthony's fiery temper that he usually managed to conceal from his workmates. He had witnessed it just a few weeks again in Autopsy when he had unleashed it in front of Gibbs and himself after the war game debacle. Although he didn't think that Gibbs was aware of just how furious his SFA had actually been. Anthony's anger had been frighteningly, frigid in its intensity. Somehow Ducky found it even more menacing than red-hot, explosive anger, though.

"Um... isn't that unethical Ducky for her to talk about a patient without their permission?"

"Indeed it is Anthony but well... Marion was dealing with a lot of guilt and when she recognised your name, she needed someone to talk to," Ducky said cautiously. He could see that it didn't cut much ice with his friend and truthfully, he was right to feel betrayed.

Before he could explore the topic further, Gibbs approached the bed and gazed at the senior field agent. "What is going on with you DiNozzo?" he asked gently.

Tony glared at him briefly but ignored the question.

The team lead didn't take the hint, although he softened his expression and his tone even more, before trying again. "Why didn't you tell us about your father? I thought we were partners."

DiNozzo fisted his hands so hard that his knuckles turned white. "Just leave it, Gibbs."

"Okay then, can you at least tell me why you want to leave the team? I fought like hell to get you back home again?" Gibbs was using his sympathetic questioning of the victim approach and it clearly was only making a bad situation, worse.

Ducky saw the hurt and defeat on Anthony's face. "Please Ducky; I can't do this with him, right now."

Ducky watched the drama unfold, worried at where the interchange was headed. Gibbs wasn't used to Tony ignoring him, let alone pushing him away so blatantly. Ducky shot him a glare that said _'shut up right now, Jethro' _but the drama and angst of the night had been too much for the functional mute. He wasn't accustomed to his senior field agent simply ignoring his requests. Anthony was usually much more adept in avoiding Gibbs requests to divulge information but with his defences so low, he didn't have the energy to deflect Gibbs. All he could do was stonewall Gibbs and Jethro didn't like it, one little bit.

"Just go Gibbs." Tony glared at his boss and Ducky bit his lip. Things were bad when Anthony opted to use Gibbs' name rather than the affectionate salutation 'Boss'. He hurried to Gibbs side to escort him out of the room before he said anything else, that would further damage a bad situation.

Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough. Jethro was angry that he was being shut out, not seeing a parallel to his own behaviour and desire for obsessive privacy. Although when it came Anthony his attitude was always 'do as I say, not as I do.' He also ended up lashing out when he was angry, frustrated or god forbid, afraid and damn the consequences.

While he was leading him out of the room, he flung out over his shoulder, "I guess I should have just left you on the damned Seahawk, DiNozzo."

Ducky leaned across and murmured in is old friend's ear. "Jethro, for goodness sake shut that damned mouth before I punch you and make you."

Out in the hallway, Ducky turned to Jethro and demanded, "What the hell did you think you were doing in there? That boy is barely holding it together and you saw earlier that he wasn't even able to do that. What made you decide it was appropriate to interrogate him Jethro? Why?"

"Was mad, Ducky. And I don't want to lose him"

"Well that makes so much sense Jethro, You don't want to lose him, so you try and make him talk and when he won't, you get angry and tell him you made a mistake in bringing him back onto the team. On what planet does that make any sense at all? You know how upset he was to be sent away and you basically just told him that you wished he was still there. Why would he want to stay, after hearing that?"

Gibbs opened his mouth to answer and yet he remained silent.

Ducky, never one to find himself short of something to say continued. "You were in the room when he went into respiratory distress, I believe and you also heard what that contemptible man did to him? So because you had no one to take your anger out on and when he pushed you away just now because he is hurt, your feeling were injured. So what; you decide to focus your fury on the victim? Smart my friend."

I couldn't help it Duck. I was so angry."

"Pathetic Jethro! If one of your team offered that excuse for their behaviour; you wouldn't just tear them a new one, you would rip their entrails out and eat them for lunch, while you forced them to watch."

Gibbs groaned, obviously realising how big of a stuff up he had made tonight. "Let me talk to him Duck, make him understand, I didn't mean to upset him. I gotta make things right."

"I think that you have said enough for one evening, my friend. I'll send Abby out to take a coffee break while I try to calm things down."

The medical examiner disappeared into Tony's room and true to his word, the forensic scientist took a much needed caffeine break so that Ducky could talk to Tony in peace. He finally emerged again after nearly an hour, feeling terribly weary.

Gibbs stood up and hurried over to the door. "Can I see him now Duck? We've got stuff we need to deal with."

"No you can't, Jethro. Anthony has requested that you respect his wishes, as he doesn't want to talk to you right now. And yes you do have 'stuff' as you put it that needs discussing." Ducky told him gently, expecting a protest and he wasn't disappointed.

"Why the hell can't I see my agent? He talked to you didn't he? What the devil did I do, to get him so bent out of shape? Why won't he talk to me, if he talks to you? I'm his partner and his friend. What is going on Duck? Stop tap dancing around and give it to me straight."

Ducky viewed his old friend with frustration. He had promised Anthony that he would try and get Gibbs to back off and give him some space; to try to deal with everything that had happened tonight. He also promised to run interference with Marion until Anthony was ready to talk to her too; although he knew that the second promise would be a piece of cake to uphold in comparison to thwarting Jethro's attempts to get to Anthony. Ducky sighed, knowing that the time had come to share some painful home truths with his friend but he wished he felt more sanguine about the outcome. Still a promise was a promise and he would do what he could, to protect Anthony.

"Well Jethro, if you really must discuss this now, then come home with me. I have to go and relieve Mother's nurse who has stayed late. We can have that talk, if you insist and also grab a few hours sleep. I for one, am fading fast. He glanced over at Abigail and gave an exaggerated wink.

"I'm sure our dear Abigail will stay here with Anthony. She has been such a wonderful assistance tonight." He opened his arms in invitation and when Abby loped into them for a much needed hug, he whispered in her ear. "Don't push him to talk; he is under too much pressure already. Just be there for him, my dear."

"Don't worry Ducky; I'll take good care of him." She went and hugged Gibbs too and disappeared silently, back into Tony's hospital room.

Next chapter: Ah the main course. Ducky sits Gibbs down and tells him a thing or two.


	9. Chapter 9

Rating: T

Disclaimer: You know the drill, they don't belong to me and I'm not making money.

Thanks for the reviews people especially the guest reviews that I can only thank in author notes. Thanks to all those individuals that alerted and favourited too. Again, this story is unbeta'd so you'll have to forgive any mistakes or proof the next chapter LOL.

The next few chapters are going to feature Gibbs and Ducky as they have the long awaited talk. Enjoy!

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 9

Ducky sat down on his comfy, well loved chesterfield lounge and stared across at his old friend, sitting in his rich brown, leather wing chair. The flames from the newly started fire danced and crackled, as the open fire bathed the room in a gentle glow. In Gibbs' hand was a lead-cut, crystal glass containing a generous measure of bourbon. A far cry from the usual dusty mason jars that housed various bits and bobs, screws and nails, which Gibbs routinely used to drink his beloved bourbon out of. Ducky, meanwhile nursed a balloon glass of his favourite single malt Glenfiddich Scotch, as he regarded Gibbs dispassionately. He couldn't help but wonder how this would play out.

"Are you certain that you want to have this conversation Jethro?" he asked his friend seriously. He wasn't convinced that this was such a good ideal but on the other hand, he had promised Anthony he would try and get Jethro to back off. So perhaps it was best that Gibbs heard him out, since he had wanted to know why Anthony refused to talk to him about his Halloween revelations. Ducky understood that Jethro was hurt and feeling more than a tad jealous, that Anthony had at least agreed to discuss the incident albeit it, briefly with him; even if he didn't say much.

Gibbs gulped down almost half of his Jack before glaring at the medical examiner." Said I did Duck. What's ya problem?"

Ducky sighed. "No problem, Jethro but I just want to be sure that you know what you're doing. I am reminded of the phrase 'be careful what you wish for – lest you receive it' or some erudite individuals, claim that the second half of the quote is, 'lest it come true' though the phrase is sometime attributed to..."

"Duck, I don't really care who coined the damned phrase. And yeah, I do want to know what the hell is going on with DiNozzo. Why will he talk to you and freeze me out? What the hell did I ever do? And why the hell is he thinking of leaving, after I busted my butt getting him back from that damned ship!"

The irrepressible medical examiner sipped his scotch and sighed, knowing that much of this conversation was long overdue but he had to wonder if his friend was really, ready to listen. "Fine Jethro, just don't blame me if you don't like some of what you hear." He paused wondering where on earth to start.

"Well let's start with why he talked with me tonight and refused to discuss what we discovered, with you. That is an easy one to start this long overdue discussion but if we are going to have this conversation Jethro, it will be on the proviso that I talk and you listen. When I'm finished you get to talk and I'll listen. Are we clear on the ground rules? Even if you don't like what you hear, once we start this discussion, we proceed until we're done and before you ask, I will determine when we have finished. Not you, when you've reached your tolerance level. Agreed?" he asked while giving Gibbs the gimlet eye.

"Yeah Duck, sure...whatever. Can ya hurry it up so we can get back to the hospital? I don't want to leave Abby alone for too long." Gibbs swirled the remains of his liquor around in the glass and watched the prismatic light sparkle off the crystal, before he took another generous gulp of his drink.

"Fine Jethro, have it your way. Don't say I didn't warn you, though. Anthony talks to me, at times because I never push him. When he tells me something personal, I don't exhort him to tell me more. If I pushed him, tried to make him tell me more than he was ready to, he would close up and stop telling me anything.

You, Gibbs have to know every last little detail and every facet of what is bothering him. You're like a bloodhound following a scent. If you suspect that Anthony is keeping secrets from you, then you won't rest until you have ferreted out every last detail. You goad him, you ply him with rot gu... er bourbon, you demand that he tell you things that he feels impelled to keep secret. You attempt to strip Anthony of every bit of the armour that he tries to protect himself with." Ducky glanced at his friend, to see how he was dealing with what he had said.

"Yeah Duck, what of it? It's what makes me... me. My team, my rules."

"Well Gibbs, it doesn't work on Anthony. How would you like it if Director Vance insisted that you in your parlance, spill your guts about your most private pain and secrets. Made you talk about Shannon and Kelly for example. What if he wouldn't rest until he had gutted you like a fish?"

Gibbs scowled. "Never going happen Ducky. I've been tortured by experts."

Ducky smiled sadly. "So has our Anthony and he has a very high thresh hold of pain too, easily equal to yours. Unfortunately you have some unique psychological attributes that make him even more guarded, around you because you know his weaknesses and he knows it too. If you don't respect his boundaries, you will lose him forever. For Anthony, his secrets are as important a method of self preservation, as his kevlar vest and sig saur. And you want to strip him of that, disarm him so to speak."

"I can't believe this Duck! You're constantly lecturing me about be more open with my feelings. How the hell can you be such a hypocrite?" Gibbs spewed out in disbelief.

"Ah yes but do I hold you down and force you to tell me? Do I wait until you're caffeine deprived and exhausted and then berate you until you break? Do I try and hypnotise you or play emotion cards against you because I know your weaknesses too?" Ducky paused before continuing.

I'm not saying that Anthony keeping hold of the things he does, is good for him. But forcing the lad to reveal himself, will cause far more harm than good. He tells me things occasionally and I hope that as I build up credit in the trust department, he will someday be able to unburden himself completely. Until then, I will show restraint, even though I long to take away the gigantic albatross, that he lugs around on his shoulders all the time.

"Can't help myself, Duck. It hurts me when he hides away from me... Just want to help him!"

His friend exploded. "Good God Almighty, Jethro! I'm a doctor, a healer if you will. Do you think that I like seeing him in so much pain all the time? Don't you think I would do anything at all, to help him too? It isn't that simple and you have no idea what you are dealing with, even after tonight."

"Why not?"

Duck searched for a way to explain that wouldn't betray any of Anthony's confidences. "Because Jethro, identity is an extremely complex organism and we are still trying to understand it, let alone learn how to repair it when it is damaged. If Anthony had a malignant tumour that had invaded most of his body and it needed to be surgically excised... er cut out, you would have to proceed slowly, a bit at a time.

If you tried to remove the tumour and all the secondaries simultaneously, you would probably kill him in the process. The shock would be far too traumatic to withstand and if by some miracle he did survive, he would be so debilitated that his quality of life would be greatly diminished." He glanced at Gibbs to see if he had understood what Ducky was saying.

Gibbs frowned. "Ya saying that he is riddled with a lota crap. I'll grant ya that, I guess. That if it all comes out, it could kill him?' he asked skeptically. "People don't die when they spill their guts, do they?

'Jethro, we both know that the face he presents to the world isn't the one that reflects the real man. The trouble is that he has so any faces, that sometime even he gets confused about who he really is. He is always very delicate, whenever he has to drop a persona that he has carefully constructed, for an undercover mission and it takes him a while to take up his Very Special Agent identity again. There is a point where he is neither one nor the other and that makes him feel extremely vulnerable."

Ducky thought back to a time when he had found Tony confused and depressed at the end of the mission with the serial killer Jeffrey White. He had been sent under cover, without them knowing that White liked to slash people's throats and he had unknowingly befriended a killer, then been forced to kill him, to save his own life. He also remembered how difficult it had truly been, for Anthony to cast off his Tony DiNardo persona, including having to let his lover Jeanne Benoit go. Ducky was not convinced that he had yet successfully cast aside, that particular identity fully.

Ducky stood up and decided that a little positive reinforcement was in order, as Jethro had been playing nice. So he refilled Gibbs glass with bourbon and he decided to that he would indulge in a small Glenfiddich too. He knew that they had only scratched the surface of the conversation that needed to be had. So far it had gone well, but it had been pretty easy stuff to hear. He couldn't begin to predict how Jethro was going to react when they got into the hard stuff. He sighed, before sinking back down in the leather lounge.

Gibbs nodded his thanks and took another long swallow before commencing the conversation again. "I kinda see where ya going. He's off after an undercover op. Needs space!"

Ducky smiled softly. "He also needs some TLC too and a friend to call by, with his favourite pizza."

Gibbs' spluttered as his bourbon went down the wrong way. "He told ya?"

The medical examiner chuckled softly. "Don't worry Jethro, your secret is safe with me. I won't tell anyone, that underneath the bastard with two Bs beats the heat of big softie."

"Jethro, if you had a dog that you rescued from the shelter, one that had been mistreated and abused by his previous master, a dog that wouldn't even let you get up close to it, what would you do?"

Gibbs smirked. This was a topic he understood. "I'd work on earning his trust Duck. I'd take a book and a thermos of coffee and I'd sit in the enclosure and I'd ignore him. I'd find out what his favourite food was and I'd toss him lots of small pieces til he started getting used to me. I'd build his trust."

"So why not corner him and slap a collar on the beast and drag him to the car. Because you are bigger and stronger, you could just make him get into the car and take him home?"

Gibbs scowled because he knew that he had just been sucker punched by Ducky. "You know as well as I do. It would destroy any chance of him being able to trust me, Duck. But we're not talking 'bout an abandoned dog who doesn't know or trust me. We're talking about DiNozzo here, Duck. He trusts me. I've had his six for almost eight years now."

"Ducky stared at him for the longest time without speaking before uttering two words. "Does he?"

He stood up and headed towards the kitchen, deciding that it was the perfect opportunity to let Jethro stew on that for a while. Ducky was tired and felt like it was time to get some much needed calories into both of them. This was a marathon, not a sprint and they both needed some food onboard. Despite the fact that it was the middle of the night, he was suddenly starving, He decided to heat up some soup and make some toasted sandwiches. He also decided to reward Gibbs with some coffee and turned the machine on, filled the water tank and loaded the coffee.

He called out to his mute friend, "Coffee and some food Jethro?"

Gibbs appeared in the doorway. "Sure Duck, sounds good." He seemed to realise that by mutual agreement their conversation had been suspended while they ate. "I should probably give Abby a call, tell her not to expect us for a while yet."

Ducky nodded approval, glad that Gibbs seemed to realised, that they weren't done yet. It surprised him and he hoped that Gibbs was questioning his little bomb he had deliberately dropped into the conversation. Hopefully, it would make the next stage of this talk a little easier to broach.

"Maybe I should send her a text message Jethro. That way if she is curled up beside Anthony asleep, then we won't disturb them." Gibbs nodded his assent, so Ducky sent off a text then set two steaming bowls of soup on the table and an assortment of toasted sandwiches, including roast beef and horseradish and cheese, tomato and ham. While they ate, the two men discussed the latest case Balboa's team had been assigned and how his newest probie, had accidentally locked himself in the holding cell with the suspect.

Next chapter: Ducky bowls a maiden over and then hits Gibbs for six. (Excuse the cricketing analogy but Ducky enjoys the game, as do I.)


	10. Chapter 10

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I think that everyone gets it by now.

A/N Thanks to everyone who reviewed including the guests. I appreciate everyone who leaves feedback and I encourage lurkers to leave their comments. Thanks for the alerts and favs too. This story is not beta'd and while I do proof read before posting, things do unfortunately slip through, so apologies in advance.

The next chapter will take a short break in the Ducky and Gibbs confrontation for story flow and balance but rest assured that Ducky still has plenty left to say. He may have been slow to get going but he has definitely gotten his second wind. Oh and content in this chapter is pretty much straight up canon with a little bit of creative license, for example the details about FLETC. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

Halloween Remembrances

Chapter 10

When they were done and the dishes were loaded into the dishwasher, Ducky refilled Gibbs' mug with more black coffee that was strong enough to strip paint; just the way he liked it. Ducky shuddered, not wanting to consider what it was doing to Jethro's gastrointestinal tract. By mutual assent, they returned to Ducky's cosy sitting room and assumed their former positions, after Ducky tended the fire.

The Scottish born medical examiner sat impassively, eyeing his friend and waited for him to pick up the conversational slack. Gibbs sighed and Duck knew that this was extremely difficult for him. Three ex-wives would attest to that and Ducky was having trouble believing it was even happening, it seemed totally surreal. Finally he provided the opening salvo/

"So Ducky, ya trying to tell me DiNozzo doesn't trust me?"

"What do you think, Jethro?"

"He trusts me to watch his six Duck. I haven't let him down. Always been there for him but you obviously don't agree." Gibbs glared at his old friend. "What did he tell ya?"

Ducky stared at him. "If Anthony had said anything, I wouldn't betray that confidence but I will share my own observations and suspicions with you. I do think that when it comes to watching his six in the field he trusts you implicitly but not so much in the bullpen any more. Oh not your profession opinions... I'm talking about you having his back and while he used to trust you to watch his six as a friend... well I'm afraid you have well and truly lost that trust a while ago. He's felt alone for some time now."

Ducky took a breath and waited for the explosion and they hadn't even got to the really big one yet. He wasn't disappointed.

"What the crap ya taking about, Duck? I always have his back, professionally and in every other way too."

"Gibbs, you know as well as I do, that the only reason he joined NCIS was because his partner betrayed his trust. He placed his trust in you and followed you back here and found a family with you, Abigail and I. You became his mentor and in some ways you became almost like a father to him. As much as he could let anyone be. He looked up to you and a part of him still does and he longs to win your approval, even though he now despises his weakness in needing it. But you HAVE hurt him over the years. The sad thing is that you did it and didn't even seem to realise what you'd done."

"Ya gonna have to give me some concrete examples here Duck, cuz I'm drowning."

"Alright then Gibbs, let me lay it out for you. When it was just the two of you, Anthony was your partner and although it was a mentor and protégé relationship, it was much more equitable. He was a mature investigator who had confidence in his skills and his place watching your six. Then after Caitlyn and Timothy joined the team, your relationship changed. Your damned management strategy, making your agents compete against each other to win brownie points and earn your approval, believing it increases team effectiveness; well it shifted the dynamic back to him being much more subordinate.

Apart from that, it is simply a pile of horse hockey, as management theories go, as any organisational psychologist or human resources expert can attest! You forced him to compete alongside the junior agents and he reacted by becoming more juvenile and insecure as he tried to get you attention, even if he couldn't win your approval or respect."

That's crap Duck! DiNozzo's my second in command and I don't trust anyone else to watch my six like he does."

"That may be Jethro, but have you told him that? More importantly, have you told the team that, in word or deed because that's not what I see and it isn't what they see either. And as to him being your SFA, sure he does all the scutt work plus a heap of your paper work too if I know you, and don't forget that I do know you... But you don't treat him with the respect that he deserves...with the respect he's earned.

"So the junior members of the team have no respect for him or the chain of command, if it comes down to it. They ignore his directives, they don't think he deserves his position and they argue, when he gives them direct orders. I've heard them in the field, personally. Timothy makes it plain he is much smarter and Ziva is probably worse than Caitlyn was, when it comes to ignoring the chain of command... and the worst thing about it all is, that he has started to doubt himself."

"Then when you retired to Mexico, the chain of command issue just snowballed because they didn't think he deserved to be the senior field agent and they definitely didn't think he could replace you as supervisory team leader. Which they told him, at every opportunity and they fought him every step of the way. They were angry that you abandoned them all and they took out their anger on Anthony."

"They were insubordinate and arrogant and they wouldn't follow orders and because he understood all too well what it means to be abandoned because it isn't his first time, he let all of them get away with it. Especially young Abigail, who should have known better and they all used him as a human punching bag. Goodness knows, he was used to being yours' for so long, but Jethro he was hurting worse than the rest of them put together. And why? Because his mentor, his father- substitute had walked away from him and left him, without any support. Just like his biological father did, when he sent him away and told him he would end up in the gutter. You left him with a less than glowing endorsement, that everybody in the bull pen interpreted as being that you thought he was inferior slops."

"Ducky saw that Gibbs was about to interrupt and he held up his hand. "Oh I know, Jethro that it wasn't your intention to suggest that he was the best of a bad bunch but simply your pathetically, woeful inability, to give him honest praise when it's due. And our young friend would have known it too, once upon a time, before he began to buy into the team philosophy that he was a mediocre agent at best, who gained his promotion by longevity alone.

When he lost you, he did what he thought would make you proud. He held the team together, even though he didn't have their support. He held Abigail together despite her constantly telling him he wasn't you and never would be. She made him a training sign to remind him he could never measure up to the Legendary Leroy Jethro Gibbs, did you know that? Even I was too damn busy, nursing my own hurt and anger at you and I wasn't there for him, like I should have. And that shames me no end."

"So alone and hurting, he tried to make you proud of him. With no warning or transitional phase, he had to step up. He led the team, in spite of the chain of command issues you had left him with. Despite the fact that they took your handing over of the keys speech to be derogatory, he stepped up and led. He not only maintained your legendary closure rate, he did it with a team that was far from cohesive or supportive."

"He had an acting Senior Field Agent who he had to train and who wouldn't listen to him, plus a green probie that was even more of a frightened rabbit than McGee was, when he first arrived. He did it with a Mossad agent that let him plainly see, that she thought she should be in charge rather than him and constantly challenged his orders. He did it while running a covert undercover operation for the director; without anyone having his six. More importantly he did it all with no support, apart from one lone autopsy gremlin."

"Would you have been able to juggle all of that when you first took over the Team Lead Jethro? You had the benefit of Mike Franks ensuring that there was a clear chain of command. So that when you were given the lead, your team wasn't questioning your fitness to assume control and fighting against you at every turn. You had the benefit of years of leading teams as a Gunny where there was a clear chain of command. And you never had to try and run undercover missions at the same time as the MCRT for the first time or conceal the fact that you were working on the sly, for the director of the agency. Not to mention, you were considerably older than Anthony when you assumed the mantle of leadership and you didn't have to contend with an emotionally volatile forensic scientist, who would have a meltdown at least every other day and the only one who could talk her down, was Anthony."

"Frankly he was an outstanding leader Jethro, and what did you do? Did you come back and thank him for keeping the team together, that he had helped you build? Did you tell him that you were proud of the job that he had done and thank him for keeping your seat warm for you, while maintaining that damned closure rate that you are so inordinately proud of? Did you tell him that you had changed your mind and that you decided to come out of retirement and wanted the team back again? No Jethro, in your usual jackboot diplomacy style, you came in early one morning and cleared out his desk and that's how he found out he was demoted, back to being your second in command."

Ducky could see that Gibbs was girding his loins to jump in but Ducky hadn't finished yet. So he held up his hand and said, "Haven't finished yet! You get to speak when I've finished as per our agreement."

'Then when we all tried to tell you what an ass you were being, and what an outstanding job Anthony had done in your absence, you were too damned busy. Too damned busy, basking in all the arse licking for want of a better phrase, that Timothy, Abigail and Ziva were doing and listening to their bitching about Anthony. You let them rub excrement in his face and you joined in, just to make sure he knew that the rightful Sovereign was back on his throne and taken back his kingdom...again. While Anthony was worrying about how much of your memory remained AWOL and how it might affect the team when they were under fire. While he was feeling guilty about his probie getting dumped unceremoniously off the team, you were all enjoying yourselves, putting the boot into him and telling him what a lousy leader he was.

He even turned down the chance to lead his own team because he thought he wasn't good enough. Plus he knew that Ziva and McGee would never have the gonads to stand up to you, if someone needed to watch your six or even over rule you, in your impaired condition. He was told that an offer like that might not come up for a long time and he put his team's welfare, ahead of any professional aspirations; or his need to get away from a truly untenable situation.

Gibbs couldn't help it, he had to know. "What team lead? No one ever said anything about a promotion, god damn it! I'm his supervisor," he roared.

"Anthony didn't want you to know, Jethro but Jenny tried to drop you enough hints. If you're head hadn't been so far up your er fundament at the time... well you would have read between the lines of what she was telling you and joined the dots. Jenny offered Anthony the Team Lead in Rota, Spain when you returned. Mr Palmer said that not long before he turned it down, McGee taunted him, saying that he didn't deserve his own team and Anthony just took it on the chin, like every other time. Your precious agents owe him their careers not just the existence of the team, when you left."

"He had plenty of opportunities to write both of them up for gross insubordination; they would have been tossed out on their proverbial posteriors and I for one would have applauded loudly and I wouldn't have been Robinson Caruso either! Several of the other team leads tried to get him to report them but he just did what he always does. He took one of the team... again and again. He is a fine man and a great agent, Jethro."

"I know that Duck, I trained him." Gibbs smiled indulgently.

"God damn you Gibbs!" Ducky shouted and stood up and strode out of the room fuming. He called to his mother's pack of corgis and decided he needed to take a walk to calm down. Either that or he'd go back in there and pound Jethro senseless; Marquess of Queensbury rules be damned! Honestly, he counted Gibbs as a good friend but he could be thick as two planks sometimes and Ducky longed to pummel some sense into Jethro's thick skull, for once. Though he recognised that taking on the former gunny wasn't exactly prudent, so a bracing constitutional was much more sensible, all round.

He hoped that in his absence, Gibbs was processing everything he had said. He decided that they needed to take a break and get some sleep. Pick up the discussion again in the morning but Ducky knew that he couldn't leave things like this, either. He needed to draw a line in the conversational sand, so to speak. Tomorrow would be extremely difficult for them both but hopefully it would help Anthony, if Gibbs finally had some insight into how much damage they had caused him since he joined their family. The truth hurt and Jethro was not good at dealing with emotional pain. He would not take it well.

Ducky walked at a surprisingly brisk pace, with the corgi crew in tow and tried to breathe deeply, so that he could calm himself and then finish up and sleep for a few hours. Although as he got older, he found his need for sleep diminished, today had been an exceptionally trying day, what with Anthony's injury and nightmare. Then to hear what Marion had to say and deal with the emotional fallout of her attempted apology to their young man, well it would have been more than enough to send him to his bed early. But to have to hold this conversation with Jethro on top of everything else that had happened, it made him weary down to his very bones and he longed to fall asleep in his freshly laundered sheets.

It was time to go back and finish this and with a sharp whistle to the corgi clan, he headed for home. He grinned, wondering what Gibbs was doing right now. He probably had no idea why Ducky had stormed off, so it was time to educate him on that score. Ducky pondered in his absence which of his crutches he had opted to indulge in – bourbon or coffee? As he let himself and the corgis back into the house, he could smell fresh brewed coffee and he smirked. Jethro, being on someone else's territory hadn't felt comfortable enough to get drunk, which was one of the reasons why Ducky insisted on having this showdown at his place. He wanted the home town advantage.

When he returned to the sitting room, Gibbs looked up and regarded him cautiously. "Not sure what it was I said, Duck but I didn't mean to upset you."

It was the closest to an apology that he had ever likely to get from Jethro but Ducky wasn't feeling like crowing because Gibbs still didn't get what it was, that was so wrong. Ducky knew that they needed to settle this point before shutting up shop for the night.

Ducky glared at Jethro and said, "I saw red, Jethro because you insist on perpetuating the myth that you are responsible for Anthony's brilliance. I know the truth though, because I was there when you stumbled across him. He was a fine investigator long before he joined us, which was precisely why you wouldn't rest, until you had him."

"You wanted someone you could trust, to watch your six. He was a highly respected detective with plenty of commendations, an impressive closure rate of his own, especially in light of the lack of resources of Baltimore PD and the multiple cases he was assigned to work simultaneously. He had earned a gold shield at a freakishly young age and he had a very impressive track record and gift for undercover work.

The FBI had been trying to lure him away from Baltimore long before you showed up. He sailed through FLETC and graduated in the top three, even though he joined the class right at the tail end of the course. When he joined the MCRT he was so far from being a probie in all but a technical capacity, as you well know. Anthony was never your probie but he is your protégé. To hear you talk, it sounds like you got him, hatched right out of the egg, still totally wet behind the ears.

Instead of taking credit for training him, you need to acknowledge the investigator he was when you were lucky enough to get hold him. It might help his colleagues to see that Anthony more than merits his position as senior field agent. He earned the right to have his own team, damn it and he is worthy of professional respect, just as much as you are. I don't see Ziva or Timothy ever bringing down a mafia family."

"Give him the credit he is due. You took him and moulded him into a federal agent, absolutely but let's be honest Gibbs, you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. And if it wasn't for him, those two junior agents that think so highly of themselves well, they wouldn't be half a good as they think they are."

Ducky stood up, "now I suggest that we resume this discussion in the morning. I've made up the spare bedroom with fresh sheets, so I'll say goodnight. I'm going to ask James to go and keep Anthony company, tomorrow so that we can finish what we started." Then he turned to head off to bed.

"Oh and Jethro, unless you want to wake up with at least one of Mother's damn dogs in bed with you, I suggest that you make sure the bedroom door is well and truly latched. Sleep well my friend."

Next Chapter: A little intra-species make out session and Marion meets her sponsor.


	11. Chapter 11

Rating: T

Disclosure: Dana, Darryl, Marion and Monarch are all mine. All the rest, I'm just borrowing for a while.

A/N Thank you to everyone who left a review or alerted and faved. Thanks to AlexDN for info on Tyson LOL. I took some liberties with a first name for Agent Balboa because according to my oracle, it isn't mentioned anywhere.

Not beta'd so apologies for any mistakes. Thanks to BuckeyeGirl00000 for alerting me to an error in previous chapter, which has now been corrected and reposted. Hope you enjoy :) Next Chapter will return to more chinwags between Ducky/Gibbs

Halloween Remembrances

Chapter 11

Ducky was standing in front of his bathroom mirror, going through the morning ritual of scraping off facial hair that had grown overnight on his still, surprisingly youthful features. Although he had only had a few hours sleep, he was feeling much better now. He had thought perhaps he wouldn't be able to sleep, knowing that he was going to deal with some pretty deep topics with his friend. Although Anthony referred to Gibbs as a functional mute, to Ducky, he always felt that Jethro suffered from a sort of emotionally autism, unable to process his or other people's emotions, when they were even slightly complex or complicated. The irony was, that this malaise seemed to be confined to people he had an emotional attachment to. When it came to dirt bags, his gut worked just fine, but ex-wives and sensitive protégés left him completely clueless.

The dapper doctor was pulled out of his psychological musings, by his mother's voice, berating someone stridently. "Oh good lord, he had forgotten that his mother Victoria, was as good as a blood hound when it came to sniffing out guests in the house. He grinned suddenly, remembering his youthful indiscretions when every single attempt to smuggle into his room, a current paramour, would result in mortifying scenes involving his current lady-love and painfully embarrassing scenes with his mother, throwing out scathing epithets such as, hussy, floozy and other adjectives that were even less gentile... and always ended, in intolerable humiliation for them all. At least, on the part of the young lovers, anyway. That was, until the next time his burgeoning hormones rendered him temporarily amnesiac and he brought home a new lover, again.

It sounded as if Mother had sniffed out Jethro and Ducky hurried down the hallway to the guest bedroom, to soothe the nerves of his elderly mother. Now as her dementia was progressing rapidly, her inability to cope with even small changes in routine, had magnified along with what had been her many personality quirks and eccentricities. When he got to the doorway, he stopped frozen in shock, at the tableau that greeted him.

Jethro was half sitting up in bed with the covers pulled up to his chest, by which Ducky surmised that he was sleeping in only his underwear. He probably should have offered him some nightwear, he realised. One of his mother's corgi's Contessa, was leaping up and giving him excited licks upon his face, while Victoria was beating him on the torso with a bolster cushion off the bed. While that was disturbing enough, Gibbs was desperately trying to dislodge his mother's youngest and overly sexed, male corgi, Monarch off his lower extremities as the juvenile dog humped him enthusiastically. Ducky silently said a prayer of gratitude to a number of deities, that it was the randy little newcomer and not Tyson, the biter who was lavishing his unwanted attention upon Jethro's leg.

Ducky, who was trying very hard not to show his amusement; firmly seized the bolster cushion from his mother and attempted to diffuse the situation. Funny as it was, to witness a big bad Marine so uncomfortable and defenceless; he knew that it wasn't a fair fight. Jethro would never raise a hand, against someone as frail and confused as his elderly mother. He picked up the juvenile canine satyriasis, depositing him firmly upon the floor and shooed Contessa off the bed, too.

"Mother, why are you attacking our guest? You remember Jethro; I work with him at NCIS."

"Because Donald, he is a contemptible, degenerate, perverted paedophile. I found him in here deflowering our dear Contessa and engaging in debauchery with our sweet young boy, Monarch. He corrupted their morals, Donald."

Mrs Mallard, who with no soft furnishings with which to punish the transgressor, took to whacking Gibbs over the head with her hands before Ducky belatedly, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off knew from experience, that the best way to handle his mother was by deflection.

'Come along Mother, you need to have your breakfast and be ready when Mrs Richardson comes this morning. I do believe that you have an appointment at the hairdressers, at ten o'clock. I have porridge ready for you and French toast for your breakfast, so let's get moving."

He led the still outraged Mrs Mallard out of the guest room, pausing to tell Gibbs that there was a fresh pot of coffee, awaiting his attention.

After settling his mother with a plateful of warm oatmeal porridge, brown sugar and warm milk, he quickly organised his own breakfast. He settled down with his toasted English breakfast muffin topped with orange marmalade and a cup of Irish Breakfast tea. Jethro appeared in the breakfast room, looking only slightly the worse for wear and Ducky gave him an apologetic half smile.

"I'm sorry about that, my friend. I did warn you to latch the door though."

"Thought I did Duck."

"Oh dear, I guess it needs attention. I'll have to call the handyman and have him look at it.

His mother glanced up from the cup of tea she was drinking daintily, complete with curled pinkie finger and joined the conversation. "Why not get the Italian Furniture Mover to attend to it Donald. When will he be here again?"

Mother, I told you that Anthony is a Special Agent, not an Italian Furniture Mover. I work with him at NCIS."

Ducky noticed Gibbs' surprise, so he answered the unspoken question. "Anthony and my mother have a strange friendship. They are bridge partners, he helps her shift the furniture around in the sitting room and they have high teas together. I think that it reminds him of his English roots and maybe he sees her as a surrogate grandparent. I've noticed that it isn't just the younger members of the female persuasion, that want to mother him.

He could see that Gibbs was perhaps re-evaluating why his senior field agent would talk to him, when he was upset. Gibbs didn't comment on the revelation but offered, "if you have some tools handy Duck, I'll have a look at the lock on the bedroom door after breakfast."

"Thank you Jethro, that is terribly kind of you under the circumstances. I am sorry about Mother. She gets very protective of her furry, four-footed children, I'm afraid. Do not fear though, I know you would never engage in activities that would steal away their precious virtue," he finished grinning slyly. "

And now that Monarch has become such a randy little bugger, I fear he will need to have his testicals removed," he confided sotto voiced. "I'm afraid that once it starts, recidivism is inevitable. I'll have to organise a visit to the veterinary surgeon, when Mother is away at one of her retreats."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Dana had picked a small, friendly cafe that specialised in great coffee and sensational brunches, in which to meet her friend after her night shift. Although they hadn't managed to catch up for several months, the Narcotic Anonymous sponsor was not exactly happy to be meeting with Marion under the current circumstances. She could see her friend approaching and immediately observed the slump in her posture and the strain written across her tired face. She plopped herself down and gratefully reached for the cup of green tea that Dana had ordered for her.

After they both ordered their breakfast choices and the waiter had disappeared, Dana stared at Marion and said, "okay spill!"

"Marion took a deep breath. " He turned up on the ward last night with a GSW"

"Okay Marion who is he?"

"Him! The child! He's the one I told you about. He was the one in a body cast and we all knew why he was so badly hurt. His father sent him into the ER with his freaking lawyer and never once set foot in the hospital to see his son."

Dana felt like someone had punched her in the solar plexus. Talk about a terrible coincidence. Although officially, Marion had become addicted to morphine after a car accident, that resulted in her injuring her spine; Marion had told her that the real reason she became dependant on the drug was because of the child. The sheer relief of not feeling the emotional pain that she had been forced to live with, for so many years, after choosing not to report the suspected paternal abuse, had been her non-adaptive way of Marion not dealing with her guilt.

Being a medical professional, Marion had been able to work the system and continue to obtain prescriptions for pain medication, from a revolving door series of quacks. Thankfully, she never resorted to stealing meds from the hospital where she worked. Ironically though, after years and years as a drug addict, she had been caught out accidently when one of her workmates began to steal pain medication. In the ensuing investigation, an unscheduled mandatory drug test had caught her unawares and for a while it seemed as if her nursing career was finished. Although Marion had eventually been able to prove that she wasn't the thief, she was still dismissed from the job and her nursing licence was suspended.

At that point, Marion checked into rehab and completed detox leaving her, to once again face the crippling guilt that plagued her days and nights without the protection of her drugs. Once released from the rehab clinic, she joined Narcotic Anonymous and found herself a therapist to try and deal with her crippling guilt. She had started volunteering at a children's charity for abused children and also became involved in several shelters for abused women and children.

When Marion's first sobriety anniversary past, the Nursing Registration Board agreed to re-issue her nursing licence, with strict supervisory conditions. Dana who was a radiologist, managed to get a job for her sponsoree at the hospital where she worked. The hospital had also placed lots of conditions upon her employment but Marion had managed to stay sober and their relationship evolved into one of close friendship as the years went by.

Over the years, Marion had worked through the various stages of the Narcotic Anon program. She was also finally finding acceptance, that while choosing to walk away from the child that had needed her, had been the worst mistake of her life, she needed to forgive herself and try and help other people who needed her now. She had lost her marriage during her addiction and her two children had also become estranged due to her drug problems. Although her marriage was beyond salvageable, over the last five years, Marion was beginning to rebuild a relationship with her children. Dana didn't want to see any of her progress eroded.

For the longest time, Marion had obsessed over finding the child and trying to apologise or redress the situation but apparently the child had disappeared from his father's life. She spent years searching but she was unable to find him in New York. It became an obsession for several years and it took a lot of therapy but finally she came to terms, with the fact that she had to move on, without getting to apologise.

Now he was back and the victim of some crime involving guns. Clearly he had ended up becoming some sort of criminal or drug dealer and Marion would experience all the old unresolved guilt once again. This was an unmitigated disaster. Dana recalled a bit of the conversation from the middle of the night, when she had been operating at half capacity.

Marion, are you sure; did he recognise you? What happened?"

"Yes I'm positive Dana. His friends confirm that he grew up in New York and his physician knew about the injury, except he thought he'd been involved in a car accident."

"But Marion, did he remember you?" the NA sponsor questioned, feeling uneasy recalling Marion saying that she had to swap patients.

"Um... I thought he had but when I tried to apologise to him he went into respiratory distress and Dr Mallard requested I organise for someone else to nurse him."

"Marion, you didn't discuss his history with anyone did you?" Dana stared at her friend, knowing how obsessed she had been about this patient for the longest time. She saw from her friend's guilty expression that she had. "Ri, you know that is a gross breach of professional ethics. If he made a complaint against you, it could cost you your job."

This situation just got worse by the minute. At least Ri had had the sense to call her last night, so she guessed she could be grateful for small mercies... but even still.

"How did he get shot? Is he a dealer or an addict?"

"No Dana, he is a Federal Agent. He took a bullet to save a civilian during a robbery."

Dana did a double take, relieved that he at least wasn't a criminal. At least Ri wouldn't have to wonder if her inaction had driven him to a life of crime. Then a bell went off in her head.

"Wait, you mean that armed robbery of the convenience store, which has been all over the news? The one where a zombie and a ghoul were shot? That guy is being called a hero. Is he going to be okay?" Dana asked worriedly.

"Yeah Dana, he should recover fully and I don't know if it is the same guy cuz I've been working all night, if you remember." She played with her food for a moment before taking a bite.

Her phone pinged, announcing that she had a new text message. Marion excused herself and checked her phone. Frowning as she read the text, Dana could tell that her friend was upset by what she read. She put her phone back in her handbag, sighed deeply and looked at her sponsor.

"That was his doctor. He doesn't want to talk to me right now. Dr Mallard said he has agreed to think about meeting me, at some time in the future but for now, I'm to stay away from him."

"Ri, I know how much it means to you to be able to apologise to him and get some closure. But you need to remember, as much as you are hurting, it has to be worse for him. And he has just been shot, don't forget that! This isn't about you and what you need. You have to respect his wishes and you also can't let this take over your life again. He has to be ready to listen and it sounds like he isn't there yet. He may never be ready either and he has that right too, so you need to be ready for that eventuality. Maybe you could write him a letter and leave it with his doctor, but please, I'm begging you Ri, to back off and give him privacy. You said he was upset when you tried to explain?"

"He went into respiratory distress; his pulmonary functioning has been impaired from a workplace injury," she admitted pensively.

"Well Ri, I know that you don't want to cause him any more pain, so promise me you'll wait until and if, he agrees to see you?"

Her friend nodded disconsolately. Dana patted her hand before attempting to cheer her up.

"At least you know he is alive and leads a productive life, Ri."

"But he must have emotional scars Dana. I know he suffers from nightmares because he had a horrific one while he was coming out of the anaesthetic. I think it was probably about how he ended up injured and it shattered his friends as well, to hear his pain. They had no idea... well I don't think the doctor was totally shocked... but you could see how much it hurt them both. "

"All the more reason to give him space Ri. No doubt his friends will want to know more about his past now and he is wounded and needs to heal. He has enough on his plate. Come on, if we want to make that NA meeting, we gotta go now!"

Dana threw some money down on the table to cover their meal. Ignoring Marion's protests, she led her friend away towards her car, hoping like hell that everything would be okay.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs could hear Ducky as he exhorted his mother to gather her coat and handbag in readiness for her appointment at the hair salon. He couldn't help but be grateful that Victoria didn't have her handbag with her, earlier that morning. No doubt she wouldn't have had any compunction, in using it to hit him over the head with, in her defence of those damned corgis. He wondered why Ducky, didn't just castrate the offender himself.

Gibbs picked up the Philips head screwdriver and began to pull apart the locking mechanism of the door to the guest bedroom. He had decided that the easiest way to fix the lock, was to simply removed it from the door and then dismantle it in an attempt to discover what was wrong. He smiled slightly, the irony not lost on him that the method of fixing the door lock was mirrored by Ducky's method of dealing with the situation between him and DiNozzo.

The medical examiner had certainly given him pause for thought, last night. He was still trying to process what he'd heard and was surprised just how passionate Ducky was about the situation. He was surprised too, to find out that DiNozzo had found a place in the Mallard home, which he knew nothing about.

While all of the information was shocking, the chain of command stuff and McGee and Ziva's insubordination and lack of respect for DiNozzo was the most upsetting because, Ducky was right. As leader, he should have be maintaining the chain of command and ensuring those that he lead, observed and respected it too.

It wasn't that he didn't believe Ducky but he would like to confirm his observations, with those of a field agent. The problem was though, that most of the other team leaders were too much in awe of him or scared of his temper, to tell him the cold hard truth. At times such as these, he could see that there was a definite downside to be regarded by his workmates as a class 'A' bastard. DiNozzo on the other hand was well liked and regarded by most people at the Naval Yard, apart from Vance. He even knew the names' of the entire janitorial staff and all their family details. It was like ,with no true family of his own; he lived vicariously through those around him who did have family, even if he didn't ever allow many people to get up close and personal.

Gibbs thought about Chris Pacci, the '_tell it how it is, consequences be damned'_ Team leader that had been more than a colleague. He had been a friend and he also had taken DiNozzo under his wing too, when he first joined NCIS and helped him settle in. He really missed Chris and wished he hadn't blown him off when he needed help. He didn't have Pacci's six when he needed him and it had cost him his life and now it seemed that he wasn't doing such a good job of watching Tony's, either.

He considered the current team leaders, because he discounted the senior field agents who were all terrified of him and anyway, every damned one of them thought DiNozzo was a masochist, for working with him. None of them would tell him the truth; of that he was sure. Of all the team leads, Ric Balboa with a bit of persuasion from a bottle of Jack might be persuaded to level with him and hopefully he would get another eyewitness account of what happened while he was retired. Balboa never could hold his liquor very well; he was definitely a cheap drunk.

He could also study the security logs of what went on in the bull pen and even though he wasn't great at lip reading, body language could still be telling. He could always get Abby to lip read if it was absolutely necessary. He was a top notch investigator! He would investigate and confirm or disprove Ducky's allegations. Even hours logged, could be useful to know and that information was easily acceptable.

It still left him with the other disturbing fact. That Ducky and a perfect stranger, independently of each other, told him in no uncertain terms, that he wasn't affording DiNozzo the respect that he deserved. Of course he knew he had been a good cop. His undercover skills were outstanding and after learning about his secret last night, he suspected that Tony had had plenty of practice, from an early age having to hide, what was going on at home.

He also knew that DiNozzo was an excellent investigator but he had never really thought about how unusual it was for someone who was so young, to be awarded a gold shield. He really didn't have much time or patience with the local cops as a rule. So he hadn't realised that it was such a big deal. Apparently he was wrong on that score. What else had he missed about his senior field agent? He had a feeling that Ducky was far from finished enlightening him on that score and he better be prepared to face some more unpleasant revelations.

Next chapter: A high fibre diet and some unpalatable fibrous questions.


	12. Chapter 12

Rating: T

Disclosure: Not mine except the OCs

A/N Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favs. Thanks to AlexDN for the photos... so many to chose from LOL

Also a huge thank you to my Beta Reader. Any remaining errors are my fault as I decided to change a few things :D

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter Twelve

Ducky had finally helped his mother into the car and she had headed off to her hair appointment. Afterwards her nurse, Mrs Richardson, was going to take her to an art gallery, for a few hours, so he could continue his discussion with Jethro without interruption. He'd also checked in with the hospital and Abby and found that Anthony had had a restless night, with several nightmares.

He was, not surprisingly, thinking of discharging himself AMA since he hated doctors and hospitals with a passion and Ducky really couldn't blame him, after those revelations. He knew that because of what had happened last night with Marion, Anthony would be looking to crawl off alone somewhere private, to lick his wounds.

Ducky had organised for a locum to fill in for him in Autopsy today, should it become necessary. He also called his young assistant, James Palmer and explained that Anthony had been shot the night before. He asked him to stay with Anthony and try to talk him out of discharging himself from his hospital bed. Abby would need a break and he and Jethro were otherwise occupied, so he trusted James to watch Anthony's back.

The two men were friends and even though James could be incredibly inappropriate with his humour at times, he was actually a very sensitive, caring person. If he couldn't stop Anthony from leaving the hospital, he would at least make sure he got home safely and stay with him, so he didn't hurt himself further. He asked him to pass along the message, that Marion had been told not to bother him and that he was doing his best to fulfil the other promise too and that he would see him, later on today.

Finally with other matters taken care of, he began brewing a fresh pot of coffee and making himself another pot of tea. He decided that he needed something a little stronger and more bracing, so he opted for one of his favourites, Twinning's wonderful Russian Caravan tea. Some people believed that the kick in the tea was due to minute quantities of saltpetre but he doubted that this was the case, at least anymore. For all his amassing of a huge amount of disparate information, this particular wife's tale had always fascinating him and he resolved once more, to research its origins.

He also made up a fruit plate of various sliced fruits because Jethro's diet was abysmal and he knew that he was more likely to eat some fruit, if it was already cut up into convenient pieces, especially if he was distracted. As a doctor, he couldn't help but wonder, given Gibbs diet, if some of his bad temper might not be explained away by chronic constipation. When the tea had steeped long enough and the coffee was finished brewing and looked like sludge, he placed cosies on the tea pot and the coffee pot and added both to the tea tray.

Surprisingly, Gibbs was already waiting for him in the sitting room, standing staring out the bay windows, lost in thought. He turned as Ducky set the tea tray down on the table and moved in to help himself to a mug of coffee. He sniffed the foul brew, before smiling in appreciation. It was perfectly prepared and he immediately took a sip of the scalding liquid. Meanwhile, Ducky was fussing around with his fine boned china teacup, pouring an unusual but pungent brew into his cup.

Gibbs obviously decided to fire the opening salvo while Ducky was still getting organised. "Thought a lot bout what you said, Duck... the chain of command stuff. Have to say ya shocked me! And it's not that I don't trust ya or believe what ya said but it's pretty huge. The insubordination and all! So I am gonna be doing some investigating, ask some questions bout when I was gone."

He glanced at his friend to see his response, pleased to see he was nodding earnestly. Actually Ducky was pleasantly surprised that Gibbs had actually listened and been ready to consider the possibility, that his leadership methods may have had such terrible consequences. Frankly, given that Gibbs was a Marine for so long, he had always marvelled that he could be so blind, about what he was doing.

"Of course Jethro, you are an investigator. I am not offended that you want to confirm the verisimilitude of my revelations. I am nevertheless confident, that your enquiries will bear out what I'm saying. May I suggest you also talk to my assistant as well, but please be gentle with him? I'm afraid the situation with young Michelle, has been a great shock to the poor lad. I might also suggest that you speak to the janitorial and security staff as well. People tend to treat them as invisible and they frequently see more that people give them credit for. I would suggest some pizza and beer might be an excellent way of breaking down the barriers."

Gibbs nodded his assent and they both took a moment to sip from their respective beverages, while Ducky planned the next few moves. So far, he couldn't have hoped for a more promising opening, to round two. Of course, it didn't make it any easier to say what he needed to say, though.

"Jethro, I know that you were feeling hurt and rejected last night, when Anthony pushed you away, when you wanted to help him. But it isn't about what you want or need. He is hurting right now and I don't mean from getting shot either. He has been in great emotional pain, for far too long now and you have been oblivious to it. In fact, you have contributed to some it, my friend. So it makes sense that he is not eager to come to you, especially given what he thinks, you think of him."

"And what's that Duck?" Gibbs asked cautiously.

"Well my friend, he thinks that you no longer trust him to watch your six or the team. He thinks that you see him as being weak and especially after finding out about his secret last night; that you pity him and see him as a victim. Apparently, both of us need to work on our poker faces, Jethro. The minute we came back from our little tête-à-tête with Marion last night, he knew that something was wrong."

"He said, I looked old and sad and I have to admit that was exactly how I felt, too. He said you were very angry but trying to be nice and that you were feeling pity for him. He thought that Leon was planning on firing him. As you heard last night, he feels that he screwed up the robbery situation."

Goddammit Duck, why would he think that?"

"Well Jethro, he failed to deliver a kill shot to the second assailant, he failed to disarm him and wasn't able to secure the crime scene and he lost consciousness before he made sure that everyone was unharmed. Plus he failed to observe protocol and went in without back-up."

"He was shot, damn it and bleeding out. That stupid rule of his father's about passing out; its crap! He saved those people's lives, at the risk of his own. Why can't he see that, Duck? How can he think he screwed up?"

"Yes well Jethro, I am afraid that some of blame lies with Anthony's father, for never being satisfied with anything that the lad achieved or telling him that he was proud of him. Given what we now know of the cur, it's not surprising though is it? But some of the blame can also be laid upon your shoulders too, I'm afraid. In your never ending quest to push him to be the best agent that he can be, you fail to acknowledge to him, that you are proud of who he is already. Or that he is already good enough, for that matter. As hard as you are on him, and you are brutal; he is even more so on himself and doesn't need any additional encouragement from someone else, especially you."

"It isn't the first time that he has shown outstanding heroism, courage and grace under fire. Nor is the first time he has risked his life to save others and triumphed against odds that most men would simply not be able to survive. The day that he saved our poor dear Caitlyn and Timothy from the car bomb, left by Ari that was meant to kill your team, is a prime example. He was weak and still recovering from pneumonia, so it was an amazingly breathtaking achievement. No pun intended! I still can't believe he survived either event, if it comes down to it. He saved both their lives that day and was willing to give up his own life to do so. Yet neither one of them ever actually thanked him, nor did you."

"You Jethro were too consumed by your hatred of Ari; so perhaps one could excuse it, if it wasn't part of a pattern. His teammates though, teased him later on when he was told to rest and had to be in quite a deal of discomfort, when they should have been getting down on their knees and thanking him. Caitlyn even tipped a bottle of water over his head, which considering his bout of pneumonia was very foolhardy, apart from lacking in gratitude. At least when he saved Abigail after Caitlyn was shot; she expressed her thanks for him protecting her, with his body. Not just with her words but her hands too I understand," Ducky chuckled.

"And then just last year, I recall a situation where Anthony managed to shoot and kill two assailants that were trying to kill him and two other individuals, while he was running full tilt towards them. He then plunged into an icy cold, dirty river, to save two people who were trapped in a submerged car, filling up with water. He had to break into the car underwater, which is an extraordinarily difficult physical feat, with his bare hands and would have required great determination, strength and desperation."

He then had to retrieve both victims and haul them to the surface because they were unconscious, quite possibly even expired. One of those individual was even trapped, around the legs by the steering wheel column and Anthony freed him, again no mean feat. I believe Anthony would be making a quip right now about David Banner." He saw the confusion on Gibbs' face, so he elaborated.

"The Incredible Hulk, dear boy." Seeing that Jethro was still looking clueless, Ducky sighed before continuing, "And then, if that wasn't enough, he had to successfully resuscitate both persons who had stopped breathing, because he was all alone. He managed to perform that heroically amazing feat, while still having much less lung capacity that the average field agent, due to his excessively scarred lungs from the plague.

"I doubt even you could have pulled that off Jethro. He saved your life and that of Maddie Tyler, who you had so foolishly placed in mortal danger, by being so pigheaded and determined to go it alone. You never even thanked him or told what a great job he did. He dived into that river, knowing that he was at risk of developing a second bout of pneumonia that would probably have killed him but he didn't hesitate, for a second to risk his life for you and that girl. You hand out Caff-Pows, kisses and great jobs to Abigail like they are candy and are generous with the 'good jobs' with McGee and hugs with Ziva. Yet you cannot thank Anthony for making sure that Maddie didn't end up in the ground somewhere, when by rights, that's where she should be along with you."

"You dare to ask how he can think he screwed up the takedown so badly, when he saved an almost dead Marine from a serial killer. Even though, he was still seriously under the influences of a combination of drugs at the time. He managed to free Gunnery Sergeant Bill Atlas and singlehandedly haul his ass out of their prison. Then, when the killer finally caught up with them down in the sewer tunnels, he placed his own body in the line of fire to save him, from a bullet! He managed to deflect the murderer and disarmed her and he still feels that he screwed up the mission, because he was drugged."

Gibbs, who had stayed silent throughout Ducky's impassioned monologue, spoke up, at this point." I told him he was irreplaceable Duck."

"Yes you did Jethro. According to Caitlyn, you only said something because Anthony in his distressed state, practically begged you to. And then when he was on a high, from the unaccustomed assurance that you would miss him, if something had happened, you couldn't let him have his moment. You jabbed him in the gut with the cruel taunt about McGee, his desk and Timothy not getting it because Anthony was still alive, after all."

"One of his greatest fears; is that he will die all alone and that no one will mourn him, which is of course a common universal fear. In Anthony's case given his background, it has become a very tangible fear for him. You must know that he has always felt like his father replaced him and his mother with his common floozies and new trophy wives. Could you have come up with a more cruel way to negate the comment that he was irreplaceable?"

"Hey Duck, it was just a joke."

"It isn't a joke if it isn't funny Jethro. Jokes don't wound people. And even if he knew it was a joke, which I seriously doubt, how was he to know that you weren't joking about him being irreplaceable too? Caitlyn said that for a second or two, before his mask went back up again, Anthony looked like you had shot his puppy.

So are you really surprised that Anthony views last night as a balls up? And the only person I heard telling him what an upstanding job he did in foiling that robbery, was a perfect stranger to him. A cop no less. His director and his team leader never told him they were proud of him for saving four people. Vance didn't even ask him if he was okay."

Ducky stood up, sighing sadly. "I have to call the hospital and find out if they have managed to hold onto Anthony or if he has signed himself out. I'll put some soup on for lunch too; won't be long!" He hoped in his absence, that Gibbs would think about what they had discussed and take some of it on board. He decided to heat up some of his spicy red lentil soup; so full of fibre and good for bowel health. He thought some hearty rye bread might be the perfect accompaniment. He also wondered if he still had some of that delicious gluten free beer, left in the fridge.

Ducky returned to the sitting room to find Gibbs pacing up and down. "I've contacted the hospital and spoken to Mr Palmer. Anthony is making noises about signing himself out but they are watching a DVD at the moment." Duck noticed that Gibbs was still pacing.

"Jethro, I have put some soup on but it needs to finish cooking. While it does, we could go for a short walk with Mother's dogs and stretch our legs." He saw Gibbs grimace. "Don't worry, Jethro. I'll protect you from Contessa and Monarch. Your virtue will be safe... at least while you are with me."

They let the dogs out of the house and they all took off across the property and down onto a nature reserve, where Ducky obviously exercised them frequently. As they walked, Ducky watched Gibbs for a while and could see the agent begin to relax.

"Why Jethro?" he asked gently.

"Why what Duck?"

"Why do you feel the need to wound Anthony with such cruel barbs, Jethro? It wasn't just when he saved that Marine. You do it frequently. You let the others goad him too. Anthony is a prankster to be sure, but he never does anything to be deliberately cruel. If he hurts someone's feelings, it is because he grew up in a dysfunctional home if you could call it that, and learnt most of his social skills at boarding school, military academy and a college fraternity.

None of which, are particularly healthy places to learn about interpersonal relationships, unless you consider physical hazing to be appropriate or normal. He doesn't mean to hurt anyone, especially his friends. Unlike his team mates or yourself, who seem to take delight in drawing blood when it comes to Anthony. Even Caitlyn felt that you could be unnecessarily cruel and she wasn't exactly innocent, in that regard, either."

"Frankly, I could never understand, what possessed you to condone that team dinner which Ziva organised, when she first joined the team and deliberately excluded Anthony from it. She even invited Abigail and James who are not even official members of the MCRT. And as if that wasn't bad enough, then all of you, even you Gibbs, revelled in rubbing his nose in the fact that he was the only one not invited. Why? I could never reconcile how you, of all people could be that cruel to the boy, who has had so much adversity in his life and never had a proper family or a real place to call home?"

Jethro opened his mouth but Ducky cut him off.

"On second thoughts Gibbs, don't say anything. There isn't really anything that you could say, that would justify your behaviour or any of the team. If you are going to rationalise that it was a bit of fun, then at the risk of repeating myself; don't! It isn't funny, when it hurts someone and all of you hurt him very badly. But, I think the fact that you of all people; took part in the taunting and even endorsed it, really ripped his heart to shreds."

"He is good at pretending that he doesn't hurt but it is just a very good act. After all, he has grown up with Senior, who has beaten him with his fists as well as his tongue, telling him he is a screw up and will amount to nothing. Any wonder he is insecure and constantly seek reassurance and approval. He might act like he is overconfident and cocky but as we both know; he is an excellent undercover operative. I think that you forget, that even when he is at NCIS, he is undercover. He really believes that he can never measure up to your expectations, Jethro. One day, he is going to stop trying, just as he did with his father."

Ducky whistled his mother's corgis and they all wheeled like a well trained pack and headed back home while Ducky followed, leaving a chastened Gibbs, to bring up the rear.

Next chapter: Magazines, seminars and mentoring plus some advice from Black Lung.


	13. Chapter 13

Rating: T

Disclosure: I don't own NCIS but Darryl, Marion, Dana et al are all mine :)

A/N Once again, thank you to everyone who review or alerted. Thanks to the guest because I can't send you PM. Thanks to my Beta for picking up my punctuation weaknesses. This chapter is a bit of a change from Ducky's onslaught, but he isn't done just yet. I have plans for the two junior agents but you're all goingto have to trust me on that. If Ducky got stuck into them too, I'd never finish with this but I think everyone will be satisfied with the outcome.

Chapter 13

Darryl Amos was on his way to the hospital to visit his new favourite Special Agent. It was Saturday and the Press Conference had gone off well that morning. His Chief was a happy camper because good press meant better budgets. The NCIS Director Vance and Chief of Police Camden had both fronted the media with a great hook for some positive press for a change. The story was a winner – four victims of an armed robbery, held up at gunpoint by two assailants dressed as a zombie and a ghoul and the innocent victims were rescued by an off duty federal agent who just happened to be a former Homicide Detective. The result: two scum bags dead or incarcerated and all the victims were unharmed and the fearless Federal Agent had taken a bullet for one of the victims but would recover.

It was pure gold to the local media and they lapped it up eagerly. Amos was just cranky that Tony wouldn't publicly get the recognition that he really deserved. Chief Camden had announced the Metro PD commendation he was awarding to the Federal Agent but Director Vance had decreed that he couldn't be publically identified because part of Tony's job was doing undercover work and he had to keep a low profile. Frankly, while Darryl conceded that working undercover meant Tony had to be careful to stay out of the media, he couldn't help but feel that Leon Vance was a little too pleased not to have his agent receive public acclaim.

He had discovered that the new Director of NCIS appeared to have little love for Special Agent DiNozzo. He has spoken to the Chief's contact, a Special Agent Nicky Jardin who was a cousin twice removed to the Chief's PA. It seemed that Jardin had worked with Tony during a murder investigation in Baghdad, Iraq a couple of years ago. She had been discreet but obviously was a fan of the ex-cop and had given the Assistant Chief some very good Intel about what had been going down at NCIS lately.

He now understood a little better why Tony looked so... soul tired and beaten down. Losing a close friend right in front of you, losing what might have been the love of your life had also taken their toll and the political machinations and manipulation by his superiors, had not surprisingly, left him with trust issues. The _sending away to sea _comment had been explained too, as he had been deployed as an Agent Afloat for four months. This was following the death of the previous NCIS Director when Tony had been on her protection detail. Even though she had ordered the protection team to stand down, more than once, he had followed his director's orders, it seemed that the new regime wanted a scapegoat for her death. At least that was the consensus at NCIS, according to Agent Jardin.

She had also explained to the cop that to the Navy and Marine Corp personnel aboard the ships where Agents Afloat were deployed, the crew of the ship generally regarded the special agents as the equivalent of Internal Affairs cops and shunned them. For a gregarious agent like Tony, who had had such a large amount of stressful incidents to deal with, in the eighteen months prior to being sent away like that, in a hostile situation with no backup, would have been sheer torture. It was beyond cruel and as far as he could see, it explained much about the kid's demeanour last night in the presence of his new Director.

He hadn't liked Leon Vance when he had seen him operate last night and knowing more about his modus operandi now, Darryl was even less impressed. Tony had been working two jobs for many months it seemed, at least according to Jardin, with no one watching his back while he was undercover. He had to be burnt out and jaded, yet he had no time off to compensate him for having to work twenty four hours a day, for months. Vance was a arsehole alright, leastways for not recognising the gem he had in his agent and for not looking after such a valuable asset. Instead, he just added to his stress and pain.

Well, he may not know it yet but Tony had Darryl in his corner now; whether he liked it or not. He looked after his people and Tony belonged to him from now on, it was just that simple. He had a plan to help him heal and regain his confidence. Darryl hated to see such a talented, professional go to waste and he wasn't about to let that happen.

He paused outside DiNozzo's hospital room, hearing the murmur of male voices and knocked on the door before entering. A young man with curly hair and glasses was arguing good naturedly with Tony about the game that was playing on the TV, which Tony switched off when he entered. He introduced his friend, Jimmy Palmer to the Assistant Chief; it seemed that the younger man was an autopsy assistant and medical student working at NCIS. They seemed to be good friends, judging by the way Tony seemed more relaxed today.

Darryl pulled up a second chair and dropped a few magazines, onto the bed. Tony glanced at them and regarded the Assistant Chief of Metro PD with a slightly steely stare.

"So you've been checking me out, Sir?" Tony stated, indicating the magazines. There was a Sports Illustrated, American Cinematography a trade magazine for filmmakers, and the latest copy of Variety. The last one was the Metro PD Police Gazette. Tony picked it up and quirked his eyebrow. People that fell for his frat boy persona bought him skin magazines but Darryl had obviously decided to dig a little beyond the surface. In reply, Darryl pulled out an official looking manila envelope and tossed it on the bed. "That's a copy of your commendation and an official job offer from Chief Camden. He wants you... I want you and I am prepared to wait." He held up a hand to forestall Tony's refusal. "Oh yes I know you regularly get job offers from the alphabet agencies and PDs and you turn them all down, but I am persistent, when I want something. If you worked for us, you wouldn't have to move or leave your friends behind and we would make it worth your while."

Tony shook his head and Amos didn't know if it was because he was refusing the offer or he was simply overwhelmed by the idea. Darryl wasn't fussed because he had only just begun his campaign. He also handed Tony a card with his personal details on it.

"I understand that we can't have an official public presentation of your commendation for last night. Gotta say, that sucks Tony but we can at least, present it to you privately. You are coming to my place next Saturday, for a barbeque and I have invited your Metro PD basketball teammates and all of your cronies from Metro too. Your network of contacts within my department is pretty impressive Tony. I think that you know more rank and file members of my PD than I do, and I pride myself on being hands on. You also seem to have friends in the unies as much as you have Dees as buddies which is pretty impressive. You're a popular guy for a Fed! What's yours secret?"

Tony looked abashed but tried to handle the situation using humour; his usual tool, for deflecting unwanted attention away from himself. "Um that might be because working for Gibbs, I have become his go to guy, when dealing with the PD LEOs Sir. As I said; once a cop... and well your guys don't like dealing with him either. I'm the lucky go-between."

Darryl suspected that Gibbs – apparently known as two Bs for bastard, wasn't the only one that requested his assistance in dealing with the local cops. It seemed that all of the agents at NCIS, took advantage of Tony's Metro contacts, at some point or another. He guessed that it was partly because Tony really liked and respected cops but he also remembered Agent Jardin telling him, that Tony was popular amongst pretty much everyone at NCIS, apart from Leon Vance. Even the ancillary staff and Tony was the go to guy, who was always ready to help out if he could.

"Well anyway...the Chief wants to meet you, and I want you to invite your team Tony, and anyone else you want. Jimmy, you're welcome of course. Perhaps you could give him a lift as I'm guessing it will be a while before he's cleared to drive?"

"Jimmy Palmer beamed at the cop. "Sure Darryl, I'd love too."

"Well that's settled then. I have something else that I want to speak to you about Tony. I had no idea that the guy responsible for bringing down Philly's biggest crime family, was here in Washington, right under our noses. You're a legend you know, not to mention your rather unorthodox investigative skills. Wanted to ask you if you would consider giving our Dees a couple of seminars on your investigative techniques and a sort of survival guide for working under cover... how to get into character... stuff like that. Metro will pay you, obviously"

Assistant Chief Amos could see that he had shocked Tony, although his friend Jimmy looked extremely pleased. Darryl wasn't done though. He was hoping that Tony might agree to become a sort of de-facto mentor to two of his baby Dees who showed a lot of promise but were still very green. Amos had decided that he would hold off on that request until next Saturday at the barbeque, or perhaps he would call and mentioned later in the week. He would invite the two fledglings to his unofficial presentation party, so Tony could meet them over a beer.

He knew that Tony had lost confidence in himself and giving him some new challenges would help him find his way back. Of course, spending some time preparing training seminars would remind him of exactly how much he did know. The fact that it would give him entre to the department wasn't really his main goal although it was an added bonus. The reality was, that Tony's experience and expertise wasn't being used effectively. Darryl wanted his people to benefit from all that DiNozzo had to offer, which was a hell of a lot. Truthfully, he had liked the kid from the moment he had clapped eyes on him and wanted to help him. Someone had too!

He had also found from his digging, that Tony hated hospitals, doctors and being off injured or sick from his work. Darryl thought that preparing some training seminars while he was off recuperating, would help prevent him becoming depressed or bored. Although he was burnt out and exhausted, his quick brain meant that he needed something novel to focus on rather than sitting at home climbing the walls. Daryl had discovered that his IQ was actually much higher than your average cop or jock.

The fact that it would give him entre to the department wasn't really his main goal although it was an added bonus. Being so good at reading his officers, he had a way of getting a handle on what was going on inside their heads. Darryl already thought he had a pretty good insight, into what made the complex special agent tick. Tony needed to feel, wanted, valued and to know that he was making a difference, all of which were, of course, pretty standard to the human condition, but this individual had an extremely high drive to serve the greater good. Therefore he needed people to watch out for him and make sure he didn't demand too much of himself.

If helping to build his confidence and provide him with a challenge or two, prevented him from falling into depression, Amos was happy to assist. If along the way, Tony developed a good working relationship with Darryl, that might persuade him to accept the offer to defect to Metro PD, then that was totally fine too. He decided that his work here was done, at least for today, so he shook hands with each of the men and told Tony he'd be in touch. He departed and headed home for a beer.

XXXXXXXX

Tony shook his head in confusion before he looked at Jimmy Palmer. "Kay Gremlin, what just happened here?" he asked incredulously. Before Jimmy had a chance to reply Tony interrupted him. "Punch me please Jimmy, cuz I think I am dreaming or hallucinating!" he pleaded.

Jimmy leant over and punched him on the shoulder.

"Owww!"

Jimmy was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Well Tony, either Assistant Chief Amos wants you have his baby," he ignored the rude name that DiNozzo called him, "or he is seriously courting you for a job in the Metro PD, now you're a big hero."

"But hell, why Jimmy?" Tony asked, still shell shocked by the whole encounter with the Assistant Chief of the Metro Police; who before last night he had never even met. It was apparent that Amos had done a fair bit of digging into Tony's background though and he wasn't sure he liked it. After all, he spent a lot of effort maintaining his various facades.

'Well maybe he thinks you'd make beautiful babies together." he teased.

"Idiot," his friend muttered fondly.

"Or maybe he knows what a hell of an catch you'd be for any PD or federal agency Tony," Jimmy told his friend, proudly.

"Gremlin, ya know that I love you like a brother, but you are seriously deranged." Tony said morosely. "I am a screw up, so why the hell would he want to offer me a job?"

"You know, if you are a screw up Tony, then the next time I'm drowning in a car or scumbags decide to hold up a convenience store, then you can screw up and save my life any day." Jimmy looked sadly at his friend, wishing that he could see what other people saw. A agent that was brave, loyal, honourable and talented but had had to deal with way to many traumas lately and had lost his way, along with his confidence in himself.

"Tony, even if you don't give any serious thought to the job offer, doing those training seminars would be totally cool and stop you climbing the walls while you are out of the field. You know how ansty you get when you're off on sick leave. I could help if you like, be your sounding board and it is a good thing for you to try new things. You know, you get bored without new challenges and it would look great your resume too, he burbled enthusiastically.

He paused for dramatic effect before bringing out the big guns. "And it would really, really piss off "The Toothpick" big time, Anthony."

"Yeah right, James. Sure, everyone would want to hear helpful undercover tips from an agent who screwed up an undercover op and topped off the FUBAR by falling in love with the mark."

"Tony, you didn't screw up the La Grenouille mission. The CIA disclosed your identity after Jenny refused to back off and leave their tame weapons dealer in peace. It wasn't your fault, it was the director's and she almost got you killed, damn it. NOT. YOUR. FAULT! I still have nightmares about the autopsy that Dr Mallard and I thought we were performing on you."

Jimmy shuddered, recalling the hideous odour that almost made puke his intestines up. He was certain if Tony had really died in the car bombing, he would be a rabid vegetarian for sure. As it was, it was months before he could deal with the smell of cooked meat.

"And as for falling in love with Jeanne," he continued, "as I told you before, you were exhausted physically from working two jobs. Heck when Gibbs was retired,' he held up two fingers of each hand to indicate quotation marks, "you were doing most of the work on the MCRT team because those idiots wouldn't follow orders. But it wasn't just that you were physically exhausted; emotionally, you were betrayed by people you love. Gibbs left you like a shag on a rock, with no word that he was still alive and you were forced to sneak around because of Jenny, with no one to talk to, no one to watch your six. I can't imagine what you were going through."Jimmy frowned, wishing that he could get through to the stubborn special agent that he was human and therefore not some super hero or a robot.

"You were with a woman who finally saw you as you really are, funny and smart, caring and protective. You almost certainly saved her life, that night in the hospital morgue, you know. It wasn't really surprising that you fell for her. You are surrounded by people who have known you for years and still don't see you for who you really are. Nor could they see how much pain you were feeling, in fact they were a large part of creating that pain. You thought that Jenny was your friend and saw the same potential in you that Gibbs had, before he lost his memory. "She used you, DiNardo, knowing how vulnerable you were and knowing that it was against protocol. Cut yourself some slack."

Tony had had this conversation with his friend more than once, but he still couldn't forgive himself for hurting Jeanne. The fact that she hated him, gutted him although he knew he deserved it. At the time, he had been convinced that the best thing was to let her go and hope that she would find someone who really deserved her. It had almost killed him, when she accused him of murder.

To be hated so much by the woman that he still loved and maybe always would, was just so hard to live with. Along with that knowledge, that he had hurt her badly. It wore him down and if it was all that he had to deal with, maybe he could learn to live with it. but it was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg and he felt like he was sailing on the Titanic.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs stared at the corgi crew moving in concert with Ducky, as he strode back toward the Mallard residence, while Gibbs was left to follow along behind, with his tale between his legs. He almost felt like Ducky had put him in the naughty corner and ordinarily, he would be feeling totally pissed at himself for letting someone do that to him. He would also be bent on inflicting revenge upon the individual that had achieved such a rare feat, in the life and times of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Instead, he was feeling very, very small. And Ducky damn him, was right; there really wasn't any excuse, for some of the mean things he had done to DiNozzo.

Sure he was an evil tempered bastard and when he was focused on a case, his amped up, snarling, demanding temper tantrums made his usual persona, seem like a teddy bear by comparison. Tony not only watched his six in the field but he also protected Gibbs and everyone else from his evil temper and appalling behaviour when they worked a case, especially one that involved kids. He took all of Gibbs crap, never seemed to bear malice and forgave him every damn time. Hell he looked after him, making sure he went home when he was too obsessed with a case, nagged him to eat, made sure that he didn't have to deal with dumbass LEOs. In hundreds of ways that no one else could he watched his six. Heck not even Gibbs recognised all the myriad ways, DiNozzo looked after his boss.

So why did he take delight in seeing the megawatt grin wiped off the face of his friend and second? Why did he feel a surge of triumph to have finally gotten under the skin of his supposedly, easygoing senior field agent when he successfully drew blood? Sure, DiNozzo would tease him about his age, ex-wives or his eyesight but he was playful, never malicious and the aim was usually to break the ice, relieve tension or get him to crack a smile. The same could definitely not be said about his barbs or those that the team directed at Tony, at times.

He knew they had gone too far with the team dinner, although he didn't realise until part of the way through the damn thing, that Tony wasn't coming, or even invited. He should have done something about that, then and there. He definitely should have prevented them rubbing Tony's exclusion, in his face. Instead he had aided and abetted the junior members and felt a thrill of glee at seeing the momentary sign of raw hurt before Tony's face went blank. God, what sort of a shitheel did that made him? So NOT behaviour becoming of a Marine or a Team leader, that was for damn sure!

Much as he didn't want to face his friend, Gibbs knew that he couldn't run away from Ducky. He had agreed to see this out to the end, but even if he took off now, he doubted he could run away from himself. He was feeling pretty ashamed of himself because he had always prided himself on being a bastard, but a fair and honourable bastard and he wasn't feeling very honourable anymore. He smiled ironically to himself, remembering Ducky's warning that he might not like some of the answers to the questions he posed about DiNozzo. Ducky was right on that score!

Next Chapter: Ducky bowls a series of bouncers plus a googly or two.


	14. Chapter 14

Rating: T

Disclosure: You all know the drill by now.

A/N Sorry for delay. This chapter wouldn't cooperate and is a bit longer than average I'm afraid. Thanks to everyone who reviewed especially to those people who aI can't thank personally. Also appreciate those of you who alerted, faved etc. Had so many and it made my week :) More Ducky and Gibbs in this one.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 14

As he stood in front of the stove, stirring the saucepan and adding a final touch of seasoning to his spicy red lentil soup, Ducky thought about his phone call to his young assistant. He was very pleased and also wryly amused, to hear that the Assistant Chief of Metro PD had already followed through today with an official job offer. Darryl also extended an invitation for Tony and his colleagues to attend a private party at his home, to present his commendation to him; which Ducky thought was a very kind gesture.

James had said the Assistant Chief wanted to hire Tony, to give some training seminars to his detectives and Ducky thought that would be excellent occupational therapy for his friend. It was good to see someone who recognised how gifted the lad was. For all of Gibbs' Rule 5: _you don't waste good;_ Ducky didn't think that Leon or Gibbs was actually following through on that rule all that well.

He also wondered how Jethro would react to the news that Darryl was following up his verbal job offer, with an official one from the Chief of Police. Ducky didn't believe in coincidences anymore than Gibbs did. He questioned if that was one of the reasons why Jethro had surprised him and seemed much more willing to listen, to take on board and to at least consider all of the things that Ducky had thrown at him, thus far. The Medical Examiner was more than a little surprised to have got this far with 'The Talk" as he thought of it. The fact that he was still alive and Gibbs was there still, was rather shocking, he had to admit. Perhaps the last few sessions would go better than he thought.

It seemed that Darryl had torn strips off Leon and Jethro last night at the hospital, although Gibbs hadn't revealed what he had said. Perhaps it was his interest in poaching Anthony and his obvious admiration for his skills that had played their part in Gibbs behaviour, plus the shocking revelations that Senior had been physically abusive to his small son. While Ducky had always had his suspicions, even apart from those that he had, after observing Anthony's X-rays, Gibbs had been totally broadsided by the information. That he missed the signs of physical abuse would bother him, as he tended to regard his gut as omnipotent and all knowing and Gibbs hated it, when Anthony was able to keep him in the dark. So it was likely that he second guessing his infallibility, which might have made him more open to listen to other people, particularly a good friend such as Ducky.

Ducky was sure if it had been anyone other than their young friend, Gibbs would have seen the telltale signs, just as he had. They were all there for anyone to see. The obsessive need to protect the Gibblettes as Abigail referred to the young/junior members of Team Gibbs from Jethro's frequent bouts of explosive wrath. Anthony's desire to please people but most especially Jethro, even when he was being a total tool, was another clue. As was his pathological ability to forgive the worst abuse by his family and friends and his deep seated desire to protect everyone else at the cost of his own wellbeing.

Even the ability that Anthony had, to slip into various personas was disturbingly like a functional form a Dissociative Personality Disorder. Something that was always highly suggestive of severe abuse. While his ability to slip into his different identities was a little scary to the forensic profiler, he knew that up to this point, Anthony was in control and used the skill to simply to fit in or to hide behind. Of course, it also served him well, when dealing with dangerous under cover situations.

Ducky heard the side door open, then softly close and felt the presence of his old friend behind him; interrupting his ruminations. When he turned and looked at Gibbs, he was a little surprised to see that Jethro was having trouble meeting his stare. He was obviously feeling uncomfortable, so Ducky directed him to retrieve the loaf of rye bread from the pantry and slice it in preparation for lunch. A pleasing aroma emanated from the saucepan and he felt his stomach begin to rumble, as he started ladling soup into bowls.

As they set the table, Ducky began to deliver a Sit Rep on what had been happening at the hospital. As he had expected, when Jethro heard about the visit from the Assistant Chief of the Metro PD, he reacted angrily. He clenched his jaw along with his fists and his pupils contracted to pinpoints. Just as Ducky had suspected, Darryl was probably part of the accrual of variables that had built up in the last twenty four hours. All of which had contributed to Jethro opening himself up to the sort of psychological analysis, needed to even begin to fix the situation. While Ducky wasn't sure that Gibbs was capable or would be willing to make the changes required, he did know that unless they tried, Anthony would leave, sooner rather than later.

Ducky decided to talk more informally over lunch. His mother would be back later that day and he knew that it would make it difficult to deal with the really heavy-duty stuff; he had deliberately left until the end. He had done that mostly because he expected Jethro to run out of his home, like the hounds from hell were on his six. Ducky had wanted to get as much bang for his buck, as possible before that happened. Perhaps he was wrong though and Jethro wouldn't bolt when he heard what he had to say.

He noticed that Gibbs took a careful spoonful of soup before swallowing it with a relieved look on his face. He reached for a man sized hunk of bread and dunked it into his soup after slathering it with butter. Ducky frowned at the incautious used of a delicious but dangerous food item full of Trans fatty acid. He shuddered at the thought of the damage it could cause to Gibbs' arteries but he decided to hold his tongue. At least Jethro was going to get lots of healthy fibre from his soup.

He did seem to be enjoying his lunch and Ducky decided that he would introduce Jethro to his morish Dhal recipe with its fragrant aroma of cumin and coriander, that he had picked up on his travels to India. Although Gibbs wasn't a big fan of Indian food, Ducky hoped to slowly convert him because Indian cuisine had much to recommend it for being a healthy way to eat delicious food. His especial favourite Indian dish was probably palak paneer, a spicy dish of spinach and a specialty homemade cottage cheese in a mild curry.

Ducky was getting ready to kick off the next phase of this marathon discussion again, when Gibbs jumped in.

"Don't know why I go for the gut with DiNozzo, especially when he is vulnerable. You're right, there's no excuse. I didn't know that his old man hit him but I knew he's had a pretty shitty childhood, even though he pretends that he is bullet proof. So I can't explain why I am such a bastard to him at times. It's like he just brings out the beast in me but it's not his fault." Gibbs sat with his head in his hands, looking beaten.

"Jethro, I have my own thoughts on that score, but perhaps you might want to think about why Anthony would choose you as his mentor? It might help you to understand what is going on with you both. Just consider it, but meanwhile; let's talk about why I think Anthony may be entertaining thoughts of leaving us. I don't know if he has told you or not, but he asked me to be his medical proxy and emergency contact?"

Gibbs shook his head and looked wounded. "Why did he do that Duck? Obviously I've lost his trust. How did I screw up that badly? Is there something more cuz I can't lose him?"

"My friend, I know how much you hate these sorts of discussions. You don't like to examine your feelings or talk or even have to think about them, so I recognise how uncomfortable you are doing this. But having acknowledged that, what you have to recognise is that since your injury and subsequent retirement, our Anthony has been in a great deal of distress. He has had far too much stress and trauma to deal with and no support from his team. I'm not sure that you understand, exactly how much of a toll the whole La Grenouille mission took from Our Very Special Agent."

Ducky paused to wipe up the residue of his soup with a chunk of bread before continuing. "We both know that after Wendy ripped that lad's heart apart, he was very careful to never make himself vulnerable again. So he become the 'love them and leave them' playboy that everybody sees him as. The first time he had a girlfriend for longer than a week or two, was because she was his target on a long term undercover mission and he couldn't run away from his emotions.

The fact remains that he was so isolated from his teammates, by a combination of them being total jackasses to him and because Jenny ordered him not to reveal his participation to anyone. So that made it even less surprising that he would form an emotional attachment to her. The fact is, that he craves love and affection as much as he fears becoming vulnerable enough to receive it."

"Of course, being so utterly exhausted from trying to do two jobs and hide the fact, made everything so much more difficult for him to deal with, even his feelings for Jeanne. When it all fell apart and everything came out, he tried to beg for your understanding and forgiveness for not telling you about his undercover work. At that time, he also lost the only other woman that he has been close to in a very long time, in a truly horrific circumstance. He was shattered when Paula Cassidy died and it pushed him into making a disastrous commitment to Dr Benoit." Ducky looked at his friend sadly. "It is a pity he couldn't come to you and talk about the loss of those two women who broken his heart."

"He could have come to me, Duck. I had his six."

"Yes Jethro, I can't imagine for a moment what was going through Anthony's mind, in not coming to you for support. I mean when he apologised for keeping you in the dark, you told him it wasn't his fault, that he was only following orders. And your actions proved to him just how much you truly believed that and that you didn't blame him, for not telling you about Rene and Jeanne Benoit."

When he needed to attend a dentist's appointment to have a painful cavity attended to, it wasn't as if you refused to allow him the time off. You would never imply that he couldn't be trusted just because he had hidden his undercover work by using excuses such as medical appointments. And when that unfortunate baby went missing, you weren't out of line by using your highly skilled senior field agent to do scut work calling up former marks to tell them that they had been deceived by that con woman Heidi Campasano, when she posed as their girlfriend."

"So very subtle of you Jethro and even when it became clear that the line of inquiry was a bust, you still couldn't let him off the hook because of course; he needed to be taught a lesson for deceiving his team mates and leader. Why would he be reluctant to come to you and lay bare his broken heart, so you could stomp all over it? I simply can't imagine what he was thinking."

"And Anthony not coming to you for help also couldn't have anything to do with the fact that when push came to shove, you chose to protect Mike Franks when he assaulted Anthony and ran away from protective custody so he could kill that thug Arcady Kobach, either. No need to look so surprised, Jethro. Anthony figured it out pretty quickly even if he didn't confront you. Even though you broke Rule One, I'm sure that had nothing to do with him feeling like he couldn't reach out to you. It isn't as if something that minor; might make him question your loyalty to him, is it?"

Ducky scowled at the thought of how badly the team had reacted to the fact that Tony had managed to mislead them about his undercover activities. "Ziva and McGee were very unhelpful too, I'm afraid. They didn't like how easily he had managed to fool them. And Anthony knew what you thought of his relationship with Agent Cassidy. He wouldn't open himself up to a Rule 12 lecture, so he bottled up all his emotional pain, even when Jeanne decided to get a little payback and accuse him of murder."

Jethro, you can tell yourself that you don't blame Anthony for following Jenny's orders not to tell you or anyone else what he was doing, but Anthony is not a fool. He knows that it simply isn't true."

"You saying I lied, Duck?" Gibb's growled dangerously.

"Yes Jethro, I guess that is what I'm saying; mostly to yourself though. If you didn't blame him, you would have been there for him. Not coming up with a juvenile punishment that was a waste of his talents, as well as cruelty beyond comprehension to that lad who would walk over razor blades barefoot if he thought it would win your approval. Was it really the best use of his talent? I certainly don't think that it was in any way helpful for him. He was desperately trying to deal with the terrible consequences that the mission cost him."

"Keep on telling yourself you weren't furious because he didn't ignore Jenny's orders and spill his guts to you, when you decided that drinking yourself senseless on the beach in Mexico wasn't all you thought retirement would be. At least you can be proud that while you failed abysmally to engender in Timothy and Ziva a respect for following anyone else's orders, other than your own, Anthony had learnt all too well about the chain of command and following orders.'

"So well in fact, that it put his life on the line and cost him a great deal of pain. Then he was punished for it by his team leader. I also believe that had you bothered to notice how exhausted he was and asked him what was going on, he might have given you a clue."

Gibbs jumped up and paced furiously in the kitchen, his face dark red, headed towards purple and the vein above his right eye, began pulsing. Ducky regarded his friend dispassionately. He was immune to Gibbs' evil temper but he did wonder if he should be concerned that Gibbs might stroke out.

"Would it make you feel better if you took a swing at me, Jethro?" he asked, following a gut instinct and hoping that the former Marine wouldn't take him up on his offer.

Gibbs stared at him in shock but it had the effect that Ducky was hoping for. It had disrupted his furious anger and hopefully, the rapid rise of blood pressure.

"Well then Gunny, you'd better drop and give me twenty. Or do some relaxation exercises before you have a brain infarct."

Gibbs gave a low growly bark that Ducky took to be a chuckle. Evidently he was amused that Ducky could swing from sounding like a DI to shrink in the space of a hair's-breath. Whatever it was, it had worked and Gibbs began to breathe again and lost the alarming appearance that his head was going to explode like an over ripe watermelon.

"Ya really want me to drop and give you twenty Duck?" Gibbs asked sarcastically.

"Well no, not really Jethro. The point of the exercise was to curtail your uncontrollable surge of adrenaline which accompanied your rage. I do believe that we have achieved that objective and I'm going to make you a cup of coffee. Then I suggest that you go home and get some rest."

"Not done yet Duck! You still haven't told me why DiNozzo asked you to be his medical proxy, instead of me. You said recently? So if it was me being a bastard over losing Jeanne, he wouldn't have done it before now. So there's gotta be more to it."

"Jethro, it's been a long night, a long morning too for that matter and I think that you have had enough. I don't want push you beyond your limits." Ducky frowned at Gibbs, concerned that his notoriously short temper would cause apoplexy.

"Ya saying that I can't handle the truth, Duck?" Gibb's deadpanned at his friend.

"Ducky smirked. "Anthony would appreciate that line, I'm sure. I am concerned however, about your ability to control your temper and your blood pressure. I am anxious that you might stroke out, to be honest, my friend."

"Not a quitter Duck. Gotta know why he doesn't trust me to be his proxy anymore. Can't fix it, otherwise."

Ducky could hear the anger, hurt and desperation in Jethro's tone and he gave an exasperated sigh. "Have it your own way, my dear fellow, but you know, for such an apparently brilliant investigator, you can be thick as a brick, when it comes to Anthony. Surely you must have some idea about what was the proverbial straw?"

Ya know Duck, ya keep on making these cryptic comments like when it come to DiNozzo, or that I have some special power to inflict pain on him, or that I'm blind when it comes to him. For Pete's sake Duck, stop beating round the bush and spit the damn thing out already!"

"All in good time my friend, all in good time. Are you sure you want to continue because you won't like this, you know."

Gibbs grimaced, "don't wanna Duck, but I gotta see it through."

"Fine but I reserve the right to stop this if I think you are getting too upset, Jethro. While he never said straight out why he wanted me to be his new proxy, it was fairly obvious. It was about a week after Domino."

What the hell's that got to do with anything Duck?" Gibbs asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.

Ducky balled his fists, frustrated that anyone could be so dense."Oh, I don't know Jethro. It couldn't be that you broke Rule number one, again, or the fact that he feels like you don't trust him anymore, especially after what happened to Jenny and the fact that he blames himself for her death and knows that you do too."

He took a breath and continued. "Or that blind Freddy could have predicted that Ziva would disobey orders and engage the Marines guarding Domino when she was threatened, so why the hell didn't you anticipate that? Since in fact, you knew all along that they would be apprehended. Or the fact that Abby and I were read in on the situation but Anthony wasn't, or that by him not knowing what was really going on, he and Ziva were injured and could have been seriously hurt. Or the fact that the person he most trusted, did the same thing to him that Jenny did, when she manipulated him into working undercover for her own personal agenda. Perhaps you'd like to pick one, Gibbs?"

Gibbs just stared at him dumbstruck. "That's what the proxy was about? But he knows I didn't tell him because I couldn't take the chance that Lee would find out. He's a professional. He needs to suck it up, Duck. Stop his snivelling!"

"Is that so Gibbs? You really expect me to believe that he would pose even a negligible threat to the mission by knowing the truth? The Agent who when he was still just a rookie cop, was undercover within Philly's main Mafioso family without backup for almost a year, before bringing the whole kit and caboodle down? The agent who as you just pointed out is a professional, who was able to fool the elite members of NCIS' Major Case Response Team with the highest closure rates in history?

You really think that that rationale will fly when Abigail was in the know and she can't lie straight in bed to save her life? She was acting so suspicious, it was the talk of the water cooler, and even naive young Mr Palmer who isn't exactly known for his sharp observational skills, knew that something very odd was going on? You really think that Anthony would have been anywhere near as obvious as our young Goth was? Even if I believed that for a minute; and I don't, Anthony is nowhere near that gullible, I'm afraid."

"It WAS need to know Duck and DiNozzo DIDN'T. He knows how it is. He worked the La Grenouille mission."

"Ah yes and therein lies the crux of the real issue, Jethro because he was ordered not to reveal what he was doing by the Director when she didn't want anyone to interfere with her personal vendetta, although he had no way of knowing that. He trusted her. You on the other hand, were not told to keep your team in the dark. It was your decision alone, and Anthony believes that there are only two explanations for you, not to trust him with the truth. Either it was payback for him obeying Jenny's orders and you don't trust him because he didn't tell you about her undercover mission; or it is because you blame him for Jenny's death."

Ducky gave his very dear friend a scathing glare. "I have to say Gibbs; that I'm leaning towards a combination of both. Your almost triumphal expression when you admitted that it was you and not Director Vance that made the decision not to tell him that the war game was all a set up; was pretty damning. You were so damned proud of yourself and you enjoyed letting him know he'd been duped. Now maybe you can tell yourself that you did it for a greater good and maybe it helps you live with yourself, but you are only fooling yourself. Anthony knows better, which is why he no longer trusts you to make decisions for him anymore. No doubt it is a large part of why this time, he is contemplating taking up one of those job offers."

Next Chapter: Gibbs battles a unstoppable force and gets his butt whooped by Black Lung.


	15. Chapter 15

Rating: T

Disclosure: Not mine apart from my plot and OCs

A/N Thanks once again for all the reviews especially those people who I couldn't thank personally as well as people who alerted. Nice to know people are enjoying my efforts. :)

Thanks to BuckeyeGirl00000 for beta reading this story and for giving assistance with the idea about Officer David's military service. Have tweaked bits so any errors are down to me!

Have changed the rating on this story because it didn't end up being a graphic as I thought. One word of warning about this chapter. There is one descriptor which possibly might offend some people. It comes when Gibbs is thinking about Darryl, so you might want to skip over that bit if you are easily offended.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 15

Gibbs' breath was heaving, as he pushed his body in order to continue the punishing pace that he had set himself after leaving Ducky's house in such a hurry. He had headed home to change into his running gear so he could burn off the anger that had been steadily building, since he had heard that DiNozzo had been shot in that damned robbery. Then bam, all of a sudden, he found that his SOB of a father wasn't just the alcoholic, emotionally abusive tyrant that he'd always believed him to be. Senior had committed the ultimate crime, as far as Gibbs was concerned. He had hurt his own kid, had put him in hospital at least once and there was one thing that Gibbs knew about abuse. It wouldn't have just been a one off situation.

How the devil had he missed the signs and how had DiNozzo managed to successfully lie about it? Why the hell was he angry with DiNozzo, when it was Senior that had been such a bastard? To say he was drowning in confusion about his feelings would be a gross understatement. All of which was why he thought that a long punishing run might stop his thoughts bombarding and overwhelming him.

Although, he had to say that even when he had pushed himself beyond his usual running pace and kept it up until every muscle was screaming uncle as the lactic acid built up in his body; it didn't actually give him any respite from his thoughts. He knew he was being weak for running away from the discussion that he had insisted he could handle. He simply couldn't take Ducky's brutal demolition job, of all his careful constructed rationalisations for the way he had behaved. For each argument that he had offered up, Ducky had cut him off at the knees, until his justifications rested on increasingly shaking foundations as tenuous as shifting sand dunes during a desert storm.

As a Marine, he was trained to resist brainwashing and interrogation techniques and yet he couldn't stop his friend's words from coming back to bite him on the butt. A small voice inside his head, whispered that it was because Ducky was right but Gibbs pushed that voice firmly into the background, so he could ignore it. Gibbs had to hand it to the forensic profiler. He hadn't wanted to continue their post mortem but Gibbs had insisted he could handle the truth and once he had been persuaded to carry on, Ducky sure hadn't pulled his punches.

It also hadn't escaped his notice that towards the end, before he took off, Ducky had started calling him Gibbs which was a clear indication that Ducky was pretty pissed at him. Once again, he recalled Ducky warning him about opening this can of worms and not liking what he learnt. Damn it, the man had been right and Gibbs had been so arrogantly sure that there was nothing that Ducky could throw at him; that would or could make him uncomfortable.

The really crappy thing was even now, after he had beat a cowardly tactical retreat in spite of swearing to himself and Duck that he could handle the truth, that he was still hearing Ducky in his head. Every time he came up with a reason why he was justified in keeping the details of Domino from DiNozzo, it was like Ducky was there, pointing out the fallacy in his argument.

_Damn it Duck, I didn't tell him because Langer was my agent too; my responsibility and I owed it to him to make sure that I caught his killer and cleared his name. I let him down when I believed he was the mole and didn't investigate properly. No one deserves to be wrongly accused of being a traitor when they can't defend themselves._

_Ah yes dear boy, of course you had a responsibility to him but that didn't absolve you of your responsibility to the man who has been your stalwart for the last eight years, does it? Or that telling Anthony the truth would not have, in any way, made it more difficult to achieve that end. He is an extremely experienced and capable senior field agent after all._

_But Ducky, Lee was a killer. She'd already killed once and wouldn't have hesitated to kill again. I didn't want DiNozzo to die either. I was protecting him and the others._

_You can't really believe that, Jethro? Agent Langer died when Agent Lee got the drop on him because he didn't suspect her. He wasn't prepared for a homicidal colleague and so she was able to surprise him. Forearmed is forewarned, so they say. How was going in blind, a logical or effective way of protecting Anthony? You know how inquisitive he is. He was just as likely to see something hinky and not rest until he investigated._

_Furthermore my old friend, if you honestly believe that you have to protect your second in command, by keeping him in the dark when there is danger, then you either need to retire or reassign him to a different team or fire him. As you pointed out he is a professional and if you don't think he is capable of doing his job, then it is time that one of you leaves or transfers off the team." _

_Aghh damn it Duck! Get out of my head. This is why I hate shrinks so much. You get into my head and I can't get you out._

Gibbs decided to head back to the house for a shower and quick change of clothes, before heading to the hospital to check on DiNozzo. If he kept busy enough, hopefully he could keep his subconscious from projecting a Scottish born forensic profiler as his devil's advocate. Distraction would prevent him from posing all the doubts and irrationalities that he hadn't even been aware of, before Ducky had started screwing with his head. It made him feel like he was going crazy and that was an extremely foreign and totally unwelcome state, to the Special Agent.

When he arrived at the hospital he found to his irritation, that his senior field agent had already discharged himself AMA so he drove over to DiNozzo's apartment, trying to still the dialogue that was going on in his head

_I don't blame him for Jenny's death, Ducky._

_If that is the case my friend, why did you only contact him while he was Agent Afloat, when you absolutely had to during a case? You knew he was miserable and that he tends towards self flagellation at the best of times? He needed to know that you didn't hate him. _

_I was busy Duck. Doesn't mean I was angry with him._

_So why did you keep putting Abby off each time she begged you to get him home, Jethro? If you hadn't had that case assigned to you, would he be home now? Or was it that Director Vance tried to force you to accept someone else as your senior field agent?_

XXXXXXXXX

Gibbs stood for a couple of seconds deliberating whether or not to knock on the front door of DiNozzo's apartment, before pulling out the spare key he had, to open the door. He figured that if Tony was on his own, he wouldn't be happy to have to get up and answer the door. Of course it simply didn't occur to him that DiNozzo might not be pleased to have him barge in, uninvited and unannounced. He also gave Jimmy Palmer a heart attack as he was coming out of DiNozzo's bedroom, to find the lead agent standing in the hallway.

He knew that Palmer was always nervous around him, hell he got a perverse kick out of scaring the crap out of the kid, who usually looked like he was ready to fill his pants whenever Gibbs scowled at him. He knew he was a bastard but he couldn't help playing head games with Palmer, because it was so much fun. Today though, apart from his usual nervous reaction to Gibbs, he was also surprised and also irritated.

"Special Agent Gibbs, what are you doing here," he managed to force out.

"Just checking in on DiNozzo, Palmer. How's he doing?"

"Yeah sure Special Agent Gibbs. He's sleeping now."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes. Had Palmer just snorted at him? He eyed the tall gangly young ME assistant suspiciously. He was tempted to engage in a head slap but he remembered that he wanted to sound him out about Ducky's account of Tony when he was team leader, so he decided to ignore the snort. He detoured to the kitchen and decided to make a pot of coffee instead, while he waited for DiNozzo to wake up.

After making a cup of coffee and deciding to take one to Palmer too and not knowing how he took it, he left it black. When he went into the living room, he found Palmer sitting playing with some damned video game Wee- box thingy which surprised him.

"I thought it was McGee that was into all that crap, Palmer?" he stated.

"The X-Box you mean? Some of Tony's frat brothers sent it for him when he got shot the last time and was off work for a few weeks. They thought it would keep him from getting bored. He mostly plays the sports games and I use it when I'm here too," Palmer said, only half focused on what he was saying as he played, concentrating on shooting hoops in some basketball game.

Gibbs was curious about how often Palmer was at Tony's apartment. He didn't realise that the pair was all that close but then Ducky had said that he was DiNozzo's support system, when he was leading the team. Taking that into consideration, plus the snort when he had enquired about Tony's condition, he decided his normal method of relating to Palmer, might make it very difficult to extract information from him. He suspected that the kid would not be exactly forthcoming and he might need to use some finesse, for a change.

The mind games that he enjoyed playing with the gullible assistant while a lot of fun, would probably make it impossible to get information out of him. He thought of how adept DiNozzo was, at getting people to talk who were reluctant, shy or just didn't want to talk. While flirting was an essential part of his repertoire, he frequently also used his ability to seamlessly slip into social groups, to acquire information from people who often didn't realise that they were revealing, until it was too late.

When they had been investigating the case of the exploding ambulance and the body of Marine Lance Corporal William Danforth, Tony had used his unorthodox methods to join in with a basketball game with other Marines in his unit. While Gibbs interviewed the Lance Corporal's CO, his senior field played ball while he interviewed his fellow Marines. So although it looked like DiNozzo was goofing off in his usual fashion, he was using his chameleon like ability to question and size up potential witnesses and suspects.

His maxim was always that you catch a lot more flies with honey when it came to gathering information, while Gibbs' maxim most definitely was the carrot and the stick approach. And ninety nine percent of the time, Gibbs favoured the stick to get what he wanted. The carrot was saved for very special circumstances such as traumatised children and grieving wives. Since Palmer didn't fit either criteria for the carrot and he wouldn't respond well to Gibbs stick, he decided to take a leaf out of his senior field agent's book and try and milk Intel from Palmer by playing the stupid Nintendo-DS basketball game.

"So Palmer; always wanted to learn how to play that thing. Ya think I could learn, while we wait for DiNozzo to wake up?" he asked casually.

"Umm I guess so Special Agent Gibbs, if you want. Although you don't have to wait, you know; he could be out for a while. I gave him the maximum dose of his pain meds after he went to bed. He shouldn't have been out of bed and when we got here, the lift was out, so we had to take the stairs. He was exhausted when he got here and in a fair amount of pain."

Gibbs scowled at the thought of DiNozzo struggling up three flights of stairs with a bullet wound in his thigh. He was such a stubborn SOB when it came to staying in hospitals. The idiot had probably overdone it trying to come home so soon.

"That's ok Palmer, I don't mind waiting." He ignored the look of dismay and irritation on Palmer's face. "I'm expecting Ducky to get here sooner or later and we can get some takeout for dinner. Doubt DiNozzo's got any actual food in the place. Let's shoot some hoops while we wait." Hopefully, he'd get a chance to have a private conversation with DiNozzo, when he woke up, so he could put a stop to his talk of resigning.

So while playing Gibbs at one on one, Palmer was comprehensively grilled about what had gone on while he had run off to Mexico and left his team without warning. While Gibbs really enjoyed using his bastard death stare and histrionics to extract information out his unsuspecting prey, he had to admit that DiNozzo's unorthodox methods were pretty damned effective too. He would have enjoyed himself, except that the hapless Palmer had spilled his guts and confirmed everything about his team's treatment of the new team leader, when he had left so hurriedly.

It was pretty damning stuff and the realisation that he, after sixteen years in the Marine Corps had created a team that had no respect for the concept of chain of command was a bitter pill to swallow. If that wasn't bad enough, the fact was that Ziva had also completed mandatory service in her country's military as did every young Israeli citizen and McGee had grown up as a naval brat whose father was an Admiral. If anyone should respect the chain of command, it should be them and not the ex cop who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

And to add insult to injury, the awkwardly geeky young Jimmy Palmer, whooped his virtual butt on the basketball court.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs sat at the table with the rest of his team, eating dinner that Abby had cooked. Normally he enjoyed it when Abby cooked her Cajun dishes, but he was feeling frustrated and grumpy. His plan to talk to DiNozzo had been thwarted by the arrival of Abby with dinner. She had also called Ziva and McGee and insisted that they all congregate for a team dinner. Ducky also arrived a short time later, to check up on Tony and they'd exchanged a speculative look that made Gibbs antsy.

Of course his mood hadn't been helped earlier when they had been sitting around while Abby had been heating up her concoction. There was a pile of magazines on the coffee table that Ziva picked up and was going through idly. McGee smirked when he saw the titles.

"Where'd they come from?"

Jimmy looked across at them. "Umm Darryl brought them to the hospital," he muttered.

Ziva immediately pounced on that piece of information. In her way, she was just as obsessed with knowing everything about Tony as he was about her and the other members of the team. "Who is Darryl? I do not believe that Tony has ever talked about him before."

Ducky picked up the magazines and nodded approvingly. "Darryl made some good choices. Shows he is a shrewd judge of character. He is the Assistant Chief of the Metro PD, Ziva."

"McGee smirked, "he obviously doesn't know Tony, because he would have bought him some skin magazines instead of American Cinematography. Come on, really."

Abby came in to listen to the conversation after hearing mention of the Assistant Chief's name. "What did Darryl want Jimmy?"

"He came to invite Tony and the team to a party at his place next Saturday to celebrate his commendation, Abby. He also dropped off an official job offer."

Abby looked worried as she wrapped her arms around herself. She crossed, to perch on the arm of the chair where Gibbs was sitting with a scowl on his face.

"He won't leave us will he Bossman? I know he gets lots of offers but he won't accept this one, will he Gibbs?" she asked him, obviously remembering like he was; the words that had been spoken about resigning. Before he had a chance to answer, Abby was off on a tangent again.

"I mean, I know he gets heaps of job offers all the time, but he never considered them before. Of course that was before the director sent him away from his family. And he hasn't been the same since then, but he wouldn't leave would he, Gibbs?"

Wait, Tony gets job offers, Abby?" Ziva interjected. "Who would want to hire him?"

"Probably from people who like campfires," McGee joked.

Abby glared at McGee before answering. "Sure he does Ziva. He and I have an ongoing bet to see who get the most each year. Every six months we tally up and the loser has to buy the winner dinner... and before you ask, I buy dinner as much as he does. And while you might not like his campfires Timmy, the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security and all the rest of the agencies and police departments have all tried recruiting him. He even had a head hunter from British MI6 chasing him."

Ducky chuckled, indulgently. "Indeed Abigail, he was quite intrigued by the notion of being a real life James Bond. I really thought he might accept that offer."

McGee obviously couldn't believe his ears. "MI6, why would they want to recruit Tony, for Pete's sake?"

"Well Timothy, apart from his skills as an undercover operative, he is half English of course. The Paddington family is very well connected, back in the old country. Having someone of his family background not to mention his skills and experience would be quite a coup." Ducky explained brusquely. Gibbs thought that he was probably wishing he could reach over and shake the junior agent for his snotty attitude.

Gibbs sat seething because he didn't like anyone trying to poach what he saw as his; and DiNozzo belonged to him. A part of him realised that though he had been surprised to learn that Tony had been getting job offers, he was totally pissed that DiNozzo hadn't bothered to tell him. Used to be, his senior field agent, no his friend, would tell him everything. When had that stopped and why the hell hadn't he noticed? He supposed it was after he had blown them all off when he lit out, to stay with Mike Franks in Mexico and come back just as abruptly.

It also hurt damn it, to know that Ducky and Abby knew all about his job offers and probably Palmer did too, as he didn't seem surprised by the information and yet he, Leroy Jethro Gibbs who was meant to be all-seeing-all knowing, was totally clueless. Hell even that arrogant prick of a cop, knew about the attempts to steal him away. It made Gibbs feel like a fool and if there was one thing he didn't like, it was looking and feeling foolish. He wasn't surprised that people wanted to steal DiNozzo, now that he thought about it. Fornell was always making threats, even though he seemed to enjoy yanking Tony's chain in the bull pen.

Clearly though the two junior members of the team, looked shocked to hear about it because they didn't understand exactly how good their senior field agent truly was. Ziva had always been contemptuous of the cultural aspects of the United States, having grown up in a country that was effectively on terrorist alert most of the time and not exactly the most secular of societies. DiNozzo had an unerring knack of playing up to the stereotypes of Cate and Ziva of a rich frivolous playboy chauvinist to piss them off and both women fell for the superficial ruse and frequently didn't bother to look beyond the act.

McGee, had always been just a little too ready to tell everyone about his degrees, even when he was a green as grass probie. Gibbs actually found it pissed him off, a bit because he had been off serving his country and never got a chance to get a fancy degree. Not that he regretted it of course but he didn't like to feel stupid and McGee had a knack of making him feel like an uneducated clod. He still couldn't figure why DiNozzo had downplayed his own degrees by focusing on his physical education background, but then he had been equally reluctant to let Cate know that he was also had training and experience in profiling. Although he had slipped once when he got mad and yelled it out to her, even if she hadn't picked up on it.

But McGee wasn't the only highly educated individual in the agency. Hell Abby was a prime example, having at least one doctorate in forensic science. Many people with her educational qualifications; would properly insist on being addressed as Dr Scuito but he doubted that most people knew just how many degrees the lively Goth possessed. But like Gibbs and DiNozzo, she never felt like she needed to flaunt her qualifications or expertise. Abby also believed like her two favourite guys, that actions spoke louder than words.

DiNozzo had always argued that McGee must be fairly insecure, if he had to constantly beat people over the head about his education. Since the team had reformed again, McGee's hubris and arrogance had been dialled up to an intolerable degree. Evidently his months down in the basement with the other cyber geeks had done wonders for his insecurities but if he didn't get a dose of humility, pretty damn quick, then Gibbs was going to take a great deal of satisfaction from slapping him down, real soon.

Gibbs realised that there was a lot of ground to cover to try to get his team back on track. The first step was going to persuade DiNozzo not to pick up sticks and leave. He knew that it wasn't going to be an easy task either; DiNozzo was probably even more stubborn than him.

Next chapter: Butterfly ears, head rubs and rissotto, plus Bernie Taupin and Elton John.


	16. Chapter 16

Rating: T

Disclosure: Don't own them 'cept Darryl, Dana, Marion, Henri and Chloe :)

A/N Again thank you for all the reviews especially those people I couldn't reply to. Thanks to to the faves and alerts and to all the lurkers out there. Had over 6000 hits for the last chapter so hi to those people too. Feel free to review, I don't bite LOL. I enjoy reading your points of view so much :) Big thank you to BuckeyeGirl00000 for casting a Beta eye over the chapter!

This chapter is slightly shorter than usual as I ended up splitting the chapter in two. Enjoy :D

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 16

Marion dropped her handbag on the hallstand and hung up her coat, before sinking down on the sofa. She was exhausted by all that had occurred since she went on duty last night. She really needed to get some rest, but although her NA meeting and breakfast with her sponsor had soothed her somewhat, she was still too wired to sleep. She felt a gentle caress against the back of her hair and turned her head to find herself looking into a pair of calm topaz eyes.

She reached up and stroked the velvety soft fur of her lilac tortoiseshell cat Chloe, before inviting the Burmese to sit on her lap. Chloe leaped down with the subtle grace of her breed and proceeded to worship Marion and purr comfortingly in her ear. Chloe was her special friend, given to her as a birthday gift by Dana a few years ago. The unconditional love that Chloe lavished upon her was something that Marion appreciated so much. The energetic feline frequently made her laugh at her antics and she appreciated having something warm and snugly to share her bed with, at the end of a long shift.

Marion had never owned a pet before, but Chloe's love and ability to make her feel better, had convinced her to adopt another four footed friend. One of her patients who was dying and had no one to look after her beloved little Papillion, had pleaded with Marion to take in the tiny dog until she could find a good home for him. The Papillion, with his silky soft fur and long pointy ears shaped like a butterfly's wings, from whence the name of his breed originated, had initially been terribly withdrawn and depressed at the loss of his special human. As he slowly overcame his grief, Henri slowly wormed his way into Marion's heart and she decided she couldn't give him up.

Luckily, Chloe had taken the sad little waif under her wing, although there was no doubt who was the boss in their relationship. They even played fetch together with Marion, each waiting and taking a turn when she threw Chloe's favourite soft furry toy mouse. Apparently Burmese were one of the most dog-like of cat breeds and the gentle Papillion had lucked out when he found himself foisted upon Chloe and Marion. It wasn't unusual to find the lilac tortie and the little black and white dog curled up together on the sofa or Henri's basket.

She looked around, wondering where the little dog was. Even when he was outside, he usually heard her come home and flew through the pet door to lavish doggy kisses all over her face. Marion rose and checked her pocket-sized back garden, but there was no sign of the small ball of mischief. She checked the hook where she always kept his leash, relieved to see that it was missing too. Marion paid one of the tweens in her street to walk the little dog once a day when she was working. Leticia must have decided to take Henri for a walk, so she decided to wait up until her little boy was back from his walk, before heading for bed.

She had promised Dana she wouldn't try to see Tony and her sponsor had suggested that she write him a letter. Marion decided that the longer that she put off writing that letter, the harder it would be to write. So she switched on her computer so she could compose what would probably be the hardest letter she would ever have to write. Although she would draft it on her computer, when it was done she intended to handwrite it because a printed missive seemed much too impersonal for her taste, considering the circumstances. If she couldn't deliver the apology in person, a proper old fashioned handwritten letter was the only acceptable substitute.

Marion picked up a CD, glancing at it before slipping it into the CD player so that the empty apartment was filled with soothing sounds. She listened to the familiar music and was transported back to a much less complicated time in her life. The CD, the Best of Elton John was definitely an oldie but a goodie.

She had always thought that the collaboration of Bernie Taupin and Elton John had produced some classic music which stood the test of time, even into a new millennium. It was a shame when their partnership dissolved. Truthfully, Marion had little patience with most of the music from the last decade or two and generally listened to older music from the seventies or eighties. These days she was developing an appreciation for classical music too.

Marion finally sat down and began to type, her forehead wrinkled in concentration as she tried to express a lifetime of regret in a short piece of prose. Where was Bernie Taupin when you needed him?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony struggled to the front door of his apartment on his crutches. Ducky had called to say he was on his way over with some food and would also give him a medical check up. Hopefully he wouldn't give him a hard time about taking his painkillers. He had decided to hold off taking them until after Ducky's visit. It wasn't as if he got off on pain, just that he hated the effect that pain meds had on him. Knowing that Ducky was coming over; he didn't want to be gorked out of his brain during the visit. He was already climbing the walls with boredom, so he was looking forward to some friendly company. He would take them later tonight when he went to bed.

Although he wasn't likely to bring him pizza, Ducky had promised he would bring something from his favourite Italian deli. If truth be told, his pizza obsession was a like lot many of his other affectations, which included drinking himself stupid. As a child of two alcoholics, he rarely drank that much but was adept at looking like he drank like the average agent or cop. While he did enjoy eating pizza, he enjoyed a home cooked meal a hell of a lot more. Ducky of course, played along with the illusion that he would pout at not getting to eat pizza for dinner because he knew that Tony enjoyed some authentic Italian cuisine a lot more.

Sure enough, when he had heard the doctor's familiar knock on his front door, he had heaved himself up from the sofa and limped over using one crutch and opened the door. He sniffed appreciatively as he attempted to guess what Ducky had chosen. "Mmm... minestrone soup and pumpkin and chicken risotto, Ducky?" He grinned at his favourite doctor.

"Very impressive, Anthony. Your sense of smell is almost as acute as your eyesight and hearing. I trust that that is acceptable?"

"That smells really great. Let's eat first and do the poking stuff later." He hobbled into the kitchen to organise plates, cutlery and grate some fresh parmesan cheese. He called out to his guest, "you want to grab some Perrier water Ducky?"

As they sat at the dining table, Ducky reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope before he placed it beside Tony's bowl of soup. When he raised an eyebrow and looked at the medical examiner, questioningly, Ducky looked at him nervously.

"It's a letter from Marion Whitaker, the nurse from the hospital the other night and..." he trailed off, hesitantly. "It's up to you Anthony. You don't have to read it, if you don't want too. All I did was promise to give it to you. There is no obligation to read it."

Tony picked it up and stared at it, before putting it down again without opening it. The signs of strain were evident as he recalled the events in the hospital a few days ago and his emotional collapse in front of his friends. It was also an unwelcome reminder of what had caused that meltdown. Abby had been unusually patient with him so far but he knew that sooner or later she would expect an explanation.

"How are your Halloween nightmares Anthony?" Ducky asked softly.

Tony shot him a speculative glance. "Ah, I have had a few bad dreams about the Zombie and the Ghoul, Ducky. Not that big a surprise really. No doubt the shrink will want to delve into that, before they sign off on my return," he said guardedly.

"Hardly surprising at all, dear boy but that is not the nightmare that concerns me the most. I am talking about the one when you received the injury that landed you in St Francis's when you were a lad." Ducky probed gently.

Tony dropped his gaze, suddenly finding the cannelloni beans in his soup to be worthy of minute examination. "How do you know about that Ducky?" he managed in a strangled croak.

Well, you had a rather bad one when you were coming out of the anaesthetic the other night, Anthony. It was quite distressing for us to watch, so I can't really imagine how bad it must have been to endure it. Do you have it often?"

Oh crap! Now Gibbs knows just what a pathetic weakling I was back then, no wait, still am, he corrected himself silently. He stole a glance at Ducky but only saw concern, not pity in his eyes. He hated that when he was under the influence of drugs, he couldn't control his whining and treacherous mouth. He tried so hard to maintain control all the time and now he had blown it. It was bad enough for Marion to have given them details of his injury. He knew that dream well and how it made him feel. He had often woken up crying for his mother or pleading with Senior not to hurt him.

He had even had it once or twice when he was asleep at his desk, when they pulled all-nighters. He'd had to employ every trick he learnt over the years, to not give away just how much it always shattered him, to relive that terrible time. Knowing that he hadn't been able to censure his behaviour and Gibbs had witnessed it, made him cringe with embarrassment at the thought of how pitiful he must have been. It also explained a hell of a lot about Gibbs behaviour when he had called in to 'talk' the night before.

Using the only weapon in his arsenal that he felt up to pulling off right now, Tony morphed into the carefree clown that was just like a second skin. "Wow Ducky, hope I didn't give you nightmares," he joked.

The look that Ducky gave him, told him that he knew Tony was hiding, but that he wouldn't call him on it. Ducky was great like that. He always knew; when he needed to maintain one of his created personas in order to stop himself from falling apart. It didn't mean that he didn't let him know that he saw through his nonsense though. The result was that Tony often felt comfortable enough to let down his masks when they were together.

Deflecting again, he busied himself, plating up the risotto before handing Ducky the bowl of freshly grated parmesan cheese. He took a mouthful of the creamy smooth rice dish which like everything else from his favourite Italian deli was delicious and authentic, yet he had lost his appetite. He managed to eat four or five mouthfuls before giving up the pretence that everything was okay. Ducky frowned and changed the subject.

"Anthony, I hear from James that Darryl wants to hire you to do some training sessions with his detectives. That is in addition to his job offer. You certainly made an impression on the Assistant Chief, my boy."

Tony smiled at Ducky appreciatively for the change of topic before replying. "Honestly Ducky, I'm a bit confused about why he would want me conducting training sessions. No one at NCIS has ever suggested that I might have that sort of expertise worth sharing."

"That just means that Darryl Amos is a very perceptive man, Anthony. Anyone with a modicum of sense would recognise how much experience and skills you have to share with your colleagues. I've always admired the way your brain puts together disparate facts and you come up with a way to link them in a unique fashion, which invariably is the key to breaking a case. I would be interested myself in figuring out how you do that, although I fear that it may prove as elusive as Jethro's gut. Unerring but not easily replicable." Ducky smiled a touch wistfully.

"Well Gibbs seems less than thrilled with the idea or maybe he doesn't think I'm up for it. Told me I had a job and needed to focus on it. I guess in addition to not trusting me, he thinks I can't do my job anymore."

Ducky scowled, "I think Anthony, that he is rather afraid that he might lose you to Metro PD and your new admirer, Assistant Chief Amos. You know that he is inadequate when it comes to expressing how he feels about people that are important to him."

"Frankly Ducky, he doesn't trust me and I'm not sure that I can trust him anymore either. And I catch him looking at me like I'm some beaten puppy, whenever he thinks I'm not looking. How am I supposed to do my job when he looks at me and sees me as weak and ineffectual?"

"One minute he is pissed at me and telling me he wished I'd never come back from the Sea Hawk and the next thing he turns up here and tells me 'good job' for the robbery. He spits bullets when I talked to him about those training seminars and then the next thing he is being nice, calling me Tony and telling me I am a vital part of his team."

"If I was such an important part of his team, why did he tie both my hands behind my back, just a few weeks ago when he didn't trust me to perform my job? The only thing that has changed since Domino is Gibbs has found out about my dirty little secret, Ducky." Tony finished his rant and pushed his mostly uneaten risotto away from him and stood up shakily. He grabbed up his plate and limped painfully toward the kitchen, putting his almost uneaten plate of food into the refrigerator, for later. Then he crossed to the kitchen sink before putting the kettle on to boil so he could make a pot of tea for them both.

Next chapter: Does Jethro remind Tony of someone from his past? Also guilt, regrets and forgiveness.


	17. Chapter 17

Rating: T

Disclaimer: My OCs are mine, don't own the rest. Don't profit from them copywrite infringement intended to Bernie Taupin or Reginald Dwight aka Sir Elton John.

A/N So here is the next chapter which is dedicated to AlexDN. I have to issue a warning that this is a very angsty, so if you hate it, it's not my fault because she made me do it LOL. All jokes aside, her suggestions and knowledge are always appreciated. Chapter 18 will be the long awaited get together at Darryl's place and for those people pining for reconciliation between Tony and Gibbs, there will be some movement on that front too.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, alerted and faved. It is great to know, so many of you are following along. I would encourage lurkers to leave a review. It is completely painless, I promise :) Oh and this chapter in not beta'ed so please excuse the errors.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 17

After Ducky had finished eating his meal, he made Tony lie down on the sofa so he could check his incision and do his usual check of his vitals and monitoring of his lungs. He finished his check up and concluded, with his usual mantra of _stay off your leg as much as possible, get plenty of rest and make sure to eat healthily._ Tony could probably recite the lecture in his sleep, but he really appreciated that Ducky cared so much, so he tried not to roll his eyes. He gave Ducky a small smile and promised that he would behave.

Ducky wasn't quite finished with him yet. "Jethro didn't just uncover your secret about your Halloween costume story, you know, Anthony. Assistant Chief Amos took Director Vance and Gibbs to task, about not watching your six properly or appreciating you. I'm not sure exactly what he said to them but Jethro was quite disgruntled. Darryl also offered you a job right in front of the pair and I think that perhaps, that was a wakeup call that he'd been taking you for granted. Sometimes, we need to be reminded, that what we already have, is special."

"Ducky, you don't see the way he looks at me when he is acting nice. He just oozes pity. You know the look and tone, it like when he is dealing with some kid or woman that has been abused or sexually assaulted? He is a different person then, like a freaking alien, not Gibbs anymore and he'll go into uber protective mode and get sort of feral." He paused looking beaten and oh so weary, before continuing, as Ducky stayed silent.

"It makes my skin crawl, when he looks at me like that. I know I'm pathetic and weak, but I hate that he knows it, too now. I can't even pretend anymore. I never wanted any of you to know but I guess _you_ weren't all that surprised, Ducky?"

The older man shook his head, sadly. "I had strong suspicions, Anthony, but you are wrong about being weak or pitiful, my boy. You may have been bruised and bloodied, by what happened as a child, but never broken. You found a way to fight back and do something worthwhile, with your life. You make a difference to other peoples' lives, probably in ways that you can never imagine. Take that Lug Head character as an example; not exactly evolutionary material, there. He might never be a Pulitzer Prize winning author or discover a cure for cancer, but perhaps because of you, he might have an offspring who does. Never underestimate your power to make a difference."

"Ducky, how am I supposed to do my job, when Gibbs doesn't think I can be trusted, to do it? And you know what makes me angry? The fact that, after everything that has happened, I still care what the bastard thinks of me, and I want to make him proud. I thought he would be pleased about the seminars but it made him mad. He probably thinks that I'll mess it up, like everything else or I'll embarrass him." Tony wished that he was able to pace or better yet, go for a run, to get rid all his excess energy.

Ducky stared at him for a while before asking cautiously. "Do you ever wonder why he has so much power over you, Anthony, apart from him being your mentor, I mean."

"I guess because he is such a great investigator Ducky, and he is so strong all the time, no matter what. He never takes crap from anyone, doesn't let anyone push him around... well except for Abby that is. Never ever apologises for any of the crap or times he screws up. I know he isn't infallible but he never seems to let it get to him or have self-doubts. He's got rules to live by and he never gives up on victims... he'll do whatever it takes to get resolution for them, even if he runs himself and everyone else into the ground... he's everything I'm not." The last part was spoken so softly, Ducky wasn't sure if he imagined it.

"Does Jethro remind you of anyone else you know well, Anthony?" Ducky asked very quietly.

"Umm... no, not that I can think of, Ducky. Why?"

"Just wondered, my boy. Did you ever tell anyone, about your father hurting you?" Ducky questioned, even more gently.

"Yeah, I did, when it first started happening. Told Dad's doctor when he came the first few times, to patch me up. He didn't believe me, said I had an overactive imagination, or I was looking for attention, acting out after my mother died. I told my teacher too, when she asked me where my bruises came from. The next day, she was fired and people were saying she was an alcoholic because they '_found_' booze in her desk."

"I liked her Ducky; she was really pretty and was so kind to me when my mother died. After that, I figure out, that it wasn't only going to be me that got hurt if I told on him, so I stopped. Besides, it only made him angrier the next time, so it was easier to keep it secret, to pretend that it wasn't happening." He sighed, wishing that he could still pretend.

Tony was a little surprised, when Ducky stood up and moved over to the sofa, before enveloping him in a fierce hug. Usually he only let Abby offer him physical comfort, but he was surprised to find himself leaning into the older man's embrace, and drawing strength from it. He figured that Ducky was distressed on behalf of his profession, to hear that a doctor, well actually many medical professionals over the years, had turned a blind eye to what was going on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After farewelling his good friend, he considered heading off for a relatively early night in bed, but the letter that Ducky had given him, wouldn't leave him in peace. His conversation with Ducky had exhausted him mentally, but he was probably too hyped up to sleep, just yet. Although Ducky constantly reassured him that none of what had happened, was his fault; that he was a survivor, not a victim, he couldn't help the way he felt.

How many times as a cop and then an agent, had he reassured other survivors of abuse, who he encountered in his job, _that it wasn't their fault and they had nothing to be ashamed of? _Probably hundreds over the years, and even though he hoped that his words had helped them, he couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite. That was because; he knew that those words never made him feel less guilty or ashamed. He should be feeling relief that the two most significant male figures in his life, knew the truth and he didn't have to keep it secret, anymore. It simply wasn't the case, though.

Ducky had been pretty cool, all things considered but Gibbs; he would rather cut off his right hand than have Gibbs find out the truth. Gibbs abhorred weakness and while Ducky had spent hours trying to reassure him that Gibbs still respected him, that wasn't what Tony saw. Hell, even before his boss found out about _his secret _he was always proving how weak he was. He could never fully control his childish habit of apologising for practically existing. When he screwed up, he couldn't stop the sorries from spewing forth from his lips. Each one served to reinforce in him, just how weak he was. And now, in light of the latest revelations, he wondered if it was even possible for them to work together, anymore. After all, things had been very less than fine between them for a while, now.

Tony finally decided to read Marion's letter, rather than brooding over Gibbs. To be honest, he really didn't see what the big deal was. It wasn't as if he had been keeping score of all the people during his childhood, who had suspected that his numerous injuries weren't accidental and walk away. If he had bothered keeping score, he would need a ledger just to keep track of them all. His father had powerful friends and that was just a fact of life.

The only reason, he had reacted so violently to the nurse the other night, was because of the danger she posed to him, in keeping his secret. Of course that and the truly awful memories she had triggered, when he was seriously below par after his nightmare. Hell, he hadn't even recognised her; he scarcely even remembered the nurse, twenty five years ago in St Francis who was there when he woke up, half his body encased in plaster. Frankly, over the years, there were simply too many doctors and nurses and they had long begun to merge into one big, homogenous, blur. No doubt, they had probably contributed to his phobic reactions, to all things medical but it was a collective dread.

Nevertheless, it was obviously important to her, if she had gone to the trouble of writing the letter and giving it to Ducky to deliver. With his incurable, some would say insatiable curiosity; he knew that he wouldn't sleep properly, until he had read the damned thing. Sighing deeply, he drew it out of the envelope and began to read.

_Dear Anthony,_

_This is probably the hardest letter that I've ever had to write. I hope that one day; we might have this conversation, face to face. I do understand if you don't wish to meet with me at this time and I want you to know, that I will respect your wishes. It must have been quite a shock to run into me the other night and I apologise for stirring up, any unwanted memories. I wish that I could go back and have a chance at a do- over because I never meant to upset you._

_You probably are familiar with that Elton John and Bernie Taupin song? Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word..._

_...It's sad, so sad  
Why can't we talk it over  
Oh it seems to me  
That sorry seems to be the hardest word..._

_Well that is really how I am feeling, writing this letter to you. Not because I think that this apology isn't long overdue, or that it isn't richly deserved. It is simply that given the enormity of what I did to you, so many years ago, sorry seems to be such an inadequate thing to offer you._

_Please understand that I am not seeking your absolution, because turning my back on my responsibilities to you, is too serious a transgression. I do hope for your sake, that knowing how deep the regret I have and how much my failure to carry out my duty of care to you, has affected my life, will assure you that I have paid for my neglect of my duties, so many years ago._

_You probably already know, that your father's connections to the Hospital Board of St Francis's, meant that all of the staff were threaten with dismissal and poor work references, should anyone reported your assault without irrefutable proof. As you were obviously afraid to tell the truth, the doctors and nurses were too scared for their jobs to report it to police. The irony is; that after you went home from the ward, I ended up not being able to live with my decision to stay silent, and I ended up leaving._

_Over the years, I've tried to find you; I wanted to apologise and to make sure that you were all right. I never managed to track you down, probably because I was looking for you in New York. As I said, I am not seeking absolution but I did try to atone for what I did or more importantly, what I didn't do. I work with several organisations that help abused children and every time I help a child, I remember a green eyed little boy, who I didn't help. _

_So my hope is that it might help you to know, that there are children out there, who I've helped in your stead. Perhaps it will give some meaning to your suffering, on that Halloween night so many years ago. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and I'm sorry that my colleagues and I let you down so badly._

_Wishing you a speedy recovery from your current injury, and I apologise, for letting your friends know about your secret. It was unprofessional of me and I can offer no excuses, apart from my surprise at finding you again, coupled with my great remorse._

_With deep regret_

_Marion Whitaker RN_

Tony finished reading the handwritten letter, before refolding it and slipping it back inside its envelope. He sat staring at it for the longest time. Regret, shame and intense pain, the emotion literally dripped off the page. It was impossible not to feel sorry for the author, who even after all these years, carried around the burden of a decision made under duress, so very long ago.

He couldn't help but wonder just how much destruction his father's alcoholic binges had wrought on innocent people. He wondered if Marion had a family and if she did; how her guilt had impacted upon them. It made him furious to think about it. After getting his teacher fired, he thought he was protecting others by staying silent but there had been no respite, it seemed. An entire ward of nurses and doctors had been threatened by his father, with his web of powerful contacts.

Tony really wished he was at the gym at work, where he could pound the punching bag for an hour or ten. Instead he settled on attacking his front door with his fists, as it was the only solid core door in his apartment. He pounded relentlessly, until his hands were bruised and bleeding and the physical pain dulled the fury in his heart. It was a lesson he learnt at a young age. That physical pain was a good way to distract him from fear, sadness and desolation that he felt, when the people who were supposed to protect him, were the ones that hurt him.

He thought again, about Marion and her burden of guilt and shame. He knew from experience, how people in the so called helping professions, were at high risk for becoming traumatised, by the work that they performed. One of his earliest partners, a seasoned beat cop back in Peoria, who had taken him under his wing when he was a rookie, had ended up eating his own gun. A thirty year, unblemished career had been for nought when it ended with one tragic error. In a darkened alley late at night, his partner had mistaken a spoon and syringe in perp's hand for a knife, and shot and killed the suspect.

Tony had had his fair share of experiences too, over the years. He had never really been able to forget the terror- filled screams of a dying child, that he hadn't been able to save from a burning building. And he remembered how much guilt he felt when a case he was working on, of a young girl had been kidnapped by a scumbag and had been brutally assaulted, in way no child should ever be.

He had been chasing up on a promising lead, when the Powers That Be at Baltimore PD had called him back to the precinct, for a joint taskforce conference about the case. By the time he had been able to follow up his lead, which proved to be a hot one, the child had been brutally raped by the serial kidnapper. To this day, he castigated himself for not telling his superiors and the Fibbies to go to Hell, since he might have found the little one, before she had been badly hurt by her captor.

He also recalled the many times, he and their colleagues, attended the funerals of people that they hadn't been able to save; despite the fact that often, they hadn't even met the victim or had the most tenuous of connections with them. Sometimes, a paramedic or cop, would arrived too late, to do more than hold someone's hand as they died, far from family or friends. Attending victims' funerals helped give them a small sense of closure, before they had to suck up their guilt and regret, and move on. There was always another case, another victim that needed their help, but it didn't mean that you ever let go of the failures, fully.

If Marion Whitaker needed to meet him personally, to express her apology, who was he, to deny her, such a simple request? It wasn't as if he held out any animosity to her personally, after all. She simply reminded him of things that he would rather forget and she also had seen him at his most vulnerable, both as a kid and not as an agent. If he could grant her a little peace, then it wasn't a huge imposition. He picked up his phone with his bruised hands and awkwardly punched in Ducky's landline number, hoping that he was still up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey there, Ducky, it's Tony here."

"Is there anything wrong Anthony?"

"No I'm fine thanks Ducky, I just wanted to ask for a favour? Can you get in touch with Marion and tell her that if she still wants to see me, then I will do it?"

"Are you really sure about this, my boy. You don't have to do this if, you don't want to." Ducky probed, curious about what was motivating his behaviour.

"Yeah, I have to do this Ducky. My father destroyed this woman's life. She's been carrying around all this guilt for a quarter of a century. How can I begrudge her an hour of my life, if she finds a bit of closure, after all this time?"

Ducky replied, bemused by the turn that the conversation had taken. "Anthony, you are not responsible for your father's behaviour and you don't owe Marion anything either. You are allowed to consider your own wants and needs, before everyone else's' now and again. Your needs are just as important as anyone's."

"Ducky, if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have wasted the last twenty five years, feeling guilty for something that wasn't her fault. Of course, I owe her something."

The medical examiner was speechless. He had expected anger, denial, humour maybe from the young man, but never in a million years was he expecting that Anthony would feel obligated, even guilty about someone, who had let him down in the worst way possible. But then again, given how he always managed to find a way to blame himself for everything, it really shouldn't come as a surprise. Although, taking the blame for being severely injured by Tony's own flesh and blood, really took the cake. He realised that Anthony was still speaking so he tried to concentrate on what he was saying.

"... Um I was thinking of inviting her to the barbeque on Saturday at Darryl's place. He said I could invite people but honestly, I'm not going to ask many people, apart from the team I guess."

Ducky, decided to leave the guilt trip alone for a moment. To be honest, he wasn't even sure how to deal with his friend's pathological ability to forgive people, for treating him inappropriately. Or for subjugating his own wants and needs for other people, even when they were perfect strangers. While empathy was an admirable quality, it was possible, to be too empathetic. He decided to focus instead on something a little more manageable.

"Why would you not want to invite your fellow NCIS agents, Anthony?"

He heard a wry chuckle. "You're kidding right? It would be like inviting the Hatfield clan to the McCoy clan's barbeque. Most NCIS agents have nothing but contempt for cops. Believe me I know. I've heard all the put downs when I first started at NCIS. I have a fair few buddies at Metro and I don't want them embarrassed, Ducky. Just hope Ziva and McGee can show a little respect cuz they have adopted Gibbs attitude to local LEOs and we both know he doesn't exactly hold them in the highest regard."

Ducky had to admit that Anthony had a point. Rivalry between the constabulary and federal agents was a sad fact of life. He hadn't realised though, that his young friend had encountered such hazing when he'd joined the agency. He had certainly played his cards close to his chest.

Next chapter: Cricket tragics, a get together at Darryls' and musings of a mute.


	18. Chapter 18

Ratings: T

Disclaimer: Not mine but I own Stuart, Talia, Dale, Daryl, Jack, Marion and Dana.

A/N Thanks once again, for everyone's reviews, especially the guests and my lurker. Reviews make my day and its fun watching people trying to predict what happens next. Thanks to everyone who alerted or favourite last chapter.

This is the first part of Darryl's little get together for Tony. For those people who want a bit more Gibbs, look out for the next chapter. I think you might enjoy it. :)

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 18

Gibbs watched Tony, definitely disconcerted at the large number of LEOs from the Metro PD, who seemed to be on a buddy basis with his senior field agent. Of course, he was such a gregarious person that he was on first name basis with just about everyone at the Navy yard, too. For someone who had grown up around wealth and servants, he had never seen him pay lip service to any type of hierarchy, at NCIS. He was just as friendly with the janitorial staff, as the field agents and seemed to know all sorts of personal stuff about everyone else at the yard.

The fact that he was so comfortable with all these Metro cops as well made Gibbs' gut ache, fiercely._ Or_ _maybe it's your heart, and it is so atrophied from disuse, you've forgotten what it feels like; _that damned voice inside his head whispered, annoyingly.

He understood, that it would be fairly easy for DiNozzo to make the move, and go to work for the Metro PD, because he obviously felt comfortable with many of the people who worked there. The advantage of joining them, over some other agency or Police Department, would be that Tony could still see his family at NCIS, frequently. Of course that bastard, Darryl Amos was also playing real dirty, trying to lure DiNozzo away from his team. A fact which made Gibbs long to pull out his sig and shoot him, preferably in the balls!

He had come over to DiNozzo, while he was standing around with the team, accompanied by two baby-faced young cops, and introduced them as his most promising rookie Dees, Talia Lopez and Dale Hollister. He then proceeded to proposition DiNozzo with mentoring them, so that they could have the benefit of his impressive investigative skills and experience... blah blah blah. Clearly these two had been primed in advance, as they were already gazing at his senior field agent with awestruck expressions, and they stuttered and stammered, when introduced to Tony.

As crapped off as Gibbs was though, it was almost worth it, to see the shocked expressions on the faces of his two junior agents. McGee choked on his beer and needed to be pounded on the back so he could catch his breath. Meanwhile, Ziva's jaw dropped fractionally, just enough so that a bug could have flown in and she blinked several times in rapid succession. Both of which, were tantamount to a McGee coughing fit, for the normally impassive liaison officer.

DiNozzo seemed genuinely shocked by the request, although he handled the awestruck detectives with graceful understatement. He engaged them in friendly conversation and encouraged them to talk about their experiences, since gaining their gold shields. When they finally moved on with the Assistant Chief, they seemed if anything, to be even more enthralled by Tony and the possibility that he might agree to mentor them.

Gibbs knew that he was going to have to lift his game, if he was going to compete with his adversary and prevent DiNozzo from leaving his team. He just wasn't sure how to achieve that goal, though. It wasn't as if he hadn't tried already. He'd called in twice this week, after work to talk with his senior field agent and try and persuade him not to leave, even if he hadn't actually come out and said so, in so many words. He felt like, if he actually asked him not to leave, it would plant the idea in Tony's consciousness, especially if he had forgotten about what he had said at the hospital.

Even though he had tried to reconnect with his agent, so that he could begin to mend some bridges with him, he had found that he was singularly unsuccessful. He had always felt like he had a good handle on seeing beyond his chameleon-like agent's psyche, yet he found himself struggling to communicate with Tony, who was closed off and highly suspicious. He repelled any close physical proximity and was rigid in his body language. Granted, that every time Gibbs felt irritated with him and went to give him the mother of all head slaps, he would see a small boy, being back handed by his father down a staircase, and he would stop himself in mid slap. DiNozzo no doubt, had picked up on his weird behaviour.

Even when he tried giving DiNozzo praise and told him how important he was to the team's success, he'd been treated with cynicism and anger. Considering, that DiNozzo was normally, obscenely eager to suck up every last morsel of Gibbs' acknowledgement, his rejection of attempts to reassure him of his place in the MCRT, was very frustrating. The visits had deteriorated, with Gibbs becoming increasingly aggravated and taciturn and DiNozzo, withdrawing further into himself. Gibbs felt like DiNozzo was suddenly speaking a totally different language and he didn't know how to breach the gap that had developed between them. If anything, it was growing ever wider, by the day.

Normally, when he was troubled or stymied about things of an interpersonal nature, he would seek advice from his old friend. Unfortunately he had been avoiding Ducky, since he had run out on their discussion last weekend. He had only seen the medical examiner, when they were dealing with matters related to cases. Not that Ducky had been disapproving or sarcastic at all; he had been his normal distracting, eccentric and insightful self, but Gibbs was too pigheaded and embarrassed, to seek him out, for anything more than professional issues. He was ashamed that he had broken their agreement and run off, before Ducky had finished discussing the reasons why, DiNozzo would consider leaving his team.

Gibbs had always prided himself, on his ability to commit and see things through, once he started something. Well apart from his three doomed marriages and a string of fail relationships, that is. So his pride had been severely dented, when he hadn't been able to handle Ducky's analysis of his leadership style and its affects on DiNozzo.

Gibbs wasn't used to running away from his problems, and it galled him no end, that Ducky had given him a get out of jail free card, to halt their damned talk, and he had been the one to insist that they finish it. He had been so smugly certain, he could take whatever Ducky dished up to him. The truth was, that Ducky had been right, and Gibbs was wrong. It made his bile rise up, every time he remembered his less than valiant retreat.

Yet after two failed attempts to mend what was broken in his friendship, with his agent, he knew with certainty, that he needed the sage advice of his friend. Gibbs knew that he would have to swallow his damned, stubborn, pride and approach Ducky for some guidance about what to do about DiNozzo. He was definitely out of his depth, in danger of drowning and if that happened, he would almost certainly lose his agent. He knew his hold on him, was tenuous at best, right now.

He also needed to ask Ducky, why the hell the guy so damned incapable of accepting kindness from him, when he would do so from Abby, Ducky, even Palmer. The moment he tried to offer him some support about the terrible revelations of his father's abusive behaviour, DiNozzo acted like he'd kicked his puppy, shied away from him, then became belligerent. He was at a loss, as to know how to act around him or why DiNozzo was acting so weirdly.

Gibbs knew that Ducky had, in his oh so subtle and excruciatingly, gentle fashion, been building up to some sort of coup de grâce about DiNozzo and his relationship. He'd been dropping enough breadcrumbs along the way, even though he had refused to address it, promising to deal with it later. Gibbs had the uncomfortable feeling that it was going to be something pretty big and considering how much shit he had already heaped on him over his treatment of his partner; he knew it must be a ball breaker.

As much as he didn't want to know, it was looking like if he wanted to salvage their partnership, maybe even save the team, he needed to suck it up and get over himself. They say pride goeth before a fall, and Gibbs had to admit, even if it was only to himself, he was a very prideful man. Time to take a fall for his partner, but he sure didn't have to look forward to the process.

He looked across the manicured lawns belonging to his nemesis and grinned wryly, as he watched Ducky engage a middle-aged detective, in a lively discussion about his beloved game of cricket. Frankly it was a game that Gibbs had never been able to grasp the finer points of, despite enduring a couple of soporific, inducing explanations from his friend. Ducky loved to share his stories of cricket matches dating as far back as his university and Eton days.

Hearing Ducky and the detective, Stuart Kershaw talking about maiden overs, ducks, leg-breaks, googlies, silly mid off and silly midpoint; made a lot of the LEOs curious, even if they almost crapped their pants laughing, at the silly terms. Then someone with perhaps a few too many under their belt, suggest that they should have an impromptu game, it was on.

Stuart Kershaw it seemed, had developed a love of the game, when he worked at New Scotland Yard for a year, during an exchange program. Apparently, on his return from London, he had found some British and Aussie ex-pats with their own social cricket league and he played every chance he could. Providentially, Stuart still had some basic equipment in his car from a game earlier that day. He returned, loaded down with some wickets, batting pads, bats and a shiny red leather cricket ball.

Tony limped over on one crutch and suggested to the two cricket tragics, that they might want to nix the cricket ball and use a softer tennis ball, instead. Looked like he must have played the game, probably at college or during a visit with his English cousins, Gibbs theorized. DiNozzo joked about how much damage a cricket ball could do to property, not to mention certain vulnerable bits of male and female anatomy, without suitable protection. According to Tony, even trying to catch a hard leather ball smarted like all get out, on hands that weren't used to it.

Gibbs watched on, comparing the rules to baseball which was a game that he did understand. Rather than a batter facing a pitcher, there were two batsmen and two bowlers operating alternately ends of a pitch. Instead of the action taking place between a diamond of bases, there was a pair of wickets (three pieces of turned round wooden spikes called stumps with two carved bails resting atop the stumps) situated at either end of the pitch. Runs were scored, by running between the two wickets and grounding the cricket bat down over a line which Ducky referred to, as a batting crease.

Pitchers, who were called bowlers, bowled a series of at least six legal balls, which were delivered over arm, by the bowler who ran up and delivered the ball with their arm straight, at its highest point in the air when the ball was released. Balls were supposed to bounce before reaching the batsman and the aim was to knock over the wicket, while the batsman tried to hit the ball and run down to the other end of the pitch.

Apparently, apart from the bowler knocking over the batsman's wicket, the other most common method of getting a batsman out, was a fielder catching a ball hit by a batsman on the full. Although, a batsman could also be run out, in a similar fashion to baseball, by a fielder throwing down the stumps if the batsman was outside of the batting crease. Instead of a catcher, someone called a wicket keeper, stood behind the stumps/wicket whatever, and tried to prevent the ball going past them, to the boundary fence. Gibbs decided that seeing the game played, it didn't seem half as esoteric as he'd thought.

Ducky and Kershaw were appointed team captains and gave some rudimentary demonstrations to their team mates. Gibbs grinned, seeing Abby and Palmer eagerly volunteered to try the unfamiliar game and join Ducky's team. He looked across and saw Tim and Ziva standing around with a 'deer in the headlight' sort of expression, clearly scared that someone might try and recruit them into the chaos. Tony had offered to be the umpire as he knew most of the basic rules and couldn't actually play. Darryl was persuaded by his underlings, to join Detective Kershaw's team and Gibbs scowled at the cheering and good tempered joshing he engaged in, with his troops.

Abby, quick to pick up on his irritation, called out to him, "C'mon Bossman, we need you too." Gibbs couldn't refuse his favourite Goth anything, and he reluctantly joined her, as she whooped delightedly. Although he was concerned, that he might make a complete jackass of himself, which he hated, he caught DiNozzo giving a rare unadulterated grin. So he decided that if the worst happened, and he ended up on his butt, it was worth it, if his senior field agent could still appreciate his efforts. Gibbs decided to throw caution to the wind and if there was any justice in the universe, 'Darryl -I'm-gonna -try –to- steal- your- agent-Amos' would be out for a duck. He'd learnt, that it meant that the batsman was dismissed without scoring a run, and was considered, the ultimate humiliation.

Ducky and Stuart flipped a coin, to see who would bat first. Kershaw won the toss and decided to bat. Ducky it turned out, was something called a leg spinner which meant that he was a slow bowler who bowled right armed, spinning the ball in the air and when it bounced he managed to make the ball deviate sharply to the leg or left side. His skill with the ball, totally bamboozled the hapless batsman on Kershaw's team and every time he bowled an over, the batsmen tumbled like ten pins at a bowling alley.

Gibbs was hoping fervently, that Ducky would bowl Darryl out without scoring, but Amos managed to take a few runs off the bowler at the other end, before having to face up to Ducky. He produced this totally amazing ball that he later explained was known as a 'googly' which _flummoxed, _Ducky's expression not his, Darryl and he spooned up an easy catch to Palmer. The ball had turned the opposite direction to the normal leg break, turning instead, to the right. Gibbs was so elated to see his foe vanquished, that he raced to Ducky's side and gave him a heart-filled thump on the back and a rare Gibb's grin.

Ducky was certainly a skilled technician with the ball and he proved pretty handy with the bat too, when it was their turn to score the runs. Kershaw ended up being a fairly lethal fast bowler, who enjoyed intimidating the batting team by bowling fast balls that bounced and reared up sharply, at chest and head height. Ducky still managed to score a quick-fire fifty runs before he retired, so that other team mates could have a turn. Palmer proved to be a handy hitter and Gibbs wondered, if Ducky had been giving his young protégé a few sly pointers.

When it was Gibbs' turn, he managed to hit several single runs and a four, that bounced over what had been agreed to be, the boundary fence, before Kershaw bowled a bouncer, that managed to clip his jaw and he fell onto his own stumps. He was very glad DiNozzo had suggested using a tennis ball.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony was balancing on his crutch, shooting balls at the basketball hoop set up over Darryl's triple car garage. He wished he'd been able to play in Ducky and Kershaw's cricket game, earlier. It had been fun and he wondered if Ducky would seek out Kershaw's group of cricket ex-pats and join in. Despite his age, Ducky played a mean game and he was cautious about what he ate. He would probably put a lot of players half his age to shame, when it came to fitness and stamina. Tony decided if he did seek out the cricketers, Tony might join them sometimes, particularly if they played the indoor version which was fast paced and exciting, if not so much, a tactical game.

He stood, shooting hoops trying to get into the zone that he used to enter into so easily, when he played college basketball. He scanned the mix of federal and local LEOs and saw The NCIS Director and Metro PD's Police Chief standing together, awkwardly playing their political game of Let's Pretend to be Bosom Pals, when in reality, they each considered the other to be a dumbass. Tony was also highly aware of the two women he had been avoiding all afternoon.

He had suggested to Ducky, that Marion Whitaker should bring a friend with her, so that she wouldn't feel uncomfortable being the only one who wasn't a LEO. He also asked Ducky to tell Marion, if anyone wanted to know how they knew each other, to say that she had nursed him before and then they'd meet again, when he had been brought in after the shooting. He knew he had to go over and talk to her soon, so he was trying to steal himself to remain calm.

Just the sight of Marion, was bringing back all the emotions from the other night, when he collapsed in a heap like a gibbering nutcase. He was still suffering from his post Halloween nightmares and being in such close proximity to the nurse, was pushing all of his emotional buttons, all his deeply buried memories, well...buried until recently, that is. So Tony did what he did best, he went through one of his techniques for preparing for undercover assignments. He was emptying his mind and emotions and the calming effect of landing hoop after hoop, was one of his favourite ways to enter into a sort of self hypnosis. Slowly, it was working and his emotions were dampening down and he was becoming calmer with each thump, as the ball landed through the hoop.

Tony was so into the process, he didn't notice that Gibbs had joined him until he grabbed the ball and took a shot, before retrieving the ball and bouncing it toward Tony. He aimed and landed another perfect shot through the hoop and with the mutual assent that had been the mark of their relationship, before it had all fallen apart; they fell into a silent but comfortable rhythm. Shot after shot, alternating back and forth between the pair, until Gibbs couldn't contain his curiosity any more.

"Why'd you invite that nurse, DiNozzo?"

His senior field agent sighed; knowing that is was too good to be true. Once again, he was expected to explain and justify his actions to Gibbs, when he would never tolerate Tony questioning his motives like that.

"Because she wanted to apologise for the other night, Gibbs and for the... other time... and I couldn't deal with her...before this."

"Rule six DiNozzo, how's it gonna help? Won't change what she did to ya."

Tony kept shooting, trying to maintain and reach the Zen-like state he had almost achieved, before Gibbs had to interfere by opening his mouth. "It's not, but it might make her feel better and stop her living in the past. We all make mistakes... well of course, us mere mortals anyway," he said, flicking a glance at his mentor before commencing his shooting again. "She deserves to move on and not be riddled with guilt, because of my father. He shouldn't have the power to ruin innocent people's lives like that. If she needs to apologise and it helps her, then it's the least I can do. I owe her that much, for her life being wrecked."

He didn't add, that after reading Marion Whitaker's letter, he had called in a few favours and checked her out. A buddy in the NYPD had discovered she had been deregistered by the Nursing Board for drug addiction and her husband had divorced her then won custody of her kids. She might have made a mistake, not reporting a case of suspected child abuse, but so had a lot of other medical staff. She obviously regretted her action and paid a heavy price for her inaction.

Reading her letter, it was impossible not to know, that she had been punishing herself for the last twenty five years, which was a hell of a lot longer than many murderers, served jail time. He couldn't bear her any malice and he decided that it was time to face the music, get it over and done with, for both their sakes. He bounced the ball back to Gibbs before taking a deep breath and he walked over to where Marion and her friend were sitting at a picnic table, sipping soft drinks.

Next chapter: Nosey parker, Rule six: Another one bites the just.


	19. Chapter 19

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own them...

A/N Once again, thanks for all the reviews especially those guests I can't thank personally. Thank you, too to all the new readers who have alerted, favourite or simply lurk and read. The amount of traffic for the last chapter was humbling. Also thanks to AlexDN for her suggestions re Marion :)

Just wanted to say, that I was so happy with the last chapter, when I decided to go with a compare and contrast method, to try and simplify and explain the basic tenets of the game of cricket, which Ducky loves so much. Thought I had achieved my goal but from reading reviews, I have to say that I failed miserably. *hangs head in abject shame* :D Sorry about that folks but I think that you will find this chapter more comprehensible... At least I hope so. LOL

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 19

Dana stood, watching her friend and the special agent talking quietly, together. She stared at the man who had, several decades before, had been the small child who had ended up, haunted Marion for so long. She knew how much this opportunity to meet him again, meant to her friend, but she hoped that it had been the right thing to do. She knew how driven Marion had been, to talk to him, although Dana couldn't help but feel a bit nervous, when she saw her friend becoming emotional. She really hoped that this was going to end well.

Dana watched, as the tall handsome agent, urge Marion to take a walk, so that they could find somewhere a little more private to talk. She had watched his body language and he seemed preternaturally calm, but friendly enough, so she felt safe leaving the two alone together, for the moment. The Narcotics Anonymous sponsor really hoped it wasn't a mistake for them to come together, so soon after their first disastrous encounter, last week.

She continued to watch, prepared to step in if necessary. As much as she understood and supported her friend's need to apologise, she wouldn't allow Marion's needs to override Tony's welfare. The guy had been through too much as it was, and was still recovering from being shot last week. As she kept an eye on them, she was somewhat surprised, when a dark- eye, foreign sounding woman, approached her. She seemed to be closely watching the exchange between Tony and Marion, too.

"My name is Ziva and I work with Tony. Are you in law enforcement also?"

"Hi Ziva, I'm Dana and I work in a hospital in the radiology department."

Ziva frowned, "I see...so is that how you know, Tony?" she interrogated the older woman.

Dana frowned a little; feeling like the question was more than polite chitchat. It felt as if this woman was cross-examining her and she really didn't feel comfortable talking to her. "I don't know him, all that well, Ziva. I came with my friend, Marion who is a nurse and she has treated him a couple of times. When he invited her after they met again in the hospital, he told her to bring a friend to keep her company. I guess he figured, that she would feel a bit out of place with so many cops."

Dana felt like she had stuck to the story pretty well. She wasn't great at lying but then, nothing that she had said was a lie either and as a patient; Tony was definitely entitled to his privacy. She didn't like the way Ziva was studying the pair as Marion became more animated, no doubt she was getting emotional, knowing her friend as she did. It looked to her, as if this Ziva person was preparing to go over and join in the conversation, so she decided to distract her.

"Umm...Ziva? Do you think that you could introduce me to your Dr Mallard? I've heard so much about him and I'd so like to meet him." Dana noted the irritation, flash cross Ziva's face, before she nodded her head.

Certainly, I am sure that he would love to meet you, Dana. I think he was over there, talking to Gibbs."

halloween remembrance

They were standing around, now that everyone had eaten their fill. Everybody had drinks in their hands, ready to toast Tony. The Police Chief Jack Camden stood waiting for silence, as he looked out across the mostly Metro PD cops, with a smattering of Tony's former colleagues from Baltimore PD, who had also been invited. McGee noticed that NCIS personnel were drastically outnumbered.

Apart from Director Vance who looked about as happy to be there, as Gibbs at an Interpersonal Relationship and Sexual Harassment Seminar, there was a handful of other senior field agents who were Tony's pals, plus Special Agents Balboa, Nicki Jardine and Cassie Yates. Everyone else must have had other plans McGee concluded, feeling sorry for his teammate. Tim knew how much he longed to get recognition for his was a real attention whore and a commendation was a pretty big deal, after all.

Not that it could come even close to Gibbs outstanding achievements, of course. He took out the Meritorious Civilian Service Medal year after year, even if he never accepted the awards or bothered turning up to the ceremony. Tony always made sure he leapt up and accepted them on his behalf. He would do just about anything, to be in the limelight. But still, after waiting such a long time to earn a commendation, it might have been nice, if the other agents could have made an effort to come. It looked really bad too, when so many had turned out from Metro.

McGee sidled up quietly to Balboa's senior field agent, Steph Garrett and spoke sotto voce, as the Police Chief was thanking everyone for coming.

"Where is everyone else, Steph? They can't all have had other plans, today. I know Tony can be annoying but we need to support him."

Garrett frowned. "What do you mean Tim? Everybody turned up, as far as I can see."

"No, I mean all the other agents. Tony's gotta be devastated that they aren't here to see his big moment, when the Police Chief presents him with his commendation. I think it sucks."

Steph grinned, wondering not for the first time, how Tony's team mates were supposed to be such hotshot investigators, yet could be so clueless concerning their own SFA. She leant over and whispered hurried, "Tony only issued invites to a select few of us McGee, and we were all pretty honoured to accept. We wouldn't dream of missing it. Now shhh...I want to listen to this."

McGee was shocked, but he decided he would question Steph later on. He focussed back on what the Police chief was saying. He was detailing the events leading up to the Halloween night robbery, before he commenced detailing Tony's police career. McGee glanced over and saw DiNozzo trying to disappear from the throng that surrounded him. His face was bright red and he looked extremely uncomfortable. Abby, Cassie Yates and Nicki Jardine were all physically restraining him, preventing his escape.

McGee was stunned, when he heard that Tony had graduated top of his police academy class, because he was sure that Tony had never mentioned that before. He listened, with a growing sense of disbelief as commendation after commendation was read out, along with handful of medals for firearms proficiency and competitions. Chief Camden outlined Tony's various stints working undercover, including his feat in bringing down a Mafia Don and his family, after the FBI had failed. Camden sounded pretty smug about that and also quite awed, too. He detailed how DiNozzo was one of the youngest police officers to be awarded a detective's shield, which was earned during his short stint in Philadelphia. He finished by mentioning, that he went on to have one of the highest closure rates, for a homicide detective in Baltimore.

Throughout his long running litany of Tony's short police career, all his cop buddies, stomped, cheered and clapped, making him more and more embarrassed by the second. Finally, Chief Camden paused and glanced over at his guest.

"Maybe you could run us through the highlights of Special Agent DiNozzo's awards and commendations since joining NCIS, Director Vance?"

Director Leon Vance stood there with his mouth agape, obviously taken off guard and not knowing what to say. McGee felt embarrassed for him and his teammate. How would he extricate himself gracefully, without admitting that Tony didn't have awards or commendations, from his time at NCIS. As the silence stretched on awkwardly, Gibbs spoke up instead.

"Actually, Chief Camden, as the Director is new to the position and probably not fully read in, on Special Agent DiNozzo's personnel record, as yet, I am probably best placed as his supervisor, to outline his various commendations and awards, since he joined NCIS and my team."

McGee frowned, and looked over at Ziva who looked equally surprised. So, he wasn't the only one who didn't know that Tony had commendations and awards either. Probably before he joined the team, McGee decided. Still, why didn't he know? How was that even possible? Tony bragged about everything including how many wad balls he managed to sink in McGee's waste paper basket, every day.

"Chief Camden frowned at Vance, before welcoming Gibbs over to address the crowd, who'd gathered to celebrate Tony's latest commendation..

"Gibbs gathered his thoughts for a minute. "Well I could probably list them all off for ya, I guess, cause there have been a heck of a lot in the almost eight years we've worked together. But I think I'll just pick out a few and give you some background on why they were awarded." He flashed his second a glance that was full of pride and amusement because it was apparent how uncomfortable Tony was, at the moment. "Ya have to forgive him, because he hates it when we dwell on his achievements. He always request that commendations and awards are just noted in his personnel file. Surprised, ya managed to get him here today, Chief."

"When I offered him a job, on the Major Case Response Team, my colleagues were all shocked. That was until he joined in the FLETC training course for federal agents, half way through an existing program and still graduated in the top three in his class. They soon understood why I had to work with him, especially when they saw him in action."

"Tony received a commendation for saving the life of a Marine Sergeant who was the last surviving victim of a serial killer. He was drugged and incarcerated, along with the half dead Marine and an over ripe corpse. He was a Marine too, another victim of the killer, who she had starved to death. With just a knife, DiNozzo managed to free the Marine, who was chained to the wall and they escaped from a cell-like room, deep into the sewer system, using his knife and his belt. He carried the Marine until they almost made it to safety, before the serial killer caught up with them. Tony placed his own body between the armed killer and the sick Marine. Fortunately he managed to disarm her."

"He also saved two of his team members from being blown up by a car bomb and he got caught up in blast in the process, just weeks after surviving the pneumonic plague. Fortunately for his teammates, he had returned from sick leave a week early. He also ended up, saving our forensic scientist from the same scumbag assassin, who managed to kill Special Agent Todd, not long after the car bombing. Without his determination to come back early and watch his teams' sixes, most of the team wouldn't have survived. The terrorist was intent on destroying the Major Case Response Team because I pissed him off. said I reminded him of his father. Course the bullet I put in his shoulder probably didn't help."

McGee remembered the day, when Tony had flipped from joking around with him and Cate, to intense and dangerous agent, ordering his teammates to leave him behind with the car bomb and run like hell. Later when he was in obvious pain from the explosion and ordered to lie down, he and Cate had decided to play a petty, joke on him. It ended with Cate pouring a bottle of water on him. Neither of them had actually thanked him for being prepared to sacrifice his own life, so they both could escape from the bomb. Then, after Cate had been killed by Ari the next day, it never seemed to be the right time to say those two little words. His mother would definitely kill him, if she ever knew. He'd been brought up, to behave much better than that.

He tried to concentrate on what Gibbs was saying. "...while he was undercover. He managed to convince the killers that his partner of just a few weeks, who was posing as his wife, needed to retrieve a flash-memory-thingamajig from their hotel room, which the killers wanted. He knew that she would have backup waiting for her in the room, and he also knew that they intended to kill him, once she left. Having lost his partner just a few weeks before, he was determined that his new one would suffer a similar fate, if he could possibly prevent it. DiNozzo had already beaten him and after he had convinced the dirtbags to let his partner go to retrieve a computer chip, even though he was still tied to a chair, he managed to disarm and overpower his attacker."

McGee glanced over at Ziva, remembering how they had all expected to find him dying or dead when they burst into the killers' hotel room. Instead he was still tied to the chair, laying into his would-be killer, with a white hot intensity that had scared the hell out of Tim. It was as if he was looking at a stranger, who resembled their senior field agent, in looks but was a stranger to him. He shook off his reminiscence and found Gibbs had moved on again.

"...During another of his frequent undercover missions, DiNozzo was taken hostage in a hospital morgue with a doctor, by two drugs traffickers trying to retrieve their drugs from a cadaver. Unarmed and concussed, he was able to get hold the dirtbag's gun, shoot him and detain the second perp. Like his little adventure with the convenience store, DiNozzo was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time and still came out of it with his butt intact...well mostly. He managed to save the life of the doctor and detain the traffickers, including a young drug addict."

McGee vaguely remembered hearing that there had been some trouble with drug dealers at the hospital where Jeanne Benoit worked, the night before Tony's car was blown up by the CIA. He'd never heard before, the details of what had gone on in the morgue. Only Tony could end up in a situation like that, when undercover. He had the worst luck, Tim mused, once again missing what Gibbs was saying.

"... the time he saved a fellow agent and a daughter of a former Marine. They had been attacked by a couple of dirtbags...with automatic weapons, so they took shelter in a car when it accidently went off the pier and into the Potomac River. DiNozzo arrived on the scene, took down the two perps, by double tapping and killing them both, and then he managed to free two unconscious victims, from the submerged car. He was somehow able to rip out the windscreen, to get them out of the car and also freed his fellow agent, when his legs were trapped by the steering wheel column. He then was able to successfully resuscitate both victims.

If that wasn't an incredible enough rescue for anyone to pull off, I should emphasize that he managed it, with severely impaired lung capacity, from his bout with the plague. We are so damned used to him performing seemingly, unbelievable act of bravery, that most of the time we forget to acknowledge or even thank him, for watching and saving out sixes' in the field. That last example though, deserved more than a commendation recorded in a personnel file.

He saved a fellow agent who had stubbornly refused to follow procedure and had gone off grid, placing his own life and the life of a young girl in imminent danger because he was too stubborn to accept help from his teammates. Not to mention putting in jeopardy, the life of the man who saved them. The miserable SOB didn't even have the grace to thank Tony, for watching his six and saving not just his own life, but that of his daughter's best friend. I should have said it sooner DiNozzo, but I'm saying it now. Thank you for saving Maddie's and my life, that day on the pier."

McGee looked across at the crowd, who were all stunned, especially everybody from NCIS. Tim wasn't sure if it was because their usual taciturn lead agent had spoken more in a few minutes, than he did in a year or if it was the admission, that he had never acknowledged what Tony had done for him and Maddie Tyler. Perhaps it was even, that he had chosen such a public forum to thank him and to break the unbreakable Rule six.

Tim had to admit, that he had always assumed that at least in private; Gibbs would have thanked Tony for risking his life and pulling off such an amazing rescue considering, his lungs and the risk of the cold dirty waters of the Potomac. Tony and Gibbs always seemed to have such a strong relationship and he always felt envious. It was completely shocking to think that Tony had received a commendation that he never mentioned, but also that his boss hadn't seen fit, to offer a simple thank you to his protégé and partner.

He looked across at Tony and saw his expressionless face and wondered what he was thinking. He had been terribly embarrassed before, but now he was impossible to read. He would have expected him to be preening like a peacock, but then, nothing about today was making much sense to McGee.

He couldn't help remembering, arrogantly telling DiNozzo that he had come top of his class at FLETC, in his first year as a probationary field agent, when Tony had tried to offer advice to him on one occasion. He'd been about to conduct a search for evidence in heavily wooded area, when Tony had tried to point out it was covered with poison ivy and he had been too full of himself, to listen. DiNozzo had never mentioned his own accomplishments, which was just so uncharacteristically hinky and he wondered why.

Even so, he had degrees from MIT and Johns Hopkins and he was the face of the new NCIS agency. Director Vance had made that plain to him, when he came back to the MCRT, after his stint in the cyber crimes basement. Leon had also been quite clear that the old fashion methods favoured by Gibbs and his Saint Bernard, weren't going to cut it, in the Director's brave new world. He knew that he was every bit as good an agent as DiNozzo, had been for a while now and if he'd read Leon right, he was in line for a promotion, pretty soon. Maybe Tony would realise that he was best suited to being a cop and accept the Metro PD's job offer. You didn't need to be a genius to be a cop, not like a fed, what with terrorism and the like.

halloween remembrance

Marion stood beside her friend Dana, watching as Tony was presented with his commendation and the Assistant Chief Darryl Amos had proposed a toast in his honour. Tony looked as if he wished the ground would open up and swallow him, his face and body language clearly reflecting how uncomfortable he was, with all the attention. Darryl then invited everyone, to partake in coffee and cake.

Special Agent Gibbs shot off in hot pursuit of the former, obviously needing a desperate boost to his caffeine levels. Marion remembered the night at the hospital, last week, when he had drunk endless gallons of the strong, black brew. She noticed that the Assistant Chief of Police; laid a hand on Tony's arm, detaining him gently. He looked as if, he was trying to convince him about something.

It had been illuminating, she thought, listening to his career highlights. Marion had to admit though, to being rather perturbed as well, by the long list of injuries that he had seemed to have collected, in the course of years serving as a cop and then a fed. She hoped that it wasn't because he was depressed or had a death wish. It seemed to be something of an occupational hazard in the job, from what she had seen. Tony hadn't been very open with her, when they talked about his life, after he left the hospital in a body cast. He did confirm that he hadn't been taken away from his father, though.

Of course, he obviously was courageous and felt responsible for protecting his friends, and even perfect strangers. She wondered, if maybe he felt like his life was somehow less valuable than other individuals? It wasn't uncommon for battered kids to be brainwashed into believing that they were worthless. She saw it all the time, in her volunteer work with abused or neglected children. It was just too damned easy, to write permanently enduring messages, on the cognitive slate of a young child's mind, especially when the author was someone who the child loved or looked up too.

Marion was grateful to finally have the chance to apologise to Tony, after all this time. He had accepted her apology readily and assured her that he forgave her. He surprised her by expressing his sorrow that she had suffered, because of his father's actions. He was smiling and seemingly relaxed, yet his ready smile; never actually seem to reach his eyes, which remained detached and remote. She didn't know, if this was normal, perhaps he was always guarded and given what his life had probably been like, would it be such a surprise? She wondered what crutches, if any he used, to cope? Perhaps he had firsthand experience of addictions... well apart from his father.

Marion's heart was much lighter, freer, than it had been in a very long time, yet she found herself worrying about Tony, even so. The relationship between him and Agent Gibbs seemed strained, although when the pair had been shooting baskets earlier, they had seemed to be in sync and Tony's body language, appeared relaxed. She just hoped that his friends would support him, in the same way Dana helped her. She really didn't know what she would have done without Dana and the Narcotics Anonymous Program; which had helped her to rebuild her life again. She was so glad that she had come today, even though it had been difficult for them both.

Next chapter: Hard truths and cleaning up a mess.

A/N If anyone has an idea what Ducky has been beating around the bush about, with Tony and Gibbs, send me a PM. First correct guess earns the right to name a very important OC in upcoming chapters. :)


	20. Chapter 20

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not mine... not making money.

Thanks to everyone for their reviews, alerts and favs. Big thanks also to Buckeyegirl00000 for being the Beta for this story. Just don't mention the war... umm chocolate to her :) For those of you who aren't fans of John Cleese who made this line famous, I mention him because I just heard he is getting married again, for the fourth time. Something he shares with two of the characters in this chapter. Speaking of which...

Ducky finally finishes off his talk with Gibbs. This chapter has been pivotal since I first conceived this story. I am expecting it may be a little controversial to some people. I would just request that any Gibbs fans who want to chuck tomatoes, could you please open the cans and discard them first? LOL

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 20

Gibbs had been watching the clock for several hours now. He had decided that he was going to talk to Ducky at the end of the day. Time to stop this dancing around, avoiding his old friend and find out once and for all what was on his mind. As much as Gibbs knew it was going to be something that he wouldn't like and he sure as hell wasn't looking forward to facing whatever it was, he had decided that not knowing was much worse. It left his imagination free to roam and that was not good for his mental health. Apart from all that, he also was going to need Ducky's help to put his plans to fix the team, into action.

That meant he needed to face his demons, rather than avoiding them. After all he was a frigging Marine, when all was said and done. He could face this. He'd decided on the weekend, that he was out of his depth dealing with DiNozzo. If he wanted to save their relationship and stop him leaving, then it was time to get serious. When the going gets tough, the tough get going and all that crap.

It had been a day filled with the boring monotony of paper work. Normally even the most tedious of days would be interspersed with banter, a prank or joke and one of Tony's monologues on some highly obscure damned artsy film or paradoxically, a moronic discussion about some pop culture flick, yet it totally made the tedium bearable. Similarly Tony, could use utterly off colour and macabre gallows humour, to diffuse horrendously brutal crime scenes, where the depravity of a psychopath, would remind them all that individuals existed, who possessed not a shred of humanity.

With Tony still on sick leave, his absence simply served as depressing prelude to what Gibbs and the team would face, if he lost his senior field agent. As the afternoon stretched on interminably, Gibbs watched his two junior team members, as he contemplated how he was going to go about fixing the culture within the team. He wasn't verbally inclined, he was definitely not adept at expressing his thoughts. If he was, he might not have three ex-wives now, so he didn't think that a verbal tongue lashing would work too well. Sure he could do the anger and tear strips off them but actually explain why he was pissed off... no way, no how!

He sort of wished that Ducky would offer to rip the pair a new one, much as he had done with him, but he knew that he couldn't ask that of his friend. He couldn't expect Ducky to clean up the mess that he had been responsible for making. You break it, you fix it, was a part of his personal ethos and he also owed it to DiNozzo. He needed to create a working environment where he could flourish, again. That being said, he knew that he simply couldn't pull off the sort of talkfest that Ducky had used, to make him stop and examine his own behaviour and attitudes. He could roar and head slap, like no one else but he doubted that it would be enough.

Sure he could just order them to shape up or ship out, but he knew that the chain of command issue wasn't going to be that simple to solve. After all, it had taken years for things to become so totally FUBAR so a few barked orders, while necessary, weren't going to make them change how they thought about their senior field agent. It was a start but more was required. Much, much more!

He wanted to set Ziva and McGee a series of tasks that would force them to confront and examine their perceptions of DiNozzo and also take them down a peg or two. They had to understand, that his contribution to the team might not always be in their face but nevertheless, it was what gave them their edge. He really needed some help, in pulling off his plans. That was because he wanted to be a hell of a lot more creative than having them scrub out the heads with a toothbrush, even though it was pretty standard punishment for dealing with recalcitrant subordinates back when he'd been a Gunnery Sergeant in the Corp. In order to do that though, he needed help from Ducky and his oldest frenemy, Tobias Fornell, to put it in motion.

He could tell already, that his two junior agents were off kilter after the events that had unfolded at the weekend barbeque, at Darryl-Keep-Your-Freakin-Hands-Off-My-Agent Amos' place. He realised that they had no idea just how many awards and commendations, Tony had collected over the years because like himself, he wasn't impressed by them. _No, you idiot, he cares far more about making you proud... or he used to. Not so sure, he gives a damn about your opinion of him anymore,_ he silently raged at himself.

He didn't know how DiNozzo had pulled up, after the weekend barbeque. He felt as if he might have made some progress but he knew he'd screwed up, when he started quizzing Tony about why Marion was present. Ducky had warned him about trying to extract information, and yet he had still gone and done it, anyway. Why was he so obsessed with knowing every minute detail about his second's life?

He didn't act that way around Ziva, McGee or Abby. Hell he often preferred not to know, what his favourite Goth girl got up to, outside of work hours. She had a wild side that alarmed him, but he was comforted by the knowledge that Tony had her six. He decided that his obsession with knowing every little detail about him was because he pretended to be this 'let it all hang out' sort of guy, who let locker room talk spill over into the bull pen. Yet it was just a ruse to hide who and what he was. DiNozzo probably had more secrets than J. Edgar Hoover himself and it made him crazy that Tony could conceal things from him.

Deciding to bite the bullet, he barked at his team. "McGee, David, I want you to clean out and check all the supplies in the truck. Then I want written reports on all your cold cases you are reviewing, on my desk before you go home. I'll see you tomorrow."

He pulled out his phone and hit his speed dial. "Meet me and Jack in the usual place, usual time, tonight. I'll get the eggrolls. See ya." He glared over at his team. The glare that said, _what the devil are you still doing here? _He stalked off and headed towards the elevator. He was going to head to the coffee shop for some non alcoholic, yet high octane, Dutch courage, before bearding the lion in his autopsy den.

halloween remembrance

Ducky looked up from the report he was reading from a colleague. He often found himself called upon, to give his expert opinion as a Fellow of the Royal College of Pathologists. An acquaintance who was a medical examiner from Glasgow, had asked for him to review a complex case she was working on. He looked up, upon hearing that someone was entering his domain.

" Ah Jethro, to what do I owe this honour? Do we have a new case, my friend," he asked, subtly hinting that he had not missed that Gibbs was avoiding him in the last week, apart from matters related to work.

"Naw Ducky. Decided it was time to man up! Got time to talk?"

"For you dear boy, absolutely. What's on your mind?" he teased. He stood up and commenced his tea making ritual, noticing that Gibbs had three strong black coffees in a cardboard tray and a paper bag that contained something edible. Clearly, Jethro intended for it to be a lengthy discussion.

Ducky reached for his tin of chocolate digestive biscuits and placed them onto a plate and ripped open the bag to find some mini apple charlotte tartlets which were a secret weakness of his. Jethro was obviously feeling the need for comfort food, which meant he had correctly anticipated that Ducky had saved the worst for last. He decided that he would make a pot of Earl Grey tea and reached for a tea caddy and teapot. After warming it, and adding the tea, he checked to see if he had any lemons. After examining a rather shrivelled lemon he decided to take his tea, sans lemon. He consoled himself with the fact that the fragrant orange bergamot oil could easily be overpowered by its more astringent cousin.

Once they had settled in with their preferred poisons, Ducky decided he would get things rolling. He was a strong advocate of giving praise when praise was due, unlike his rather cantankerous companion. He knew a little positive reinforcement, could encourage good behaviour and he had been gobsmacked, when the functional mute had actually volunteered to do some public speaking at Tony's presentation. And what a speech, too! It was the talk of the water cooler.

"So Jethro, you did well when you stepped into the breach and made our dear Director Vance look rather foolish. It seemed he was well prepared at the press conference and more than happy to accept the benefits of Anthony's commendation in terms of good PR but was caught well and truly flat-footed, when it came to Darryl's little soiree. It was a fine speech, dear boy and quite shocked everyone, who assumed that apart from grunts and disyllabic sentences, you were incapable of talking."

Gibbs grunted. "It's a start Duck. Not sure it helped or not."

"Why do you say that, Jethro?"

"Cuz I just can't help myself. Were shootin hoops together, was good. No need of words, like it used to be. Then I made him mad. Had to know why that damned nurse was there."

"Well my friend, I did warn you not to try and force him to tell you his business, which Marion most certainly was." He didn't express his own dismay about Anthony's misplaced sense of responsibility, regarding her guilt and pain.

"Still, even so Jethro, apart from the importance of what you said for Anthony's sake, it was extremely important for your two younger agents to hear your pride and the esteem that you have for him. It didn't hurt for Leon to hear it either. Well done, my friend."

"Hope you're right, Duck. Speaking of... need you to come over tonight. Need your help, you and Tobias. Checked with people, about when I lef... was gone. Everyone was pissed, with how the team treated DiNozzo. Once I got Balboa drunk enough, he told me he offered to write up 'The Brats' as he called em, for insubordination. Said DiNozzo talked him out of it."

Ducky nodded, unsurprised that Gibbs had found lingering anger over the teams' behaviour towards Anthony, during Gibbs sabbatical in Mexico. He was pleased that Gibbs had investigated the situation. He already knew that Gibbs had sucked his assistant dry. Jimmy was no match for Gibbs when it came to interrogation, although it seems that he'd used a little DiNozzo finesse, instead of his usual sledgehammer approach. It told him, Gibbs was serious about putting in the work that he needed, to try and repair his relationship with Anthony. It also persuaded him, that he should put Gibbs out of his misery, about the information he had been dangling in front of him, just out of reach. But in deference to Gibbs love of mind games, he would make him work for it.

"I'll be there, Jethro. I must admit that you have me very curious about your plans. You won't mind if I bring my own liquid refreshment, I'm sure. Even after two decades living here, the merits of bourbon still elude me, I'm afraid. Give me smooth single malt, any day." He eyed his friend, a frisson of amusement running through him. "Was there anything else, Jethro?" Because I have this case from Glasgow, involving a serial killer who delivers his victims to the undertakers, already laid out in a coffin with..."

"Duck, c'mon... you're killing me. Don't make me beg ya."

"Well, I'll skip to the finish, shall I?" Ducky deliberately misunderstanding, carried on with his account of the Glaswegian serial killer. "It seems that the killer gives his victims both a manicure and a pedicure, so my profile suggests that he may be keeping the nail clippings as trophies. To me..."

"Duck," Gibbs growled. "Tell me why DiNozzo will let you and Abbs treat him with kindness and he freaks out if I do. I want to know why ya think I have this power ya keep yammering on about, to hurt him. I want to know, now. No more putting me OFF!"

"Why Gibbs?"

"Damn it Duck. Everyone calls me an A class bastard but you are the ultimate in Machiavellian bastards, if there ever was. You knew that I would never be able to let it go, if you kept dangling some damned elusive piece of Intel in front of me and refused to tell me. It is driving me crazy, along with the fact that I can't get you outta my head. Ya keep arguing with me all the time. Damn, I hate shrinks! Stop shrinking my head Duck and tell me NOW!"

The medical examiner, come forensic profiler chuckled quietly. He knew that refusing to tell Gibbs something, would drive him to distraction and he would ultimately be driven to know, what it was that Ducky was concealing. He was somewhat surprised to hear that Jethro was projecting him as his conscience though, that he was making Gibbs question all of his past assumptions about Anthony and his rationalisations for his behaviour. There was a delicious irony there, somewhere.

"Alright dear boy, but don't shoot the messenger. Perhaps you should secure your sig in my locked draw."

Gibbs stared at him to see if he was joking, but the good doctor looked quite serious. _Damn, he wasn't going to like this one bit. I can do this, I CAN do this, I CAN DO THIS,_ he told himself firmly. "Not carrying Duck. It's upstairs." He opened his jacket to reveal his empty holster." Ducky stared pointedly at his ankle and he pulled up his pant leg to show he didn't have his back-up piece, either.

"So Jethro, let's talk about Anthony's father." He held up a hand." I'm not deflecting or delaying, my friend. It is relevant to the discussion at hand. So, as I was saying, put aside the fact that he is a cur, a drunkard and he abused and neglected his only son for just a minute, if that is possible. We will also ignore the fact that both of us would like nothing less than to take him apart, piece by agonising piece and not feel the slightest guilt, either."

"Instead, we will focus on his profile, like we would any perpetrator or to borrow your vernacular, a dirtbag. From what we know about him from his public persona, he is very good at what he does. He seems to have garnered a great deal of respect, fear and influence. He is charismatic and strong willed. He uses his undeniable physical attributes, to help him to get what he wants and if that doesn't work he uses his imposing personality to threaten. When he makes up his mind, he will not be moved; he wants what he wants and he doesn't want to wait for it, either. He wants it yesterday!"

"To use a pop culture euphemism, he is most definitely an Alpha male who excels in domination and intimidation of those people he interacts with. He is clearly a Type A Personality, who is extremely goal orientated to the point of ignoring family. He is obsessive about his work and is not good at maintaining interpersonal relationships. He is apparently, extremely attractive to the opposite sex, if all the photos of him in the society pages, with the multitude of much younger beautiful women, are anything to go by."

"Then let us examine the more personal data that we know about, from the small snippets of information that Anthony shares from time to time. We know that his father started drowning his sorrows in an extremely expensive whiskey bottle, when he lost the love of his life, and that he retreated emotionally, from his son. Instead of re-establishing his relationship with his son, he embarked upon a doomed attempt to replace his beloved wife with at least three wives. Senior instilled in Anthony, a dread of being seen as weak and he brought him up with an inflexible set of rules about what was acceptable behaviour. It made him afraid to show any vulnerability or to be considered weak. His father had impossibly high standards and was never happy with what he achieved."

"He obviously is not a man who is willing to compromise, even for his own flesh and blood. It is his way or the highway and he cut Anthony out of his life when he finally stood up to him. I would surmise that he was not a demonstrative man, if Anthony's response to being hugged, can be used as a barometer. It took a long time before he could cope with Abby's bear-hugs."

"Senior was quick to point out the smallest of flaws in his son, but failed abysmally, to praise his son for his many admirable qualities and achievements. I have to wonder if he ever offered the smallest praise at all, going by Anthony's behaviour. He absolutely craves approval and praise yet when he receives it; he is singularly ill-equipped to deal with it. He becomes quite distressed by the attention."

He paused and glanced at his old friend whose forehead was furrowed. Ducky felt that it was because Jethro was processing what he was saying and his investigator's brain was making connections.

"What do you know about Transference, Jethro?" He heard a splunt- which according to his favourite Goth was a hybrid of a splutter and a grunt.

"Psycho-babble claptrap that Sigmund Whats-his-face came up with. Supposed to want to sleep, with your shrink," he snorted contemptuously.

"Well not exactly but not bad, Jethro. It has been used as a concept in psychotherapy for when a patient unconsciously redirects their feelings they had for a significant figure in their life, often from childhood, onto a therapist. As you say, this concept was first proposed by Sigmund Freud who came up with many of his psychoanalytic theories, while he was using cocaine... although I digress.

Many modern relationship therapists believe that Transference is a much more generalised mechanism than simply being part of the therapeutic process. They see Transference as a something that takes place, in all our significant relationships. That it is especially valid for understanding how repressed feelings and experiences from childhood, are displaced onto adults that we form relationships with. For example, men frequently search for women who are similar to their mothers while girls are attracted to men who are share similar..."

Gibbs had heard enough and erupted. "Damn it to hell and back again, Duck. You're saying that I'm a monster, like that SOB bastard father of DiNozzo!"

"Not at all Jethro, you are definitely not a monster and it isn't as simple as that. I was merely pointing out to you, that you share quite a few character traits with Anthony's father and you have unfortunately had some similar life experiences, plus ways of coping. All of which, may predispose our Anthony, to displace his unsatisfactory paternal relationship upon you, remembering that you're Anthony's supervisor and therefore already an authority figure to him. But it is a combination of those confluences of similarities along with many qualities that are the antithesis of Senior, and which Anthony admires fiercely about you. They have more than likely, created a situation where unconsciously, he has transferred his unfulfilled need for paternal love and approval, onto yourself. He has done so, because you, unlike his father, are not a monster."

"He rejected his father because of his abuse and neglect but it never negated his need for acceptance, love and a familial sense of belonging. He may have adopted you as a surrogate father figure because in some less than desirable ways, you share some similarities, but it is your stellar attributes that has won his unerring loyalty. Yes he may hero worship you, like a young boy with his father, but underneath the wide eyed little boy, is a vein of shrewd cynicism that recognises that you are fallible, indeed mortal."

"Anthony admires your strength, and the fact that money is not what drives you, unlike his father who worships upon its altar, to the exclusion of his own son. Anthony respects and admires your determination to fight for victims of crime and individuals who have no voice. No doubt, he identifies strongly with those individuals because of his own childhood, when he was weak and unable to fight back against his circumstances. I would suggest that unconsciously, he also felt that your acceptance and approval was ultimately attainable."

"I think that Transference may go some of the way to explain why you have the power to influence Anthony, so much and yet you also possess the ability to harm him more than anyone else at NCIS. Indeed I would go so far as to suggest that you have some Counter-transference issues of your own, that may explain why you lash out at him at times, with such ferocity to inflict a killing blow. And to simplify the psycho-babble as you call it, Counter-transference has to do with your unconscious reactions to the feelings that Anthony redirected onto you, as a surrogate father figure."

"Jethro, whether you admit it or not, and Caitlyn frequently tried unsuccessfully, to make you admit your paternalistic feelings towards young Anthony, you nevertheless have experienced extremely strong feelings for him, as well. I think that as much as he needs a real father, you also need him as a son and the need you feel and the paternal emotions that he has awakened in you, absolutely terrifies you because you have unresolved grief issues. Having lost one child already, you resent the fact that he needs you and you need him. And you also resent him, for making you feel that need."

"You hate the fact, that after years of closing off your emotions from other people, Anthony managed to waltz his way past your defences and has been able to make you care about him, like he was your own flesh and blood. That as much as you hate that fact, you are even more terrified of the pain and grief that you will face if he is hurt or worse, if you lose him like you did, Shannon and Kelly."

"Yes, I know that you have fatherly feelings for dear Abigail, but she is a safe relationship, that doesn't threaten you. It is on your terms and her job doesn't place her in harm's way, unlike Anthony who has turned getting into sticky situations and getting injured, into an Olympic event. She also sees you through triple layered, rose coloured glasses and is incapable of seeing your flaws. You are her Silver Fox, her hero. You can do no wrong in her eyes and that can be an intoxicating and alluring attribute."

"Unlike Anthony who is intimately aware of your flaws and still loves you despite them. Who does his level best to save you from them and protect us all, when they consume you and burst forth, overwhelming you and everyone within a five mile radius. He understands you better than anyone else ever has, apart from Shannon, I would hazard a guess. Even I, as your old friend, cannot anticipate your thoughts and mercurial moods, the way that young Anthony can. Nor can I begin to deflect your destructive anger and pain, the way he does, when it is necessary to save you and the team."

"And I think that sometimes you hate him for it! He has made you care and he sees past the walls you've erected since your loss. They say that there is a fine line between love and hate, Jethro. No doubt, Diane would agree with that"

Ducky paused for breath and looked across at his friend, to see how he was responding to what Ducky had said. He could see that he was shocked, brooding and quiet. Ducky knew that there was more to say, but he thought that it was probably a discussion that would take place over time and in much smaller increments. He walked over to his locked drawer and pulled out a bottle of single malt that he kept there, for purely medicinal use and judging by the expression on his friend's face, this certainly qualified. He poured him a few fingers and pressed it into Jethro 's unresponsive hand, before tapping his cheek and telling him to drink.

He watched as Gibbs obediently swallowed down the liquor and pulled a face at the unaccustomed taste. Ducky decided that he was going to drive his friend home, as he didn't think he was safe to let loose behind the wheel of a car, in his current state. Okay, truth be told, he didn't think that Jethro 's driving style was ever compatible with his continued good health or anyone else's, for that matter but it was not within his purview to prevent it, unfortunately. Tonight though, was a different story. He rather thought that he could strip Jethro buck naked and have young Abigail dress him up as a punk rocker and Jethro would remain oblivious to it all.

So he would take him home and make him coffee and sit him in front of his boat with his infernal sandpaper. _Tonight's little talk with Gibbs and Fornell should be very interesting _he concluded._ Perhaps he could persuade the FBI agent to sleep over and keep an eye on his friend tonight. If not, he would _drag_ him back to his own abode after their pow-wow._

"Come along Jethro, I'm taking you home. Do you think it might be prudent to put off this mysterious conference between Fornell and ourselves, until tomorrow night? I could call him and reschedule."

Gibbs stirred himself out of the haze that currently enveloped him. "What?"

Ducky repeated himself and Gibbs shook his head. " Naw Duck. Be okay, I really need to focus on some other stuff, for a bit. Knew it was gonna be a ball-breaker but I never expected that in a million years. Thought you were gonna try and convince me that there was something sexual between us."

Ducky chuckled, as he steered his friend toward the doors of autopsy while he grabbed his trench coat and fedora, before switching off the lights. "Come on, my friend, let's grab your gear," he smirked at the familiar phrase, "and head back to your place. At this rate, Tobias will get there before we do."

Next chapter: Three heads are better than one and introspection of a mute.

BTW no one managed to guess what Ducky was beating around the bush about but DS2010 and Caper25 were closest.


	21. Chapter 21

Rating: T

Disclaimer: NCIS does not belong to me and I am not profiting from them financially.

A/N Sorry to keep you all hanging between chapters. Some technical issues with my computer and also a chapter that wanted to wrestle with me before it would cooperate with being written are my excuses. Hopefully it is all good now. Due to the long time between chapters, I hope people will excuse me if I just post this without me taking the time to personally thank reviewers. Thought you'd appreciate getting a chapter sooner and that I turn my attention to the next chapter. Thanks to the people still alerting and favouriting as we move into the back end of the story.

Thanks to BuckeyeGirl00000 for beta-reading this chapter. I rewrote parts of this after it was beta'ed and therefore any remaining mistakes are my bad :(

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 21

Gibbs stood in front of his boat, sandpaper in hand as he caressed the graceful curves of the hull, sanding with the grain of course. He was striving for his usual state of nothingness that he normal achieved when working on the boat in his basement. He considered it akin to meditation, yoga or that silly damned, pyjama clad dancing around, chai tea thingy that geeky types did in the park, early in the mornings. Sadly his attempts didn't come close to the calmness that Jethro normally experienced, when he communed with his boat after an upsetting day at work. Normally being the operative word here. Tonight, his hands were simply going through the motions, with a familiarity born out of years of muscle memory that could shape wood, even in the dark.

His mind however, was far from calm, as he kept replaying situations, conversations and memories over and over in his head. Ducky last week, had cautioned him against demanding DiNozzo spill his guts about personal matters. He had never been able to understand why his old friend made such a big deal about it. That was until the crafty doctor had finally dropped his bombshell today. Now as the various mental images flashed across his brain, one in particular wouldn't leave him alone.

Gibbs recalled the clipped angry tone of his senior agent describing how he had to report to his father's study each evening as a child. He was expected to deliver a report upon his daily activities and to act as valet for his father, pouring his nightly drinks. Tony would then have to stand at attention, listening as his father berated him, for grades that weren't ever good enough for the monster who shared the same name as his agent.

He also had a vivid image of DiNozzo at NCIS, striding around the bull pen, a ball of pure kinetic energy that had difficulty staying still for long. How his second would fall over his feet in his rush to get into position, either in front of Gibbs' desk or the plasma screen when Gibbs roared, wanting some lead. Once there, he would be proceed to deliver a succinct Sit Rep, as he knew too well, what happened if they didn't have anything for him. Tony also viewed it as his responsibility to ensure adequate supplies of Gibbs' next caffeine fix before his infamous temper consumed the bull pen.

He saw a team lead who not only pounced on his agents' flaws and errors, castigating them publically, especially his second if he was being brutally honest but, just like Senior, couldn't manage to give him the smallest amount of praise. Ducky was right, he really was no better than Tony's dad, when it came down to it. Oh yeah, the parallels were there, if he had been man enough to seek them out, he winced disgustedly.

When it came to DiNozzo, it wasn't just his lack of praise... or more accurately, his lack of acknowledgement that he had done something noteworthy. He was always so busy trying to make him the exceptional agent he believed he could be, due to his potential, that he never told him he was already great at his job. Just like Senior was never satisfied with his son's achievements either. Anyone else, would be proud to have a son like Tony.

Jethro was had difficulty understanding why he found it so easy to jump to the conclusion that DiNozzo was slacking around now that he had started examining his own attitude and behaviour. He'd worked with him for so many years and knew damned well, that he always came up with the goods, never once disappointing him or failing to have Gibbs' six. Yet time and again, he'd chewed DiNozzo out in front of the whole squad room for messing around, when in reality he was coming up with leads or connections in his own unique way.

Being the second 'B' bastard he was though, he never ever said sorry for constantly underestimating him, or falsely accusing him in front of his peers. _I'll bet that Senior never apologised to his son either,_ his traitorous Ducky inner voice berated him. Of course it was damned convenient for him, having a rule that declared that apologies were a sign of weakness. It meant he never needed to consider when he was in the wrong. Just pretend that it never happened and move on.

The irony was that what was definitely required in this situation, to stop the most valuable member of his team leaving, was a honking huge apology about how he had been treating his senior field agent. Yet the problem was, even if he could get Tony to listen to him long enough to hear his apology, he doubted very much he would actually believe him after years of hiding behind Rule Six. Why indeed, should his loyal Saint Bernard listen to one lame-assed apology that would seem as if he was apologising because he thought he was going to lose a loyal companion. A fact that was true to some extent which didn't necessarily make for a palatable apology either.

His need to apologise had been more pragmatic up until now but it was so much more complicated at this point. Once he'd found out that DiNozzo had been keeping a Mother of All Secrets as Abby called them, yeah it had made him angry. Angry, protective and with a deep seated longing to be able disembowel something, preferably of the Senior DiNozzo persuasion. Trouble was he already knew that Tony would not welcome that reason for his apology, either. He'd already been rebuffed him, when he tried it.

While he had known what was required, since the night of the Halloween shooting, when it became apparent that things were so bad that Tony was seriously considering leaving his team, he chaffed against the inevitable. Now, after processing Ducky's five megaton neutron bomb, things were different. Now he wanted, no he had to say he was sorry, for being a bastard... for being anything like Tony's father. The old oblivious Gibbs would have probably given a half assed apology, told him to suck it up and maybe invited the kid back for a steak and half a bottle of Jack and that would have been it. Problem solved... well as far as he was concerned.

The more self- aware, albeit guilt riddled Gibbs, had to offer a heartfelt apology for being even remotely like the monster that was Tony's sperm donor. And the crux of his dilemma was that due to his idiotic rules and abhorrence of appearing anything less than the omnipotent Gibbs, Tony would struggle to believe him when he said sorry.

He already reacted negatively whenever Jethro was less of a bastard to him. Clearly it was something that was very foreign in his relationship with his father and went a long way to explain why Tony had such a distorted idea of what constituted kindness, after all. He also believed Gibbs' head slaps were his way of expressing affection, which was not strictly the case. It was often a convenient way of Gibbs relieving his frustration and anger with a handily situated senior field agent who never complained. It had served his mentor well enough too.

So now he had a problem that he was ill-equipped to deal with. And he couldn't afford to bury his head or his emotions and hope that it all went away. He was going to have to move way out of his usual comfort zone.

HRHRHR

FBI Special Agent Tobias Fornell was negotiating the evening traffic, heading to Gibbs house. As he drove, he pondered why he had received the summons from Jethro out of the blue. As far as he knew, there were no cases pending that might involve the FBI or even any clandestine Ops that Gibbs might want the skinny on. Well of course it was possible that there were but then, if there were, he hadn't been read in on them. And as far as he knew, their ex-wife Dianne hadn't gone on the rampage with a nine iron, at least not lately anyway which might explain why Gibbs would called upon him, if it wasn't professional.

_Guess I'll find out soon enough why Gibbs demanded an audience with me_, he chided himself, as he pulled into Gibbs driveway. Dr Mallard's beloved Morgan was already ensconced in the driveway in front of the garage although though there was no sign of Gibbs vehicle. Tobias decided to go in and interrogate Ducky about what they were doing there while they waited for Gibbs.

As he entered the perpetually unlocked house, he could smell the familiar smell of fresh coffee invading his nostrils and smirked. In the same way that a smoker's years of nicotine use pervaded their homes, furnishings, clothes, even their hair; Gibbs' home and person simply oozed coffee odour. Tobias noticed automatically, that Ducky was brewing coffee and had also made himself a pot of tea that he was slowly pouring into a cup. Tobias smiled at the doctor, who was definitely rather eccentric but still the best in the biz.

"Hey Ducky, any chance of a cup of that coffee you've brewed?"

Ducky smiled and poured him a cup of coffee before handing it to him.

"Jethro's down in the basement, reinforcing some of his Marine stoicism, I suspect, Tobias. You might want to give him a bit of space before you head down there."

"Where's his car Ducky and why are you and I, here?"

" I brought him home tonight, because I didn't want him driving and the answer to why we are here, is known only to Jethro, I'm afraid. I'm certain that all will be revealed in his own sweet time. Meanwhile, why don't you and I order the food?"

Ducky thrust a menu at him and he quickly made his selection. Although they made small talk, he could tell that the usually ebullient medical examiner's thoughts were elsewhere. When the food arrived, Tobias descended down into Gibbs' man cave, to see what was going on with him. He was curious about what was going on and Ducky seemed to be content for him to coax Gibbs up from the basement.

The relationship between him and Gibbs' was a strange mix of camaraderie, based partly upon their mutually shared survival of the devil incarnate, aka Dianne. That and the mutual respect they had forged for each other, after years of trying to one-up each other with joint investigations. While they maintained a healthy competitiveness, mostly born out of the antipathy that existed within the various federal alphabet agencies, they had also ended up watching each other's sixes too. But that didn't mean that they didn't enjoy getting on each other's wick, though.

With this in mind, Tobias crossed the basement floor, unable to resist teasing his old friend. "So I hear that there might be a place opening up on your team soon, Gibbs. Is Probie going to move up to the SFA position? If DiNutso's serious about a upwardly mobile career move, I know my superiors are keen to finally snap him up. I still haven't forgiven you for stealing him out from under me, back in Baltimore. I'd been cultivating him for months, trying to get him on board."

Gibbs simply glared at him. It was a glower that was designed to strip paint off the walls or cause a junior agent to shrivel up like a well salted leech. Tobias was impervious to it though. He may not have a second B for bastard to call upon but he was more than a match for Jethro's patented glare.

He just grinned like he'd seen Jethro's loyal Saint Bernard do, hundreds of times in the past. Of course DiNutzo had also earned hundreds of head slaps too but he figured that there was no way, Gibbs would try it on him. He'd find out pretty damn quick, that the FBI agent could give as good as he got, even if Gibbs was a Marine. Fornell knew a few down and dirty moves of his own too.

C'mon Gibbs, grubs here and I am dying to eat. Haven't had anything since breakfast. Get your ass upstairs now and where's Jack?"

Gibbs gave him a feral smirk but picked up the bottle of bourbon before heading upstairs to join Ducky, who had been mercifully silent since they'd left NCIS headquarters earlier.

HRHRHRHR

Ducky placed the various containers of Chinese takeout food on Gibbs dining table. He had organised plates and spied beer in Gibbs fridge, which he retrieved and placed on the table, too. He was curious about why Jethro had wanted Tobias and himself to join him. He wondered what he had in common with the two federal agents.

Initially, when Tobias and Jethro emerged from the basement, they were occupied by the food that was laid out on the table. Gradually though, Ducky felt as if he was being watched, so he looked up to find them staring in amazement, as he tucked into his healthy choice of stir fried Asian green vegetables and bean curd in Blackbean Sauce. Ducky smiled and offered the container to his two dining companions but they acted as if he had two heads.

"Didn't know ya ate that crap, Duck. Thought Cate was the only one who used to eat satiny tofu?" Gibbs gagged dramatically, while Tobias rolled his eyes

"Try it Jethro," Ducky urged, "fermented beancurd is an extremely healthful food and at my age, I need to be careful with my diet. I'm not as young as I used to be." Although he didn't say it, the subtext of his statement was that Fornell and Gibbs weren't either.

In an effort to change the topic, Gibbs began to outline why he had requested their attendance. "I need your help, guys. There's a possibility that DiNozzo is getting ready to jump ship and I wanta put a stop to it. Duck here, says that it started going haywire cuz my junior agents don't respect the chain of command. Investigated that ... and it's not just Duck that sees it that way either." He glanced at Fornell who nodded his agreement.

"Was real bad apparently, when I took a break down at Mike's place and I reckon it's my fault that those knuckleheads don't respect him like they should. Need to fix it, but aside from making them swab the decks on a battleship or toothbrushes to clean out the heads, I need some help. Figure we could brainstorm ideas. Have a few of my own but need some help to pull em off."

Ducky saw Tobias open his mouth and it didn't take a genius to know what he was about to say. "What makes you think I want help you hold onto DiNutzo Jethro. I've been after him for years. You pinched him out from under me," he teased, not entirely joking.

Ducky smothered a grin as Jethro glared at the Fibbie. "Cuz if I lose him, I'm not gonna feel real sympathetic, next time ya show up at 0100 and ya drunk as a skunk, over Dianne."

He couldn't help himself. Ducky chuckled at the irony that found these two self declared bastards as the ex- husbands of the fiery titian haired Dianne. Fate had fashioned an odd, yet comfortable partnership between the pair. As he cogitated, Tobias and Jethro were off and running, as Fornell seemed to have decided to get with the program.

At first, the suggestions were pretty frivolous. Popular schemes involving toothbrushes and aircraft carriers but gradually they decided on a few key strategies which they hoped would result in attitudinal change. Tobias thought it might help to have an exchange program operating between the teams and he could hammer chain of command issues and Gibbs team might inject a bit of unorthodox investigatory of the DiNozzo variety into his FBI agents in return. He grinned in a feral manner and Ducky could tell he was thinking of getting Anthony onto his team temporarily. Gibbs scowled, although the idea had merit.

Gibbs had been thinking that it would be good for McGee and Ziva to have to use methods favoured by DiNozzo and minus parameters and giga-bitty-bobs in McGee's case and minus lock picks, physical interrogations and spook etiquette in Ziva's case. Having them swap with Fornell's team, especially if it was one at a time, might be a good way to do just that.

Team McGee with the Tobias' agents and not replace Tobias' computer techno-geek, so he was not required in that role. With Ziva, Fornell would slap her down hard if she tried any of her Mossad spy crap with him, because even if he was willing to turn a blind eye to her methods, he simply couldn't afford to do so in the behemoth bureaucracy. Let them both try to generate ideas and leads without access to their usual strengths and see if they were still so blasé about how DiNozzo did what he did. They tossed around dozens of ideas before settling on two more that would need cooperation to pull off.

The medical examiner spluttered when Jethro made a stunningly brilliant suggestion. "Oh my Jethro, you may have accused me of being Machiavellian this afternoon but that is pure evil. No one plays mind games like you do. I already feel sorry for the lad. She is going to eat him for breakfast and coupled with the task and his team, it seems almost evil."

Tobias glanced back and forth between the two friends as they reminisced about the previous encounter, before Ducky took pity on him and let him in of the joke. Tobias started laughing and before long all three were overwhelmed by paroxysm of laughter before they refocused on the job at hand.

"Duck, I need your Mensa contacts and need you to do some psychological profiling on the FLETC recruits and probies so we pick the right candidates. Tobias, is the Prodigy program still operating?"

"Jethro, there is NO prodigy Program." Despite his emphatic denial, his expression said otherwise.

"Fine, Fornell, can ya look for individuals NOT in the Prodigy Program that might be looking for some undercover training experience?"

"Sure Gibbs, I'll do that. Let ya know."

Ducky was smiling again. "So Jethro, you do realise that you borrowed that mentoring idea from our good friend Assistant Chief Amos, don't you? Credit where credits due, dear boy!"

Gibbs' spluttered, hating the thought that his arch nemesis was also the genesis of one of the key elements of his plan to keep his senior agent from jumping ship to Metro PD. He really hated that guy. Maybe not as much as Kort but still, at least the CIA spook wasn't running around, trying to steal his best agent out from under him.

It was blatantly obvious to Fornell and Ducky, that Jethro resented Darryl. He had learnt some interesting Intel about the assistant police chief over the week-end that he thought might give Jethro some insight into Darryl's behaviour.

"I was talking to Stuart Kershaw... the Metro detective after the match on Saturday, Jethro. He told me that a couple of years ago, Darryl and his lovely wife Shandra lost their only child to depression. Apparently, he was at graduate school and was popular and outgoing, so no one had any idea that he was struggling because he was such a good actor. I suspect that our Anthony reminds Darryl of his boy, and that is why he has a soft spot for him. Darryl's marriage never survived Matthew's suicide and now he is alone my friend, apart from his officers."

Ducky could see Jethro processing that information, no doubt noting the parallels with his own personal life. He thought it was ironic that both of these childless men had zeroed in on Anthony, intuitively determining his need of a supportive father influence. Yet they were worlds apart in demeanour. While Darryl definitely wore his heart on his sleeve when it came to young Anthony, Gibbs on the other hand was more likely to chew his arm off than admit that he needed Anthony just as much as the young man needed him too.

HRHRHR

Ducky turned his pride and joy towards home, thinking about the night with the two curmudgeonly, federal agents. They maintained this facade at work that they couldn't stand each other, but the truth was that they were strangely good friends. It had certainly been an interesting night on top of an emotionally fraught discussion in Autopsy.

Luckily Jethro seemed to be more centred than he had been during that most difficult conversation. He had refused to have Tobias stay over with him and was equally pig headed about coming home with him. It would seem he had developed a rather extreme aversion to little old ladies and randy Welsh corgis but the medical examiner was feeling much more sanguine about leaving Jethro to his own devices.

A night of convivial food and fellowship seemed to work miracles for the taciturn team leader. He was his gruff, growly, constipated self again and busy making plans to fix what was broken.

Next Chapter: A much needed conversation.


	22. Chapter 22

Rating: T

Disclaimer: They aren't mine... mores the pity :( Just having fun.

A/N Sorry this has been a while coming and the chapter is quite a lot longer than my average chapters so far but I couldn't find a good place to break it into two. Thanks to my Beta BuckeyeGirl00000 for her help. Could resist fiddling with it so any errors are my bad :)

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted, faved etc. Would love to hear from all the people who are following along. No... really! Far be it for me to beg or anything LOL

This chapter is my take on the reconciliation that most have you have been wanting for a while now. I hope you won't be dissapointed because it may not be quite what you are expecting. It also may be a little OC but I figure something pretty earthshattering had to occur to explain the difference in the relationship between Gibbs and DiNozzo, from the beginning of the season to what is became at the end of season 6.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 22

Gibbs was driving quite sedately, at least by his own standards anyway. Other people might say that he was still speeding but for once, he wasn't exceeding the speed limit by all that much. Truthfully, he wasn't busting a gut either, to get to his destination. He was using the extra driving time, to mentally prepare for a very important conversation with his senior field agent, to try and put some things to rights. The taciturn leader of the MCRT was still not exactly sure what to say to him, as he was a person that found expressions of any emotions other than anger to be difficult, if not impossible.

So he was taking his own sweet time, driving to Tony's apartment as he tried to find the inspiration that had been eluding him, for the last few days. He focused on the advice that Ducky had offered when he'd gone seeking his advice.

"Try to put yourself in his position and concentrate on acknowledging his grievances but identifying the most important one and try and deal with that. Baby steps are better than trying to deal with too much at once. What would be the most pressing issue between you and Anthony which needs addressing? What would you want addressed if the roles were reversed? Figure that out and you will know where to begin."

_And therein lay the problem, _hemused because there were way too many of issues and insults to be dealt with, so where to start?

HRHRHR

Tony heard a familiar pounding on his door. It was impatient and demanding and there could only be one person who banged on a door like that. The same person, who was just as likely to leave you behind at a crime scene, if you didn't get into the car quickly enough, because he was such an impatient bastard. An individual who could and did take your head off, if you didn't have the information he wanted, even if it was a totally unreasonable expectation. Tony sighed deeply, because he really didn't feel up to dealing with temper tantrums and equally he didn't fancy navigating 'nice for now' Gibbs either.

He was still getting his head around Gibbs' schizoid behaviour at the barbeque last Saturday. Allowing Abby to con him into playing a game he was totally unfamiliar with, against what the former Marine would see as the enemy, was very much out of character. Then, later on, his typical insistence on Tony justifying why he had invited Marion, his former nurse had been vintage Gibbs, infuriating but at least normal behaviour. Then out of nowhere came 'Pod Gibbs' who was actually verbally competent and willingly sang his praises in front of a bunch of LEOs and NCIS personnel. And if that wasn't damned hinky enough, Gibbs' doppelganger then totally blew the ruse that he was the real Gibbs by smashing Rule 6 and apologising.

Sure 'Pod Gibbs' had managed to make Vance look like a jackass in front of the Metro Police Chief and a heap of Metro Unies and Dees but still, he couldn't fathom why Gibbs had behaved in such a totally uncharacteristic manner. Now he had Gibbs banging at the door and he wasn't sure if he was able to take anymore schizoid-acting Gibbs or even 'Pod Gibbs' for that matter. He sighed again, as the pounding grew more impatient and he gingerly stood up, slowly limped his way across the room to open his front door.

HRHRHR

Sitting in his leather armchair, warily watching Gibbs as he sat drinking several mugs of fresh brewed Jethro-strength coffees, Tony sighed silently and wondered how long before Gibbs would leave. It had been several years since their partnership had been really good and he remembered sadly, how easy it had been to work together in the old days. Since Halloween, what was left of their easy-going intuitive communication seemed to have disappeared forever and to Tony, it was just one more reason to hate the damned stupid holiday. Gibbs, who might be a functional mute, had always managed to get his point across in the past, now seemed to treat him like a stranger.

Gibbs had been trying to work his way up to say something and kept hesitating and looking like he would rather be anywhere else but here, in his apartment spending time with his second. It wasn't the first time since the shooting that Gibbs had treated him like he was some kind of piece of emotional nitro glycerine, ready to explode at the slightest sign of stress. Tony was fed up with it and decided it was time to take the bull by the horns or in this case, to poke the bear with a very sharp pointy stick and hope he would spit out, whatever it was he was choking on. He just hoped he didn't get too badly mauled in the process.

"Not that I want to be rude or anything Gibbs, but did you actually want to speak to me about something specific?"

He flashed an irritated look at Tony, annoyed to be put on the spot. "Wanted to make sure you are planning on coming back next week, DiNozzo? You're scheduled for desk duties."

"Is there some reason why you would need to check, Gibbs? You've never done that before," Tony looked pained as he questioned his boss.

"Yeah well, you never threaten to leave before, DiNozzo." Gibbs glowered at him.

"Fair enough, Boss. At this stage, I will be back next week and if that changes, I will inform you as soon as I can."

"Tony" he began.

_Okaaay, 'Pod Gibbs' was back again,_ Tony mentally grimaced.

"Don't leave, the team needs you." Gibbs took a deep breath and tried again. "Things haven't been right for a while and I'm sorry. I know I need to fix stuff. I'm sorry you weren't read in on Domino. I didn't think it would be such a problem and you weren't supposed to engage the guards."

He belatedly realised that the last sentence had come out all wrong. It sounded as if he was blaming Tony for copping a rifle-butt to the head, when the truth was, that it was Ziva that had upped the ante, by responding with her reflexes rather than her brain. He looked across at Tony and found him staring at him with a sceptical expression which he should have been prepared for. Hell, he thought he _was_ prepared for it, but seeing his Loyal Saint Bernard of an agent, regarding him with barely disguised doubt instead of his previous trust bordering on religious fervour, hurt even more than he had envisaged.

It made it much more difficult to remain calm and think about what he wanted to say before he said it. It also made it so much easier to slip into his default mode of opening his mouth without engaging his brain cells or thinking about what he was saying. Simply falling back into well worn phrases, platitudes and his rules, which were always going to get him into trouble in this most delicate apology.

"What DiNozzo, do I ever say anything that I don't mean?" The moment it was out of Gibbs mouth, he knew it was the wrong thing to say and confirmation was forthcoming immediately in the form of Tony's expression shifting from confused and doubting, to closed off and cynical. If any further evidence that he had blundered big-time was required, it could be detected in the slightly sardonic tone, if not the words uttered in reply.

"Of course not, Gibbs."

_Gibbs not Boss,_ he noticed which along with the expression, tone and equally important, what hadn't been said; pushed his buttons and like a baited bear, he attacked.

"Don't patronise me, DiNozzo. If you've got something to say to me, then say it. When have I ever lied?"

Tony sighed, wishing that he'd never opened his door to Gibbs but knowing that ultimately, it wouldn't have stopped him getting in. He would have just picked the lock and let himself in, regardless. Days gone by, he'd given Gibbs a key to his apartment but since he gave up the old apartment when he was assigned Agent Afloat for four months, given the strained nature of their partnership since his return, he hadn't ever felt right about offering a spare key to his boss. More telling perhaps, Gibbs had never demanded one like he had in the past. Tony glanced across, observing that Gibbs was turning a rather unflattering shade of puce and wondered how he'd handle the truth.

"We lie every single day, Gibbs and I'm not talking about the little white lies that everyone, even you engage in without being aware of it. I'm not talking about so called Emergency Lies that we are forced into by The Powers That Be and National Security issues which mean we can't tell civilians what really goes down. I'm not even referring to the bluffing that we do every time we question a suspect or we interrogate a dirtbag to get a confession out of them when they are guilty. I'm also not talking about the bluffing and BS you engage in every single day when you con the team into spilling information in the mistaken belief that you already knew it." He took a breath before continuing his discourse.

"Nor am I speaking about Butler Lies when you use technology to lie for you, by having one of us call you out of a terminally dull Team Leader meeting or to get you a reprieve from a diatribe in Jenn's office." Tony's face grimaced in pain when he realised who he'd just referred to. He might not have forgiven her for her using him, in such a cavalier fashion but he also blamed himself for her death and believed that Gibbs did too.

"I'm not talking about simple economy with the truth, half truths or misleading and dissembling which we do whenever it is expedient when dealing with rival agencies, bureaucrats, Directors and the fourth estate. Let's not even get into your liberal use of jocose lies or how everyone uses haystack answers to deliver a modicum of truth, surrounded by some crap so that the truth remains hidden from sight. Speaking of hay-stacking, I could be considered quite an expert in the art." Tony couldn't stand to stay seated while he ranted. He hauled himself up, without his usual grace and limped painfully back and forth as he continued.

"Let's just focus on lies of omission and minimisation. Of the effects of being economic with the facts, shall we, Gibbs? Which when you think about it, kind of go hand in hand. Do the words Domino and Mole mean anything to you? What about shielding your ex-boss from charges of aiding and abetting illegal aliens from entering the country, without proper visas or first degree murder of a Russian criminal or even the minor matter of assault of a NCIS agent?"

"Should we discuss how falsifying reports of how Ari Haswari was killed is not an example of lying? Let's not forget leaving details out of a report, that an EOD Marine instructor's donation of a kidney was the catalyst for the tampering with an innocent body so a Marine avoided being given a medical discharge? So to save his butt, it was okay to let the Marine father who blew up a John Doe off scott free to keep that secret?"

He noticed the shocked expression on Gibbs' face. "You might like to think that you were being discreet Gibbs, but even a dumb- assed cop like me, can smell a cover-up and do some digging of my own. Did you really think that after years of ballistic experience, the pattern of gun shots that took out Arkady Kobach and his fellow dirtbag, wouldn't make me immediately suspicious? Or that you never gave a straight answer to how Ari ended up dead in your basement? And when these things come out and note I say when, not if, no one will believe that the team was ignorant about what was going on."

Tony glanced at his boss and softened his tone. "As for the lie of omission that was personal but might make you vulnerable professionally, I can understand why you always made the distinction that you had three ex-wives and failed to mention Shannon or Kelly's deaths."

Gibbs' head shot up, as he tried to read the import behind what DiNozzo had meant about their deaths making him vulnerable. There was no way that he could know about Pedro Hernandez, was there?

"Everybody lies Gibbs, even you and if you can't accept that truth, then I guess Jean Paul Sartre's definition of 'bad faith' is appropriate here. He believed that it is possible for someone to be the perpetrator of a lie and also the victim of the lie and indeed, successfully self deceive." Tony shook his head, sad that his mentor could lie to himself, that way. He skidded to a halt, his frenetic pacing replaced by a slower limping stumble before he collapsed back into his chair, drained.

HRHRHR

A week ago, Gibbs would have come out swinging. Incandescent that anyone, let alone a subordinate would speak to him in such a blunt manner. The fact that it was all delivered in a world weary and totally dispassionate fashion, added pure salt to the wounds. Yet, having been softened up considerably over the past days by what Ducky had already had to say on the topic of self delusion, coupled with the truths that DiNozzo had so baldly stated, had effectively extinguished his de-facto response of attack to take no prisoners. He knew that Tony was a great investigator, but he also had no idea that he was aware of the numerous times that he had flaunted procedures, protocol and even the law. Not just the small petty stuff either. Hell, who was he kidding, because it wasn't his second in command, obviously? He hadn't just flaunted the law, he had made it bend over while he screwed it into oblivion and if that wasn't bad enough, he'd clearly made his best agent an accessory after the fact.

How long had he known what Gibbs had done and stayed silent? How had his compulsively verbose second in command manage to stay silent and never indicated that he knew what a hypocrite his boss was? While the rest of his transgressions had been about covering up the actions of others, did he really know or simply surmise that Gibbs was a cold blooded killer, who had used his Marine training to exact personal vengeance upon the parasite who was responsible for the death of his family?

That Tony, who Ducky believed had become a surrogate son to him, really knew what he had done, was too damned painful to contemplate. He was never meant to know. No one who knew him, apart from Mike Franks was ever supposed to find out his secret but even as he tried to put it behind him and become the husband and father that Shannon and Kelly should have had, it had corrupted him. If he was truly honest, his repeated willingness to overlook Mike's moral and ethical ambiguity and flagrant disregard for the law Mike had sworn to uphold, had more to do with owing his mentor because he had helped him commit and cover up Hernandez's demise, than because he was Gibbs' mentor and former boss. And now, he was dragging down his protégé who was covering up for him and not for any self-serving reasons. If Ducky was correct, it was because he looked upon him as a father figure. Tony was jeopardising his own career for him and all he got in return, was an A class abusive bastard.

Unable to deal with such enormous ramifications, he took a leaf out of the DiNozzo playbook and he deflected. He kept his voice well modulated and his body language as neutral as was possible for him. He allowed himself the luxury of a slightly raised eyebrow as he spoke into the empty, pregnant silence that had existed since Tony's treatise on lying had concluded.

"Sounds as if you have given the topic of lying quite a deal of thought, DiNozzo. Mind my asking why?" He really hoped that Tony wouldn't tell him it was because of Gibbs behaviour.

Tony was really surprised by the question posed by his clearly schizoid boss. He was expecting to have his clock cleaned for daring to talk to Gibbs that way. Although he guessed that his boss had been surprised by his intimate knowledge of the topic, he also recognised the deflection for what it was but he decided to go with it anyway. It wasn't exactly a secret to Gibbs anymore, so he answered honestly.

"Haven't you ever wondered what makes me such a natural at undercover work, Gibbs? Ever since I found out that my father could and would hurt anyone that tried to help me, I've been undercover. Trying to finding ways to convince people who bothered to notice, that the bruises, cuts, sprains and breaks were because I was a hyperactive, sports crazy, clumsy kid that led a charmed and privileged life, who was loved and wanted by his parents.

Hour upon hour, searching for better ways to lie to the rest of the world, so they would never find out that I was a weak, pathetic kid, who must have been such a little shit, that his own father disowned him when he was twelve years old. When each day, it got harder to maintain the fairytale that I was worth keeping around as a friend and peer, I became something of an expert in the science of lying and deception, trying to ensure no one ever knew the truth. At least it has served me well when I've been undercover with the Macaluso clan and helped me to build a better, stronger undercover personality every time I changed precincts and departments, searching for the perfect me."

Gibbs felt like he had been kicked in the gut by a Clydesdale horse as he heard the heartbreaking explanation delivered in a totally matter-of-fact tone of voice, devoid of expression which seemed to be all the more devastating. He wanted to destroy everyone that had wrought such devastation on Tony but then, that would mean that he would have to shoot himself, too. He wished he could have a do-over for the last few years starting before he'd run off to Mexico. Sadly it was not something that was a possibility in any world, other than some alternate universe damned movie that Tony would be likely to watch.

It did clue him in, to a possible basis for DiNozzo's obsession with movies though, where all things were possible and good triumphed over evil. Where escapism could numb pain and despair and where everyone lived happily ever after. To a young boy, it would have been an intoxicating philosophy not to mention an excellent means of filling in hours spent recovering, while having to lug around pounds of plaster of Paris and flying under the radar of his shit-heel of a father.

Gibbs couldn't say for sure whether it was Tony's calling him out on his honesty so comprehensively, and with such dispassion or because of his equally frank and unemotional revelation about his skill for subterfuge. Maybe it was the combination of both factors but whatever it was; it cracked his normal defence mechanisms and made him aware of his tightly repressed higher emotions. Emotions he buried, down so deep since his girls had gone, that he was convinced that all that was good in him, had died when they did.

He'd occasionally felt a mild stirring, deep within himself. When Cate had died or Abby was threatened, he felt it stir although Abby routinely managed to evoke a pale imitation of the love and happiness he had once known with his family, even if it wasn't the same. It was more like looking at a photograph and recalling what he had once had, than really experiencing the true emotion itself. Perhaps because his pain at losing them, never seemed to let go of him long enough, for him to love anyone else with any intensity.

He was so damned angry at the world for taking away the best and brightest people in his life and he shut out all emotions other than anger and pain. Ducky always said that he punished himself by not working through his grief and holding onto it instead. What his old friend diplomatically refrained from coming out and saying, was that he became a bastard par excellence and somewhere along the way, he'd decided that if he had to suffer then the whole world should too. He'd tried to replace Shannon with pale facsimiles in the form of three short-lived and ultimately doomed marriages. When they inevitably found they could never live up to perfection of his slain wife, his childhood sweetheart who he had never mourned or let go, he'd made them pay by making their lives a misery and effectively driving them away. He tortured his subordinates, peers and superiors, basically everyone else in his life too, because making others miserable, seemed to be a fair trade for him having to endure his life without his girls.

Gibbs could see now, that he'd wallowed in his grief, refusing to deal with it or talk to anyone about it. He'd used it as an excuse to go around acting like a arrogant prick for the last twenty years and treat everyone else like a piece of crap. As a law enforcement professional, he'd always been scathing about the sad individuals he convicted, who always used some past event as an all encompassing excuse for not taking responsibility for their future and hurting innocent people.

Those 'poor-pitiful-me' types made him feel utter contempt for them and their excuses and he felt proud to bring them to justice when they stepped over the line and broke the law. Yet how different was what he was doing, especially when he hurt those people closest to him like his ex-wives, his teammates, DiNozzo? How pathetic was he to resent Tony for unwittingly filling the void left by his daughter and therefore wanting to make him pay for something he had no control over.

He experienced a sudden flashback of a car filling up with murky water and a shattered windscreen with Maddie Tyler being dragged to the surface by a determined Tony. He recalled the sense of peace he experienced in knowing that Kelly's best friend was safe and he could let go and finally join his beloved wife and child. He remembered his pain and disbelief when his daughter appeared to him, turning him away and the terrible knife to his heart that it had caused. He'd told himself that it was because it wasn't his time; that he still had work to do in hunting down dirtbags and they would be reunited sooner or later.

But what if Kelly had been telling him that he couldn't be reunited because he didn't deserve to join them? He knew that his girls would have been welcomed by Saint Peter with open arms but when he really stopped to think about it, would he be invited into Heaven to spend eternity with his beautiful family? His moral ambiguity and readiness to bend the law when it was expedient, along with his riding roughshod over other people's emotions just because he had lost his family, wasn't exactly a ringing endorsement.

Perhaps Saint Peter had been ready to deliver a "you won't do" to him and relegate him to the fires of eternal damnation for his sins and wasted opportunities before Tony had dragged him to the surface and gave him the kiss of life. Maybe Tony hadn't prevented his reunion with his girls but had given him a second chance to save his soul and ultimately have a chance to see them again. And by saving Maddie, it was definitely one less black mark against Gibbs' account, when his day of reckoning arrived.

He wasn't the first person to lose his loved ones to unjust circumstances. He'd investigated many Marine and Navy families that lost loved ones and seen people rise above their pain and grief to move on, even though it was the worst pain imaginable. He'd always told himself he was doing that. Being noble and driven in finding justice for the families of the victims he encountered at NCIS. Yet was it selfless to drive everyone to the point of exhaustion and deny them the ability to have a meaningful private life or treat everyone like shit and revel in his reputation as a bastard?

The man in front of him had endured his own fair share of pain and loss over the years but hadn't turned into a bitter individual, who looked to make other people miserable. Tony went out of his way to look after those individuals he thought of as friends and family, with a fierce loyalty and dedication that shamed him. DiNozzo had allowed Marion who was little more than a stranger, to meet with him so she could apologise for not protecting him when she should have. His suffering had forged a strongly developed empathy because he cared about other people who were in pain and that made him a truly great agent. He didn't lash out at others and never hesitated to sacrifice himself for others in both the mundane details and the grand heroic gestures.

Gibbs couldn't help himself. He grabbed DiNozzo in a very manly bear hug and proceeded to beg like a girl for his senior field agent not to leave, because he didn't think he could survive if he left him alone.

HRHRHR

Tony was becoming increasingly concerned about Gibbs' behaviour. He was beginning to wonder if instead of a 'Pod Gibbs' he might actually be ill or suffering from extreme exhaustion because he would never even think that Gibbs was padded room material. He'd thought that Gibbs was behaving weirdly around him, because he couldn't deal with the revelations of Tony's Halloween injury but perhaps it was something else entirely. He was about to get up and make Gibbs another obligatory cup of coffee when Gibbs launched himself at him and Tony flinched, expecting his boss was going to make him pay for what he had said to him. He really shouldn't have told him he knew about Ari and Hernandez but he was tired of all the mind games that Gibbs played, as naturally as he breathed.

Tony braced himself for the former Gunny to whoop his ass and was gobsmacked when Gibbs seized him in a fierce body hug that made Abby's hugs seem like the gentlest of caresses, by comparison. And if that wasn't hinky enough to have Tony trying to reach for his cell phone and hit the speed dial for Ducky, the broken rambling from Gibbs' lips, made him bite down hard into his lips and dig his nails into the fleshy part of his palms to make sure he wasn't having a nightmare. Even feeling the sharp pain, he still wasn't sure if maybe it wasn't him that was hallucinating, as Gibbs continued to gibber incoherently.

Tony tried but he couldn't make head nor tails about what Gibbs was on about and he briefly considered the possibility that he might be drugged. How else could he explain Gibbs pleading him not to leave the team and thanking him giving him the chance to save his soul? How could anyone come to terms with The Boss spouting crap about epiphanies and 'ah hah' moments?

Tony would never have pegged Gibbs as the type to be parroting Oprah-like emotional sentiments and lingo. Hell, he was shocked that Gibbs even knew such terms although with three ex-wives, he guessed it would be naive to think that any adult male in a committed relationship, would escape without exposure to the Queen of self-help television. Maybe if you hung out in a yurt in the outer regions of Mongolia or belonged to a cannibal tribe in the highlands of Papua New Guinea, you might but then again, he doubted it.

Now, although he couldn't get his head around it, Gibbs was sounding at least to an independent observer, to be making more sense. He was raving about his remorse for repeatedly not observing Rule One, not respecting his SFA and chain of command issues which was so out of character that Tony wondered if Gibbs was spiking a fever and renewed his attempts to secure his phone. Gibbs was becoming more incoherent as he continued to ramble about wanting to get back at him for Rene Benoit and using Domino to do it, dentists, marks and something being irreplaceable. Tony decided that maybe a padded room was in Gibbs future and he tuned out the ramblings of a lunatic, focusing on trying to free himself before he was accidently asphyxiated.

He started speaking slowly in calm measured tones, even though his brain was rapidly spinning out of control. Tony finally managed to extricate his right arm and tried rubbing, large slow circular motions on Gibbs back, to try to soothe him, while the former Marine continued his dry eyed rambling. He tried to get Gibbs to focus and let him go because ever since he'd survived the pneumonic plague, along with his phobia of needles, he had developed an irrational fear of suffocating, Since then, he found even Abby's enthusiastic hugs would sometimes trigger extreme panic.

He tried to reach Gibbs, by offering him coffee or a large glass of Jack but it had no effect on the flood of incoherence that spewed past his lips. For a functional mute, he was exhibiting the most extreme case of verbal diarrhoea that Tony had ever heard. As his panic at being held so tight increased and his ability to efficiently process oxygen declined, he became desperate. Later on he tried to justify doing it because of hypoxia but more likely he had just had a death wish. Whatever the explanation, in a blind panic he finally reached around with his right hand and delivered a mighty Gibbs' slap to the back of the head of the legendary LJ Gibbs, hard enough to shock him into silence.

NB Unies = Uniformed Officers & Dees = Detectives.

Next Chapter: Confidentiality clauses and tonsil hockey.


	23. Chapter 23

Rating: T

Disclaimer: No they aren't mine but if they were...

A/N Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last epic chapter. I was overjoyed to see a couple of first timers and quite a few guests leave a review and I apologise for not being able to thank them personally. I really appreciate when people take the time to let me know their thoughts : ) Big thanks to my Beta BuckeyeGirl00000 for her help and always being so timely in getting chapters back with edits. I hope that you enjoy the next chapter which is a lot shorter than the last one and less intense. Alas no head slaps though...

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 23

Special Agent McGee stood in front of the mirror, admiring the sartorial splendour of his new pale grey Armani single breasted suit. DiNozzo had taught him that a good suit could do wonders for his image and now that he had an image as a successful author and the bank balance to match, he enjoyed dressing well. Image was especially important now that Director Vance had anointed him as the new face of NCIS and a possible successor to the position as head of the agency. He was hoping to make a particularly good impression today, as it was the first day of his week long stint in the exchange between the MCRT and Special Agent Fornell's team at the FBI. It would look great on his CV if he broke a case or two.

Tim was really excited, because this could be his opportunity to impress the right people. As Leon had told him, he deserved to be so more than just the junior agent on Gibbs team, especially after his increased responsibilities down in the cyber crimes basement. Hopefully, this week he would get the respect that was due to him and he could show Fornell and his team his true mettle. All the way across town as he drove to FBI building, he was imagining how cool it would be to be addressed by his actual name for a change and not be the butt of infantile jokes or hazing by the childish Tony DiNozzo. Although to be fair, since Tony had been shot in the thigh by a dirtbag in an armed robbery, he had been off on sick leave and the bull pen had been pretty peaceful.

After he had reported to the security desk and organised his temporary ID for the week, Fornell had sent down one of his junior agents to escort McGee up to the squad room. Shauna Jameson was a grey eyed, blonde who was a diminutive five foot five inches but what she lacked in height, she more than made up for in force of personality. McGee decided he really wouldn't like to get on her bad side and like Ziva; she was probably someone to tread warily around. He didn't stop to think that he had difficulty confronting any woman who had a strong personality. Even Abby was able to intimidate the heck out of him and make him spill his guts, without any special combat training or packing a gun.

Fornell greeted him with a perfunctory handshake. "You've already met Special Agent Shauna Jameson and you already know Special Agent Ron Sacks, my second in command. The final member of my team, Daniel Chan is taking your slot at NCIS this week, so you can use his desk. Quid pro quo I guess, because Chan is probably sitting at your desk, as we speak. Stow your gear McGee, you're with me."

The crusty FBI agent gave him a quick tour of the building, pointing out all the relevant places he would need to visit over the next few days. He stopped off at Human Resources to have Tim complete some paper work, before escorting him up to the Legal Department. Rather to his surprise, Tim found himself sitting at a desk across from a thin-lipped humourless lawyer. He kept giving McGee the evil eye across the desk, as he requested that he read the paperwork carefully before signing it. McGee scanned the legal document carefully and realised that it wasn't your standard run of the mill form.

"Um I think I already signed a non-disclosure declaration down in HR," he told the legal eagle who had introduced himself as Craig Edington-Wylde.

"That is correct, Special Agent McGee but that was just the standard everyday form we have everybody sign. I've drafted this one specifically for this situation."

"You mean because this is an interagency exchange program?" Tim asked curiously.

Edington-Wylde smirked. "No Special Agent, it was deemed prudent after a risk analysis, that a more specific and all-encompassing document was required for your unique situation. I personally drafted it myself." He examined the field agent with barely disguised contempt, before continuing. "I'll leave you to read it over in peace before you sign it. I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't direct you to familiarise yourself with the section on penalties incurred for breeching confidentiality, during your stint at the Bureau."

Before Tim had a chance to reply, he had slipped out of the office. Bemused, he read through the legal document, noting that it specifically made reference to divulging any details about FBI personnel. He carefully read the section on penalties for breaking confidentiality, noting that it included incarceration and seizure of assets. Maybe my mad hacking reputation has them all running scared, he mused before there was a knock on the door and Fornell stuck his head round the door.

"Have you read that McGee?"

When he nodded assent, Tobias entered the office with Edington-Wylde on his six. "Good, then if you are prepared to sign it, we'll witness your signature."

On his way back to the bull pen, McGee cleared his throat and looked at Fornell. "So I guess my superior computer skills, make you Fibbies antsy enough to draft an individual confidentiality document just for me?"

Fornell snorted. "Don't flatter yourself kid! You might be good but there will always be people in this world who are better, smarter, faster. We have an IT wizard that works with the BAU and we don't have to worry about our dirty linen ending up aired in public either," he replied.

"It was decided that we needed a specially drafted confidentiality agreement because the Legal Department, not to mention every agent, plus all the techies and admin staff, refused to work with you unless we guaranteed that they didn't end up as characters in your next 'best seller.' If I so much as suspect that you have used details of FBI cases or personnel in your books, I will rip off your gonads and blend them up and make you drink them as a smoothie, McGee. Do I make myself clear?"

He leaned up close to Tim so that his beak like proboscis was literally flush against his own and fixed him with a glare that was every bit as intimidating as L.J. Tibbs...er Gibbs.

Tim swallowed nervously, and much to his annoyance found himself stuttering as he answered. "Y...yes s...sir." He took several deep breaths in relief as Fornell stepped out of his personal space.

"But my books aren't based on actual cases or real people, Fornell."

He really wished he'd kept his trap shut, when the FBI agent levelled a glare at him that was a combination of disbelief and contempt.

"Keep telling yourself that Elf Lord and maybe you'll be the only one in the building that really believes that crap. May I offer you a word from the wise, Son?" The grizzled agent got back into his face again in a parody of the archetypal avuncular uncle, an anger barely simmering beneath his veneer of helpfulness.

"If you really want to convince anyone that your cases and characters aren't stolen straight out of your work files in the MCRT then you should try and be a little more subtle. You might try using names for your 'characters' that aren't so instantly recognisable that a kid with ADHD could make the connection. Do you honestly expect anyone to believe L. J Tibbs is a fictitious character in a novel, or Pimmy Jalmer could be anyone other than the Autopsy Gremlin?"

"You might want to think about combining cases and characters or changing identifiers, perhaps come up composites if you are so creatively challenged you can't come up with something on your own. Just don't use us or our cases." He smiled before he leant up close and personal, as he patted Tim gently on the cheek with an undisguised feral gleam in his eyes.

By the time he got back to the FBI squad room, Tim was shell shocked and collapsed in his chair wondering how he was going to get through the rest of the week. Fornell ignored him and issued instructions.

"I'm going to be in conference with the Assistant Director about the surveillance tonight. Ron, read McGee in on the case and the objectives for the party tonight. Make sure that all the surveillance equipment is good to go and everything is as it should be. Is the van requisitioned Jameson?"

Shauna paused from examining her computer monitor to nod her assent and Tobias nodded his approval before heading off, then doubling back.

"Just so we are all clear, in my absence Special Agent McGee, Special Agent Sacks is in charge so if he gives you an order, then you will obey it, clear?"

"Crystal, Fornell."

Sacks gathered up several files, looked across at Shauna asking if she was good to go. In response she grabbed her laptop and stood up too.

The tall dark skinned agent looked at McGee and said. "Let's get you read in on our case, in the conference room Special Agent McGregor."

Tim shot him an evil glare and spat out, "it's McGee, not McGregor, Sacks."

Sacks just raised one eyebrow and pulled out his cell phone to call in the extra agents and techs that were going to be in on the operation tonight.

He led the way to a conference room and sat waiting for the rest of the undercover team to arrive. Several other agents filed in and Sacks frowned as he barked, "Where's Cameron?"

One of the techies shrugged and looked at the other. She shook her head too. "I haven't seen him today, Sacks."

"Okay, well let's get started without him. I can run through with him later on. By the way, Lopez and O'Reilly, this is Tim McGee. He's from NCIS Major Case Response Team and here for the rest of the week."

The two techies glared at him and he wasn't sure if it was due to interagency rivalry or because of his books but he definitely wasn't feeling the love. This wasn't going to be the wonderful experience that he had envisaged. He realised belatedly, that Sacks had asked Shauna to summarise the case. Apparently, there were a number of Senators who had suddenly changed their votes on critical issues, especially defence legislation and there were a lot of high profile criminal cases that were being wrongly ruled as mistrials or had been summarily dismissed by the presiding judges. Rumours were rife that there was a highly organised syndicate that was blackmailing politicians, judicial personnel and cops.

One name kept coming up, a Stella Thymes who was the head of a high priced escort service. She did a lot of entertaining of highly influential Washington types and Fornell's team was desperate to get access to her client list and computer. If she was setting up victims for extortion and manipulation, there had to be someone who stood to gain from letting criminals walk free, influence legislation and potentially threaten national security. It was hoped that they could find out who was actually orchestrating the plot, by planting surveillance cameras in Thymes' study.

Sacks' cell phone buzzed and he stepped away to take the call. He cursed and hung up, as everyone looked up to see what was wrong.

"Okay folks, we have a problem. Cameron's car was T-boned on his way in this morning and he on the operating table as we speak, with internal injuries. We're going to need a replacement, damn it!"

Jameson looked worried. "Is Cam going to be okay?"

Sack shrugged. "Too soon to say, docs are cautiously optimistic."

Shauna Jameson frowned. Theirs was a dangerous profession but it seemed ironic that an agent had been injured in a run of the mill vehicular accident, on the way to work. "I'll go in, under cover in his place Ron."

He shook his head. "No Shauna, we've been over this earlier. You questioned Stella Thymes once before on another investigation. She's likely to recognise you as a FBI agent."

"I can wear a wig and some coloured contacts. There isn't anyone else available at such short notice. You need someone with the IT skills to get into her computer because it's bound to have security measures guarding her data and you know you aren't up for that big guy."

Sacks scowled at her. "No Shauna...no way. We'll manage something else."

McGee spoke up. "What about me? I have the computer skills, obviously. I could do it."

Sacks stared at him considering all the pros and cons of having someone with him at the party who had the computer smarts versus taking in someone who he really wasn't sure, could have his back.

"How much undercover work have you done McGregor?"

McGee flushed in anger. Agent Sacks was just as big a jerk as DiNozzo, it seemed. He didn't even stop, to think that Sacks might have an ulterior motive in trying to rattle his cage, to see if he could handle himself under pressure.

"I worked undercover quite a bit Sacks," McGee huffed. He didn't mention that all of his undercover assignments had been as wait staff or room service workers. DiNozzo always grabbed all the plumb assignments and he got the leftovers and bit parts because Tony was the Diva. Maybe now, he had a chance to prove he was just as good as DiNozzo.

Director Vance had all but said that he deserved to be a senior field agent, maybe even a team leader. He was MIT grad and a successful author, who could spin a yarn better than most undercover operatives. How hard could it really be if Tony was good at it? Tim had every confidence he could excel at being undercover. He just needed a chance to prove himself and he wasn't going to take no for an answer, even if he had to talk himself up a bit to get it. He'd take a leaf out of DiNozzo's playbook. All his stories of undercover Ops had to be part hyperbole at the very least.

Sacks didn't look swayed by McGee's confidence. "I'll discuss it with Fornell but for the record McGregor, I'd prefer to go in solo if it can't be Cameron or Jameson."

HRHRHRHR

"God damn it McGregor, I thought you said you were a hotshot undercover operative? You totally blew our mission. What the hell didn't you play along with me like I told you? If you hadn't blown our cover like that, I could have probably talked our way out of trouble. You acted like a complete undercover virgin Mr Gemcity," Sacks bellowed, wishing he could do more than yell at the stupid idiot.

He really wanted to land a couple of punches on the NCIS agent's nose. He'd blown months of work and Sacks was really hoping that they hadn't tipped their hand. Fornell and he had a contingency plan in place in case they needed an emergency extraction. They had the Metro PD Drug Squad on standby with some drug detection dogs in tow. They hoped that it would be a diversion and they could send in a few agents disguised as narcs. Hopefully if Stella Thymes thought she was being investigated by the cops for drug violations, she wouldn't panic and bolt.

Damn McGee. All he had to do was just go along with his improvisation. They'd managed to get into the party by being part of Senator Peters' entourage and he'd agreed to get them inside so they could set up bugs and search Thymes' computer. Even when her security staff had caught the two agents in Thymes' inner sanctum, Sacks had kept his cool. Unfortunately McGee hadn't!

Earlier that evening:

Sacks had planted all the surveillance devices and was now keeping lookout while McGee was searching the computer. He could see Thymes' security staff heading towards the study, so he whistled a prearranged signal before he rushed to the desk and whispered frantically. "We've been made!"

McGee hit the switch and the computer died but when Sacks grabbed him and pushed him down on the desk, as he locked lips with McGee, the NCIS agent freaked on him. Instead of going along with the ruse that they had ducked into the study for a bit of privacy while they made out, McGee started acting like some damned vestal virgin protecting his damned virtue. He tried pushing Sacks off him and turning his head to avoid the kiss before slapping him hard across the cheek.

Even that wouldn't have been so bad. Sacks could have worked with that. Explained it away, as a couple of lovers that had had a tiff and his lover not wanting to accept his apology but McGee had been so panicked by the make-out session that he'd had to go and yell out at him.

"Get off me Sacks. I am not gay."

If looks could kill, Sack would have incinerated the idiot. That he hadn't only not played along with Sacks improv but then he shouted out Sacks' identity and that was unforgivable. It was a real rookie mistake but according to McGee, he was experienced in undercover work. Sacks found he was having a lot of trouble believing that right now.

Thymes' head of security instructed his men to restrain the two agents with zip ties, while he kept a gun on them. He quickly assessed the two men and decided that McGee was the weak link and instructed his men to soften him up for interrogation. They efficiently delivered several sharp hard blows to his gut and a couple more to his jaw.

Sacks was worried that McGee was going to give the game away and reveal they were federal agents. He looked shocked to be on the receiving end of a beating and had turned a verdant shade of green. Damn it, it seemed the guy had a delicate gut, not to mention a glass jaw. He knew it was a mistake to take an unknown quantity into the Op at the last minute but Fornell had really wanted to get hold of anything on Thymes' computer. Now they had nothing and the security staff would no doubt find the surveillance gear too, now that they had suspicions.

_C'mon Tobias, now would be a really good time to send in the drug squad, _Sacks silently begged his boss. He really hoped that their mics were working and picking up that they were in trouble. Just to be sure, he decided to use their emergency phrase.

"Let him go guys. No fair no foul. We just wanted someplace private to err... talk."

The head guy leaned over and hit the FBI agent over the head with his gun just as he heard a loud series of loud bangs on the door accompanied by the shouts of "Police, open up. We have a warrant to search these premise for drugs." Accompanying all the yelling was the frenetic high pitched puppy-like yipps of the police canine drug detection dogs raring to get down to it, as they entered the premises.

Sacks despite a killer headache, heaved a sigh of relief that help had arrived in the nick of time.

Next chapter: Some literary contributions and an education.


	24. Chapter 24

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not mine, not profiting.

A/N First off, thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter. It's so much fun to read your thoughts and many of you crack me up. I have limited internet access at the moment so I couldn't respond individually to you all but I really appreciate every review so much. Huge thanks to BuckeyeGirl00000 for being a great Beta and for her helpful suggestions that improved this chapter. She is also awesomely speedy.

FYI in this chapter, McGee probably acts rather erratically but his behaviour during season six was fairly arrogant, especially in Bounce which takes place in the timeline of this story, sometime after this chapter occurs. So will he might gain some insight, he still has a long road to travel. Hope you enjoy :)

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 24

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs glanced around his little fiefdom with a sense of satisfaction. Ziva David was hard at work trying to find some new leads on one of the cold cases he'd assigned to her. There were no new cases pending, so the whole team was back on cold cases today. Special Agent Daniel Chan, Fornell's probie, was sitting at McGee's desk and he was also perusing the cold case file that belonged to the Elf-Lord. The Eurasian agent was a little tense around them but seemed eager to learn from the opportunity, which was quite endearing.

Gibbs knew that Tobias didn't suffer fools gladly, so he was confident that Chan was up to the job. He also seemed like a personable young guy and Gibbs was relieved that he didn't have to tolerate an upstart arrogant Fibbie like Sacks, for the week long exchange. Fornell often worked cases with his team and he was honest enough to admit, it was because everyone else at the FBI flatly refused to work with him. So even apart from his ulterior motives, it did actually make sense to get to know each other's team a little better.

Not enough to swap Ron Sacks with DiNozzo of course, because while he might be a capable agent, Gibbs couldn't forget how gung-ho he'd been to arrest Tony for murder on two separate occasions. Even more important, he didn't want the FBI getting their grubby mitts on DiNozzo for even a week. A part of Gibbs was convinced that if he spent some time there being wooed, he might decide that the grass was greener and opt to stay. He glanced across at the desk opposite his and experienced a sense of relief to see his senior field agent back safely ensconced behind it, where he belonged.

Although he conceded, the talented former cop was only truly in his natural element when he was out in the field but while he was recovering from his GSW he was restricted to desk duty. Gibbs knew this situation was akin to using a martingale bridle on a high spirited thoroughbred, so they couldn't have their head. He knew just how much being restricted to desk duty chaffed Tony's irrepressible free spirit but it simply couldn't be helped.

Fortunately, it seemed that the novelty of having a new temporary team member was of some solace for him being benched. DiNozzo thrived on challenges, new experiences and people to acquaint himself with and he was the perfect individual to have around to smooth any social awkwardness that might occur with having Chan join them, even temporarily. He was the ideal person to show a newcomer around the office and introduce him. Hell, Gibbs still didn't know everyone that worked at the office while Tony was on a first name basis with everyone. And judging by the subtle air of hero worship with which Chan was regarding his senior agent, he was clearly looking forward to working with him.

Tony had immediately nicknamed Daniel Chan, Jackie for reasons that escaped Gibbs but which the FBI agent seemed to be amused by. The pair appeared to be engaged in a discussion about some movie, which was not a big surprise but it seemed that Chan was a willing participant while Ziva sat silently, an irritated expression on her face. For Gibbs, who was often not very patient when Tony went off into his film appreciation mode, absence had definitely made the heart grow fonder and hearing the familiar prattle filled him with happiness, even if he would never admit it.

Even while he appeared to be hard at work, Gibbs listened with contentment to the gentle banter between Chan and DiNozzo as they swapped scenarios and theories about their respective cold cases. He'd missed this when Tony had been off injured yet, in his contemplative mood, it struck him that there was something different about the banter. It was reminiscent of the banter that he and Fornell engaged in when they were alone, but it was also familiar and he strived to recall what was different. Finally it struck him that it was because it was witty, affectionate and without the barbs or sarcasm that had become the norm, whenever the team communicated with each other.

Until now, he hadn't realised just how insulting many of the comments from the two junior agent had become and how completely inappropriate they were in speaking that way to a superior. He would never allow McGee and Ziva to address him that way, so why did DiNozzo permit it? Although even as he thought it, he knew that it was because he often aided and abetted the two juniors in ganging up on DiNozzo, so of course he would feel powerless to stop the nastiness and yes, the disrespect.

Damn Ducky for being so right! It wasn't until he heard Chan and DiNozzo's gentle banter, so reminiscent of how it used to be when Cate had been on the team, to be able to then compare it to the status quo. Only then, he was able to see how nasty the team dynamic had become and how damaging for his senior field agent. While DiNozzo was back where he belonged as Gibbs right hand and the heart of the team, he knew that it was still far from a done deal.

He knew only too well that DiNozzo's return to the MCRT and loyalty to him and the team was still extremely tenuous. Knowing that, he may have inadvertently manipulated Tony into agreeing to give him and the team one more chance to redeem themselves. Tony had agreed to come back for a six month trial to see if the complex issues that had been years in the making, could be resolved. One thing Tony definitely wasn't; was a Pollyanna type unlike their favourite forensic scientist. DiNozzo knew damned well that Gibbs, as much as he might want to, couldn't simple tear everyone a new one and fix everything immediately. So he was prepared to give him a reasonable amount of time to begin to make amends, thank goodness.

But if Gibbs was really honest, he knew it wasn't because he had managed to regain his senior field agent's trust with his disastrous apology. It was because Tony was loyalty personified and despite no longer believing in his boss, he had serious reservations about his mental stability. After the fiasco when he tried to apologise to Tony, to stop him leaving and his meltdown after DiNozzo's surgical strike on his own defences, his senior field agent had begun to treat him like an emotional time bomb.

He found his second constantly watching him with a strange expression, as he analysed his every word and action. And as much as it sent his blood pressure into orbit, to be constantly treated with kid gloves, he also knew that DiNozzo had decided to essentially suck it up and take one for the team, because he was not sure of Gibbs fitness to lead the team. So while on the one hand Gibbs wanted to convince him he was mentally stable, he was also highly aware that it was also what had helped tie him to the team. Unfair tactics but at this juncture, he would do whatever it took to fix what ailed the team and retain his senior field agent. Knowing how close to losing him he'd been over the years, made him realise how much it would hurt.

HRHRHRHR

Gibbs entered the Director's office, wondering why he was being summoned when there were no outstanding cases or problems that he was aware of. Seeing Vance bite down furiously on a toothpick that didn't stand a chance, before being relegated broken to the trash and noting the thinning of his lips, Gibbs could tell that Leon was not a happy camper. It was one of the reasons why he was glad he was still a field agent; he really couldn't handle having to deal with all the shit that went along with the top job. Whatever the problem, he had a feeling that it was about to ruin his day too.

"I've just got off the phone with the Director of the FBI and he is after our blood. McGee screwed up an undercover Op last night that has been part of a high profile ongoing investigation into an extortion racket. They believe that it threatens national security."

Gibbs didn't know what he was expecting to hear but it was definitely not that. What the hell had he done and why was he on an FBI undercover Op anyway? What the hell was Tobias thinking? He glanced across at Vance and asked the obvious questions.

"Why was he undercover and is he okay?"

"Apart from being beat up a bit, he's fine I believe. And my understanding is he volunteered, well begged to go undercover, grossly exaggerating his experience in undercover missions along the way. I think as his supervisor, you needed to be clearer about where his limitations and talents lay, Jethro. I've read his Quarterly Evals from yourself and DiNozzo and it seems clear that he isn't suited for undercover missions. I don't want a repeat of this fiasco, Gibbs. This is a severe embarrassment for NCIS, not to mention me personally and that makes me very unhappy. This debacle is going to cost us dearly." Vance took a deep breath, before delivering the news that was would undoubted have Gibbs out for his blood.

"I had to agree that we'd help clean up the mess he caused, which means that the FBI Director demanded that we lend them our best undercover operative."

Gibbs really did not like the direction this conversation was heading. "No Leon you can't have my agent. Absolutely not! I won't allow it. DiNozzo is not being seconded to the FBI, no way no how."

Vance snapped his new toothpick. "Special Agent Gibbs, DiNozzo is my agent; I am the Director of this agency, not you. I have already agreed. I had no choice and nor do you. Believe me it galls me no end that a juvenile jock like DiNozzo is so sought after for undercover work while a fine, sober young agent like McGee with so much potential is going to have this black mark on his record. But the FBI wasn't going to desist until they got DiNozzo."

"DiNozzo's still on desk duty, Director. He's not fit for working undercover and I won't let him go."

"I'm told it might take a while to set up a new scenario; he may not go in for a while, so suck it up Gibbs. You may act like it's all up to you, but it says Director Vance on the office door. I call the shots, not you and you need to remember that DiNozzo's ass is mine!"

HRHRHRHR

Special Agent Timothy McGee glanced around the table at Special Agents Sacks, Fornell and the Assistant Director of the FBI Roscoe Gale, who were all sitting in on the debrief of the mission. He snorted inwardly. _Debrief my ass. They're looking for a scapegoat because the mission went south last night and of course it was convenient to blame an outsider. Yes he'd blurted out Sacks identity in front of Thymes' security staff and it could have gotten messy but_ _he was the one that had been attacked not smug Slacks. And how the hell was he supposed to know that he was going to get his face mauled by Sacks? _

_Anyone would have been shocked but he wasn't going to take the fall f_o_r something that wasn't his fault. He wasn't about to apologise because as Gibbs was fond of ramming down his throat, it was a sign of weakness and he wasn't about to let this unfortunate incident derail his plans to move up the ladder at NCIS. Another thing that Gibbs had taught him was that it was better to go on the attack, rather than stand around waiting to defend himself. He had no support at the FBI so he needed to be his own best advocate._

"Excuse me Assistant Director, but I'd like it on the record that I was caught by surprise when Special Agent Sacks accosted me. As someone who is one hundred percent heterosexual, I was not expecting to be groped by a fellow agent and I just panicked."

McGee could feel the hackles rise on the three Fibbies although Sacks seemed to be rather amused by something. He could feel the electricity in the air as the Assistant Director leaned slightly forward in his chair.

"Well I can see why that would be a surprise, Special Agent McGee. Just so I understand completely, you told Special Agent Fornell that you had experience working undercover. Is that correct?" He waited until the NCIS agent nodded affirmative, before proceeding. "I also understand that Agent Fornell issued a directive that in his absence, Agent Sacks was in charge. Further to that, I believe that prior to you and Sacks going under cover, he ordered you to follow his lead if anything went wrong. Is that correct Special Agent McGee? It would seem that you have problems following orders."

"Absolutely not Sir, I just didn't sign up for being felt-up by another male agent."

The Assistant Director nodded, his expression guarded. "I see. Do you have any questions Fornell?"

"McGee, would you have had the same reaction to what had happened, if it had been Special Agent Jameson that had 'mauled' you?"

"No Sir."

"Are you homophobic McGee?"

"Absolutely not Fornell, I'm not a bigot. I've a cousin that is gay and I love him just as much as my straight ones. I just don't get off on kissing men."

"So Ron, did you discuss the possibility that you and Special Agent McGee might need to kiss if you were caught in a compromising situation?

"No Special Agent Fornell, I didn't." Sacks stated flatly.

"And why would that be, Sacks?"

"Well I assumed that if he was an experienced undercover operative, he would have known that it would be the most obvious and effective way to throw them off the scent that we were there for more covert purposes. It is kinda basic undercover improv 101, Sir. My bad, I guess."

McGee seethed, seeing both Fornell and Director Gale trying desperately hard not to laugh at the seemingly contrite statement and Sacks downcast expression. Fornell cleared his throat, choking down a chuckle as he responded.

"I see. Well, Special Agent McGee, with the benefit of your experience as an undercover operative at NCIS, if you had been in charge of the situation, how would you have responded to being discovered by Ms Thymes security people, without revealing your identities or the intent of your presence in her private study without invitation?"

McGee felt like a deer caught in the headlights as the Assistant Director, Fornell and Sacks all drilled him with their intense stares. He started feeling like he had made a tactical error going in so hard on the attack. Perhaps he should have defended and acted more contrite but he was committed now, He had a feeling he was in over his head but he couldn't see where else he could go.

"Um... I would have tried talking to them maybe."

"Assistant Director Gale smiled, although it didn't reach his eyes, which were hard and glittery. "Well thank-you for the suggestion Special Agent. I'm certain Ron will be sure to remember that next time, won't you Special Agent Sacks?"

Gale picked up a file and flicked through it slowly, before placing it back down on the table and McGee swallowed hard when he saw what it was. It was a personnel file and he knew he was in deep doggy-doo-doo as the name on the front proclaimed the file to belong to Timothy McGee. It looked like his little white lies about his experience working undercover were about to leap up and bite him on the ass.

HRHRHRHR

Gibbs stormed out of Vance's office feeling pissed off. Of course, being angry was pretty much the status quo with him, especially after any extended sojourn in the director's office. This latest episode though, just made him want to haul off and punch someone, preferably a lot. How could McGee be so damned stupid?

Gibbs was trying his damndest, to keep DiNozzo on the team and away from thieving weasels like Darryl Amos and Tobias and now McGee and Vance was serving him up on a platter. McGee was lucky he wasn't due back until next week because he'd kill him without compunction. As it was, he was going to organise a very special hand-to-hand combat session with him on the mats, when he returned.

Clearly he'd been wrong in not explaining to McGee why he was never chosen for the undercover assignments that DiNozzo excelled at. He might be a computer genius, able to perform feats of magic with his damned giggle-butt thingies but he lacked the mental limberness to be able to size up individuals and situations instantaneously, then adapt and act upon the data in a heartbeat. Apart of course, from the fact that the guy couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag and was a terrible liar. While his training was such, that he was a valuable member of the team working in peripheral support roles that didn't require him to have to improvise or withstand interrogations, he simply didn't have the right temperament to cope with complex and dangerous undercover situations.

Clearly McGee's surprisingly shallow fairy floss, literary side was besotted by the excitement and lure of working undercover. But he'd grossly underestimated the complexity required to be a successful undercover operative. He apparently thought that if DiNozzo could do it well, then it had to be a piece of cake and he could too. Of course Tony always made working undercover, seems so easy, which was testament to his skill and self-deprecatory nature. But it was also his intensely private nature that never revealed the personal cost he paid for all of his undercover operations, since he always prepared and decompressed alone. McGee never got to see the dark underbelly that came with going undercover and seemed to think it was like one of DiNozzo's damned movies.

Then, if he was being fair, he had to admit that he too was partly to blame for McGee's cavalier attitude to DiNozzo's special skills in undercover work. While Tony might downplay his skills to the rest of the team, Gibbs should have educated the junior officers to the complex skill that DiNozzo was such a specialist in and given it equal weight as Tim's techno skills or Ziva's Mossad training. While it pained him to admit it, Ducky had nailed it when he called Gibbs on his management technique of forcing the team to constantly complete for his approval. Competition had overridden individuality instead of focusing on the true strengths of teamwork. Diversity and cooperation rather than trying to walk over the top of colleagues to get ahead was what in the long term made for a happy and productive team. Given the fiercely ambitious nature of the two junior team members and DiNozzo's lack of professional ambition, competition had been a damaging method of operating.

Watching them all fall over themselves to be the one to find the lead that he needed on a case, gave him such a feeling of omnipotence which was seductively addictive, and he had failed to see the consequences. Apart from creating chain of command issues and making DiNozzo question his role on the team, McGee had transformed from a green agent lacking in confidence into someone smug and arrogant, who had ended up putting his own desires for professional advancement before the integrity of the mission.

They were going to have a seriously painful talk when he came back. Painful, because Gibbs hated talking and he would make McGee pay dearly for boxing him into a corner where he had to string multiple words together into cogent sentences. Painful, because he was going to tell his junior agent some facts about his skills that he definitely wouldn't want to hear. Definitely painful, because he was going to rip him a very large new one, for lying to Fornell about his experience undercover. Excruciatingly painful, because he was going to have their little 'chat' after he had beaten the crap out of him on the mats with a punishing hand to hand combat session, for forcing Tony to clean up his mess.

HRHRHRH

Tim barely managed to make it back to his desk before collapsing into his chair. He was screwed...he was so screwed. He'd lied to Fornell and the Assistant Director of the FBI and they'd known all along that he was lying. They'd doled out the rope and watched him go right ahead and hang himself with it. He'd probably end up with a permanent reprimand on his record unless Director Vance could be persuaded to overlook the incident. It would seriously impact on his chances to advance as quickly as he planned.

How the hell could he have been so dumb anyway? It wasn't his fault that Tony hogged all the plumb assignments. If he'd had more opportunities to work undercover, this would never have happened but DiNozzo was such an attention slut and would do anything to make sure he was the one in the limelight. If he'd played nicer and shared more, this would never have come about. How the devil was he supposed to last to the end of the week?

Final day of McGee's week at the FBI:

Damned FBI, no wonder Gibbs and Tony hated them so much. When he'd returned from the tea room to make a cup of coffee, he'd found that someone had left a 'present' for him, wrapped up and sitting innocently on his desk. McGee had been a bit cynical about it, given the hazing that he'd endure during the past week. Not to mention the constant references to him as Special Agent McGregor, which made him want to scream or haul off and hit someone. It seemed that everyone including the administrative and janitorial staff, were incapable of remembering his real name. Worse still, was that after the debacle at Stella Thymes' party, wherever he went, people made kissing sounds behind his back or conversations always seemed to end up being about make-out sessions and kissing techniques.

Okay, so Tony was always teasing him and calling him dumb-assed names but he would never have stood by and let everyone else do that to him. Sacks didn't do anything, apart from calling him McGregor that was, in a tone that left no doubt about his disdain for the NCIS agent. Although he also saw what was happening he just turned a blind eye to all the hazing, apart from smirking.

Even though a part of him was pissed at DiNozzo for getting him into this mess, he also knew that Tony wouldn't have condoned the treatment he was receiving either. While DiNozzo delighted in teasing him unmercifully, it had never really been malicious or cruel like what he'd copped this week. McGee had just never realised the difference before now.

At the start of the week, he'd had such high hopes that this week would be a real boost to his career. Yet somehow it turned out to be a complete nightmare. The anonymous present left on his desk had really been the final straw to a truly crappy week. Some stupid joker had taken it upon themselves to write a special chapter for the next Deep Six sequel, where Agent McGregor spends a week at the FBI and screws up an important undercover mission and needs Special Agent Tommy to come to his rescue and fix it. _Yeah like that would really happen._

As soon as he got home, McGee put the stupid chapter straight through his electric paper shredder. Even once it was obliterated and turned into kitty litter, he continued to fume about the malicious parting gift. If he was being honest for a moment, it was maybe because it would have made a great chapter if it hadn't been about him or if it wasn't so well written, in terms of style that it could easily have been written by Thom E. Gemcity. That was pretty embarrassing damn it, as he was a published author after all! He really couldn't wait to get back to the Major Case Response Team on Monday, even with Tony back at work.

Next chapter: Insurance premiums, chiropractors and pick locks.


	25. Chapter 25

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Once more for the record... don't own NCIS and no money changed hands.

A/N Much gratitude extended to my Beta BuckeyeGirl00000 for helping me wrangling this and the next chapter into obedience. They was very unruly and needed a firm hand. :D Any remaining mistakes are mine. Also, a heads up that this chapter is a little shorter than my usual ones but I had to break the chapter, as it was just too huge. NB not sure if FF will delete the fake internet addresses below. If so... guess you will need to use your imaginations lol.

Finally, thank you to everyone that continues to review, alert and favourite this story. I have limited internet access currently and couldn't thank reviewers personally. I feel bad because I appreciate my faithful reviewers who keep reviewing every chapter. Hope no one feels like I'm taking you for granted. I figured though that you'd all prefer that I post new chapters. Know that I read everyone's thoughts and they do help keep me motivated. Oh, and a reminder to check out my new piece; Anthony's Angels Chapter 1 entitled Iguana Salsa. Would love to receive your feedback :)

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 25

**Monday 1st of December 2008**

**From: Tobias Fornell tobiasfornell at FBI. gov**

**Subject: Damn, damn and double damn**

**To: Leroy Jethro Gibbs ljgibbs at NCIS. gov**

**Date: 1st December 2008**

Jethro you bastard!

You could have warned me that David was such a bloody menace behind the wheel of a vehicle. I realise you're hardly the poster child for safe and sane driving but even you are not such a hazard that you'd terrorize unfortunate fellow drivers into creating a mass pile up in our own parking garage. And you better not be laughing!

At current count, her arrival this morning, claimed 5 terrified staff who were in such a frantic hurry to get out of the way of a mad Israeli driver, that they managed to rear end or sideswipe both moving and stationary vehicles. We now have hysterical staff screaming about their insurance premiums, suing David and making appointments at their chiropractors.

This, before she even set foot in the actual premises. FYI the Powers That Be are so not amused. :(( She's been banned from parking in the staff car park for the rest of her time here.

I've been asking myself why this hasn't happened already at NCIS? After much consideration, I've decided that it must be because everyone there was already habituated to your suicidal driving style and David's, though even worse, was just a question of degrees.

I'd better not regret this. You owe me a bottle of Jack!

Tobias

**From: Leroy Jethro Gibbs ljgibbs at NCIS. gov**

**Subject: Re Damn, damn double damn**

**To: Tobias Fornell tobiasfornell at FBI. gov**

**Date: 3rd December 2008**

Tobias

What the hell is wrong with the way I drive? And what the devil does :(( and FYI mean?

Jethro

**From: Tobias Fornell tobiasfornell at FBI. gov**

**Subject: Re Damn, damn and double damn**

**To: Leroy Jethro Gibbs ljgibbs at NCIS. gov**

**Date: 3th December 2008**

You ignorant Luddite, Jethro!

Ask your McTechno Geek or DiNutso. Heck, ask George the janitor who is as old as Methuselah.

And what's wrong with the way you drive? You're kidding, right? I could fill a book with all of your flaws behind the wheel of a car. I'll work on it in my spare time.

Tobias

HRHRHRHR

Officer Ziva David was currently Mossad's liaison to NCIS and now on a week-long exchange program with the FBI. She made her way towards the entrance to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, pondering the deplorable driving habits of Americans. It seemed that there was a statistically inordinate amount of staff here, who couldn't even manage to drive their cars around a car garage. She had never seen so many gender benders in her life. It was extremely stressful, driving amongst these people and trying to anticipate what they were going to do. Ziva reflected that it was fortunate she was such a skilled driver with advance training in defensive techniques.

But it irked her no end that deluded Americans, especially men seemed to criticise her driving abilities. They were all such shrinking lilacs. Tony and McGee always pretended to be terrified when she drove the work car or crime scene truck although Gibbs didn't seem to have a problem with the way she drove. She was still very peeved that when she'd tried to stop a suspect by rear ending them, Tony refused to tell everyone that it was him behind the wheel of the car. Thanks to him, her insurance premiums and her excess had gone right through the ceiling, all due to a couple of minor misunderstandings. It was completely unfair to penalise her for minor collisions which hadn't been her fault and she couldn't see why her partner wouldn't cover her six.

When she finally entered the FBI building, Ziva was surprised to see the good looking young Eurasian agent Daniel Chan from Fornell's team, already waiting for her at the security desk.

"Hello Daniel. It is good to see you again. How did you know I had arrived?"

"Hey Ziva, ditto and the whole building knew the minute you drove into the car park," he demurred, trying hard not to giggle.

He'd already noted her questionable driving skills last week and seen the shambles she caused in the car park when she entered. He'd been given a heads up by some of the agents he'd encountered at NCIS not to piss off the Israeli agent, as she was a former assassin and frequently threatened people with bodily harm if she was annoyed. It seemed that even calling her Ma'am was enough to draw her ire.

Ziva smirked at his utter amazement, when she proceeded to unload her deadly collection of guns and knives that had been concealed upon her person. Meanwhile the security guards' eyes nearly bugged out of their eye sockets at the arsenal. She totally got off on intimidating men, with her mind games. Most were pretty freaked out by the amount of weapons she managed to conceal upon herself and they frequently seemed more than a little turned on by it, too. After she had proceeded through the metal detector and received her temporary ID, Chan nervously escorted her upstairs to the squad room where the rest of the team were working. He was relieved he hadn't pissed her off with jokes about her driving, seeing she'd been armed to the teeth.

Ziva wondered briefly, what had prompted Gibbs to agree to the exchange of personnel with Fornell's team. It seemed that it just included the junior field agents and not Tony or Agent Sacks. That seemed a little odd but Tony was still on limited duties, as he recovered from being shot preventing an armed robbery. Gibbs said it was so that they could get to know the other members of Fornell's team but Ziva thought that was just an excuse. While she hated it when information was withheld from her and as a spy she was determined to ferret it out too, Ziva was more than happy to spend the next week temporarily assigned to Special Agent Fornell's team.

Although she already had some valuable contacts within the FBI, a successful Mossad operative could never have too many informants and contacts in their little red book. Working here would be a good opportunity to cultivate new ones and to reconnect with existing informants. Her father had taught her to never waste any opportunity to gain advantage over Israel's enemies and it had become second nature to her.

She had found that after almost three years working at NCIS, her instincts as a spy and assassin had begin to dim somewhat as she began to think more like an investigator. But that was before the MCRT had been split up by the new Director and she'd been packed off back to Israel, back into the world of counterintelligence. Since her return after four months away, all her old instincts had surged to the fore again. Even after Gibbs had orchestrated her return to Washington, she found she was very unsettled as the two sides of her professional life were in a constant battle for dominance. She noticed that she wasn't only one on the team struggling to find their rhythm as the team dynamic had shifted during their time apart.

She pushed aside her musings aside as she prepared to join her new temporary teammates, for the next five days.

HRHRHRHR

Fornell greeted the Mossad liaison officer and perfunctorily reintroduced her to Special Agent Ron Sacks before indicating that she should use Shauna Jameson's desk for the week. He handed over the FBI Procedural Handbook and told Ziva that he wanted her to study the procedures and rules for interviewing suspects, witnesses and the conducting of criminal investigations, along with a copy of Miranda Rights. When she looked confused and ready to question his directive, he sighed deeply.

"We are a Civilian Law Enforcement Agency, Officer David. As such, we are subject to different legal requirements from the Military Law under which NCIS operates. I need you to know the difference, so you won't jeopardise any cases that you might work on this week."

Fornell didn't add that he'd personally witnessed her blatant disregard for rules and regulations on occasion, because she didn't seem to feel that they applied to her or wanted to follow orders. He wanted it on record that she'd been fully briefed on what was acceptable behaviour because after the shambolic McMess last week, he was well and truly covering his butt this time.

"Let me know, when your done Officer David and I'll have you sign a release form confirming that I have briefed you on FBI procedures."

Ziva nodded and proceeded to read through the various documents supplied by the FBI agent. She seemed rather surprised by his insistence on following procedure and he figured that it wasn't exactly Gibbs strong suit. He had the feeling that DiNutso as a former cop was more likely to want things done by the rule book though, knowing how technicalities could easily get a case thrown out. When Ziva had finally finished reading and memorising the material he'd supplied, Tobias had her sign that she had read and understood the information he provided. Then he managed to catch her well and truly off guard.

"Thank-you Officer David, now I want you to hand over your weapons...including the ones you managed to sneak past security."

Ziva was stunned, but finally complied; handing over her NCIS standard issued Sig and her backup weapon and knife. Fornell continued to wait, regarding her with a steady piercing glare. He knew exactly how many weapons she had declared down in the Foyer, at the security desk. Finally with an angry snarl, Ziva continued to unload her arsenal, one by one.

Fornell smiled glacially, before ordering her to also hand over her set of pick locks he knew she habitually carried. He decided if looks could kill, he would definitely be requiring the services of their M.E. by now.

"Thanks Officer David. Now I just need you to surrender your ceramic knifes and gun that our special scanners picked up, even though you failed to declared them, and we're done," he commanded, resolving mentally to confiscate all the paperclips in the office.

Ziva was practically vibrating with fury as she slapped down two more knives and a tiny gun onto Fornell's desk. He smiled and nodded before handing over her sig, back-up gun and one knife, as he remembered Gibbs' unbreakable Rule 9. The remainder of the arsenal and the pick locks, he locked away in his desk.

"Sorry David, but the pick-locks are illegal and the rest of your weapons are overkill and could compromise our cases in court. So I'm going to hold onto them until Friday and give them to you when you go home. Now I'll get Dan to show you where everything is and take you up to Human Resources to sign your temporary paperwork, before we get to work."

He shot a glance over at his probie, who looked like he was about to eat his gun at the thought of being with an obviously angry Israeli assassin and he smiled.

"Dan, take David and give her the grand tour before stopping at HR. Don't worry, it's me that Officer David would like to terminate right now. I'm sure that she will treat you with the professional courtesy you deserve, won't you Officer David?" Fornell grinned wondering if he should check his car for booby-traps tonight

HRHRHRHR

Friday 5th December 2oo8, 1030 hours

Gibbs slowly climbed the stairs to the mezzanine level above the bull pen, on his way to the Directors Office. He quickly reviewed the details of the last few days with his team, trying to figure out why Leon had called him in this time. They'd already tied up the case they'd been working on since Tuesday and simply been getting the paperwork ship-shape. He wondered if Tony had done anything to draw the ire of Vance but he seemed to be keeping his head down.

Gibbs' only concern with him was that there was an obvious spark between him and the petite Special Agent Shauna Jameson, who had a passing resemblance to Paula Cassidy. The team had gone out for drinks last night to celebrate the successful resolution of the murder case of a Naval Captain's wife and the pair had spent the whole time, joking and dancing.

The chemistry between his senior field agent and Tobias's computer geek made his gut roil because if they were to start something serious, it would be yet another reason for him to jump ship and take up the FBI's standing job offer. He wondered cynically if Tobias had put her up to it. He wouldn't put it past him, he was a sneaky bastard. The problem was he couldn't sabotage any relationship that might develop between them with Rule 12 because they worked for separate agencies.

At least DiNozzo was finally fit to return to field work again, once he requalified with his gun and been signed off with the agency shrink. Both hurdles he expected DiNozzo to pass with flying colours. Although Gibbs was pretty sure that he still blamed himself for not taking down both of the dirtbags to his own impossibly high standards, DiNozzo ate tame shrinks for breakfast and he knew exactly what to say and how to act.

Gibbs sighed and wondered if Leon's summons had anything to Ziva's driving misfortune earlier in the week? He couldn't believe his two junior agents could get into so much trouble in the last couple of weeks at the FBI. If he wasn't already, their screw-ups would have turned him grey-haired, literally overnight. He'd noticed that Leon was also going through a hell of a lot of toothpicks in the last couple of weeks. Gibbs wished he owned shares in the toothpick factory; he'd make a killing.

Gibbs suspended his speculating as he entered Leon's outer office and breezed past Cynthia's desk without stopping. He flung open Vance's door and entered, as was his custom without waiting for permission. He noticed that the director didn't even pause to convey his irritation at Gibbs ill-mannered arrival and he frowned when he took in Vance's expression. His infamous gut churned, knowing that somehow this was about Ziva.

Next chapter: Rules and regs and is Jackie Chan in trouble?


	26. Chapter 26

Rating: T

Disclaimer: No... for the twenty sixth time this story...they aren't boy if they were ...

A/N Credit where credit's due; BuckeyeGirl00000 had a huge hand in whooping this chapter into shape with her editing suggestions but per normal any mistakes are mine. Thank you to everyone for their reviews, alerts & faves :) And for people wanting some one-on-one time with a Very Speial Agent, fear not, he will be featured in the following chapters lol

Warning: Alright, I have to issue this stern warning to anyone that loves Ziva. You really do need to skip this chapter because it contains some unflattering observations of mine about the character. They are based on her behaviour over the last seven years; e.g. leaving only one team mate out of a team dinner, knocking down her injured partner and then threatening him numerous times with a loaded gun held against his body, deceiving Gibbs over her orders re killing her half-brother Ari, turning off a microphone worn by her partner during a potentially dangerous operation, leaving him with no one to watch his six, her haranguing Tony after the fallout with Jeanne which was pathetically supposed to be emotional support, her lame apology and I do use the word advisedly, after being rescued in Somalia, (no mention of pulling a gun on him) various hurtful comments about why would any woman want Tony, basically telling Tony his raison d'être was to play the clown for the team, disobeying orders i.e. Domino... Well it a big list but hardly exhaustive. I will give a brief catch-up at the beginning of chapter 27 so, if you skip reading this chapter you'll still know what happered.

To everyone else...enjoy

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 26

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs regarded the NCIS Director, with consternation. His gut was warning him that he was not going to like what Vance was going to tell him.

"What's does Fornell say she's done now, Leon?" Jethro was shocked when the director just groaned. This was bad.

Finally Leon Vance glared at his underling.

"I've just gotten off the phone with Director Dixon. He informed me that a judge has thrown out their arrest of a suspected serial rapist murderer because Ziva failed to follow procedure. Apparently they were instructed to maintain surveillance outside the suspect's home by Special Agent Fornell and told if he came home, to prevent him entering the premise. They were waiting on a judge to sign off on a warrant to search his apartment for evidence.

When Officer David heard that the warrant was on its way, she wouldn't wait and proceeded to gain entry to the apartment using her pick-lock and began to search without proper authorisation. One of the neighbours saw her breaking in and called the cops. Dixon went completely postal and I had to placate him by promising that you and DiNozzo would review the evidence already collected and help work the case to see if you could come up with some fresh leads."

Gibbs swore, using his extensive although rarely used vocabulary of expletives acquired during his career in the Marines.

"I thought that Tobias had confiscated her pick-locks?" Confidentially, he admitted to being impressed by Fornell's ballsy move although he'd never tell him that.

"He did, but it seems she has a spare set. On the way to the stakeout, she retrieved them from her car. I know you play hard and fast with rules Gibbs, except when it comes to your own, but you're usually more discreet than this. At the very least, you wouldn't get caught. You do realise this has enormous ramifications for us too? If it becomes common knowledge amongst defence attorneys and JAG Corp, we could have a slew of appeals on any recent cases that Ziva was involved in."

The two men were silent, contemplating the potential fallout from Ziva's inability to follow orders. Vance decided he would have to have a lengthy discussion with his old crony Eli Vance, about Ziva's lapses since her return to NCIS. The failure to follow explicit orders not to engage the Marine guards during the Domino operation was another example of her rather erratic behaviour lately.

He sighed again. "Partly to sanction her, but also to well and truly cover our butts, I'm going to order that Ziva must successfully complete several FLETC courses on Federal Laws and Ethics in Law Enforcement before she is allowed to return to the team. Until such time, she is on suspension and you can have a TAD until she'd cleared to return to duty, if you want one."

The lead agent nodded, knowing if Ziva wasn't the daughter of Director Vance's friend, who also happened to be the head of Mossad, her ass would be toast and she'd be looking for a new job. Clearly Leon hadn't finished yet.

"I've arranged for DiNozzo to take his firearms requalification test and his mandatory Psych Eval immediately and I want you both to head over to the FBI building as soon as he is cleared for active duty. McGee and Jameson can finish tying up the case here. I need you two over there to help solve this case and make it disappear. I hope you didn't have plans for this weekend Jethro, because this is our top priority." Vance frowned, obviouly highly stressed.

"Brief DiNozzo immediately and send him off to the firing range. I've organised for the case file to be sent to you so you can get up to speed while you wait for him to get cleared for active duty. Good luck and try not to piss off the Fibbies any more than they already are."

HRHRHRHR

Ziva followed Fornell toward a conference room, aware that he was extremely angry. She really couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. The judge had signed off on the warrant, so what was the big deal anyway? So she'd saved them some time and no one had been hurt. No wonder Gibbs was so scornful of the Febbies; they wasted time on stupid regulations and wondered why dirtbags got away with crimes. In Israel they were not so concerned with looking after criminals but here she was the one who was going to get her donkey kicked.

She knew that Fornell had been up in the Director's office and looked as mad as Hades when he came out. He'd fired off a few emails and made several phone calls, then barked at her to follow him into a conference room. He obviously didn't have Gibbs' fondness for elevators and with the anger that was radiating off him at the moment, she was happy enough not to have to be in a small enclosed space with him either. As she followed him, she silently contemplated which 'Ziva' she should employ to deal with this particular situation.

Her Mossad training had taught her that she could use her '_Intimidating Ziva' _guise like she did with McGee and Daniel Chan, which worked well as long as it was subtle and not too overt. As her trainer had advised, when employing '_Intimidating Ziva' _think silk stockings over a steel garter belt and thong, where less was actually more. Too much intimidation and it was counterproductive because men were ultimately like little puppy dogs. They needed to know who was in charge but if you scared them too much and backed them into a corner, they would pee themselves and you too or become unpredictable and potentially dangerous.

Then there was the '_Seductress Ziva_' guise, the one who used her sexuality to control men, because the majority of males were slaves to their penises. Ziva had no compunction using sex or the promise of it, as a technique to manipulate and dominate her environment and had even used it on certain females, when necessary. The problem was in this instance, that she didn't want it to affect her relationship with Gibbs which she had been carefully cultivating over the years.

Sleeping with the man, who had in turn, slept with and married Gibbs second wife, was a recipe for disaster. While she didn't think that Gibbs was best buddies with Fornell, he did grudgingly respect the man and probably wouldn't appreciate her sleeping with him. Equally, she honestly didn't believe that Fornell would respond to intimidation either. He had a reputation of being almost as much of a bastard as Gibbs and would never fall for it.

No, the Ziva persona that was most likely to work with him, was the '_vulnerable, daddy-damaged little Ziva'_ guise, with the carefully timed arrival of tears, bravely held back but ultimately spilling forth, along with the tremulous voice, quivering bottom lip and the gulping back of sobs. Fornell, who was a father after all, was more likely to respond to her angst just as Gibbs did. Although, she realised that Gibbs, as a father who had lost his only child, was particularly vulnerable to her tears. She'd known when first preparing his psychological profile for her half brother Ari that Gibbs would be most likely to respond favourably to her, if she appealed to his nurturing side and she was correct.

Ziva also immediately decided, upon reading McGee's Psych Evals identifying him as passive aggressive, with significant self esteem issues and having been bullied at school; that intimidation would work fine on him. Seduction on the other hand, would have had him leaping out of a moving car or throwing himself under a bus, to escape. With Tony, based on his playboy, jock personality, she had been so sure that the '_Sultry Seductive Ziva_' guise would have him eating out of her hand, in no time flat.

Except, that while he played at flirting with her and acted like the idea of sleeping with her was his goal, it was just that, an act! When they'd posed as married assassins, early on in her first days on the team, he had very expertly simulated sexual intercourse with her. Even when she had informed him that Mossad operatives engaged in real sex on the job without compunction or embarrassment and let him know she wasn't adverse to going all the way, he hadn't taken up her offer.

At first she'd thought that he was inhibited by the knowledge that the room was under visual and auditory surveillance. That was before he'd inadvertently flashed his package at the Director, Gibbs and all the MTAC technicians and seemed quite unabashed about it, so she ruled out that theory. Ziva decided it was because Tony didn't ever want to disappoint Gibbs and his Rule 12 loomed large over the team, which stopped him from acting on his attraction to her. Until Gibbs heading to Mexico had disavowed her of that notion, too. Ziva had finally decided at that point, that despite the playboy reputation, it was all a sham and Tony was gay. When it became painfully obvious that his new lover was that French bimbo, she had felt utterly confused, humiliated and frankly murderous.

The problem was trying to intimidate Tony didn't work either. Oh, he might pretend to be scared of her but even his playful nickname for her...Ze-vah...indicated that he wasn't intimidated one bit. While many people thought he must be a typically submissive type to work for Gibbs as his second in command, she knew better. The reason he had survived for so long, was because he had an Alpha personality which she'd seen more than once or twice, even if he didn't display it very often. She could only think he was afraid of it.

So that just left her with her _'Little-Ziva-Lost'_ persona and she knew darned well that he would never fall for it either. He was too good at undercover work and acting a part, for him not to see through her and call her out on it. Tony was very intuitive and when someone was really hurting, he had a very protective streak but his bullshit meter was much more honed than Gibbs. It was definitely the case, when he needed to assess the intentions of young, supposedly vulnerable women, who may remind Gibbs of his dead daughter.

Subsequently she hadn't found a way to be able to control Tony and she decided he was a most exasperating man. It made her want him even more. And that made her despise him, for making her feel so powerless around him, which was such a foreign experience for her. It also made her feel like striking out at him, to make him suffer.

It was fortunate for Tony, that Ziva had never understood just how much her scorn and derision damaged him or she would have consciously used it to control him. Luckily he was very experienced in concealing pain of both the physical and emotion persuasion, so while he wore the scars, few people ever got the chance to see them.

HRHRHRHR

Tobias glared at Officer Ziva David before gesturing her to have a seat. He was going to have a good long talk with Special Agent Chan when he finished here. Dan was in for a torrid time because although he wasn't privy to Ziva's intention to break into the perp's apartment, nor was he aware that she had a spare set of pick-locks on her, he was still going to be subject to an IA investigation. Guilty by association wasn't exactly fair but he was still going to be asked some tough questions. Fornell vowed to do his best to ensure that Chan didn't become a scapegoat but even when cleared, mud stuck!

Even as he brooded, Fornell notice with detachment, that Ziva David began to squirm in her seat and lick her lips which was highly uncharacteristic. If he didn't know any better he would have sworn that she was nervous, scared or upset; which was absolutely laughable of course. After all, she had advanced training in interrogating suspects and was also trained to withstand interrogation and torture by the enemy.

As he proceeded to rip into her, he watched, as she hunched over, swallowing as if she was trying to hold back tears. He was impressed with her ability to act. When he delivered the coup de grace informing her, their perp's arrest had been thrown out because the judge ruled that the search warrant hadn't been properly executed, he finally saw some genuine emotion, briefly displayed. If he wasn't so sicken at the thought of that animal being back on the streets again he might have been cynically amused by it. He noted that it didn't seem to be remorse, so much as alarm before it was shunted away and 'Little-girl-lost" re-emerged again. He watched, as she forced several tears from her dark wet eyes and he observed clinically as they tracked down her cheeks before splashing onto the table as she added several sniffles to her act.

Even though a part of him was grimly amused that the Mossad agent thought she could play him so easily, Fornell had no intention of ever giving her that satisfaction. Time to show her he could be just as much of a bastard as Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He snorted derogatorily before applauding her slowly. Her head shot up as she tried to read him.

"Give me a little credit Officer David. Do you honestly expect me to fall for your crocodile tears? While I am most impressed with your ability to turn on the water works when you need it, don't expect me to believe that it is genuine distress or remorse. This ain't my first rodeo and you're not my first cowgirl, David. I'm not Gibbs either, who you can manipulate into wanting to be a surrogate daddy to you."

He watched as Ziva tried to hide her displeasure at being called on her act and he watched as she became coldly calculating. In the blink of an eye, she exuded a deadly aura that screamed warning _'Assassin- Super-Spy- Ziva.'_

"Officer David, I suggest that you abandon any thoughts of intimidating or threatening me. This isn't NCIS where your status as Eli David's daughter won you automatic entre, courtesy of two director's political ambitions and connections. Nor do I owe you any allegiance for favours done, as is obviously the case with your boss. I don't care if I piss you or Daddy Dearest off, Ziva. So can it already!"

"Director Dixon is extremely displeased at your actions and the extremely serious consequences.  
You let a murder go free. The Director has decided that you will report back to NCIS immediately. He has also informed Director Vance, who requests that you present yourself to him ASAP for disciplinary action. Furthermore, he has instructed me not to return either set of the illegal pick locks and I'm to pass over your confiscated weapons to Special Agent Gibbs, not yourself. Do you understand these orders Officer David?"

He waited while she assented her understanding, brittle with anger before he dismissed her. He was under no illusions that he and Director Dixon had joined Ziva David's shit-list but he was feeling strangely jazzed at putting the Israeli officer in her placed. She had waltzed her way into a plum assignment, joining NCIS's much esteemed MCRT without meeting any of the stringent requirements for employment in a federal agency, creating what he considered to be an unhealthy precedent. It was his humble opinion that Law Enforcement, the Justice System and issues of National Security should never be subject to the whims of political posturing and nepotism.

It was probably one of the rare times someone had put her in her place. It was his view that Ziva got away with far too much at NCIS, even the questionable death of a suspect, which would have had her off his team forthwith. Gibbs seemed to be twisted round her little finger and although he knew his friend had a very strong 'Daddy' gene, he wasn't convinced that was all it was. Something told him it also had much to do with her brother Ari's demise who DiNutso had labelled as Gibbs' aka Captain Ahab's own personal Great White Whale.

Next chapter: Our heroes to the rescue and self blame abounds.


	27. Chapter 27

Rating: T

Disclaimer: No they definitely don't belong to me.

Last Chapter précis: Director Vance informed Gibbs that Officer Ziva David, while on loan to Tobias Fornell's FBI team, against explicit orders, used a spare set of picklocks to gain unlawful entry into a suspect's premise prior to the presentation of a search warrant. As a consequence, the arrest of the suspect for alleged serial rape and murder, was then thrown out by a judge as the evidence used to arrest (trophies taken from the victims' home) were obtained illegally during the search. Ziva was duly disciplined by being suspended and sent to complete a variety of law enforcement courses at FLETC. There was concern that her actions might call into question, prior NCIS convictions if defence attorneys were to appeal on the basis of her illegal actions. Tobias ripped her a new one in no uncertain terms and she was extremely annoyed at his refusal to be manipulated. Finally, to placate his opposite number at the FBI, Leon agreed to second Special Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo to the investigation to see if they could help Fornell and his team to discover new evidence about their suspect. The goal was to rearrest the dirtbag and gain justice for the victims.

A/N Sorry for making you all wait so long between chapters. I have had dire computer issues and no access to the internet. Trust me, it hurt me more than it hurt you all lol. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted and faved the last chapter. I was shocked that many of you shared my analysis of Ziva's motives. Thanks for the reviews and PMs.

I had this chapter already beta read and good to go just before my computer crashed and I have decided to simply upload this chapter without further ado instead of taking the time to respond individually to all your reviews. The good news is that I already have the next chapter written since before my computer issues, as well so will be uploading it in the next day or so. During my enforced absence, I have been writing the last few chapters of this story including the last chapter and so it should be updated pretty frequently from here on in, touch wood :D As always, big thank you to BuckeyeGirl00000 for being such a great BR and her help with local geography. Any and all errors are of course my bad! And big thanks to AlexDN and BuckeyeGirl for all the frantic inquiries about me going UA.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 27

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was sitting in the passenger seat of the NCIS sedan beside his boss, one Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, as they hurtled across town from the Washington Naval Yard to the FBI headquarters. Despite the fact that Gibbs was driving at his usual breakneck speed and with his utterly cavalier attitude to observing the road rules, Tony was euphoric. He had once again slain the dragon, which was the NCIS resident psychologist and emerged victorious. His return to active field status was now secured and he was back in the hunt.

Of course, this time the hunt was terribly unfortunate. Unfortunate because the FBI already had their man but he had been released from custody due to a procedural error by one of their own team which nullified the evidence collected during the search. It had been a totally preventable situation and now he and Gibbs had been sent out to minimise the fallout from that error. Hopefully they would find new evidence, proving that the pond scum was indeed a serial rapist and cold blooded murderer. Even as they drove, he'd been scanning the file to get up to speed.

Tony couldn't believe that Ziva could be so careless, so incredibly stupid, as to mess up like that. He tried so damned hard over the years to convince Ziva to lose the set of pick locks she was wedded to, almost as much as her blasted knives. Of course, seeing that Gibbs overtly condoned her use of them by owning his own set of the illegal implements, made it difficult, if not impossible to convince her not to use them constantly. She refused to acknowledge the importance of observing the minutiae of rules and regulations which governed law enforcement and the rights of the accused. He got that things were very different in Israel but when in Rome...

And sadly, she wouldn't accept orders when he gave them to her, which basically made it his fault that this murderer was walking around free. If he had been a better person, a better senior field agent, then he would have been able to train the Mossad agent properly and avoid this mess. All he could do now was try to fix the disaster and get that sack of excrement off the streets, once and for all.

Tony laid down the file with a sigh, realising that they were nearing the FBI. He couldn't say he was ecstatic about seeing Fornell or Sacks again. The last time he'd had anything to do with them professionally; they'd been trying to arrest him for murder for the second time in the past few years. Still, it couldn't be helped, so he'd better just suck it up and realise that it really wasn't about him. They needed to focus on helping the rapist's victims and make sure there weren't any more.

Gibbs looked across at his senior field agent curiously. "What's got up McGee's butt today, anyway?"

"You mean besides the ass-whooping you delivered him the other day, Boss? Man, three hours on the mats for hand to hand combat training, then an hour long dressing down was really harsh Gibbs. He's still feeling the effects, can't sit down without a pillow. Remind me not to get on your bad side."

Tony grinned ruefully at his boss, wishing he'd been a fly on the wall for that particular conversation. It had left McGoo sulky all week long and nervous every time Gibbs had walked into the bull pen. For some reason, Timbo seemed to almost blame him, which didn't make a whole lot of sense.

"Yeah, DiNozzo apart from that, cuz he seemed to have his panties in a real bunch bout something today. Got any idea what?"

"O ye of little faith, Gibbs."

Tony then burst into a rousing vocal rendition of the first few lines of the chorus to the R&B song 'If You Don't Know Me by Now' recorded by the Philly soul group Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes more than a decade before Simply Red released it.

"It seems that someone sent our little Timmy's publisher and his literary agent, a fake chapter of his next Agent McGregor novel." DiNozzo's tone was faintly mocking.

"It was all about how Agent McGregor spent a week at the very important FBI and how he messed up a big undercover operation. McSulky was pretty upset, but I think the worst part was that the publisher and his agent both loved it so much, they wanted to keep the unauthorised chapter and add it to his book. He had this massive knock down drag out argument with them over the phone and fired off a stack of emails. And before you ask...it wasn't me. I'm totally innocent."

The senior field agent adopted his most angelically, innocent butter-wouldn't-melt-in-his-mouth expression although his eyes gleamed with laughter. Gibbs rolled his eyes and sniggered. He had his own ideas about potential suspects.

HRHRHRHR

Special Agent Tobias Fornell was waiting for Gibbs and DiNozzo to arrive at the FBI Headquarters. He was still absolutely ropeable over his case going to hell in a hand basket. He'd also just finished formally interviewing his probie, Daniel Chan about the FUBAR episode that had let their serial murderer/rapist out of jail. He just hoped that Daniel could throw off this disaster and not have it affect his career. While he clearly hadn't known what Ziva intended to do, it still looked bad for the lad.

Guilt by association; not fair but it was a fact. What they desperately needed was a speedy resolution but he didn't see how that could happen. They'd worked for several months before finding the lead and identifying the unsub. Months building a case that allowed them to gain a warrant to search Callister's pad, which had turned up most of the trophies he'd stolen from his victims. All of which had gone up in smoke with one impulsive and undisciplined act.

While Officer David had many admirable skills for an assassin and spy, Fornell wasn't convinced that her inability to observe chain of command and follow rules and procedure could be overcome to make her an asset to a team, as opposed to the liability that he had observed. Perhaps if she was held accountable for her insubordination, she might become a team player but right now she was too wilful. Too determined to go her own way and it seemed that Gibbs was the only person whose orders she would unequivocally follow. That fact alone made her a highly questionable member of her team, any team, in his humble opinion.

Ziva seemed to feel that she was at the very least, the equal of, if not superior to those who had seniority over her. She was blatantly insubordinate in her attitude and actions. Tobias decided that the way she'd constantly tried to call shot gun when riding in the car whenever they were in the field, was symptomatic of her inability to acknowledge chain of command.

Also, her constant attempts to threaten her partner even if he happened to be her superior, to allow her to drive; bespoke of arrogance. Ron had been damned quick to educate her that the front seat was one of the perks of seniority and not something he had to compete with junior agents, in order to occupy. He also pointed out, that as her superior, it was his prerogative, never-ever-in-a-million-years was it her right to decide who would drive and when. Fornell had just grinned and left him to it, happy that Sacks took her down a peg or two.

Sure Tobias could've done it, would've done it, if Ron hadn't, but for DiNutso's sake he knew it was better coming from Fornell's second in command. It was beyond time, that she got used to taking orders from the second in charge for a change and he'd been determined to see that she did, too. He'd wondered, chuckling irreverently, how Special Agent 'Slacks' would react if he knew that he was helping out his oh so favourite NCIS agent?

Tobias considered the whole riding shotgun issue and the insistence on being in the driver's seat all the time, to be allegorical to what ailed Gibbs' team and the whole chain of command situation. After all, it wasn't as if Gibbs could argue that he had a democratic style of leading his team. He would never dream of giving up his right to the shot gun seat when in a car with his subordinates, nor would he permit Ziva to bully him into handing over the keys to the car. He was an autocrat right down to his bootstraps, so there was a definite double standard when it came to DiNutso as his 2IC.

Of all the people to be struggling with chain of command, Tobias still found it incredible that it should be Jethro. After all, as a career Marine he'd lived, slept and breathed the chain of command for so many years of his adult life. Then he'd subsequently chosen to work for a quasi-militaristic federal agency after leaving the corps. An agency, which relied very much upon the chain of command in its daily operations and in interaction with Naval and Marine personnel, too.

So it was more than a little surprising that the team he'd spent so long training, should now be struggling with COC. He'd ended up with a team that essentially had no concept for the COC, who owed their allegiance solely to Gibbs. When it came to his superiors, he and therefore his subordinates were often contemptuous. Jethro regularly flaunted their authority, even if he didn't cross the line into out and out insubordination.

Not that Tobias could exactly fault him for that, as he wasn't exactly a poster child for respecting superiors either. He believed that trust and respect were earned, ideally based on competency and frankly many of his superiors hadn't earned his. Still, he'd never served in the military and he investigated civilian crimes, yet his team understood how to follow orders, not just his but Sacks too. His two juniors were under no illusion that Ron was their superior and deserved professional respect and compliance, even if they didn't particularly like him, which was beside the point. If Tobias was being honest, Ron had earned a lot of respect but not so many friends.

Diane, their mutual ex-wife had always reckoned that Jethro got off on being in control. Fornell couldn't help but wonder if he was threatened by DiNutso and subconsciously, sabotaged any attempts by Tony to exert his authority. Jethro did possess one hell of a lot of emotional baggage after all, and while most people thought of DiNutso as Gibbs' submissive little lap dog, Tobias knew better. He was a stubborn SOB when he felt it warranted, and could turn into a genuine hard assed bastard, when necessary. For some unfathomable reason that Tobias couldn't figure though, he seemed to be always searching for validation from Gibbs that was never forthcoming.

Fornell hoped that when Tony finally figured out that it wasn't something Gibbs was able to give him; he'd eventually come to his senses and accept his offer to join the FBI. In the meanwhile he'd have him on the team for the Stella Thymes' operation, even if it was temporary. Sacks would be pissed though; he'd already bitten Chan's head off when he came back from NCIS, singing the praises of DiNutso's skills in solving cold cases.

He pushed all such musing into the background as a phone call from the security desk informed him that Gibbs and his senior field agent had arrived and were on their way up. He felt relief, knowing that the two extremely talented investigators were now on the case. They were the best in the biz when all was said and done.

HRHRHRHR

Gibbs and DiNozzo made their way across the squad room to Fornell's work space, their body language awkward as they recalled the reason why they were there. Both men were feeling responsible in their own way, for the unmitigated mess. Luckily, Tobias seemed to be keen to attaining a solution rather than attributing blame, right now. To that end, he wanted both agents focused, not feeling uncomfortable.

Clearly intent on breaking the ice before they began, he asked, "Jameson and McGee gonna be okay working alone?"

Gibbs smirked, "Don't worry Fornell; I left them with plenty of paperwork to do." His eyes took on a mischievous gleam. "So Tobias, read any good books lately?"

Fornell snorted. "You're kidding, right? I spend most of my spare time doing paper work although when this case is finished, I'd like to relax with a good book. Can you recommend anything good to read, Jethro?"

"Well I had heard that Thom E. Gemcity's next sequel was going to be out in the next few months, although there seems to be a small snafu. My sources tell me, someone sent his agent and publisher a fake chapter of his book. Seems that they loved it so much, they want him to include it in his sequel and he is having creative differences with them. I'm told that this may push the release date of his book back."

"That's very unfortunate, Jethro. My commiserations, to Mr Gemcity."

Gibbs glanced slyly at his friend who stared back, poker faced. "Perhaps the FBI should investigate, Tobias?"

I'm afraid that the matter of someone sending a fake chapter of a prospective novel to a publisher is not in and of itself, a crime as I'm sure you're well aware. That being the case, my advice to Mr Gemcity would be, if he wants to pursue the matter, that he should engage the services of a private dick. He can afford it after all."

Jethro smiled cynically. There was a certain irony to the predicament that Thom E. Gemcity found himself in. It really did seem like karma and McGee had alternated between woebegone and pissy all day. It was hard not to be amused.

Fornell grinned back, rather predatorily. "On another topic, I hope Special Agent Jameson has been behaving herself this week? My sources tell me that she was enjoying herself quite a lot last night. She really does love to dance."

Gibbs regarded his friend closely before nodding to himself. It was confirmation of sorts if not absolute proof but his gut was telling him he was right. Before he could pursue things further, he saw Sacks and Fornell's Probie making their way over.

He watched as DiNozzo and Sacks stared at each other, amused to see his senior field agent's mask of professional politeness slip over his face. You had to know him well, but it was the mask he reserved for people he was particularly contemptuous of, but also needed to retain a degree of professionalism around. DiNozzo loathed Ron Slacks er Sacks but he would put his feelings aside for the case. He did seem genuinely happy to see the young Probie and it appeared the feeling was mutual, even if the newbie FBI agent looked like he'd lost his best friend.

Tobias led them to a reserved conference room, already set up with laptops and multimedia setup. "Have a seat gentleman. This is where we'll work the case from. So get comfortable and we'll get up to speed on where we are at the moment. Then we'll open the floor to discussion, observations and suggestions about how to proceed."

Tony grinned widely. "Cool Fornell, a campfire!"

Ron Sacks glowered at Tony, not able to hide his distaste for the NCIS agent and Tony, who was nothing if not perceptive, grinned even wider than before if it was possible.

Fornell, despite the seriousness of the situation couldn't help being amused at the reaction of their respective 2IC's. There was no love lost between the pair.

"Yeah DiNutso, I know a good idea when I see one, even if it was one of yours," he taunted. "So let's get started, shall we?"

Gibbs scowled. He hated DiNozzo's damned stupid campfires with a passion, and he wasn't the only one. McGee and Ziva were equally scathing about them, although Ducky and Abby loved them. Then again, both of them liked to yammer and yabba pretty well as much as DiNozzo did, so what could you expect? To Gibbs, it always spoke of desperation and weakness to throw a briefing open to suggestions. He didn't expect his old friend to be supportive of this touchy-feely new age crap though. He'd thought Tobias was smarter than that!

Tobias nodded to his 2IC to begin.

Sacks clicked on a photo of a surprisingly good looking blonde-haired perp who despite it being a mug shot, still managed to look attractive. Gibbs knew that when it came to a trial, his physical attributes would be used to play up to the jury's biases and stereotypes that rapists were individuals who weren't able to get sex without coercion and force.

"The perp aka Cory Callister, aged 32 years of age. Self employed as a website designer living in a fairly upmarket apartment in Adams Morgan. He is the chief suspect in the rape of nine women, seven who were also murdered. The victims were manually strangled in their own apartments and the first two survivors were also strangled with the same MO, but were left unconscious. We surmise that he meant to kill them but he was still inept, the first few times. All of the victims had pieces of jewellery missing, most of which we recovered from Callister's apartment."

Gibbs and Tony exchange angry glances and Gibbs growled, causing Daniel to jump almost out of his chair. Fornell, ignored them and asked Chan to provide info on the victims.

Apparently they were all between twenty and thirty years of age, blonde hair and small statured. All had nine-to-five jobs and were predominately white collar professionals. All were single although some had long term relationships and with the exception of one victim who lived in Maryland, all the victims lived in North West DC. One victim resided in Adams Morgan, not too far from Callister's place. One of the survivors was a Ms Jericho Coates, who was the niece of a Congressman."

Jethro nodded to himself; that explained why the FBI was so desperate to solve the case and why Directors Vance and Dixon had gone nuclear over the search. Political pressure brought to bear on the FBI Director from Capitol Hill. Gibbs caught the tail end of Chan's sentence

"... Even though, as far as Metro PD knew back then, he stuck to DC when they checked with VICAP and found the case in Maryland. The FBI assumed jurisdiction and found similar rape cases in New York and Boston..." He then proceeded to give a rundown of the seven murder victims and the two survivors.

Gibbs turned to Fornell. "He's done this before?"

"Yeah Gibbs, so far we've found several victims in New York and Boston, same MO and taking of trophies but he didn't start killing until he moved here, thankfully. We decided to focus on the cases in DC and Maryland because of the proximity and the fact that they are the most recent ones. We might need to rethink that strategy now, especially since we're no longer dealing with an unsub.

Fornell moved the briefing on, opening it up to suggestions, thoughts, observations and questions before they decided how to proceed next and then divvy up assignments.

HRHRHRHR

Daniel Chan sat at his desk, his shoulders slumped as he searched for a lead that would redeem the team and put Cory Callister behind bars, where he belonged. Tony could see how upset the kid was and how he was blaming himself for what had gone down at the search. Being someone who knew a thing or two about blaming himself, Tony decided that someone needed to have a talk with Jackie. Not only was he blaming himself but he was also peeing his pants, about the upcoming investigation by IA.

"Guess it's time to get you a decent coffee, boss?" he stated, indicating with a flick of his head towards Chan.

Gibbs nodded, indicating his approval. "Yeah DiNozzo, go ahead. Why don't ya take Dan with? Get enough for everyone." He stared at Fornell, who was going to protest that it didn't take a senior field officer and an agent to fetch coffee when he saw both NCIS agents watching Chan closely.

Fornell shrugged, the kid did look like a beaten puppy and although he'd tried to reassure him, clearly he'd failed. "Dan, go with DiNutso and get some grub for us too, while you're at it. Are sandwiches okay with everyone?"

"Come on Jackie, you're with me," Tony ordered as he strode off toward the stairs, figuring he should grab the opportunity to exercise the muscles in his leg. It was fully healed but was still a little lacking in muscle tone.

As they left the conference room, he heard Fornell ask the Boss, "Jackie?"

Without even looking, he knew that Gibbs would be clueless and heard Slacks answer with a smirk. "Jackie Chan is an actor/comedian who makes martial arts slash comedy movies."

As he took the stairs he heard Daniel chuckle and he joined in too. He decided to wait until they got to the diner before having a deep and meaningful but he was pleased to hear Chan laugh. He proceeded to gently tease the probie agent as they headed off in search of supplies, to keep them all going. At this rate, it was going to be a very long night.

DiNozzo put in an order for coffees and a pile of mixed sandwiches before ordering a couple of hot chocolates to have while they waited. He dragged the young FBI agent to a secluded booth and sat down.

"Hey man, I'm really sorry about what happened. You do know that none of what went done was your fault, don't you? If there is any fault, it is mine. I can't help feeling responsible." Tony confessed.

Daniel looked shocked and confused. "Umm I don't understand Tony. How can it be your fault? You weren't even there."

"Yeah but I was supposed to be training her. I've tried to convince Ziva that using her set of pick locks could jeopardise prosecution of our cases but I've obviously failed abysmally. Now you're wearing the consequences of my failure. I'm really sorry, kid."

"I still don't see why you think it was your fault. How are you to blame if Ziva didn't follow your orders? There is one thing that I'm confused about, though Tony. How come she is still on the team if she can't follow your orders? I mean, you are the SFA after all and Special Agent Fornell would can our butts if we disobeyed his or Special Agent Sacks orders."

Tony sighed, wondering how the hell to answer that question. Although she normally only flouted his orders, he recalled the confrontation with the Marines. Ziva hadn't followed his order to stand down after she went feral and proceeded to cut a swath through the guards but she'd also disobeyed Gibbs' explicit orders to not engage if they were apprehended. It seemed that when it came to following orders, there were two different standards, depending on who was breaking them but how to explain any of that to Chan, when he didn't understand it himself?

All he knew was that she had no respect him when he had been temporary team leader for four months and she still didn't follow his orders now. So it had to be something that was fundamentally flawed about him or Gibbs would discipline her instead of letting her get it away with it. Heck, it wasn't as if Ziva was the only one who refused to follow his orders. Probie was almost as bad, so it stood to reason that the problem must lie in his abilities to lead or his worth as an agent."

Tony shook his head, not knowing what to say. There was one thing that he could offer Chan though...hope. "Jackie, I promise we're going to get that scumbag Callister and make sure he goes away for a very long time."

Next chapter: Collars and crossing the T's and dotting the I's


	28. Chapter 28

Rating: T

Disclosure: I'm just borrowing them...really

A/N Thanks to my Beta BuckeyeGirl00000 for her speedy work in whipping this into shape. Thanks to everyone for their reviews, alerts and favs etc. Reviews generated a bit of discussion about whether Tony was right to feel responsible for Ziva's failure. I don't usually use author notes to climb on my soap box. I prefer to let my writing speak for its self lol. But here goes...Yes he was her superior but regardless of that, if he isn't supported by Gibbs in upholding his authority in chain of command issues, he isn't likely to be an effective authority figure even if he was the most officious and by the book agent ever. Second thing is that because Officer David is on the team courtesy of first Director Shepard and now Leon Vance, his ability to effectively discipline her failure to follow orders, is fairly limited. That is, even if Gibbs actually observed the COC which he doesn't most of the time. Ziva is pretty much bullet proof and seems to be immune to consequences to all intents and purposes.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 28

Hope... for the first time since the judge let Cory Callister back onto the streets, free to rape and kill more innocent women, he had some. Special Agent Daniel Chan was feeling optimistic that they would get the scumbag and put him away for good, this time. Having talked with Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, he had found himself believing that all was not lost. He felt energised and ready to get back in the game, searching for any fresh evidence that could gain a conviction on Callister.

Tony had promised him that they would find evidence and he found to his surprise that he believed him, implicitly. Given his reputation as a hotshot detective and investigator at NCIS, and factoring in the presence of Gibbs too, Daniel knew that they had a good chance of fixing this mess and giving justice to Callister's victims. Tony seemed so sure and his confidence was infectious.

His empathy had helped too. Chan usually hated being called kid, it always seemed so patronising, yet when Tony used the term before, well he'd actually felt a little thrill, intuitively recognising it as the sign of affection that Tony intended. Daniel also appreciated Tony's gentle teasing, knowing that he was trying to distract him and lift his spirits. He wondered if Special Agent McGee knew just how lucky he was to have Tony for his SFA. It was obvious that Ziva didn't, if what they'd discussed was anything to go by.

He'd only known Tony for a few days, yet it had been him and not Sacks who had taken on the task to make him feel better.

HRHRHRHR

They'd decided at 0230 hours to get a few hours sleep and start again, hopefully fresher at 0800 hours. Gibbs was driving them back to the Navy Yard to pick up their cars and they were reviewing everything they'd done so far. Finally Gibbs told him that Tobias had called in Shauna Jameson tomorrow, as he wanted her computer savvy while they searched through old evidence and tried to find fresh leads. Clearly Fornell had as little regard for making his team working weekends as his NCIS counterpart.

"I want McGee down here, working the case too, DiNozzo. We need all hands on deck so we can wrap this up ASAP before someone else gets hurt. Tell him to meet us at the Hoover Building first thing." Gibbs directed.

Tony clenched his jaw slightly before making a suggestion. "Maybe McGoo could work out of our office? I don't think he'll be too pleased to have to face everyone at the FBI again, after his embarrassment last week. My sources say that they hazed him pretty comprehensively, Boss."

"Gibbs stared at him, astonished before remembering that he was driving and focusing his attention back on the road again, much to Tony's relief.

"Well that's too damned bad for him, Tony. I don't imagine it was much of a picnic for you having to front up and work with Sacks and Fornell again, so soon after they tried to lock you up for murder a second time. It didn't stop you from following orders and doing your job. McGee can grow himself a pair and suck it up. I need him down at the FBI HQ, bright and early."

"Yes Boss," Tony sighed knowing he couldn't talk Gibbs out of it. McGee was going to be royally pissed and lucky him, he got to give him the good news.

They lapsed into silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Gibbs marvelling that DiNozzo who by rights, could so easily have turned into a cynical uncaring individual, was so worried about a teammate. Especially one that was often less than charitable, in return. Tony's concern for others to the exclusion of his wellbeing was sometimes as much of a handicap to himself as a psychopath's lack of empathy for others, was to those around him. Gibbs resolved to devoting some time to nurturing some self concern and convincing DiNozzo he deserved to look after himself even half as much as he looked after everyone else.

He thought about DiNozzo's empathy and wondered what he'd said when he dragged Fornell's probie off to get coffee and grub. The guy looked like a beaten puppy-dog before they left together but he returned looking much happier and threw himself back into searching for fresh evidence with renewed vigour. He wasn't all that surprised that Tony had been able to boost the probie's morale, because it was something that he did all the time. He was taken aback that he'd done so with Chan, though. The kid wasn't their responsibility and he knew that Tony had been uptight and jumpy about having to face the agents who had tried to pin two murder raps on him.

It had taken DiNozzo to notice how much guilt Chan was drowning under and Agent Sacks as his immediate superior either didn't care or was totally oblivious to his junior agent's emotional welfare. DiNozzo had only worked with him for five days, yet was more highly attuned to the young guy. It was just one of the things that made DiNozzo so good at his job, despite his nonchalant claims to doing his job for the guns and the girls. It was a shame that like many other of his qualities, it was taken for granted.

Gibbs growled, deciding he was really looking forward to a long hot shower and a few hours on uninterrupted sleep before they hit the ground running again. He parked the sedan in the car park and the two exhausted agents stumbled to their own cars. Each headed off, out of the car park and to their respective homes for a few short hours respite.

HRHRHRHRH

Tony flashed his headlights to his boss in farewell, before turning off and heading toward his apartment. He cruised down three or four blocks before circling around the block to kill some time, and then headed back to the Naval Yard. Checking to make certain that Gibbs had indeed gone home, he parked his car back in its regular spot, before locking it up and heading for his desk. He decided he would freshen up with a long hot shower before getting in a few hours solitary work.

Gibbs hadn't been exaggerating, when he said that he hadn't been happy about having to work at the FBI especially with Ron Slacks but he accepted it was necessary. Of course numerous snide comments delivered sotto voce about how Tony's junior agents had messed up and the not so subtle implication that if Slacks had been SFA he'd have whipped them into shape, did nothing to endear himself to the furious NCIS agent. Although he hadn't reacted outwardly, he'd been tense and slightly off his game the whole time.

Tony really wanted to check some things out and also re-examine all the evidence they'd scrutinized already, he just needed to do so in a place where he felt more focused and calm. He usually worked best with a level of distraction and frenetic activity, which was something that Gibbs and his various teammates never really got. They thought he was goofing off or lacking focus, except perhaps Abby. She needed the distraction of brain exploding music to concentrate and couldn't deal with silence while working.

Nevertheless he also relished a few hours of intensely focused solitary time to follow-up on his off the wall ideas. He generally preferred to do his contemplation in solitude, which usually meant when everyone else was home in bed. Strangely enough, when Gibbs was rampaging around, chewing everyone up and spitting them out, he found it difficult to centre himself enough to reach the meditative state he needed to pull together any snippets that refused to fit the puzzle pieces that were missing. Uppermost in his mind too, was the promise he'd made earlier to Dan, which had also been a tacit vow to Callister's victims.

A steaming, hot shower, a change into some fresh comfortable old jeans and a long sleeved tee-shirt and he was good to go again. He'd meant what he'd said to Chan, that they'd get the dirtbag; he was determined not to let him down. After all, having failed to stop Ziva's love affair with her pick locks, he was at least partly to blame so he needed to fix it before this monster raped and killed again. For hours tonight, he'd felt that there was something that he'd been missing, as they reviewed the evidence and he was determined to find it. He wanted to hit the streets later today and re-interview some of the witnesses. He simply couldn't believe that no one had seen a thing and he intended to use all his unorthodox skills in information gathering to get them a lead.

Two hours later and Tony leaned back in his chair, relief and triumph battling each other for dominance. He decided to grab a couple of hours of sleep before he made the phone call as per Gibbs' orders, to drag McGee down to the Hoover building. He was confident that he had a new direction to explore when he went back in a few hours. It meant that he could run the lead down and also try to scare up some new information, out on the streets. It had been too long, since he had been out in the field and he was itching to get back again. He knew that he would do his best work, as he searched for evidence that they could use to re-arrest Cory Callister and throw him back in jail. He headed down to Abby's lab, planning to sack out on her futon and recharge his batteries.

After entering the darkened lab, he pulled out his phone deciding to send the Probie a text message, to give him a heads up about joining the hunt for Callister. He figured that way when he called him, he'd be less likely to whine and snap at the messenger. He toed off his shoes and curled himself up as he closed his eyes and drifted off into blissful sleep for a few hours.

HRHRHRHR

Tony arrived at the FBI conference room carrying coffee for the team, still dressed in casual garb suitable for tracking down leads in the field. McGee was already there and discussing the logistics with Shauna Jameson of how they were going to analyse the raw data, to try to find new connections and leads. McGee looked pretty spooked and gratefully received the hot drink. Everyone else was there, apart from Gibbs and Fornell although Tony was pretty sure that they were somewhere in the building. Maybe even in an elevator somewhere having a 'private' meeting. Tony wondered if when they were alone and having a 'meeting' they compared respective dick sizes or just flashed their secret decoder rings at each other, aiming to impress? Maybe they even had some secret handshake; whatever they did though, he wished they'd get their butts into gear.

Tony was impatient to be off, tracking down his new lead. He had a list of people that he wanted to canvas, that could be potential witnesses and a second list of people that he wanted to re-interview because he felt like they'd been holding back information or perhaps certain questions hadn't be asked or followed up properly. He knew better than to head off without checking with Gibbs and Fornell first, but he really wished they'd hurry up already.

He cast a critical eye over 'Jackie' and was pleased to see he was looking rested and more optimistic. Sacks, on the other hand was regarding him with irritation, as the NCIS agent couldn't seem to stop his fidgeting and pacing. Tony felt like a bloodhound that had picked up a scent but couldn't pursue it, which made him hyperkinetic... well more hyperkinetic.

Wanting to get to it but having to wait for his superiors, was making him antsy which was grating on his colleagues as his nervous adrenaline-fuelled energy make him act even more frenetic than usual. Tony almost cried with relief, when he heard the familiar banter, disguised as contempt between the two lead agents. He bounded over to greet them; bearing coffees and to inform them, he needed to check out a few things.

Gibbs stared back at him, no doubt taking in his exhausted appearance. "How much sleep did you get DiNozzo? Ya look like crap."

Tony grinned, "Got my beauty sleep Boss," he deflected. "I want to re-canvas the areas around the victims' homes where they were attacked, talk to the neighbours, ya know?"

Gibbs looked dubious, "didn't tell me how much sleep ya got DiNozzo." Tony just shrugged. "What have you got Tony?"

The younger agent smiled and shrugged. "Nothing concrete yet but I'm hoping that I might have something for you, later on. Have to get out on the streets and work the DiNozzo magic, Boss"

Fornell glowered. What's the new lead DiNutso?"

"Look guys. I just want to talk to some people that were previously questioned because their answers seemed a bit hinky and there are a few people that I want to talk to, that might have seen something helpful. If it pans out I let you know, immediately. SFA's honour!"

The lead agents communed silently before Fornell shrugged. Gibbs sighed, knowing that Tony had something he was holding back but he decided to trust his SFA to follow his instincts. He was rarely wrong and he knew from experience, that sometimes you just had to give Tony his head and let him run with it. He might be unorthodox, but damn he got results.

"Okay DiNozzo but take someone to watch your six."

Despite a miniscule eye roll, Tony nodded his agreement and looked across at McGee who was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible and to avoid eye contact with Sacks and Fornell. He and Shauna were inputting various data and manipulated it, looking for C&Cs, the Holy Grail in investigating; connections and correlations. Sacks and Chan were reviewing the collected evidence yet again, hoping that something would jump out.

The computer geeks were too busy to be spared. There was no way he was going anywhere with Agent Slacks unless they were on the roof of a skyscraper and he could escort him on a one way trip over the parapet. Looked like 'Jackie' was going to be watching his six on this one and he was okay with that. If they got a lead like he believed they would, it was right that the kid uncovered it."

"Can I borrow Agent Chan today, Agent Fornell?"

Tony saw the nod of approval and he took off out the door, eager to chase down his lead, yelling to Chan to get his butt into gear. As the young probie caught up with him, he regarded the agent intently. "Got any casual threads here, Jackie?"

"Yeah, in my locker Tony. Why?"

"Because my dear Probster, we want people to open up to us and talk...forget that we're Feds. Gonna hit the streets. Lose the suit and meet me downstairs in five," he instructed.

When Special Agent Chan emerged from the elevator dressed in a pair of faded designer jeans with several strategically place rips and tight black t-shirt and hoodie, Tony nodded approvingly.

"Much better, Agent Chan."

"So Tony, where are we going and why? C'mon...share," he pleaded.

Tony chuckled. "Okay, Jackie-boy, since you're my partner for the day and you beg so prettily," he ignored the playful punch on his bicep. "It probably didn't escape your notice that six out of the nine victims lived in very close proximity to a dog park? That's where we're starting."

Chan deflated, obviously disappointed with the lead. "Yeah we canvassed people who were out walking their dogs, Tony. We got nothing."

"Ah, but no one thought to check out professional dog walkers. You checked residents walking their own dogs, so that's where we'll start, young grasshopper," he lectured gently. Professional dog walkers often see things because regardless of whether they are walking females or males, their canine charges will be either leaving or collecting wee-mails."

He read the confusion on the younger agent's face and grinned. "Walking the dog in built up urban areas, tends to be... walk a few steps, stop and leave a wee-mail for all the lady dogs to read, then move on and begin again...or walk a few steps, stop to read a wee-mail from a big macho dog that wants to sire your puppies and then begin again...Well are you seeing a trend here, Jackie-boy?"

Daniel nodded but still looked confused, so he decided to give him a bit more information.

"Danny, professional dog walkers...well the good ones tend to be great sources of info. Apart from the fact that they have time on their hands, while their dogs write or read their wee-mail, they have other important attributes too. They're used to reading non verbal body language of their four-legged clients. Plus they usually pay close attention to their surroundings so that they can anticipate any potential conflict between the dogs in their charge and people on the street. They wouldn't want one of the k9s to get bit by a feral aggressive human, Probie."

"Now that I come to think about it, that's sorta my own job description too; I'm the Gibbs Whisperer." Tony's face clouded as he wondered if that was all he was good for and maybe it was why his boss wanted him to stick around.

"Anyway," he continued, "because many of the crime scenes have exercise parks so close by, dog walkers are likely to have been in the vicinity, heading for the parks with the dogs. So I'm thinking, that there's a pretty good chance that one or more of them, might have been in the right place at the right time and seen something. I scoped out the scenes that had dog parks close by, early this morning and have a list of professional dog walking services to check out as well. So Jackie Boy, I sure hope you're not allergic to dogs?"

Dan shook his head. "Err... no Tony, not allergic but I'm glad you made me change my clothes." He grinned before asking, "how come you know so much about dog walkers anyway. You don't seem to be doggy type of guy?"

"I may have dated a dog walker for a while but back when I was a rookie cop in Peoria and still cutting my informant teeth, I discovered after they helped me solve a spate of robberies, that dog walkers were an undervalued source of info. Don't ever discount the solitary apartment dwelling person who might be out on the street with a canine buddy, making a nature's call in the wee small hours, either. When ya gotta go, Jackie-Boy," Tony finished up as he pulled up at Shaw Dog Park, NW Washington, DC.

Two hours later, Chan was exhausted and exultant. They'd visited six dog exercise/socialising areas in the NW Washington and Maryland area and talked to dozens of professional dog walkers. Five dog walkers had recognised Callister as hanging around the crime scenes and two had seen him following victims, shortly before the attacks occurred.

After thanking the witnesses and requesting that they come down to the Hoover building asap to make an official statement, Tony had high-fived the younger agent. "Yes, finally we've got us a lead! Let's inform the gang back home and hit the road again, Jackie Boy. We're on a roll!"

He was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Let's go, reinterview the residents. Somebody had to see or hear something. Some of them are lying, I just feel it and we're going shake the truth outta them."

Aren't we going to follow up on our leads, Tony?"

"Nope kiddo, let Fornibbs and Slacks do the follow up. They can take statements and extract any information we missed. They're super good at all that stuff and the computer geeks can start checking Cory's alibis and where he claimed he was, when he was seen stalking the victims. Once they have the locations of the sighting, the McGeeker's can check out all the security cameras in the area. We might get lucky but we still need to keep looking for more coffin nails. We want this guy battened down so he never gets out."

"Umm Tony...Fornibbs?"

"Well they are partnering today J.B. and despite how they act around each other, Fornell and Gibbs are actually friends...platonic in a very macho heterosexual sort of fashion of course but a crime fighting duo, nevertheless. So Fornibbs...pretty catchy, hey?" Tony was on a serotonin high that owed no lip service to any external stimuli. He'd caught the scent, he had the bit between his teeth; he just needed to run it to ground. They were going to take this SOB down, he could feel it. Tony never even noticed that he was rubbing his thigh, which was beginning to ache from all the running around they'd been doing, although Chan did.

HRHRHRHR

Gibbs and Fornell sat in Gibbs basement, sipping their Jack out of coffee mugs and shovelling Chinese food into their mouths. The only sounds that could be heard were the clicking of chopsticks, as they worked their way through a mountain of food and the occasional grunt or groan of approval. Each of them, lost in thought, processing the events of the last couple of days. Yesterday had been truly terrible day but thankfully today, had been a day of small victories which added up to a win for the good guys. All in all, it was a good team effort, yet both team leaders knew that DiNozzo's investigative nous had been the catalyst for Cory Callister's re-arrest.

How the hell, did DiNozzo come up with canvassing professional dog walkers anyway? If it hadn't been so brilliant, so crucial, so damned vital to put that monster back behind bars again, Tobias would be embarrassed. Literally hundreds of man hours canvassing, questioning, searching for connections, leads, evidence accrued and finally getting enough on the scumbag, only to have it tossed out because of a stupid error. Then in just over twenty four hours, an unorthodox investigator and his own probie agent turned up a solid lead that had been ignored by numerous agents. Then, not content to rest on their laurels, the kid pulls a rabbit out of the hat and finds several pieces of the missing jewellery, linking Callister forensically to the murders.

The pair had gone back and canvassed neighbours of several victims where the murdering rapist had attacked his victims. Tony had identified various discrepancies in interview statements that made him want to go back and re-interview them. Several of the interviewees had lied, fairly innocuous stuff; hearing screaming but not wanting to get involved because of fear or in several cases, due to an illicit affair with a married lover, but one dodgy statement that hit pay dirt. Tony managed to get a rather creepy, weasel of a guy in the last victim's apartment building to admit he had found a jade bangle and a rose gold chain belonging to the last murder victim on the stairs, after the murder. Callister must have dropped it somehow on his way out and the creepy weasel-like guy, Jake Payne had decided to off-load it at a pawnbroker's for some extra cash.

When the victim was found and the LEOs plus FBI swarmed his apartment building, he got scared. He decided to bury the killer's trophies in a friend's backyard. Luckily, the idiot had wrapped it in a plastic Ziploc baggie ensuring that forensic evidence was preserved including not on his own, but the victim's and Callister's DNA as well. Thank the Lord for mentally challenged crims!

Along with the eyewitness' testimony that Callister was seen, stalking two victims and the security footage that the computer geeks McGee and Jameson managed to uncover, courtesy of the dog walkers and it was enough to put the dirtbag back behind bars. Dan looked as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. Even though he still had to face the IA inquisitors, he wasn't acting like a puppy that'd been smacked for peeing on the dining room rug, anymore.

Even Director Dixon had stopped yelling at everyone and chugging down multiple bottles of liquid antacid medication. The only one who was still not completely satisfied was DiNozzo. There was still an antique diamond encrusted, silver locket that was missing. It had failed to turn up at the botched search of Callister's apartment and DiNozzo thought that Callister might have gifted it to someone. He was keen to continue searching for the missing locket and they still had paper work to complete, so they had finished up earlier to celebrate. Gibbs and Fornell retired to Jethro's basement while the younger team members flocked to a local bar for drinks before heading to a favourite Italian restaurant for dinner.

Jethro glanced across at his old friend, protagonist, fellow Diane Divorcee and smirked, obviously guessing at the direction of Tobias' thoughts.

"Yes he good Tobias, and no you can't have him. He belongs to me," he said smugly.

Fornell grinned, "Ya better not take him for granted again, Gibbs because I'm not gonna stop asking him and neither will all the rest. And I tell ya something else, for free. The guy might be a goofball off-the- wall thinker but I'm telling ya, keep trying to make him into a 'focused" mini Gibbs clone and he will lose what makes him so crazy good. Ya'll either break him or lose him to someone like Darryl Amos or me." Fornell grinned infuriatingly,

"Trust me, the world just aint ready for a second L.J. Gibbs, Jethro. DiNutso, he's a one off, brilliant, irritatingly quirky and totally irreplaceable and he's worth ten of any other agent you'll ever have on your team. I'm not just talkin bout his skills as an agent, either. The way he looks out for his teammates even a temporary one like Dan makes him a keeper. In my opinion, ya don't deserve him, Gibbs."

Next chapter: Setting up Stella Thymes and flawed Intel


	29. Chapter 29

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not mine but Stella, Margaux, Gia, Shauna and Jackie Chan are all mine :)

A/N Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and alerted or faved. Due to ongoing computer problems and accessing the internet, please excuse me if I can't respond to your reviews individually. Huge thank-you to BuckeyeGirl00000 for beta'ing this chapter. As in the past, remaining mistakes are my bad!

The next two chapters are my personal crusade to restore Tony's undercover reputation that was so savagely mauled into submission by the 'writers' and I use the term reservedly fpllowing his character assassination in Guilty Pleasure. Hands up anyone who believed that a seasoned cop that would have worked his share of vice cases, as well as bringing down the mafia in Philly could be so completely inept in the sting operation with the escort as it was written? That episode made me absolutely rabid. Anyway, Tony is back to his competent best in the next two chapters. Hope you enjoy it :)

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 29

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo emerged from the stairwell as his cell phone indicated that someone was trying to call him. Checking the caller ID he made a moue of distaste, realising that his very 'favourite' FBI agent was on the end of the line. It was just over a month since he'd worked with the hugely arrogant Sacks on the Hollister serial rapist case. He and Gibbs had been working exclusively with Fornell to ensure that all the I's were dotted and the T's were crossed in preparation for him going undercover to try and infiltrate Stella Thymes escort agency. Tony had been expecting Tobias to contact him to arrange for an expert in accents to coach him, so that he spoke English with an authentic Italian accent in keeping with his persona seeing he was posing as an Italian.

As he rounded the corner and headed for his cubicle, he answered with a curt, "Agent Slacks, what can I do for you?"

A long suffering sigh on the other end of the phone was the only reaction to the deliberate mangling of Special Agent Ron Sacks surname. He said his boss Fornell wanted him to pass along the information, that the voice coach would be attending NCIS at 1.30pm and would be doing so five days a week, for the next two weeks to coach him on his accent. He rang off before Tony had the opportunity to make a snappy comeback. Upon hearing who DiNozzo had been talking to, his boss and McGee both had dropped the casual pretence of not listening to a colleague's private conversation and were trying to figure out what Sacks wanted. It wasn't as if the two agents were undying buddies or anything.

Tony glanced across at Gibbs. "The voice coach will be along at 1330 for the next two weeks, Boss. I'll book the smallest conference room."

Gibbs stared daggers at McGee before replying. "Talk to Cynthia, DiNozzo."

Special Agent Timothy McGee twittered nervously, unsure why his boss was giving him the death ray glare. "Why are you seeing a voice coach Tony? Your voice is annoying to listen to I'll grant you, but I thought only actors needed voice coaches. And how come the FBI are organising it for you, anyway?"

Before Tony had a chance to respond, Supervisory Special Agent Jethro Gibbs leapt in to answer McGee's insolent inquiry.

"Well it's like this Special Agent McGee, after the spectacular failure of their undercover operation to obtain evidence on Ms Thymes, the Deputy Director of the FBI demanded the secondment of my best agent, one Anthony DiNozzo. They want him to infiltrate her organisation. He's going to have to go in undercover and this time they don't want there to be any screw ups."

McGee looked like he was going to puke by the interesting shade of green he turned at the mention of Thymes as he unconsciously started rubbing his butt. He was undoubtedly remembering the hammering he took at the hands of his boss, after he made a royal mess of a simple undercover operation to plant surveillance equipment in the office of Ms Thymes. She was the Madame of the high class escort agency catering for all the movers and shakers in Washington DC. He belatedly processed the second half of his Boss' statement.

"Wait, they demanded DiNozzo? Why would they do that?"

"That would be due to his skills and enviably reputation for successful undercover work, McGee. This woman poses a threat to National Security and the integrity of the legal system and she needs to be taken down… And it is 'our' fault that she hasn't been caught yet." Gibbs was highly ironic when it came to the phrase _our fault_ when they all knew that the blame was McGee's and thereby as his supervisor, blame also fell upon his boss to some extent.

"So what is your cover, Tony?" Ziva David interjected curiously.

Gibbs frowned, still unimpressed with the fact that his Senior Field Agent was going to be involved in a potentially long term undercover assignment. "He's going in as an Italian owner of a male escort agency, wanting to expand to the USA."

"So why does he need a voice coach? He speaks Italian like a native. His accent is flawless, not surprising, as he learnt to speak from Italians."

"It's not my Italian that's the problem, Ziva. Thymes speaks a smattering of Italian if our Intel is correct and I'm not going to trust it either. So anyway, I need to speak English with an Italian accent, not an American one. Hence the voice coach and fair warning guys, from after my session today, I will only be speaking with an Italian accent."

Tony knew that he would need the two weeks of practise to perfect his accent but also knew that it was too dangerous to try and flip back and forth between his normal speech and his undercover language. It was too important to screw up and he wasn't about to get tripped up. He had also arranged with the FBI to forward Italian newspapers and magazines along with a compilation of pop culture music, television and movies so that he could immerse himself in the latest celebrity culture, whenever he could. While there was no indication that Stella Thymes had any Italians on her staff, he had learnt when undercover to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. It was that cynicism that had saved his butt on more than one occasion when he was undercover and without back-up.

HRHRHHRHR

Ziva nodded, understanding why Tony needed to work with a voice coach although she couldn't help but agree with Tim that Tony's voice was annoying. Actually she found his presence in general annoyed her. His perfect smile and his masculine scent were far too irritating and the way he couldn't sit still like a normal person. Not to mention how he often got right up into her personal space.

While it was something she did all the time to throw people, especially males off balance, she did not appreciate it when Tony turned the tables on her. It also annoyed her no end how she and McGee could spend hours spilling over evidence, looking for leads while Tony played around, throwing balls of paper at other people hard at work. Then he'd make some brilliant deductive jump and it would solve the case. He was irritating beyond belief.

She controlled her rebellious impulses though, because she was aware just how important this case was. Her Father was concerned about this Thymes woman and he, therefore Mossad, believed that Thymes posed a threat to the security of the Israel. That was because when the Americans' sneezed, Israel was always in danger of catching a fever too.

While Eli wasn't too fussed about this glorified gimp corrupting the justice system and local law enforcement in the US, the escort agency was becoming too influential with lawmakers, national security personnel and the military. It made Eli David extremely nervous and he had cursed his daughter's indiscretion with the FBI. He accused her of becoming a law unto herself and forgetting that she was playing in someone else's litter box.

Normally at NCIS, it didn't matter how outrageously she carried on, because Leon Vance was every bit as ambitious as his predecessor and therefore couldn't afford to offend his old friend and Director of Mossad. Unfortunately Fornell and his Director were not so impressed with playing nice with Mossad and decided to hold her accountable. That meant that she and Mossad who she represented, had ended up losing face; which made Eli turn feral. He demanded that she fix the situation immediately.

Hence Ziva was trying to keep a low profile since her return to the MCRT following her suspension. It had been ridiculous and incredibly demeaning to end up with a bunch of overeager young recruits at FLETC being instructed by individuals who just wouldn't cut the ketchup at Mossad. Hours of terminally boring instructors hammering on about probable cause, blah, blah and blah, which they'd forced her to memorise and demonstrate an understanding of, before she would be allowed to return to NCIS. Such a waste of her time and talents and she harboured a burning desire to make Fornell suffer...painfully. Very painfully.

Gibbs was still pissed with her and her father hadn't been impressed that she threatened his coveted liaison position at NCIS and all that went with having Gibbs feeling beholden to her. Eli had emphasized that they had a Mossad operative working undercover in the United States at the moment and if things went pear-shaped, he would definitely need Gibbs and Leon Vance's goodwill to smooth over any ruffled Diplomatic feathers. Of course she already knew that Michael was trying to track down terrorists because she'd been seeing him since she returned to Mossad earlier this year.

So now Ziva, under the strictest of instructions to spice favour with Gibbs. She was trying to slowly worm her way back into his affections subtly, while avoiding any controversy. At the moment, Gibbs was super protective of Tony, so she was being cautious of anything that might slap of her criticizing the senior field agent.

HRHRHRHRHR

Tony was already seated at a pretentious and highly trendy upmarket Italian restaurant where generations of hearty Italian fare had been 'fused' with nouveau cuisine to create food that owed more to a construction than for actual consumption. It was where the 'Society' crowd clambered to get a table and be seen rubbing shoulders with all the other wannabe's and 'Try-Hards.' Tony hated the place, imagining all his maternal ancestors on his Italian side of the family would be rolling in their graves at the insult to their cuisine. He preferred little mom and pop establishments that served simple peasant fare in an unpretentious atmosphere, accompanied by good wines and authentic ambiance. But then that was Anthony DiNozzo, not the highly successful owner of a male escort service.

Tony had correctly assessed that Stella and her entourage, would be impressed by this _'it'_ place and want to flock there too. When he had suggested it as a meeting place for dinner to discuss the logistics of opening up his operation in the USA, Thymes had nodded approvingly, although she had warned that the place was hard to get into. According to her, it sometimes took weeks to get a booking _and therein lies the attraction to these silly superficial people who don't even care if the food is as tasteless as shoe leather, _he concluded internally. When he assured her it wouldn't be a problem, she had preened and started flirting, obviously impressed with the persona of rich and influential powerbroker he'd adopted.

Tony had been working the case for nine days now and he felt like things were proceeding as planned. They were hoping that Thymes would see fit to suggest a merger between them, as they would then be able to service clients that desired male or female high class escorts and squeeze out the competition. Stella was hooked and already making overtures about them going into business together while Tony had played extremely disinterested and hard to get. Tonight Thymes had suggested that Raphael Angelli (his cover) should meet some of her most trusted colleagues, no doubt hoping to impress him, perhaps even seduce him into merging their respective stables of escorts.

Hopefully, when he still refused to play ball, she would decide to reveal her hidden agenda in an effort to convince him to join forces. His strategically dropped hints about having highly placed politicians purporting to being heterosexual and running on family values to constituents but utilising his discreet male escorts to satisfy their true needs, was bait too tempting to resist. It was a blackmailer's wet dream and he could see Thymes' highly polished exterior slip momentarily, as she drooled at the potential millions dancing before her eyes. Of course she was also dazzled by the urbane Italian who oozed money and influence, right from the stylish Italian designer clothes he wore to the arrogance and power he exuded, so effortlessly.

He recalled the attention to detail that had been used to craft his undercover identity. The FBI had been working around the clock and Gibbs had insisted that Abby, Ducky, Tony and himself all have input into ensuring that his cover was a flawless as possible. Profilers and Ducky had worked out various scenarios and the best way to manoeuvre Stella Thymes into revealing who she was passing the incriminating evidence on to.

Tony had arrived at the eatery about twenty minutes earlier than the agreed upon time, to scope out the place and see if he could spot any of Thymes hired guns. He straight away spotted Agents Shauna Jameson and Daniel Chan, already seated and sipping drinks as they waited to order. Outside in a surveillance van his other backup included Gibbs, Fornell, Sacks and a very grumpy McGeek.

He wasn't sure exactly what the McGeek's problem was; if he was pissed at having to work with Sacks on the mission he had blown or if it was because he wasn't the one undercover. Sure he'd been holed up in a five star hotel and living the high life trying to sell his cover to Thymes and whoever was behind the operation but there was always a price to be paid for the adrenaline rush and thrill of the chase. These were dangerous people and hopefully they had bought his cover.

It was one reason why Gibbs had insisted that his cover be so meticulously crafted by not just the best Fibbies but NCIS as well. It was why he'd practised so diligently with the voice coach and lightened his hair to a honey blonde sun-streaked colour and worn coloured contacts to change his eye colour to a deep cobalt blue. He had spent the last six weeks pumping iron to bulk up his upper body to further change his appearance and was wearing boots with a heel and lifts to increase his height almost two inches.

While all the changes were fairly subtle, when combined they contributed to changing his appearance enough that any casual acquaintance would hopefully not recognise him. Of course, the changes in personality from the seemingly dumb party boy to what was, in reality, far closer to his real temperament of a serious, intelligent, and driven individual would further convince casual acquaintances that any similarities were coincidental.

The best laid plans however were not infallible and as Tony observed Stella Thymes enter the establishment with two gorgeous women by her side, Tony realised that they were in trouble. He began speaking softly into the mic carefully concealed under the table where he'd planted it when he sat down. He was going to find out exactly how convincing his cover and acting skills really were, because Thymes had someone with her who used to know Detective Anthony DiNozzo.

Next chapter: Mind games and an unexpected support.


	30. Chapter 30

Rating: T

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me :(

A/N Thanks to all of you that reviewed and alerted. I have ongoing computer issue and couldn't thank you individually but I appreciate people taking the time and effort to review. It seems that many of you share my sentiments about how Tony is being written as the comic buffoon... um relief in the last few seasons, to the absolute detriment to his character. The writers should all be forced to watch episodes of MASH to see how a complex, flawed yet highly competent character like Hawkeye could evoke brilliant comedic moments but still not lose his pathos or credibility in any way sighs deeply

Thanks as always go to BuckeyeGirl00000 for her Beta'ing of this chapter. Any/all mistakes are my bad. Finally, I don't plan on making a habit of this but just this once, I thought I'd get some feedback, especially from my regular reviewers. I wasn't planning on revealing the mystery identity of the writer of the Gemcity unauthorised chapter. Thought it was more fun to leave it up to individual reader's imagination but if you are all burning to know the truth I am prepared to be convinced LOL. Let me know what you think!

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 30

Special Agents Gibbs, Fornell, Sacks and McGee were all jammed into the surveillance van together parked around the corner from the swanky eatery, monitoring the various agents who were strategically placed throughout the rendezvous point. Special Agents Shauna Jameson and Daniel Chan were enjoying a 'romantic meal' towards the back of the restaurant and several of the wait staff were undercover, also monitoring the meeting. The mood inside the van was tense.

As they started setting up in preparation for the night ahead, Sacks and Fornell were engaging in harmless but irritating bantering, while McGee was compulsively chewing antacid tablets and looking like he'd rather be anywhere but in the FBI surveillance van. Ron glanced across at his boss before delivering his next conversational gambit.

"Heard the latest scuttlebutt Boss?"

Tobias glared at his 2IC. "When do I have time to chase gossip Ron? Do I look like a prepubescent girl? And what's with the Marine jargon anyway. You ain't no jarhead so talk like a real person," he smirked tossing an amused look at Gibbs.

"Course not Boss," he countered answering Fornell's first or possibly second question although no one in their right mind would tell Tobias he looked like a prepubescent girl, after all.

"But you'll be interested in this snippet, I guarantee it. I have it from a really reliable source, that the latest Deep Six sequel has a special chapter all about how Agent McGregor spends a week working for the dim witted FBI under the L.J Tibbs pretender, Supervisory Special Agent Hobi Sixnell and his arrogant sidekick Agent Ren Slaps. Seems McGregor reveals the undercover ID of Agent Slaps to their mark because he made a clumsy pass at McGregor. I hear that Gemcity's publicist loved the chapter."

Gibbs smirked, watching McGee growing paler by the second. Ron Sacks was remarkably well informed about the content of the rogue chapter. He'd always had Tobias pegged as the chief suspect with perhaps Tony as an outside possibility. Now he was revising his suspect list and putting Ron Sacks right at the top of his list of persons' of interest.

Fornell's expression was like thunder as he glared at the hapless McGee. "Didn't I make it clear to you Timbo, what would happen if anyone from the FBI or any of our cases ending up in one of your goddamned dumb-assed attempts at literature? And I'm not talking about the legal waiver you signed that dealt with imprisonment and financial destitution er restitution, either. Do you remember what I said I would do to a certain area of your anatomy before I forced you to drink it? Did you think I was joking?"

"No way Special Agent Fornell. Someone is setting me up. I didn't write that chapter, it was sent anonymously to my publisher I swear."

"That sounds totally bogus to me MacGregor, not to mention a really clever way to avoid being sued," Ron glowered at him. "Gonna talk to my brother-in-law; he's a big shot defamation lawyer. Want to know if I can sue ya for using me in your book, without my permission and besmirching my reputation... saying I made a pass at ya when we both know it was all in the line of duty. You are so not my type, geek-boy. You're way too pasty for my tastes."

Even though Fornell and Sacks came across as being deadly menacing, Gibbs wasn't certain if they were serious or not but his gut was telling him that the pair where toying with the hapless agent. They almost seemed to be tag-teaming McGee like a pair of alley cats with a cornered mouse. McGee looked like he was going to crap himself or at the very least, up-chuck his entire GI tract and the Fibbies did seem furious. Still, Gibbs gut was screaming that they were trying very hard to mess with his head and succeeding!

Gibbs glanced again at his watch and decided to call a halt to the Fibbies fun. "Okay gentleman, time to focus. Tony's gonna be arriving soon. There'll be time for playing later, kiddies."

McGee spluttered and Sacks looked like that idiot lisping cat that was always swallowing Tweetie Pie, while Fornell flashed him an amused grin before adopting a focused, professional visage. Evidently, Fornell's junior agents were listening in to the conversation too because Special Agent Jameson chimed in over the mic.

"He's here already, Sir... um Gibbs. Raphael arrived about five minutes ago. I think he's scoping out the place to find Thymes flunkies. He looks good, relaxed! We're going to switch to video feed now."

Special Agent Chan took over the commentary. "Tony's heading to their table now and planting the bug so we should be able to hear him soon, even if he can't hear us. I wish he'd let us wire him up."

The series of monitors inside the van sprang to life as Chan's mini cam and the two wait staffs' cams all came on line to show three views inside the trendy eatery. Sacks picked up on Chan's last comment.

"How come we let a Navy cop dictate about going in unwired, Boss?"

Fornell glared at Sacks and slapped him down before Gibbs cut rip out his liver. "Since he is one of the best undercover operatives you or I are likely to ever work with Ron. He didn't want to risk anything going wrong and frankly whatever he wants, he gets."

Fornell looked across at Gibbs. Tony's voice, which had been coming over the air so that McGee could make a sound check, changed abruptly.

"Why the hell is he speaking Italian, Jethro?"

"Its safer that way, Tobias. I have Special Agent Righetti standing by with Abby. She'll translate although I would have expected a fine Italian boy like you would be able to tell what he's saying, since you insist on using the Italian pronunciation of his name. Gotta say, pot and kettle Tobias, seeing you changed yours from Fornelli."

"Gibbs, it Righetti. Tony said CRAP. And he's recognised one of the women with Thymes. She's a Baltimore Vice cop that he worked a couple of undercover Ops with, eight years ago. Says he doesn't know if she's undercover or dirty. Her name is Georgia Cowry and unless we tell him otherwise, he's gonna assume she'll make him and he'll treat her as dirty."

Gibbs, Fornell and Sacks all swore repeatedly. Gibbs barked at McGee, "What are you waiting for? I want everything you've got on her. Find out if she's working undercover, find out everything you can about her, and I wanted it yesterday."

McGee gulped as he hit the keyboard trying to discover if the Baltimore cop was friend or foe. According to her personnel file she had been fired for corruption and taking kick backs from a drug lord in the Baltimore area. Of course, that didn't mean that she was necessarily dirty, as the file might have been doctored to fit in with an undercover op.

Fornell was on the phone with the head of Baltimore PD Vice, trying to find out if Cowry was corrupt. While he waited on the call to connect, Gibbs was listening to Righetti while watching Tony who was looking outwardly calm and confident.

"Does DiNozzo want to abort the mission, Righetti?"

"No Gibbs. He says to hang tight and let things play out. He'll use the emergency phrase if he has to." Righetti's voice came over the radio.

"Why the hell didn't this come to light before, Tobias? Which idiot did the Intel gathering and didn't notice that Thymes most trusted lackey was a vice cop out of Baltimore?"

Fornell looked pissed and studiously avoided glaring at his second although Gibbs had detected a subtle retinal flicker towards Ron Sacks. If Tony was hurt by this screw-up he would kill Agent Slacker with his bare hands and then he would rip Fornell a new one, before making McGee's life a very long living hell.

They all watched nervously while Tony stood up, as Stella Thymes and her two companions arrived at the table. Even though he had to be under a great deal of stress, his smile looked calm and relaxed as he admired Stella Thymes appearance and carefully appraised the two other females with a cool and appreciative eye. As she'd been profiled by the NCIS quartet of Ducky, Gibbs, Abby and DiNozzo, it certainly looked as if Stella had hedged her bets and Gibbs decided she was trying to seduce Agnelli.

It seemed that she had taken the bait that Raphael had dangled, hook line and sinker. She wanted him and his stable of male studs and was going to play hardball to get it. The women that accompanied her were obviously chosen to compliment her and give Agnelli every chance of being seduced by one of the trio, even though it was pretty damned obvious that Ms Thymes was seriously lusting after Raphael.

Georgia 'Gia' Cowry was a stunningly statuesque African American with an athlete's body. The second woman was not one of Thymes' 'escorts' and the temperature of everyone in the surveillance van had risen and their combined heart rate had skyrocketed. She was a pale blonde blue-eyed Nordic type that was petite and possessed an ethereal beauty that screamed vulnerability. Seeing that she was there at this meeting, Gibbs strongly suspected that in this case at least, appearances could be deceiving. Fornell ordered Chan to get a good head shot of the unknown woman and instructed McGee to begin running it against facial recognition software.

"Boss we got a ping. She's Margaux Collier and she's the mistress of a Belgium arms dealer Philippe Mathieu." McGee started rattling off more info but Gibbs tuned him out with a grunt. He needed to keep his eyes on Tony at the moment.

HRHRHRHR

Although he kept rebuffing her overtures, Stella found herself lusting after the Italian businessman, driven to the brink by the alpha male pheromones he exuded. She had always preferred younger men and enjoyed a challenge, which Raphael certainly presented. She was bringing along her most trusted and financially effective escort tonight, along with one of her backers who generally preferred to leave the day to day running of 'Stellar Thymes' to her as the front person. Their goal was to help her convince him that a merger was in both their interests.

Stella's research had revealed that Agnelli had a weakness for beautiful accomplished women so she'd decided to play to his weakness. While she hadn't given up on her goal of bedding him, if she needed to pimp one of her girls to seduce him, well that was just being a canny business woman. Gia was supposedly his type and as her employer, Stella was a pragmatist. Once she'd landed him and his stable of male escorts, well she would always set Gia up on a long trip to Dubai as a reward and go after Raphael in earnest.

Margaux wasn't a professional escort but after hearing the unique business opportunity that a merger with Raphael Agnelli could offer Collier and her partner, she had eagerly volunteered to try and seduce the Italian, if it would seal the deal. Of course, the fact that he was as sexy as all get out; probably didn't hurt either, although she noticed Margaux had studiously avoided mentioning that observation to Philippe Mathieu. She could see how Raphael might be attracted to the Belgian beauty. Margaux had this little girl air about her that seemed to have men scrambling over themselves to protect her. Which was pretty ironic because she was a former, highly successful assassin and very skilled at looking after herself.

Stella knew that her security chief was seated towards the back of the restaurant and she carefully avoided making eye contact or even looking in his direction. As she entered the swank eatery, a twitter ran through the crowd as the well known proprietor of "Stellar Thymes" was a minor celebrity around town, with the celebrity obsessed crowd. She ignored the buzz and focused on the strapping figure that had stood courteously as the trio made their way to his table, turning heads in their wake.

She eyed Raphael appreciatively, as her libido kicked up several notches. Yes she liked them young and good looking but she adored the sophistication and elegance that Continental men affected so effortless. From the way he wore his classically cut European pants that were tight enough to show his assets to the off-white raw silk shirt that emphasised his broad shoulders, he looked good enough to ravish right there on the table. She noticed his eyes revealed his interest, as he took in her dress and hair before checking out her two companions.

He embraced her and exchanged a typical two cheeked European kiss before turning to Margaux, then Gia and with an alluringly endearing fashion, proceeded to kiss their hands suavely, while chattering Italian endearments that made both women flush and their pupils dilate. Stella smirked seeing both ladies, who were not exactly virginal and inexperienced in the art of seduction, melt in the face of Raphael's charismatic Continental charms. She felt a little less irritated with her own response to his presence but she did notice that Gia was staring at him with a slightly puzzled expression, while Raphael focused his attention on Margaux. Apparently he was captivated by her accent and was soon chattering away about the latest happenings on the Continent in a combination of fluent Italian which the Belgian assassin spoke flawlessly and less fluent French which Raphael obviously understood well, even if he spoke somewhat haltingly.

Finally, after their food arrived, talk had turned to the logistics of moving Raphael's business to Washington DC and whether he should bring some of his experienced escorts with him or hire fresh talent here in the States. The three women unanimously agreed that bringing in European escorts would be a popular move with many potential clients and they offered to help him with issues such as visas and work permits. Stella smiled enigmatically and said that she had contacts that would smooth the way.

HRHRHRHR

Tony knew that the meeting was going well. Margaux was obviously one of the silent partners behind the agency and his radar was picking up that despite her air of pale frailty, this was one highly deadly dudette. She has a similar aura to Ziva David, he thought and the hair on the back of his neck was being metaphorically raised. He would bet a month's pay she was even now being run through every known data base in order to find her identity and associates. He was still waiting for some word on Georgia... Gia he corrected himself. How had she managed to slip past the exhaustive Intel gathering that had been done on Thymes and her Agency?

Gia was confused, he could tell. She clearly thought she recognised him but he wasn't sure if she'd made him as Tony DiNozzo or just that he reminded her of someone. Whatever the situation, his subtle changes to his appearance and his behaviour all contributed to his chameleon-like qualities that allowed him to become each of the various roles that he'd assumed over his years in law enforcement. He thought how he'd reinvented himself when he'd attended college, the Police Academy and the various PDs before ending up in DC and he supposed he'd had a fair bit of practise. It had gotten to the point that he wondered if the real Anthony existed any more or even if he ever had. He gave himself a mental head slap, knowing he needed his wits about him.

All night he'd been studiously ignoring Jameson and Chan who had been quietly eating their meal together. Now they both started yelling as an argument broke out between them. Knowing that it would look suspicious to anyone observing him if he didn't turn around and stare at the couple as their bickering became louder and more biting, he joined the coven of three in turning around and smirking at the seemingly domestic argument between the two FBI agents. He knew that some sort of signal was about to be sent and after flashing a glance at the pair, he exchanged amused glances with the three women as they all listened in shamelessly.

"So what, if Gibson got dirty, going out in the rain, Jamie? He's a pointer, a gundog. Stop trying to turn him into a frou-frou little lap dog," Special Agent Chan yelled at his partner hoping Tony would appreciate the canine reference as well as the allusion to the gunny. "I'm not gonna let you put a red rain slicker and rain boots on him, so forget about it."

"I certainly hope that pair haven't brought any children into the world," he quipped, inordinately relieved to have an answer about Gia even if it wasn't the one he was hoping for. He absolutely hated dirty cops and even though he didn't know her very well, her corruption made him sick to his stomach. Tony had been waiting impatiently all night and now he had his answer. Gia was dirty and moreover they wanted him to turn her. It was time to subtly separate her from the coven. Divide and conquer!

He smiled his most beguiling smile at Gia and asked her if she enjoyed dancing, knowing that the easiest way to do this was to pretend to seduce her and drag her back to his hotel where Fornibbs could crack her. He knew they'd threaten her with indefinite internment at Gitmo for starters and bring out the treason card. He stood and extended his hand to her as he led her to the small dance floor and held her close as they started dancing together.

He had to steel himself not to reveal his disgust at her betrayal of the badge and oath they'd both sworn to uphold. He'd always had a visceral reaction to dirty cops but every since he'd fled Baltimore PDs Homicide division in the wake of his partner Danny's corruption, all dirty cops had become a personal affront to him. He felt defiled by being in their presence.

HRHRHRHR

In the surveillance van, the mood while still tense, had certainly dialed down several notches. The identification of Collier and her arms dealing partner Philippe Mathieu, had given the agents real hope that they had the lead they needed to finally crack this case, wide open. They watched as Raphael set about seducing Cowry who certainly seemed more than happy to oblige.

McGee looked distinctly put out and couldn't restrain his pique or his tongue, forgetting that sound amplified in the metal box- like shell of the surveillance van.

"Typical! I get a tonsillectomy from Agent Sacks and a beating and a kick up the backside for my efforts. DiNozzo gets to wine and dine gorgeous women and now gets to have his lips sucked off his face by a sexy Amazon. Why does he get all the good gigs?"

Before Gibbs could reach over and slap him silly, Ron Sacks leap in. "I may not be his biggest fan, but I'll tell you something for nothing Special Agent McGregor. If Agent Tommy had to chose between sucking face with a dirty ex-cop, even a gorgeous one and yours truly during an undercover Op, he'd chose me every time. He may not like me but he hates corrupt cops more. Don't kid yourself that he's enjoying one minute of this. First thing he's gonna do is take a long hot shower tonight to wash away the filth and go through a mountain of mouthwash to wash away the sickening stench and he's still gonna feel sick to his stomach. Betcha he finds himself in the bathroom worshiping the porcelain god tonight."

Fornell and Gibbs exchanged amused glances. Sacks and DiNozzo would never be buddies but Sacks at least understood that while undercover work might seem glamorous to an amateur like McGee, the reality was far different. Undercover operatives often had to do things that they would never want or need to do normally for the sake of the mission and often their lives. Sacks, it seemed had a sneaking admiration for Tony and his undercover skills, even if he'd never admit it. Gibbs almost decided to let the Gia Cowry balls-up slide, before deciding that he still needed to have his butt kicked.

McGee on the other hand couldn't see beyond living the high life and the excitement. He seemed to view it all through the superficial eyes of the simplistic Thom E. Gemcity. Gibbs decided that he still didn't get it and he was going to have to hammer a few home truths through his thick skull. He wondered if Tony would agree to McGee reading his account of his time undercover with the Macaluso Mob because it certainly wasn't glamorous or exciting.

Sure McGee was a genius when it came to all things of a cyber nature but when it came to real life and dirtbags, he could definitely do with even just a little street smarts to season his naiveté. Was he simplistic and arrogant because of his success as a writer who wrote simple pop culture stories or did he become a popular writer because he was arrogant and saw the complexity of life in such simple terms and that translated to his books? He guessed it was a literary chicken and egg conundrum.

Then there was the honkin huge contradiction where he claimed to want to be a field agent, not a cyber geek, yet all his down time was spent in the solitary pursuit of writing what amounted to mind numbing crap that was pretty much adult fairytales. When he wasn't writing, his other escape from the _harsh realities_ of being a field agent was to play those damned fantasy games on line with other equally socially inept individuals.

He recalled that case that he'd worked years ago with Kate and Tony aboard the USS Foster and the two emotionally retarded young guys who hadn't been able to separate reality from fantasy when they'd played that MMORPG fantasy BS. Seaman Russell McDonald had been a brilliant young cyber geek working in the Combat Information Centre but hadn't fit in socially with the crew and gradually come to believe he was the online identity he'd created for his game. When Weylin aka McDonald discovered that his arch nemesis Kinvaris who by some freak of fate, was also serving aboard The Foster, it had all gone to hell in a hand basket.

The game had quickly spilled over into their professional life as reality and fantasy began to blur, starting out with sword play and ending when Kinvaris had begun to fear his opponent. He'd convinced Weylin to prove his immortality by swimming to the mainland, despite being weighed down by lead weights. Even with his inevitable death by drowning, Seaman McDonald had attempted to assassinate the ship's captain by placing an explosive device in his cabin. Apparently Seaman McDonald had become paranoid about the ship's crew, becoming convinced that his CO along with the crew, supported Kinvaris, the fantasy alter ego of Petty Officer Ronald Zuger, who also worked in CIC. The pair had, in the end, been unable to separate fact from fantasy and he wondered if McGee was starting to believe his own fantasy manifesto too.

Sure they all had their own ways of dealing with stress, he used his basement and bourbon, Tony used movies and casual dating to cope with the stress of their jobs but Gibbs had to wonder if McGee with his passive aggressive personality and discomfort in social situations, wasn't in danger of being subsumed by a fantasy world where he was the Elf Lord and Thom E. Gemcity. Maybe he should decree that the team join the NCIS baseball team again. In the early days he and Stan and then Tony, when he joined the MCRT always played in the DC LEOs league.

It might do Tim the world of good to have to be forced to deal with some real people for a change. He even dated online for heavens sake and despite his brilliance had twice had his identity stolen, not to mention having the plot for his second stupid book stolen and hijacked by a crazed stalker fan. And it had been his supposedly dim witted SFA who had figured out how McGee was leaving himself so vulnerable to be duped and come to his rescue. Yeah, time that Tim got a strong dose of reality and stopped hiding in the cyber world of his.

Next chapter: Mutely musing and making amends.


	31. Chapter 31

Ratings: T

Disclaimer: These character do not belong to me, it just feels that way after 31 chapters lol

A/N Once again huge thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted and faved HR. Your opinions and interest has probably been responsible for quite a few additional chapters. :D As in previous chapters big, no huge gratuities extended to BuckeyeGirl00000 for being a great beta. Her suggestions have enriched this chapter even if it added even more to the already large word count. Any remaining errors are my bad :)

Just need to issue a warning as I did in chapter 26. If you are a big fan of McGee, you might want to skip this chapter. Having said that, it is a seminal chapter in this story, as it deals with the episode Bounce which marked a turnaround in Gibbs' attitude to Tony from the rather frosty one that existed early in season 6.

And speaking of excessive wordage, this chapter is inordinately long but I couldn't find a logical place to break it. So with that in mind, pack a picnic lunch or get into your PJs, grab your sleeping bag for a slumber party and enjoy.

McGee: Who'd want to impersonate Tony?

Ziva: Perhaps Jack Nicholson. You know, for impersonation revenge.

HRHRHRHRHRHRHR

Ziva: Maybe we should go easy on him.

McGee: Think he'd go easy on us?

Ziva: Good point!

HRHRHRHRHRHRHR

McGee: So Tony's in charge again.

Ziva: Yes.

McGee: So how do you feel about it?

Ziva: Tony is a competent, capable investigator… and a good leader. You do not agree?

McGee: Naw I agree, it's just he's kinda irritating when he's not the boss. When he is, he walks around with that peacock strut… that smirk… it's like… he's right behind me isn't he?

HRHRHRHRHRHRHR

McGee: You can almost hear the band playing inside Tony's head.

Ziva: He really does love this part.

Gibbs: Aw he's earned it.

**"Bounce" episode 16 season six.**

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 31

Boat, Bourbon, Basement

Gibbs sat in his basement, sipping on some of his beloved Jack while he reviewed the details of the case they'd closed today. He was really hoping that DiNozzo would stop by when he finished up his case report as the lead investigator for the Renny Grant case, so they could debrief and decompress together. He had been slowly trying to rebuild trust with his senior field agent and he knew that this case had been hard, emotionally on DiNozzo. On top of the emotional fallout of the case, there was also the knock-on-effect of the last undercover assignment to shut down Stella Thymes and her cohorts.

Thanks to Tony's work posing as an Italian owner of a male escort agency, they'd managed to flush out the silent partners who turned out to be an arms dealer and his assassin mistress. The Op had taken a personal and risky turn, when a corrupt former cop turned escort and confidant of Thymes had ended up knowing Tony when he worked as a detective on the Baltimore PD. Fortunately, due to a combination of sophistication in preparing Tony's cover but also his impressive ability to assume a persona with a skill deserving of winning an Oscar, Gia Cowry had been puzzled, feeling like she had met Raphael Agnelli somewhere but not twigging that he was a former colleague.

While they'd turned Cowry and coerced her into helping to set up her colleagues, it had been a tense time. First off, dirty cops were anathema to Tony. He never talked about his ex partner but Gibbs knew just how hurt he had been to learn that someone he had trusted with his life, was corrupt.

Gibbs figured he had some idea of why Tony was so affected in general by dirty cops because he felt the same way when he investigated Marines who betrayed the uniform and the pledge that they sworn to uphold. Sadly, as a special agent, he had encountered far too many Marines who had failed to live up to the Marine Corps creed and that made him angry beyond measure, not to mention sickened, disgusted and a myriad of other emotions he simply wasn't capable of articulating. _Big surprise,_ he snorted! What he hadn't had to face, was the betrayal of trust that came from having a partner, someone who you entrusted with your life each and every day, who was corrupt and betrayed every principle that you held dear. He simply couldn't begin to understand how much that had to pain his friend, _okay damn it Ducky, his surrogate son._

Trust was something Tony gave very sparingly, and to have that trust thrown back in his face by a partner and essentially spat upon, made him even more wary of trusting people afterwards. That lack of trust meant that while, he and Tobias had 'convinced' Gia Cowry that she had no choice but to help them shut down the Stellar Thymes agency, Tony was extremely distrustful of her. As he explained impatiently to McGee, _you could never place your trust in someone who had betrayed the badge, especially when she was cooperating with them because she had no choice._ The threat of indefinite imprisonment because she posed a threat to national security or actually being charged with treason which carried the death penalty, left her with little wiggle room.

Yet as DiNozzo had pointed out, if she thought she could escape, she wouldn't hesitate for a second, to blow Tony's cover and the operation. Apart from the issue of never being able to trust her, Tony was just plain uncomfortable having to be around her and act like he was having a relationship with her. Although he was a professional who excelled when undercover, the strain of being around a former colleague who was dirty, had absolutely taken its toll on him and even with the successful completion of the operation and the arrest of Thymes, Collier and Mathieu, it had been fraught.

Of course with a case that involved National security issues, politics had inevitably raised its ugly head and many of the compromised 'so called victims' of the blackmail were considered to be far too high profile to be exposed and embarrassed by scandal. The subsequent cover-up had been unpalatable for DiNozzo who had been particularly scathing at the thought of politicians, the judiciary, and law enforcement and high place military personnel being protected. It sickened DiNozzo as it did his colleagues and cheapened his efforts and sacrifice during the weeks he had been involved in the case. Yeah though he hadn't physically been harmed by the undercover operation, it had still extracted far too high a cost, emotionally and psychologically. Gibbs had had his six while he was undercover, making sure he got out alive but he also needed to continue to be there, to show DiNozzo he still had his six as he managed the difficult transition back from undercover mode to his senior field agent.

Jethro was also hoping the support he had given him while he led the investigation, would help build some much needed bridges between them, and also lessen the guilt he knew that Tony felt. He vividly recalled the crushing guilt he'd experienced a few years ago when he and Tobias had to face the unpalatable truth that they'd locked up the wrong man for murder. Petty Officer Derek Paulson had taken matters into his own hands by escaping from prison and going out to seek retribution, forcing himself and Tobias to investigate even though Gibbs was certain until the end that his infamous gut had been right and the Petty officer was guilty. Finding out that he had helped convict an innocent man had been devastating, both to his ego and his conscience.

Sure everyone made mistakes occasionally, but you hope like hell that mistakes don't result in someone who was innocent being convicted of a crime. Today, although they had closed the case, found the dirt-bags that framed Renny and charged Marine Sergeant Mitch Wilkins with the death of Lieutenant Justin Grady, the original money had never been found. Gibbs knew that Tony would obsess about that fact, even though both of them suspected that Renny Grant might have tracked it down and appropriated it from the three dirt-bags, Wilkins, Davis and Grady. It was still a loose end and both of them would continue to fret about that detail.

Gibbs had considered it to be a perfect opportunity to personally witness, how the two junior agents responded to Tony being lead investigator. Yes he had observed him before when he and Tobias had come back to work the case they'd gotten so wrong, but he hadn't been looking at how the two juniors performed or related to DiNozzo as team lead. He was still messed up, really didn't want to be there and then he was forced to confront the truth that he'd screwed up and incarcerated an innocent man, so he was chewed up with the same self-doubt and loathing that Tony was also experiencing now.

All he remembered was that Tony had seemed to be a calm and authoritative leader, not trying to ape him and certainly had shed his goofy mask. This time while he'd longed to step in and head slap the other members of the team when they behaved insolently, he'd hung back, observed and supported. If he was being honest he'd have to say he didn't like what he saw and heard.

As a former Gunny and as team leader, he had done the management training courses and knew about the Hawthorn Effect. He knew that people's behaviour changed whenever they thought that they were being observed, so he understood that they would not be behaving completely naturally with him around. So Gibbs used all his usual tricks to spy on the team and then some, not because he wanted to seem omnipotent and all knowing this time around, but because he wanted to discover what they were really doing and thinking when they didn't think their actions were under the microscope.

Still, he also knew that the so called Hawthorn Effect tended to diminish over time. McGee in particular was so much a product of the cyber age; he was much more comfortable with the concept that Big Brother was watching and seemed to forget that the ultimate Big Brother was looking on. It was one reason why Tim was damned easy to spy on.

Ziva and Tony were less easy to spy upon. Most of the time when he snuck up on his senior field agent, Tony was already aware that he was there and simply putting on a show of being caught out, deliberately baiting him. It was all part of his pretence at being a dim-witted and harmless prankster. He'd discovered when he was working the Paulson case with his former team, that Tony had his own ways of observing the team without betraying his presence. He found him using his cell phone connected to his desk phone speakers to listen to their conversation in the bull pen. It was such an elegant trick that Gibbs had adopted it and enjoyed eavesdropping on the team especially while watching the troops from the Mezzanine level and pretending to be talking on the phone.

Ziva, while accustomed to being under constant electronic scrutiny as a resident of a country always on Red Alert for terrorist attacks, was more guarded than McGee, generally. Lately, though, she had seemed much more so than usual. He had noticed it for a while now but it was even more pronounced since she had returned from FLETC. It was like she was hiding something and he wanted to know what was going on with her.

So he expected her to be more aware that he was scrutinising their behaviour and he had been correct. She seemed particular guarded in her comments to DiNozzo when he was around. When McGee was ranting on about how insufferable Tony was usually but how unbearable he was when leading the team, her comments in response had been quite politic and cautious, like she knew Gibbs was listening. He remembered her rants and complaining when he'd come back from Mexico and she'd been much more vocal in her criticisms about him leading the team. At the time, it had filled him with satisfaction that he was irreplaceable but now he saw it as a sign of his deficiency as a leader.

Gibbs also couldn't help but notice that neither McGee or Ziva seemed to particularly upset that the team had helped to convict an innocent man. They behaved as if it was all DiNozzo's responsibility and Gibb's had to question how he'd managed to train two team members who didn't feel any accountability for the cases that they worked on. It was a further confirmation of Ducky's reports of their behaviour when he was taking his hiatus. He considered it a bitter condemnation on his skills as a team leader who had bought into his own fame.

He pondered upon how earlier, McGee had refused to hand over the photographs that they first thought had been mailed to Commander Karl Davis' wife by an supposedly avenging spouse, proof positive that he'd been cheating on her. Gibbs had made it absolutely plain from the outset that Tony was lead investigator on the case and McGee obviously didn't like it and was clearly attempting to undermine DiNozzo. Apart from that, he was demonstrating his complete disregard for the chain of command and also by extension, Gibbs' authority as he'd issued the original order.

Jethro doubted very much that McGee had considered that though, when he'd acted with such insubordination. It was highly unprofessional behaviour, immature and just plain petty. But then, no one did petulant quite as well as a passive aggressive and Tim was a master.

Gibbs couldn't help but compare the situation to another one when as an extremely green recruit; the then probationary agent had been sent to check out an eyewitness account about a sailor being strangled. Upon meeting the potential witness, Tim had immediately decided that a crime had occurred. He'd tried to spin Gibbs some BS about learning from him to trust his gut, but as Tony had tried to point out to the probie, he was responding with something slightly lower than the intestinal tract.

Truthfully his 'gut reaction' had merely been his hormones talking, as the witness was young, female and very attractive, not to mention a computer programmer who was a fellow alumni from MIT. The last two factors automatically it seemed in McGee's eyes, to defer instant credibility upon said young lady, rather than on there being any actual evidence. The fact that as evidence mounted that there might well be a fatality, McGee was so thrilled that his pretty witness appeared to be vindicated, and by extension himself as well, that he failed to appreciate that someone had been murdered, said much for his immaturity as a field agent.

It was Tony who had found forensic evidence that seemed to lend weight to the murder theory, when he and Cate had attempted to recreate the alleged crime. Cate had been incensed when Tony had restrained her and had responded by throwing him to the ground, in her attempt to prove as a former secret service agent, she was better at unarmed combat that her SFA. She never twigged, any more than Ziva had, that Tony would never hurt a female agent and always allowed them to win any tussles they had. As an only child, he had never learnt to fight with siblings the way both women had, so he also never learnt that he could beat a girl and still not hurt them.

He might act like a misogynist according to Cate, but he was often too chivalrous for his own good. Gibb's thought about how Cate wouldn't hold back when she elbowed him in the gut and how he'd just take it. It was technically after all assault. Just like he took all the head slaps too, without complaint which was typical behaviour for someone who was accustomed to physical abuse. He even went out of his way to try and take head slaps in place of his team mates to protect them. How did he not ever see that?

What struck Gibbs though about that particular case with Tim; was the way the team had supported their Probie. Kate and Tony had been patient and supportive and Tony had good-naturedly handed over his flashcard full of photos for McGee to examine, instead of turning them over to Gibbs as team lead. That was despite McGee being an absolute novice or the fact that he had consistently failed to show DiNozzo the professional respect he was due. How as a very raw newbie field agent promoted to the MCRT, he'd had the gall to openly rebuke his extremely seasoned senior field agent on one of the first cases he worked on. He had sided with Cate after she had naively stated that she believed an accused rapist to be innocent, when he was in fact guilty.

Tony had correctly pointed out, in his role as senior field agent responsible for training the two junior agents, that all rapists were prone to lie. Neither agent seemed to appreciate that he had one hell of a lot more experience than either of the junior agents with investigations in general and rapists specifically. Yet McGee felt it was appropriate to lecture his direct superior about keeping an open mind, an interaction that had rapidly degenerated into a slanging match while Cate decided to lecture Tony about correct procedure.

Gibbs felt guilty that he had found the incident amusing at the time, when he should have upheld Tony's authority and his observations. He'd let Cate's profiling background affect his and her perceptions so that when the fake emails emerged, they had simply assumed that the victim was guilty and treated her like a suspect rather than the traumatized victim she really was. He'd rushed to interrogation and broken Rule 7 without waiting to check if the emails were authentic and had been sent by her, and most likely added to her trauma, basically because Cate had been taken in by a dirt-bag. Perhaps if he'd taken her to task over that error, she might not have made the same mistake with Ari and she might well have killed him when she had the chance, before he killed her.

Or the time when McGee dared to tell his SFA that he'd graduated top of his class at FLETC and didn't need advice on how to process a scene or search for evidence, when DiNozzo was trying to warn him about the dangers of poison ivy, when he was looking for a murder weapon. While McGee had suffered accordingly for his hubris, it hadn't tempered his arrogance. Despite coming across as an under confident and nervous probie, he had clearly had plenty of confidence in his ability as a field agent and his potential to climb the NCIS ladder.

He knew that McGee had assured his senior field agent that he wasn't after his job, during the first case that he worked after joining the team. The fact that he even expressed such a sentiment to a superior, spoke volumes to the fact that he felt he had the necessary skills to usurp said superior, even if he denied wanting the job. As a highly skilled interrogator, Jethro knew that when someone told you that they weren't thinking about doing something, most particularly when they hadn't specifically been asked that question, it was a dead cert they were lying. Most newbie's, especially being lucky enough to gain a place on the much vaunted MCRT, would never dream of expressing such a sentiment to their superior, much less have the thought in the first place.

The idea that McGee could actually measure up to the skills and experience of DiNozzo was utterly laughable. Back then when he joined the team and even now, they were worlds apart. Gibb could see now, that he should have seen those earlier incidents as a sign of arrogance and disrespect and also as a portent of the chain of command and insubordination issues that were to develop. He should have stepped in right away, to support his senior field agent and establish that he was more than qualified for the role. He also should have made it plain that there was a chain of command in the team and that it was to be respected.

He thought again, to the case of the strangled sailor and the MIT witness and how Tim had begged to be allowed to accompany Gibbs down to see Abby and determine what evidence she had discovered. How he'd overstepped the mark with the prickly Forensic Scientist who had a very rigid series of rituals that needed to be observed for her to divulge her accumulated data. Abby had responded curtly, not pleased to have anyone usurp the dynamic that had been established between the two of them over the years, especially a freshly minted newbie investigator.

Even when Gibbs had instructed her to cut McGee some slack, she'd refused to hand over a written report to him and insisted on giving it to Gibbs. All designed to essentially smack him over the muzzle and remind McGee of his lowly rank in the scheme of things. While that scene with Abby had superficial similarities to the one in Commander Davis' bedroom, the differences were profound. McGee had not been leading the investigation, nor was he qualified to do so, then or even now. DiNozzo on the other hand, was eminently qualified to lead the investigation in this case and was doing just that.

While Abby's behaviour had wounded Tim's feelings, it wasn't insubordination, merely impolite and somewhat childish but McGee's spiteful behaviour was clearly insubordination and intended to slight and undermine. Knowing his SFA, Tony would assume that it was his due and accepted it, even if it wounded him deeply. Gibbs however was taking careful note of what was going on and this time he wouldn't let DiNozzo down by ignoring or condoning it. He would simply bide his time. He also had noted how when Ziver and McGee had been given the order to gear up, they'd effectively ignored Tony's edict until Gibbs had reissued it.

It gave him some inkling of what it must have been like for Tony, trying to assume control of the team when he'd headed down to hang out with Mike and drink himself into an alcoholic haze. Moreover when he'd spied on his favourite lab rat after Tony had gone to her lab to hear her findings, he'd been seriously disappointed in what he saw. Abby slapping a trainee label on Tony who was beyond being a competent investigator, one who could clearly have his pick of jobs, was instructional but also extremely infuriating to him, so he could only imagine how DiNozzo must feel. Abby was top notch as a forensic investigator but her behaviour was rude and unprofessional. It was even worse somehow, because Abby was such a good friend… supposedly. The fact that she had been forced to remove it again, didn't absolve the action of its sting or of the intended disrespect.

Not to mention, it was completely inappropriate to try and force Tony to become a Gibbs' clone, as Ducky and Fornell were always at pains to point out to him. Tony's strength was that he was the antithesis of himself. Socially adroit with a wide ranging array of people, notwithstanding very small children, he could work a crowd like no one Gibbs had seen before. He instinctively understood how to soothe ruffled social feathers and comfort the angst ridden, where Gibbs found himself paralysed by the emotional pain of others. Hell he couldn't deal with his own, so no surprise that facing victims' pain left him feeling impotent, which inevitably fed his anger. It probably went some way to explain why his three divorces had indeed ended up so acrimoniously.

In contrast, while DiNozzo struggled to relate to kids in general, Gibbs could and did respond to them with the consummate ease of a practised father. He was also especially adept at relating to children who were traumatized by crime and loss and seemed able to absorb much of their emotional pain and make it his own. Unfortunately, the contrast between him and his SFA didn't stop there. The vicarious traumatization he experience in helping these damaged kids made him even more angry and obsessed than he was normally which inevitably effected those around him, while Tony turned his own osmotic emotional pain and anger inward and self flagellated.

Gibbs knew that he was focused to the point of obsession when working a case. Moreover he recognised in his more introspective moments that his obsession didn't just affect his own behaviour but also worked to the detriment of those around him, especially his team, as Tony had pointed out on more than one occasion and lived to tell the tale. Sure he was always head slapping him to get him to focus but if he was being completely honest with himself for a change; Tony could be just as focused and obsessed as he was when it came to cases. The reality was, Gibbs was an angry guy and when the going got tough, he got ferally pissed off and Tony's constant yammering which was his way of releasing tension, bugged the crap out of Gibbs even when he was mellow.

When he was pissed, he actually looked forward to being able to target DiNozzo and release his own stress levels. Which in hindsight was pretty lame to use Tony to do so; it was even more pathetic, seeing he'd been his father's crutch to make him feel better too when Tony was as kid. It was just that he'd somehow managed to view his 2IC as the proverbial Bobo inflatable clown that no matter how much you punched and wailed on it, always managed to bounce back again. Except that the blow-up clown _really_ _wasn't_ capable of withstanding unending abuse.

Tony's strengths complimented Gibbs' and in reality, if he became a Gibbs clone, apart from driving the team away, Gibbs was honest enough to know that he would probably be threaten by his SFA. Tony was so scarily proficient at adopting assumed roles that he would probably end up doing a better Gibbs than he did. But it was time for Abby and the team to realise that while his way worked for him, it wasn't the be all and end all of leading the MCRT. Sure Abby worshipped the ground he walked on and he admitted he loved it, hell he actively sought to portray an image of an invincible and all-knowing dictator but that did not excuse her treatment of Tony who was supposed to a friend.

He'd been watching Tony closely lately, and he observed that colleagues on the other teams gave him more professional respect and friendship than his own team. Watching the Jimmy Palmer/ Tony dynamic had provided extra insight not only into their relationship, but also the fact that it was needed in the first place. It was really a pretty damning commentary on the so called family status that was supposed to exist on the team. Although Palmer and DiNozzo were as different as day and night, somehow they had forged an understanding that went far beyond the sum of their differences.

Gibbs recalled the individual responses of the team when he'd reviewed the evidence collated by Grant. While obviously he had no computer degree from MIT, the framed man still been able to prove pretty convincingly that he'd been set up by someone to take the fall. DiNozzo as the Supervisory Special Agent during the case had immediately shouldered sole responsibility for the error yet it was pretty clear that the two junior members didn't hold themselves to the same high standard. Their attitude seemed to suggest, by their less than driven behaviour, that they viewed the failure to have little reflection on their actions and were happy to let DiNozzo's absorb all the blame.

Yet their reports didn't indicate that they'd had any doubts at the time. Nor did they indulge in any 'I told you so's' either to DiNozzo, which they would surely have done, given their desire to get one up on Tony and try to curry favour with him, if they'd had any doubts about the case. Their silence was damning both as an indicator of their own expenditure of effort or emotional investment in the initial case and their reaction to discovering that they had helped to send an innocent person to jail. Maybe they rationalised their own culpability as being negligible because they weren't in charge, although McGee certainly had been in a supervisory role as Tony's Senior Field Agent. In his shoes, Tony would have been totally cut up and determined to right the wrong.

No doubt they told themselves that the investigatory branch was only the first stage of the legal proceeding and that the defendant and his lawyer had the supposition of innocence on their side and had failed to prove it. And that was true, but it was not how he operated, nor was it how Tony conducted himself professionally either, which was probably what made them such a good team. Even though he uniformly failed to recognise or acknowledge it to himself, most of the time.

There was another issue that was nagging at him, which was that McGee as the computer genius working the case, had failed to identify the fact that Renny Grant had not been the dirt-bag but been skilfully set up. Nor did he or Abby who was the only other person with the requisite technical expertise, manage to trace the stolen money. In the subsequent investigation into Lieutenant Grady's death and then their reopening of the original case, McGee didn't appear to be perturbed by his flawed computer analyses, upon which the whole case hinged. In fact, when Tony had called him on his lack of commitment to the current case, he'd been essentially brushed aside by the computer guru in an equivalent of 'bite me.' Gibbs recalled how Ducky had insisted that after he lit out to stay with Franks, Tony had been forced to do most of the work of the MCRT personally, even while trying to keep everyone from coming unglued and this seemed proof positive that he'd been speaking the truth.

Granted that the former mail worker was highly motivated to prove he had been framed and it had taken him three years to do so but then again, he like Tony wasn't a computer genius. Why hadn't McGee been able to discern that the computer records were fake? Was it that Wilkins and his cohorts, were that good at dummying up computer records? If that was the case then it called into question his expertise, which he was constantly throwing in Tony's face or he hadn't given the initial investigation his full attention. Had he been more interested in bitching about Tony being appointed as team leader and preoccupied by undermining him rather than performing his duties?

Based on what he'd observed today, Jethro felt that it was more likely the latter. Especially considering that he seemed unaffected by the fact that Renny Grant had served three years for a crime he hadn't committed. Nor did he seem particularly invested in getting to the bottom of who had been the real dirt-bags either. Gibbs felt incredibly disappointed in the man he had hand picked to join their team. While in contrast, he had felt nothing but pride for the way Tony had assumed absolute responsibility for the screw-up and been unrelenting in getting to the bottom of the murder and the earlier robbery.

He recalled with a rare sense of sentimentality, how Tony had been shocked and then shyly pleased when Gibbs had told him how proud he was of the job he was doing, leading the team and setting things to rights again. He really hoped that his support had gone some way to mend bridges although he knew that he still had a lot of ground to make up. He was hoping that it would be enough to encourage his SFA to call by tonight and share a meal like they had done in the past. It it had been a long time, far too long since Tony had felt comfortable enough to do so.

In the meantime while he waited, he decided that it was high time he executed his plans to teach Ziva and Tim some valuable lessons about arrogance and the importance of observing the chain of command. If the last case and the time the pair spent at the FBI, not to mention the fallout from their actions whilst there was anything to go by, it was high time the pair learnt that their shit still stunk just like everybody else's. He was mentally working through the steps he would need to activate the plans he, Ducky and Tobias had cooked up in his kitchen weeks ago. The sooner the better, because they were going off rotation for several weeks and assigned to cold cases.

Tony was going to be busy with the trial of the surviving dirt-bag from the Halloween convenience store robbery and those seminars that the interfering bastard Darryl Amos had set up. Conniving jerk had had the Metro Police Chief make a formal request to Vance that Tony be permitted to present training seminars to his detectives that worked undercover, which circumvented Gibbs attempts to discourage the liaison between Tony and the backstabbing Amos. As he felt a surge of irrational hatred for the Assistant Chief of Police, he caught a whiff of pizza as the front door opened and softly closed again.

Next chapter: Mentoring madness, meeting up with an old 'friend' and leadership lessons


	32. Chapter 32

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own the NCIS characters but then after 32 chapters I really don't need to tell you that again.

A/N This chapter is a little shorter than average I'm afraid. Thanks once again to BuckeyeGirl00000 for working her magic on this chapter. All remaining mistakes are mine. Thanks to everyone for their reviews, alerts and favs. We are fast approaching the end of this story, with possibly another one or two chapters to go I think. Special thanks to DS2010 for contributing the name for the main character in this chapter. It's a beaut lol.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 32

Spenser Frederick Rolston IV reported to NCIS Reception and found a tall thin man with curly hair and glasses waiting for him. He introduced himself as Jimmy Palmer and told the young man that Doctor Mallard was down in Autopsy. He followed Jimmy into the elevator after completing the security procedures necessary to gain access to the federal agency, feeling a sense of excitement. Not withstanding the exhilaration he was experiencing, he also felt trepidation following Doctor Mallard's assistant into Autopsy, fervently hoping that there wouldn't be any guests on the good doctor's examination table. Luckily, he was sitting at a desk completing a report when they entered the suite. He looked up on hearing the automatic doors engage, smiled and stood.

"Spenser my boy, it is a pleasure to see you once more. How is your esteemed grandfather?"

The young man who was skeletally thin with gangly arms and legs reminiscent of a stick insect, grinned engagingly. "Spenser Frederick II sends his best, Dr Mallard and says that the next time he's in town, he'll take you out to dinner. He said I was to be sure to ask you about the time you saved the Tongan King's prize sow from a breech birth during a hurricane."

"Ah yes that was quite an exciting night, but they refer to them as cyclones in that neck of the wood, lad not hurricanes. Come along Spenser, I've got a nice pot of Earl Grey steeping in my office, not to mention some excellent Scottish shortbread just waiting for you to sample. We can talk about the King's porcine breeding exploits while we partake of morning tea. Then it will be my honour to give you the full tour of NCIS."

The ME smiled at his autopsy assistant. "Mr Palmer, would you be so kind as to pop out to the pharmacy, that's drug store to you and get this prescription filled for Mother? I'm afraid I forgot to get her blood pressure medication yesterday. "

His young assistant beamed back at him, proud to be of service to the boss he looked up to so highly. "Sure Dr Mallard."

Jimmy took the proffered script and raced of on his errand, as Ducky led the young man who was the grandson of his good chum into his inner sanctum where his teapot and fine bone china cups and saucers awaited.

HRHRHRHRHR

Special Agent Tim McGee was combing through the file of yet another cold case. Petty Officer Jana Anderson had been abducted on her way home from the Norfolk Naval Base 12 years ago and was never seen again. Her bank accounts remained untouched and while her parents remained hopeful that she was still alive, in all reality they were probably only likely to find her body if they were extremely lucky. The case was well and truly cold or to be more accurate, frigid. He heard the elevator ping, before the cultured, dulcet tones of Ducky alerted the team to the fact that the medical examiner arrived in the bull pen with a blonde kid in tow. The boy was all arms and legs and was cadaver-like in appearance. His thinness and sallow complexion making him look like a cancer patient. As they draw closer, McGee saw the boy has scraggy facial hair that could hardly be described as a beard. He hardly looked old enough to have reached puberty.

Ducky cleared his throat before introducing his companion to Team Gibbs… well sans Tony who was off testifying in a court case. Jethro, Timothy, Ziva, I would like you to meet the grandson of a very old and dear friend. Dr Spenser Frederick Rolston IV these are my friends and colleagues, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs and his team, Timothy McGee and Ziva David our liaison from Mossad. Dr Rolston is considering a career in law enforcement and I promised his grandfather that I would show him around and answer his questions. Yet I was thinking as we visited Abigail, that it might be more educational if he could spend some time with a field agent. I know that it is a huge imposition Jethro, but I would be extremely grateful."

Gibbs looked at the kid. "You interested in field work, Rolston?"

"I'm keeping an open mind about it, Sir. Ready for a break from academia, perhaps get my hands dirty, some.

"Where'd ya go to school, Spenser?" Gibbs drawled.

"Um… Cal Tech."

Dr Rolston is being modest, Jethro. He has also attended MIT and Reed College and spent a semester at his grandfather's alma mater in England. He and I attended Eton together as lads then I was accepted into Edinburgh University to study medical science while Spenser the II went on to study law at Oxford. His grandson has just completed double doctoral dissertations in physics and computer science. He is a very, very bright young man."

"Well in that case Ducky, I suggest that McGee would be best placed to answer his questions, although obviously he can't be involved in any of our cases of course."

"Of course, Jethro. We can't have any cases contaminated but, Dr Rolston has security clearance by the Department of Defense. I understand from his grandfather that they have utilised his skills on several top secret projects."

He grinned at his long time friend and said, "Well, Spenser, I'll leave you in Timothy's capable hands for the rest of the day, then. Come and see me for afternoon tea and we'll catch up on the rest of the family news. I'm sure Timothy will want to take you somewhere for lunch."

McGee nodded, dazedly. "Sure Ducky, I'll take care of him." He smiled at the elderly doctor as he made his way back to his own domain.

_What just happened? Gibbs agreed to let a teenager watch the team today? How hinky is that and while on the subject of hinky, how the hell can he have a double PhD anyway? He doesn't even look old enough to drive yet. I think I've woken up in some alternative reality._

"McGee, are you gonna stand there with you mouth gaping all day? If you don't have anything better to do, I need a refill. Take Spenser with and don't be long." Gibbs barked, trying not to smirk.

HRHRHRHRHR

McGee sat at his computer, stabbing away at the keys with an unaccustomed ferocity while he silently seethed. He was trying hard to tune out the insipidly smug sound of the great Dr Spenser Frederick Rolston IV and failing woefully. The guy was really starting to grate on his nerves and he wished that Gibbs had never volunteered him to buddy up with the stupid jerk today. It wasn't like he wasn't busy or anything and he'd been looking forward to some peace and quiet with Tony away from the team.

It turned out that the kid wasn't as young as he looked. Spenser had informed him he was actually twenty two years old and despite Ducky's admonishment for Spenser not to be so modest, McGee reckoned the kid could well and truly do with a strong dose of humility. He was totally insufferable, constantly shoving his double PhD down Tim's throat all the time. It seemed that he was on a first name basis with all of McGee's favourite Professors at MIT and boasted that he'd been offered an Associate Professorship several times.

Well that is to say that he'd boasted that they'd offered the position several times, which he was also at pains to point out on numerous occasions, particularly when he'd seen the flicker of envy on McGee's face. Not that Tim was jealous or anything because he loved being a field agent and he was a great agent. Even Director Vance had said so and told him he was destined for a great things. But damn it, the kid was just so… so smug that he really wanted to Gibbs' slap him upside the head. He still couldn't believe how arrogant the little tool was. He recalled his disrespect when he'd tried to be polite and discuss Spenser's dissertation.

"_So, what did you do your dissertations on Spenser?"_

"_Nanotechnology and the second one were on Superstring and M Theories, Agent McGee."_

_Tim grinned. "Wow really? I wrote a thesis on String Theory, Spenser."_

"_Yeah... I read it as part of my research on obsolete theories that contributed to Superstring Theory Agent McGee." He smiled complacently. _

"_Are you kidding me? It was less than eight years ago. That hardly qualifies as obsolete!" he protested really wanted to wipe that smirk off the little jerk's dial._

"_When it comes to physics and especially quanitizing theories, it certainly is Agent McGee. You snooze you lose. It's a young person's game," he concluded clearly implying that Tim was over the hill and wouldn't be able to cut it anymore._

Then the first time, someone had called on Tim from one of the other teams to help speed up the search for a dirt-bag, like McGee was often called upon to do because of his mad computer skills, the little SOB couldn't keep his trap shut. He pushed him… yeah he physically manhandled him out of the chair because he said that McGee was too slow. Said he had been working on computer modelling that could help to speed up the search process, earning a ton of approval from Gibbs seeing as how he was such an impatient bastard, even at the best of times.

Suddenly instead of him being the computer 'go-to-guy' he was yesterday's trash, kicked to the curb while everyone was clamouring for Rolston to come and fix their stupid booboos. Even Abby who had been besotted with the nerd at first sight and wanted Gibbs to adopt him; was calling him down to her lab to help her speed up her 'babies' every five minutes. It was sickening!

McGee kept telling himself that it was just a few more hours. He could cope until then and the great Dr Spenser Rolston would be out of his hair. Good riddance, if he never saw him again he would be hugely happy. McGee just hoped that he didn't decide to come to work at NCIS.

HRHRHRHR

The object of all of Timothy McGee's angst, was heading to Autopsy after receiving his summons to come down and have afternoon team with his grandfather's old friend from Eton. _What did Spenser the II call him, now? Ah yes that was it. Ducky was his old school chum,_ he chuckled thinking that the Brits were delightfully quaint sometimes. He knew that Ducky would be eager to hear how he'd made out and as he entered the domain of the medical examiner, he hurried forward smiling a genuine on,e unlike the smug and smarmy one that he'd been subjecting Tim to all day.

As they sat together companionably drinking tea and munching on chocolate digestive biscuits, Ducky smiled mischievously. "So young Spenser, how goes Operation Badass?"

Spenser chuckled, "you know my mom would so tan my toosh if she saw the way I've been acting today Dr Mallard. Yet I have to say that although it is a bit of a struggle to act like a jumped up little git, it is rather fun, especially as it is all in a good cause. I can't understand people who act superior just because they happened to have been born with an intelligence quotient that is higher than average; it isn't like it is something that you have any control over. My parents taught me that it was a gift that I needed to be grateful for, not flaunt it or boast about it."

"So true my boy but your parents are exceptional people, who have managed to raise a remarkable young man who happened to be a child prodigy. That really is no mean feat to have done such a good job of keeping you so grounded and well adjusted. I take it that Timothy is not your biggest fan, Spenser?"

"Oh no, Dr Mallard, most definitely not. He can't wait to see the back of me. He keeps looking at his watch all the time like he's counting down the minutes to the end of the day."

"Well I must say I appreciate your assistance and I know that Jethro does too. Hopefully, one day young Timothy might thank you for today instead of cursing you. Why don't you allow me to take you out for dinner tonight by way of thanking you for your good deed and you can fill me in on all the gory details? I'd love to hear them."

"Well," Spenser grinned, "actually Dr Mallard, I really like to hang around tomorrow if you think it would be alright with Special Agent Gibbs? Ya see, although I loved helping out Grandfather's old chum, I kinda had an ulterior motive for coming here. I was hoping to meet Special Agent DiNozzo and talk to him. He called in today and I think Gibbs said he was coming in for a bit tomorrow, while court is recessed for lunch."

"May I ask why the interest in our Anthony?"

"Well one of the research programs I'm working on for DOD is to do with AI and analysing data. We were given a short list of people in law enforcement who were gifted investigators, who all shared a common trait of being non linear information processors. We were hoping that he'd agree to us conducting some brain scans to help figure out how he processes evidence. He's always refused all requests from researchers but I thought if I had a chance to met him and explain how useful it would be to law enforcement he might reconsider."

Ducky nodded. "Yes I see, although I'm not sure that Anthony would appreciate being on some list floating around the DOD identifying him as a potential target to be studied like some lab rat. You can try to explain it to him but Anthony has a phobia about doctors and anything that smacks of medical tests, so I wouldn't get your hopes up my boy."

The dapper doctor crossed to his desk and picked up his telephone, calling up to Gibbs desk. "Jethro, young Dr Rolston has expressed the desire to extend his stay with us for a second day if you have no objection? You don't, that's excellent news. Spenser says everything is going swimmingly."

He chuckled and hung up the receiver before smiling at the youngster standing before him. "Jethro says you're welcome to come back tomorrow. I'm sure Timothy will be excited that you can spend extra time with him." Ducky grinned mischievously.

HRHRHRHRHR

Gibbs hung up the phone and smiled inwardly before announcing, "Well it looks like Dr Rolston will be spending another day with us tomorrow, McGee."

McGee looked horrified as he leapt up and stalked across to his boss's desk. "Please don't make me look after him tomorrow Boss. Why can't Ziva babysit him instead of me?"

"Negative McGee, Ziva is going to be busy handling a small job for me tomorrow." He smiled as Ziva popped her head up at the mention of her name and gave Gibbs a questioning look."

Gibbs smirked and explained. "Someone I know asked me to evaluate a potential recruit for the CIA because of my unarmed combat training. She's coming tomorrow but I have to attend to some business unfortunately. I thought you could run her through her paces Ziver in the gym for me and give me your opinion?"

"I would be most happy to assist you Gibbs. It sounds like I would be better suited to the task than babysitting a mini McGee." Ziva smirked condescendingly at Tim; she really couldn't see why McGee was desperate to get out of spending time with Spenser. He seemed to be harmless enough, in a cute porky kind of way.

Ziva remembered how when she was back in Tel Aviv, one of the perks of being Eli David's daughter, was that she got to put all the new Mossad recruits through their paces and basically kick their butts. She was always particularly adept at testing the nettle of rookies and finding their Achilles tendons. She missed it and decided that she was really looking forward to assessing this wet behind the eyes recruit tomorrow.

She smiled her dangerous assassin smile, and asked. "What is the victim's name, Gibbs?"

"Don't you mean the new recruit, Ziva?" McGee snarked at her.

Ziva just smirked nastily and raised an eyebrow to Gibbs.

Gibbs smirked right back at her." Her name is Cara Simmons, Ziver. Don't go easy on her tomorrow."

"Do not worry Gibbs, I will not give her an easy ride, I can promise you that."

If there was one thing that got her hot and thorny, it was unarmed combat. The adrenaline, being up close and personal with some clueless pasty, it was just such a powerful narcotic to her. She sure hoped that Michael would be available tomorrow night to scratch her rash.

Next chapter: Lets get physical and reconnecting.


	33. Chapter 33

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Cara Simmons is mine and Doogie too :) The others sadly are not. If they were, Tony would be written consistent with his competent, yet flawed character as seen in the first four seasons, not as the buffoon he is mostly portrayed as lately.

A/N First off, this is quite a lengthy chapter but hopefully will make up for the brevity of the previous one. Second point, I had stated this was going to be the second last chapter in the story. I lied… well not intentionally. It's just that this chapter got away with me and I had to stop before I intended. Hopefully, the next chapter will be better behaved. lol

Thank you to everyone who alerted, faved or reviewed and I'm glad that so many of you liked Spenser. Thanks also to BuckeyGirl00000 for beta-ing this chapter and reading it so speedily. Hope you all enjoy this :)

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 33

Ziva had stared at this child before her, trying her hardest not to laugh at the thought of how the next few hours were going to play out. This was going to be such a piece of pie, it was almost a travesty. Simmons was small, no more that five foot three and her body was absent of womanly curves. She was blonde and grey eyed and looked like she should be dressed in a tutu and performing on stage at a ballet recital.

Oooush… all the air rushed out of her lungs as she hit the mat again.

Ziva had almost felt sorry for Cara Simmons when she had turned up at NCIS to undergo her trial by fire. Almost… but she closed off that thought immediately. Ziva had been trained by a ruthless father, and her Mossad training had also beaten the concept into her brain, that you could never afford to give your opponent the smallest advantage. If this child wanted to become a … ghost, then she needed to learn that lesson today and Ziva was looking forward to being her teacher. It had been far too long since she had had this much fun.

Ziva decided to begin with some basic unarmed combat techniques before moving onto various martial arts, ultimately finishing up the pretender's humiliation with the specialized form of combat training that Kidon used which separated Mossad from all the other intelligence services. Simmons wasn't going to be able to move without pain for a month and Ziva was expecting her to crawl away in tears by the time she'd finished her evaluation.

Wham… she landed after a particular vicious throw, her scapulas and coccyx taking most of the impact of the mat before her head followed a millisecond or so behind; she saw stars and almost blacked out momentarily. She forced herself to her feet and tried to mentally regroup while trying to anticipate when her ruthless opponent would strike next. She was also finding it distracting that they were gathering an audience but she tried to block them all out and focus on the protagonist who appeared intent on killing her. She seemed to have forgotten that this was just training.

Finally she managed to catch her unawares and hooked her leg behind her rival to throw her off balance with a karate move. She breathed a sigh of relief that she was finally able to gain the advantage, yet as she watched her young rival land on the mat, she seemed to bounce and contort in one smooth elegant movement before surprising her by coming up behind her and taking her down again… hard. So she attacked harder, and faster but no matter how many times she successfully managed to lay her enemy on the mat, she would twist, roll and come straight back at her, attacking from totally unexpected angles that defied any type of predictability. She used all six dimensions; up, down, left, right, in front and behind, in a way that her more seasoned adversary had never been trained for or had even imagined.

It was almost like some sort of deadly dance which couldn't be right because that would mean that the falls had all been feints and this was a concept she couldn't conceive of… wouldn't conceive of. Not now, not ever because that would mean admitting that someone else was superior to her in terms of unarmed combat skills. There was no way that she was inferior to some undisciplined American who was still a child. Ziva saw red as she sprang viciously at Simmons, desperate to show that her Mossad training along with her natural aptitude was superior to this challenger's lucky moves.

As Ziva made contact with the American, she noticed that a split second before, she was already flying backwards and found herself lying panting on the mat- again. The little bitch was anticipating all her moves so Ziva switched to jujitsu, then taekwondo and capoeira before resorting to her Kidon training including Krav Maga, confident that she would finally gained the upper hand and salvaged her pride and reputation. Ziva was shocked that she just grinned and continued to match her move for move before Cara seemed to finally decide to end the humiliation. In front of a crowd of NCIS agents, Cara Simmons took the Mossad Liaison Officer down one final time with some moves that Ziva had never ever encountered before.

When she finally lay beaten on the mats, unable to continue and bathed in sweat, she felt a primordial rage that she simply didn't know how to deal with. If she was not in a room full of witnesses, she would dispatch this insolent whelp for making her and by extension Mossad, look amateurish. This was unacceptable and she really hoped that word would not filter back to her father.

HRHRHRHRHR

Gibbs turned away from the security cameras of the unarmed combat 'assessment' that Ziva had undertaken for him, to exchange glances with his partners in crime, Tobias Fornell and Ducky. This particular scenario was one they'd hatched at his house over Chinese takeout and was working out so much better than their idea of assigning the pair to the FBI for a week long exchange program. That plan had been an unmitigated disaster! When Ziva bit the dust for the umpteenth time, winded and shocked to her core, Gibbs turned to Fornell.

"She's good Tobias, where'd you find her? She a graduate from the Prodigy Program?"

"Jethro; I told you before; there is NO Prodigy Program and it would be wiser if you got with the program and stopped saying there was."

Ducky frowned remembering a similar conversation that took place that night at Gibbs place and he was confused by the conversation then, as now.

"Gentlemen, what in Hades is the Prodigy Program?" he asked curiously.

"Gibbs rolled his eyes before answering. "There've been rumors floating round for years about a clandestine black ops program. S'pposed to be run by a rogue splinter group from the CIA or NSA and identifies child prodigies that have attributes that might make them good spooks. Scuttlebutt is that Prodigy is like a senior high or college that hothouses these kids and prepares them to be spies. But then there are the skeptics that brush it off as just another conspiracy theory ala the grassy knoll or Area 51," he finished sarcastically.

Ducky frowned, "oh myyyyyy. And Miss Simmons is part of Prodigy, Tobias?"

"No Ducky, there is no Prodigy Program. Cara is the daughter of a CIA mother and her Father worked for MI6. She was an Olympic gymnast and when she retired from the sport, she shifted to competing in Martial Arts where she has Black belts in a variety of disciplines. Her Mother is a trained assassin and both parents speak a heap of languages and dialects. I guess you could say that becoming a spy is in her DNA. She's already authored a booklet for new recruits showing them thirty six ways to kill with a paper clip that's become a best seller in the assassin world." Gibbs and Ducky stared at him incredulous, expecting that he was pulling their leg but he seemed entirely serious. He continued his narrative impassively, "while she looks like she is about twelve years old, she is almost twenty one. Simmons is certainly more than a match for Officer David," he concluded, unable to hide his smirk at the sight of Ziva lying spent and defeated on the mats of the NCIS gym.

He decided that it was fortunate that Cara Simmons real identity was skillfully hidden behind a myriad of false identities, because he guessed that she had been added to Ziva David's shit list too. They all watched as Ziva managed to regain her feet and she promptly took off, they presumed to lick her wounds in the showers, with hardly a backward glance at her younger opponent.

He glanced at Gibbs. "Someone needs to go and run interference for Cara. She's about to be mobbed by a bunch of adoring groupies. Seems like there aren't too many people crying over Ziva getting her ninja assassin butt whooped, so comprehensively."

"Ya think, Tobias? Gibbs looked at Ducky.

"Would ya mind retrieving her Ducky? I'm supposed to be busy and it would look suspicious if Fornell wandered down there."

"Ah Jethro, it would be my pleasure to meet and entertain this fascinating creature. Psychologically speaking, she must have an interesting developmental history, not that I approve of her being trained up like some prized fighting cock, much like our own Ms David of course," he concluded primly as he exited MTAC in search of his young charge.

HRHRHRHRHR

McGee quickly switched off the feed to the security footage of the gym. He had hacked in to try and distract himself from the annoyingly smug, supercilious conversation that was emanating from Super Nerd Boy's mouth this morning. He was being even more obnoxious than yesterday and had decided to torture Tim with an unceasing stream of questions concerning Tony of all people. Man as if he hadn't had enough of his conceited partner when Gibbs had made him lead on the Rennie Grant case last week.

Now Rolston was trying to torture him with the old death by a thousand cuts torture treatment. Seemingly not content with insinuating that he was past his use by date, or usurping his rightful place as computer guru extraordinaire, he had developed some weird obsession with McGee's partner whose claim to fame was that he'd been a cop. He barely knew how to turn on his computer and was fast approaching his expiry date in the new age of cyber law enforcement. Those damn questions kept reverberating round his brain, almost like that catchy but totally inane and crap pop song that you hear once and can't get out of your head…

_What was it like to work _under_ him...Did McGee know how he managed to find obscure clues...? How did he fit seemingly unconnected data together and find leads that others missed... Did he really have exceptional sensory perception...blah blah blah…?_

What was with this dweeb anyway? It sounded like he had a bromance happening with DiNozzo or something. Why would a genius like him be interested in Tony? It didn't make any sense.

So McGee decided to watch Ziva kick butt to take his mind of his miserable day. As the evaluation progressed and it became clear that the super ninja was going to get her butt well and truly handed to her on a platter, instead of her wiping the floor with the rookie as expected, he was focused entirely on the screen and didn't hear Spenser sneak up behind him.

"Wow man, that looks like... really, really serious."

McGee spun around to find Spenser, peering over his left shoulder, staring at the footage. Creepy guy! Tim didn't bother responding but yeah, they were both serious alright. Ziva was pissed, he could tell and shockingly, she was starting to lose her focus as her anger got the better of her. Man, who would have thought that little girl could more than match it with the unbeatable Ziva David?

McGee watched, transfixed as Ziva went down hard, again and finally just lay there, beaten. He smirked, noticing the unrestrained glee on many of the spectators faces as they relished the rare sight of the woman that habitual threatened their existence for the mildest of transgressions, being crushed and humiliated. Who knew that going around threatening to kill your co-workers with a paper clip would result in them cheering on your opponent and being ecstatic when your butt was kicked? He quickly switched off the footage from the gym so Ziva wouldn't catch him spying on her if she came up to the bull pen, although she had probably gone to the showers to cool off. Still, when dealing with a very pissed off Ziva David, he'd learnt that it was much wiser to be safe than sorry.

Oh boy, it should be real fun in the bull pen this afternoon. Ziva would likely try to kill him for sure as a pressure valve to relieve some of her fury, although perhaps if he played his cards right, he could get her to off the egotistical 'Dr I'm a grad of Cal Tech and Oxford' instead!

HRHRHRHR

Tony sat in the drab cell-like room deep inside the courthouse, typing away on his computer with a lightning quick speed that would flabbergast his teammates who teased him mercilessly about his painfully slow, one fingered technique. Of course, there were a few occasions where he slipped and revealed his true abilities when it came to touch typing but luckily no one had picked up on the rare lapses. Once they decided he was useless when it came to computers, his teammates seemed blind to anything that contradicted that notion. Psychologists called the phenomenon, cognitive dissonance and Tony was glad that the team wasn't all that observant, when it came to their senior field agent.

He did recall one time though, that Cate had almost caught him out. It had been during her first year on Team Gibbs, right before they'd caught the Sergeant Atlas case where Tony had ended up drugged and locked up in a sewer with one rotting corpse and the Marine sergeant. By then, Atlas had been a half dead corpse that Tony had ultimately saved, after a psychotic waitress spiked their drinks before abducting them and leaving them trapped in the underbelly of the city's sewer tunnels.

Even though it was over four years ago, Tony had to ruthlessly push aside the memories from that night. The shame at being so easily abducted, the stench of death that had taken months to dissipate as if it had somehow burned itself into each and every cell in his body, the terror that he wouldn't be able to save the Marine and would lose any vestiges of respect that Gibbs might have still harbored for him after screwing up such a simple surveillance job. He still recalled the terror that his father's prediction might yet prove to be prophetic and then the unbelievable rush when it had ended with the suspect apprehended and one half dead Marine safe in a warm hospital bed.

He brutally erected a steel box to trap the painful and embarrassing memories of what had transpired after they'd arrived back at NCIS, and tried to lock them away… deep, deep down where he wouldn't have to deal with the relief and then all too soon the terrible emptiness that he felt as the adrenaline and other stress hormones plummeted and left him feeling even more insecure and needy than he normally did. It also left his self censoring ability almost nonexistent which led to that utterly cringe-worthy, pathetic performance in the elevator. Oh god, he'd begged and pleaded with his boss to tell him that he was worried about him, that he'd missed him. To reassure him that he had mattered to…someone.

_Could you get any more pathetic there, Anthony? Well yeah DiNozzo… when you couldn't control the mad euphoria after Gibbs said you're irreplaceable, right before he told McGee that he couldn't have your desk cuz you were still alive. Just remembering that cruel jibe sent a razor sharp knife-like pain straight down the middle of his chest and he couldn't breathe. Focus on something else you moron; pack it away in the steel box for good. When are you ever gonna stop giving away the power to crush you so bad with a few careless words Anthony? Should have learnt after growing up with Senior but I guess you're a slow learner… or a masochist. _

Put it away! What was it you were thinking about before …that thing you're not gonna think about? Oh yeah…Cate almost catching him out touch typing. How she had made some comment about his two handed technique and he'd unthinkingly joked about getting tuition before wanting to bite out his tongue. He should have distracted her with some inappropriate off-colour remark heavy with innuendo bout sex or jacking off and using both hands. It would have closed her down right away since she was such a prude, his dear Catie.

Instead, he blurted out something dumb that sent her bolting out of her chair and she'd stalked towards his desk, almost catching him off guard, wanting to see what he was typing. He'd just had time to shut down the window displaying his case report and switch to some puerile video game. A tactic which had resulted in a pissed off boss and allowed Cate to score points with that comment about him wanting to get his ears pierced. It had gotten the former secret service agent off his case though.

His cell phone chirped, letting him know he had a text. It was Jimmy.

T sending you live feed on yr laptop.

Enjoy :)

Black Lung.

Tony grinned, wondering what was so important that Palmer would send him a live feed. His innate curiosity won out over caution, as he opened up the feed before he thought too long about the wisdom of doing so. He just hoped that Jimmy hadn't sent him anything inappropriate because with his luck, a bailiff would probably walk in right in the middle of it. He did need to uphold certain standards of behaviour as a law enforcement professional. He scanned the video, quickly realizing it was Ziva and she was sparring with a little girl in the NCIS gym.

Well maybe that was being charitable. Ziva was actually being comprehensively routed, soundly thrashed, having her butt kicked black and blue. Pick one… any one … or all of the above.

That young kid was wiping the floor with Ms David and it was lucky Ziva was currently unarmed or the MCRT would be investigating a homicide committed by one of their own right about now. Tony could see the crowd that had gathered, as the NCIS grape vine worked overtime, alerting the vultures to the looming carnage. It seemed like they could smell imminent blood letting and wanted to bear witness to Officer David's humiliation.

It looked as if the assessment of the kid's unarmed combat skills wasn't going to pan out quite the way Ziva would have anticipated. While he knew that Ziva was way too arrogant, not to mention smugly complacent about her ninja super assassin skills, which was dangerous, a tiny part of him couldn't help feeling sorry that her humiliation was so public. She would be absolutely mortified. Tony hoped the rookie slept with a gun under her pillow because a pissed off Ziva was your worst nightmare. She was ruthless when crossed.

Tony reached for his phone and sent a text message to his friend.

_Thnx 4 vid Black Lung. _

_Stay away from Widow Woman 2day. _

_B careful ;)_

_T_

He smiled, thinking about how he was stuck here at the court house waiting to testify and couldn't even watch the proceedings until he had completed his testimony. Nor was he permitted to interact with the other witnesses in the case and he was bored out of his skull but Jimmy was looking out for him, like the good friend he was and keeping him apprised of what was going down. Yesterday, he'd sent him a stream of texts keeping him up to date on Ducky's visitor. According to the Autopsy Gremlin, he was a Doggie Howser MD but with a PhD and yet another computer geek (oh joy) who was more than a match for McFreak.

Palmer reckoned that he was annoying the crap out of Probie and he was busy whining to Jimmy because the Boss made him Doogie's minder and he was gonna stay another day to 'observe.' Tony was going to head back in to the office today just so he'd get a chance to meet him and watch the fun for a bit. The prospect of watching the Probster squirm was incentive enough to stop him climbing the walls but he couldn't help the occasional bounce or two off them, just to relieve the tension and boredom.

The luncheon recess couldn't come soon enough, as far as he was concerned. Especially since Palmer's last text message that warned him that Dr Spenser Fredrick Rolston IV had been quizzing people about him. Since he wouldn't know Doogie if he fell over him, Tony found it just a bit creepy that the boy genius obviously knew about him. Time to do a bit of subtle investigation, he concluded.

HRHRHRHRHR

Okay now that was totally unexpected, Tony thought as Doogie cornered him in the bull pen with all the finesse of a horny teenager, trying to persuade his date to climb over into the back seat and get naked. Part of him watched on, amused as McMIT and a seething Officer David gawped, gob smacked as Ducky was wont to say, as Dr Rolston waxed lyrical about his latest project with the DOD and his involvement. The senior field agent scowled fiercely before rapidly masking his anger, as Spenser tried to persuade him to let the eggheads mess around studying his brain.

Now that was just too creepy to contemplate! Perhaps even more disturbing though was that there was a list, which he was on, that identified him as a freak and he definitely didn't like that. He'd spent a fair bit of energy, deliberately underperforming on intelligence tests and exams ever since he'd spent several uncomfortable weeks being prodded and poked by pediatricians as a kid, when they decided he was hyperactive; the old diagnose for ADHD. Instead of confirming the initial diagnosis, they'd finally identified him as 'gifted' and wanted to accelerate his learning while some strange professor had convinced his mother to enroll him in his research project. He'd had his brain scanned way too much by the nerdy researcher and the thought of voluntarily surrendering to all that crap again, was too much.

After his mother died and he got shipped to boarding school he'd gotten smart, dumbed himself down to keep off everyone's radar and been left in peace. No way was he going to let anyone screw around in his head again. Yet here was Doogie telling him that he was back on the radar of not just some nerdy academics, but had caught the attention of the freaking Department of Defence who it had seemed had dragged up his old medical records with his IQ scores and brain scans. Obviously heard of patient confidentiality, NOT!

If he was a conspiracy nut like Abbs, he'd be worried about some black ops program snatching him and turning him into a glorified lab rat. Still it was definitely disturbing that he'd been singled out just because of his solve rate and knack for solving cold cases._ Note to self, stop doing such a bang up job, Anthony. Yeah, like that's an option when you've got L.J. Gibbs as a boss breathing down your neck,_ he snorted.

Tony noticed that Doogie had stopped his impassioned explanation of why it was absolutely crucial to the fate of law enforcement, not to mention the future of mankind, _wee_ _bit over the top, doncha think Doogie,_ that they get a chance to study his brain. He glanced at the rest of the team; Gibbs was poker faced as per normal, while Ziva was looking shell shocked, probably wondering how she missed all the stuff about his giftedness and accelerated learning programs when she complied her intelligence files on the team for her half brother. McStunned was just sitting, with his mouth agape. Tony ignored his teammates; he'd deal with any fallout later.

He smiled extra sweetly, and he saw Gibbs narrowing his eyes as he studied him with his cobra-like stare. "Sorry, Dr Rolston, no can do I'm afraid. Ever since nearly dying of a medieval disease, 'fraid it left me with a mother of all phobia for needles, white lab coats, MRIs, X-rays and CT Scans. And well don't get me started on Doctors, Spenser," he grinned.

"Just the mention of one, makes me break out in a rash," he admitted confidingly which wasn't exactly a lie, just not the full truth. "But ya know, I think that the significance of my brain may have been greatly exaggerated," he stated shooting a glance at his suspicious teammates. "Definitely not missing much, right Probie, Ziva? Boss'll tell ya that he has to smack me upside the head a dozen times a day to reboot my wiring and get me to focus."

Dr Spenser Frederick Rolston IV turned to the team leader, outraged. "You hit him on the head? You know how potentially damaging and dangerous that is? Not to mention highly illegal. What's wrong with you people, he doesn't need to focus, his lack of focus is what allows him to think outside the box, you moron."

He stalked off, leaving three of team Gibbs' stunned mullets, while the fourth grinned triumphantly; his default technique of distraction once again diverting attention away from his private business.

HRHRHRHR

The next day, Gibbs watched as Ziva exited the elevator, moving carefully. He grinned inwardly; knowing she had to be hurting pretty bad right now but there was no way that Ziva would ever show it. He also observed that she was wearing a fair bit of heavy foundation, something that was not typical of the Mossad officer. He guessed she was attempting to conceal some pretty spectacular bruising and he also noticed the long sleeved T-shirt she was wearing too.

Normally, Ziva didn't seem to be bothered overly by any contusions and lacerations incurred in the course of her duties. In fact, she usually wore such injuries as a badge of honor but obviously she was embarrassed by the manner in which she had acquired her bruises. It must have been a bitter pill for her to swallow. He saw McGee alight from the stairwell, a spring in his step as he contemplated a day free from Dr Rolston.

Gibbs waited until they were both situated at their desks and in the process of firing up their computers, before he picked up two files and stalked towards the break room, flinging over his shoulder, a barked command.

"With me!"

Once there, he glared at the Probie and junior field agent from Agent Balboa's team until they quickly aborted their conversation and frantically grabbed up their coffees and fled. Smirking, the team leader tossed two files on the table and motioned his junior agent and liaison officer to take a seat.

"I have to direct an operation that's need to know and so I've decided to earn us some brownie points with 'The Powers That Be' and at the same time, give you both some leadership opportunities. If you both perform to expectations, I'm sure that the Director could be persuaded to make mention on your personnel file.

McGee, I have a request from the State Department, for some agents to come and inventory all of the illicit cultural artifacts smuggled back to the US by service personnel. It's the six monthly stock take, ID and catalogue, prior to shipping the artifacts back to the country of origin. I've assigned two probationary agents that have just graduated from FLETC to assist ya. They need a little breaking in. Think yur up for the task, Elf Lord?"

McGee was all puffed up at the prospect of taking point on a task with some green probies to lead, although something seemed to be bothering him.

"Gotta a problem, McGee?"

"Umm… who will I be reporting to at State, Boss?" McGee asked querulously.

"It seems the Secretary of State is taking a personal interest in this case, McGee. Ya report direct to the top on this one."

The junior agent nodded, seemingly relieved, before brightening up at the prospect of earning brownie points with Director Vance to make up for the fiasco with Agent Sacks.

"Ziva, you are going to supervise some hostage training scenarios and the FBI is lending us their training facilities at Quantico. Some of the Probies could do with some intensive training and I thought you'd be up for it?"

Ziva nodded pleased. No doubt looking forward to imparting a little pain upon the helpless probies and salvaging some face saving after her fall from grace yesterday.

Next chapter: Those dang probies and "you said what, Special Agent?"


	34. Chapter 34

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not mine...

A/N Once again, huge thanks to BuckeyeGirl00000 for beta-ing this chapter. Post tinkering errors by me are my bad. Also once again I want to thank everyone who had reviewed, alerted and favourited HR. I would love to hear from all of those people who are lurkers out there too.

Now on another note, once again I find myself having to apologise since I stated that this chapter was going to be the penultimate one but it seems that I have lied, although in my defense it was the lack of cooperation of the chapter which drove me to it. Seriously, I tried to condense everything into a single chapter and struggled mightily in writing this one but I also didn't want to give less than my best either, so I decided to accept that another chapter was required to do justice to the story. So... this time I'm not making any promises about the next chapter being the penultimate one although I remain hopeful lol.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 34

Gibbs sat at the conference table along with his two junior agents and his ubiquitous outsized cup of coffee, its aroma permeating the room as he regarded the two agents trying not to squirm under his gaze. Knowing he was making them both uncomfortable, although Ziva was much more adept at disguising it than her colleague, he continued to regard them in much the same way that a predator might eye its prey, prior to striking. He stayed silent, waiting for one of them to break and was not surprised that it was Tim.

"Where's Tony? Is he gonna join us Boss?" McGee briefly made eye contact with his boss before quickly looking down submissively.

"Nope," was the one word response, offering no further clue as to what they were doing in the conference room.

McGee stole a glance at the Israeli liaison officer who was seemingly impassive although Gibbs could detect several subtle tells that let him know that Ziva was also uncomfortable with the situation. After letting the tension build to an almost unbearable crescendo that had Tim fidgeting like a child wanting to pee, the supervisory agent finally cleared his throat, before starting the inquisition.

"As you're no doubt aware, it's that time of the year - time for your quarterly job appraisals - but before I get to that, I wanted a sit rep from both of ya about how your teams performed and how you would rate your own performance as leaders. Who wants to kick off?"

HRHRHRHR

McGee swallowed convulsively. He's mind flashed back to the last few days as he lead his team of newly minted probies as they carried out what seemed to be a simple task of collating and identifying illegally smuggled cultural artifacts that had found their way back into the US from places where US Naval and Marine Corps were serving.

These two probies that had been assigned to him were eager beavers, virginals fresh from their graduation from Federal Law Enforcement Training Centre. Maybe too eager and they had that bright shiny appearance as well as an arrogance that was slightly irritating and yet endearing, McGee thought patronizingly as he found himself regarding them almost paternally. _Wow head rush,_ he mused.

Jamie Smythe smiled at McGee as she introduced herself, although it seemed like a generic somewhat fake sort of smile that didn't actually reach her eyes. She was best described as being conventionally pretty in a totally forgettable way, he decided. The type of appearance that should she ever have occasion to engage in felonious activities, a witness would be hard placed to describe her appearance in any detail apart from the most generic of descriptors. Her mid-brown hair was straight and shoulder length and her brown eyes were deep honey-brown but hardly memorable. Her features were all extremely regular and therefore not terribly memorable.

Her colleague Kirk Riley was tall, rather lanky with sandy brown hair and pale blue eyes and had a rather supercilious smile but McGee decided that maybe it was a nervous habit or something. He was probably just nervous about being sent out on his first assignment and was possibly a little overawed to be in the presence of one the mighty MCRT. McGee noticed that although Riley was lean and long limbed, he had good muscle definition that bespoke of someone who spent serious time working out. He really hoped the guy wasn't a jock because he got enough of that mentality with Tony.

McGee had decided to give the probies a pre mission briefing before heading over to the warehouse where the seized artifacts had been stored. While some of the items had been seized in the possession of military personnel or contractors working for the Navy or Marine Corps, and had already been identified and logged in as evidence in subsequent disciplinary proceedings, much of the smuggled booty had been discovered onboard ships returning from deployments. In such cases, the perpetrators of this cultural thuggery had often eluded detection or there wasn't enough evidence to prove that they had been responsible for the smuggling.

McGee decided that the précis that he had prepared some years ago, for a case they'd been working on with the State Department where they were trying to locate a shipping crate full of priceless cultural artifacts from Iran, would be an excellent and pertinent introduction to help get the probies up to speed. Tim congratulated himself that he had the foresight to file away all his research and presentations in case they could be recycled. In this case, he'd never actually gotten to deliver his mini lecture as the Assistant Secretary of State had attended the same school as his boss; the 'cut to the chase and stop wasting my precious and breathing the same air as me' vibe which was irritating but he'd become accustomed to it over the years thanks to Gibbs. When it came to dealing with Gibbs there was really no other choice; it was like it or lump it!

When Gibbs had informed him he'd be working with the State Department again, McGee had experienced a moment of utter panic, remembering how whilst following Gibbs instructions, he'd told the Assistant Secretary of State to "stick it," before cutting off her transmission in MTAC. Obviously there had been a heated exchange of phone calls and emails before Director Morrow had delivered a stern verbal rebuke to Gibbs and a much milder one to McGee, since he had merely been following orders. Tim had had nightmares regularly for months, after telling Anna Elliot where to go and would wake up unable to breathe. He'd never been able to stand up to domineering women; including Ziva and their own sweet dark angel Abby, who could wipe the floor with him or get him to spill his guts with a look in Ziva's case or a punch to the biceps, in Abby's.

He wasn't sure exactly why he was such a push over around women, because his mother and sister, while spirited, certainly weren't the domineering, bullying types. That role was well and truly filled by his father who was the archetypal Admiral, even when it came to interacting with his wife and children. Unfortunately, Tim who was the antithesis of macho, alpha maleness, and into all things cerebral and dorky, never felt that his father got him and was more often than not, disappointed with his elder child. Even his choice of career was a source of disharmony between father and son, as he'd expected Tim to enlist in the navy and follow in his father's footsteps. Yet, over his years on Gibbs team, he'd learnt not to shuffle, stutter or break eye contact with the Alpha of all Alpha males when Gibbs was on a tear.

Yet he was still a bowl of gelatinous gloop when it came to women who possessed an iota of iron. His therapist had posited that spending so much of his formative years in the presence of his iron- willed Grandmother Penny, who was more like his father in temperament and personality than she would ever acknowledge, may well have contributed. Factor in a passive aggressive temperament and his avoidance during childhood of anything, requiring him to engage in social interaction with his peer mates which in turn left him totally ill prepared to deal with women, even mildly assertive ones as an adult. He felt relieved to know, that at the very least he wouldn't have to deal with Ms. Elliot, who had become the specter of so many of his bad dreams. After his initial panic he realized that with a change of administration, a changing of the guard re staff would have occurred and he'd be dealing with Secretary Jacobsen. Why he was taking such a personal interest in this task was a bit surprising though.

As he proceeded to deliver his lecture, Tim could tell the probies were getting bored which was frustrating because he'd even dredged up his multi media presentation, not just his notes to try and make it a bit more engaging. _Philistines, _he mentally labeled the probies. They should still be accustomed to lectures yet there was Riley and Smythe rolling their eyes and sniggering behind his back. Man this pair were really arrogant snotty nosed little pratts. You'd think they'd be excited to get their first assignment as fully fledged probationary special agents and grateful to learn from his experience.

He rounded off the briefing before tossing Smythe the keys to the sedan he'd requisitioned for the duration of their assignment, telling her to make sure it was gassed and good to go then ordered the probies to meet him out front. They had to make a detour to the State Department because apparently, the Secretary of State wanted to speak to them in person. Gibbs hadn't been exaggerating when he'd told Tim that the Secretary was going to be taking a personal interest in this inventory. Oh well, he'd never had anything to do with the current Secretary but he seemed like an okay sort of guy.

Maybe he'd heard about McGee's cyber skills and wanted to offer him a job and that was the real reason for the summons because really, the job was really a pretty routine, if necessary one. Still, Penny and his Dad had always emphasized the importance of networking when it came to career advancement and it couldn't hurt to cozy up to the Secretary of State. His Dad was always banging on about him securing the Director's chair and McGee wasn't so naïve not to recognize that his talent alone wasn't going to get him the gig. It was also a question of who you know and what you can do, for those you know. Professional back scratching was the way the game was played, which was why Gibbs was stuck as a supervisory special agent and fast approaching mandatory retirement. He would never agree to be a back scratcher and his career was stalled as a result.

As he waited with his probies in the outer office of the Secretary's office, McGee automatically straightened his silk tie and adjusted his shirt cuffs before smoothing down the somewhat rumpled Armani suit jacket. While Tony could be really irritating at times, Tim had picked up some valuable pointers on how to dress for success and with the royalties from his books he'd been able to dress like a man that was going places. He'd even managed to emulate the DiNozzo swagger he concluded smugly.

The perfectly poised and polished personal assistant announced that the Secretary of State would see them now and that they could go in. McGee thanked her politely before gesturing to his probies to follow him inside. The moment he entered the room, he realized there was something wrong with the picture. Secretary Jacobsen was nowhere to be seen and there was a tall, spare woman dressed in a vermillion red power suit standing with her back to the NCIS agents, looking out the spacious window. Tim's gut started to churn when a familiar voice instructed them to take a seat.

As she turned around to regard the agents gravely, McGee's protesting stomach almost made an appearance all over his ridiculously expensive Ferragamo leather shoes as bile and his breakfast threatened to embarrass him in front of Anna Elliot, the specter of so many of his dreams. This had to be a nightmare, surely?

"Probationary Special Agents Riley and Smythe, it's nice to meet you, Special Agent McGee, we meet again," Anna Elliot purred, a malicious gleam to her eyes.

"Umm… err…w...we... um that is to s…say… um I was expecting ttto… meet with…. Sec…Secretary Jacobsen," McGee stuttered feeling a full blown panic attack in the offing.

"Yes well unfortunately, Secretary Jacobson had a myocardial infarct and he required triple by-pass surgery and is currently on sick leave for the next two months. I have been appointed Acting Secretary of State in the interim and no doubt you will recall how strongly I feel about the appropriation of another country's cultural artifacts and relics by rogue Americans. And as Special agent McGee no doubt remembers, I am a very hands on supervisor. "

She smiled at McGee showing off her teeth, which were small, very white and reminded him a Piranha although in his dreams they were a lot larger. Oh crap! He was so dead and he couldn't even string coherent words together to form a sentence and even worse, his probies where sniggering, yep actually sniggering at his blathering state and not even bothering to hide it. How was he going to get through the next couple of days? Dante's Inferno was surely Disneyland by comparison.

HRHRHRHR

_Oh crap! What had Gibbs heard? What had Smythe and Riley been saying about him? Was it karma bitch slapping him for giving Tony a bit of grief when he'd been Team Leader and Gibbs had left them all behind with his paltry and sardonic Sempre Fi farewell speech, and he'd been so smugly sure that he was a much better agent, a much better leader than Tony could ever be? His life totally sucked and he wished he really was Agent McGregor because he would never land himself into such a pile of poo._

Tim knew that Gibbs was watching him intently, expecting him to say something. But hell…what?

"Um… our task was completed… within acceptable time parameters. I…umm had the probies collate crew lists… to ahm…see if we could identify any POI…and we managed to identify s…several priceless religious relics." Well it was actually Smythe that had done that particular bit of heavy lifting but still they had been a team and there was no I in team, after all.

Gibb's smirked, "Is that so McGee? Good job. How would you rate your own performance as team leader?"

Tim was dismayed that Gibbs hadn't forgotten about that particular issue. Realistically, he knew that Gibbs was like a heat seeking guided missile when it came to zeroing in on stuff that you wanted swept under the carpet, so he really shouldn't be surprised. He wondered though, if Gibbs had known from the outset that he'd have to work under Anna Elliot and chose not to reveal it? Did the all knowing Gibbs even realize how much food he puked up following that particular episode in the Multi Threat Assessment Centre following his telling her 'to stick it' or how many nights she appeared in his dreams? Spending way too many hours with DiNozzo had obviously left their mark because most of the time, in his dreams, she'd taken the form of a vampire with scary fangs and an unrelenting goal of using them to turn him into a eunuch.

Oh course Gibbs couldn't have any idea of the effect that Anna Elliot would have on him; he would never hyperventilate in the presence of a politician or a woman. He would never crumble like McGee had done, allow her to take over the lead and order him around like a probie. He'd seen how Gibbs had stood his ground with Director Shepard, never giving an inch and coming out triumphant, while leaving Shepard with egg on her face and revenge in her heart but Gibbs never wavered or avoided confronting her when required to get the job done. His probie's had lost what little respect that they had for him, if indeed they had any in the first place as the Acting Secretary of State took over what was a piddling little assignment and made it clear that he wasn't capable of leading. She'd fawned over the probies especially Smythe and encouraged her to use her initiative, which was just polite way of telling her to ignore him. Turns out she shone at that skill.

McGee sighed, deciding to just get it over and done with. "Well Boss, apart from letting the Acting Secretary completely emasculate me and encourage my subordinates to ignore my directives, I'd say that that I was a great leader. I prepared an effective briefing, my directives were clear and well considered and I used praise judiciously to motivate my team, but despite my efforts, they were dismissive, noncompliant and wouldn't listen to my suggestions. Not sure how they managed to get hired by NCIS, quite frankly."

Ziva David interjected, confused. "I am afraid I do not understand McGee. Why should this woman wish to set you free? Did she not have a job for you and your team?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes, spluttering while McGee looked distinctly out of sorts. "Not emancipated Ziva emasculated… means castrated or made weak. Gibbs choked as he heard McGee mutter under his breath "_crazy assed ninja."_

Gibbs listened to the rant, expressionless although the tiniest of lip curls on the right hand side of his face was evidence that he was inwardly amused. He kept his features impassive while he replied.

"So I guess ya learnt that it isn't 'nuff be a competent agent in order to lead a team. If you don't have the support of your teammates, if they undermine you're efforts, or the higher ups don't have you'r six it can be a real bitch. I hope ya think bout that and take it on board McGee," he finished giving McGee the death stare.

MaGee wasn't sure what he was supposed to take away from being treated like crap by Anna Elliot and the probies. He steeled himself, taking a deep breath, needing to ask the question that had been bothering him for days.

"Boss did you know that Secretary Jacobsen was on sick leave and Anna Elliot was acting Secretary of State?"

"Yep," was the monosyllabic response.

"Why didn't you tell me when I asked you?"

"Cuz you didn't ask the right question McGee. Thought I'd taught ya better than that. To get to the truth, you've gotta ask the right questions. What you really wanted to know was would you be working with Elliot but ya didn't ask me that. Next time you'll remember to be specific. Its kinda 101 of interrogation techniques, Elf Lord."

"Yes Boss, ah Boss… how come Elliot is still with State? I mean we have a new administration so how come she kept her job?" McGee demanded, determined to ask the right questions this time even if it was too late.

Gibbs looked into the chagrined computer geek's eyes and gave a sardonic smirk. "Cuz McGee, I'm not the only one that knows where the bodies are buried. Her family is old school, extremely well heeled and with influence on both sides of the politic divide and they are too afraid of crossing her. Word on the hill is that she has a memory like an elephant."

_Terrific, that's just freakin wonderful. Way to go Gibbs, could you choose a better way to derail my ambition to sit in the director's chair if you tried? Thanks a whole bunch!_

HRHRHRHR

"So Ziver, I guess it's your turn to share. How did ya go with your probies and the terrorist hostage-takers?"

"These Probationary Agents were useless Gibbs. They are beyond training. They could not follow instructions, ignored my orders, flew off the mantle when things got tacky and showed poor control of their emotions. They refused to work together as a team and kept going off half dicked like a bunch of cowgirls. I do not understand how they were able to graduate from FLECT at all. They would not slice it in Mossad," she finished indignantly, her eyes flashing with the realization that Gibbs was laughing at her.

Gibbs really was trying hard not to laugh but was finding it a losing the battle. Every complaint she had leveled against the probies she was supposed to be training in hostage rescue techniques, could just as easily be leveled against her in various situations over the years spent on his team. As much as she was a trained assassin, she was not good at playing well with others and as he'd belatedly seen, had little regard for the chain of command except when it suited her purposes. Yet she was oblivious to the irony that she had managed to advance in Mossad with many of the self same qualities that she had accused her probies of, so they couldn't be that damned fussy.

Ziva, apart from her astounding lack of insight; was also quite clueless that her team of probies had been handpicked by Ducky using his profiling skills, in the hope that she would learn from seeing her own deficiencies mirrored in others. The probies chosen for this exercise, in Ducky-speak all exhibited marked degrees of reactivity, poor impulse control and were singularly lacking in insight. In Gibbs-speak it meant that they over reacted, had hair triggers, couldn't be trusted to have their partner's six and were too damned stubborn to learn from their mistakes. In shorthand, they needed a boot up the butt accompanied by head slaps, regularly.

"So Ziver, scuttlebutt at Quantico is that your team had ten trials to free the hostages. How many times did you actually manage to free them?" Gibbs asked although he already knew the answer to the question. One of his rules of interrogation!

The Israeli liaison grimaced before replying. "The team of probies failed to obtain the hostages' release Gibbs."

He noticed that Ziva had avoided use of the pronouns I, we or us. Clearly she was not going to accept responsibility for the team that she had led.

"Okay, so there must have been some improvement after each successive trial, right? Saving at least some of the hostages, getting further into the building and taking down some of the dirt-bags, improving on the number or severity of hits taken by the team or hostages, surely Ziva?" he pressed.

The former assassin shook her head disgustedly. "Those boffins were beyond useless, unsalvageable. I recommend that they be terminated because they are dead timber."

"I see, Ziver. So apart from your team of incompetents, how would you rate your performance as their leader?" Gibbs inquired curiously.

"Well I managed to kill every terrorist that I took aim at and I managed to evade capture, injury or death in each of the ten trial scenarios Gibbs, despite the inept personnel I was given to work with, so I would have to give myself a grade of exceptional I believe," Ziva stated seriously.

She didn't seem to understand that as team leader, it didn't matter how exemplary her individual actions where, if she couldn't lead her team effectively and inspire and motivate them to strive for excellence and to improve their performance. Ziva refused to accept responsibility for her team, not seemingly concerned that if anything, a statistical analysis of the teams performance over the ten scenarios showed that they not only didn't improve, they actually got progressively worse and the egg heads had assured him that the decrease in performance was not an anomaly, that the decline was indeed statistically significant even when variance had been controlled for, _whatever the hell that meant. _Gibbs figured that what the geeks were trying to say was that Ziva was a crap team leader.

He stared at the woman who had somehow worked her way past his defenses with such ease over the years. "While I am gratified that your individual performance was excellent Officer David, it doesn't reflect in your performance as a team leader. The fact remains that in spite of your experience with this particular scenario, you were unable to impart this proficiency onto your team or shape the probies into a coherent team that learnt from their mistakes and then rectified them. Have to say that in my book, you earned yourself an F!

"Now I want you both to go back to your desks and write an appraisal of your performance as temporary team leaders and bear in mind that I will also have the appraisals of your teams too. We meet back here at 1400 to discuss your last quarterly appraisals. Any questions?" he asked giving them the look. "Good then what are ya waiting for?" he growled in his 'not- a- poppa-bear' but 'poke-the-bear-at-your-own-dumbassed –risk- if –you- want- your –forearm- chewed- off' growl.

Next Chapter: Home truths and introspection


	35. Chapter 35

Rating: T

Disclosure: Not mine, not making money outta them.

A/N As usual, I need to thank BuckeyeGirl0000 for her generous assistance in Betai-ing this chapter. Thanks too to her for pulling me up on an Aussie idiom, getting as bad as Ziva lol. I've said it before but I'm going to say it again. Thanks to everybody that took the time to leave me a review or faved and alerted. As I still have limited internet access so I haven't been able to respond to individually to reviewers and I'm really sorry about that but I do appreciate every single one of them.

Now I know I've been saying this for a while, but this is unequivocally the penultimate chapter of Halloween Remembrance. The last chapter is going to be a little large but I don't want to break it up. One final point before I leave you to read this chapter. I asked readers earlier in the story, if you wanted to know who was the anonymous author of the Thom E. Gemcity fake chapter detailing McGregor's week at the FBI. I only received 2 responses and both were affirmative. So last chance, let me know if you want to know or no before I post the final chapter.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 35

Special Agent Timothy McGee and Mossad Officer Ziva David sat side by side in the conference room as ordered, awaiting their boss to join them. Meanwhile they were cooling their heels and no doubt wondering why he had chosen this venue to go through their quarterly performance appraisals instead of the bull pen as was the normal protocol on Team Gibbs. Other questions probably dogging them were why Tony wasn't joining the team meeting and why they weren't doing this, one on one with Gibbs, like they usually did. Anything that was out of the ordinary was a likely cause for concern for them both and they felt a sense of nervous anticipation wash over them as Gibbs arrived with two thick files under his arm. This situation was unprecedented and it was making them nervous although Ziva was less obvious in displaying her anxiousness.

He sat down; setting the files and his omnipresent caffeine fix disguised as a hot Starbucks beverage onto the table and regarded the junior members of Team Gibbs implacably. It was time to make a few things crystal clear to these two agents who he had come to regard as more than just his agents. He hardened his heart, especially to Ziva who seemed to bring out all his thwarted paternal longing but without any of the denial or conflicted emotions accompanying the relationship that had begun when he'd first encountered DiNozzo.

He'd been compelled to drag the fiercely independent, distrusting, downright prickly and enigmatic Baltimore detective back to DC because he knew instantly that he'd watch Gibbs' six, whatever it took and that Tony would temper his own excesses too. That he'd be the yin to his yang yet he'd had no intention of letting said detective through the impenetrable defenses that had guarded him from any further emotional entanglements for fifteen years. Not even his three palely shaded Shannon clones or anyone else had managed to worm past his tough carapace that protected him from people inflicting further grief and pain. Then DiNozzo waltzed his way into his embittered heart without even trying, damn him, and said organ had begun to breathe once more, to want to reach out, wanting and needing to connect with something corporeal again, instead of the ghostly phantasms that had been his constant companions for far too long.

What Jethro had never realized until just a few weeks ago, was that he had done a similar number on his second in command but in Tony's case, opening up his heart and trusting his bastard of a boss had probably caused him more harm than comfort, on more than one occasion. He'd always had the ability to read DiNozzo better than almost anyone else and that also gave him an unfair advantage when it came to being able to detect his soft underbelly. And like the bastard he was, he never hesitated to aim for a killing blow when he wanted to punish him, usually for the unforgivable sin of making him feel things that he wasn't comfortable feeling or feeling them more intensely that he could bear. Yet he had latterly begun to worry that the relationship between them might not be such a positive entity for DiNozzo over the years; that it might actually be detrimental to his wellbeing.

Sure he'd been able to cure Tony of his wanderlust and provided him with ties that made him reluctant to move on like he had before, but at what cost? Sometimes the only sensible thing to do, the only self preserving act was to run and not look back. It was a fundamental rule of warfare that there was a time to attack and there was also a time for a strategic retreat but what if he'd actually made it impossible for Tony to leave? What if he had effectively made him impotent and taken away his ability to watch his own six?

Like a wild animal that becomes disorientated by the headlights of a car and then freezes instead of the normal autonomic response of flight or fight and ends up splattered road kill; instead of his default response of flight, or fight, DiNozzo seemed to be frozen, unable to get out of the way of the headlights. Why else would Tony, who when he'd first met him, wouldn't let anyone treat him like a piece of crap, become someone who was willing to allow his teammates to walk all over him, to rip out his heart and stomp over it. Looking at the way he had been treated, in addition to all the traumatic events that had occurred over the course of his tenure since he'd joined NCIS; had to make for a extremely toxic work environment in anyone's book and as much as Gibbs didn't want to lose him, he had to wonder why Tony hadn't left him a long time ago. Why hadn't he accepted the promotion to Rota? Had he crushed the unquenchable 'Anthony DiNozzo' spirit so badly by demanding his unquestioning loyalty. that he'd effectively left him like turtle without a shell?

Whatever his sins, there was no denying that the team dynamic was at times downright noxious for his senior field agent and it was time it was cleansed, even if it meant that Gibbs had to do what he abhorred more than almost anything apart from dealing with scum sucking, bottom feeding lawyers. It was time to talk to his junior agents and point out all the things that they couldn't seem to see for themselves despite the 'lessons' he'd organised. As much as he despised yabber over deeds, for all the wounds he has inflicted upon DiNozzo and for everything that Tony had done for him, he owned him that much at least. He knew that McGee and Ziva were staring at him, wondering what the hell was going on. _Suck it up Marine and get to it._

"So I guess you're wondering why we're doing this here together. I've got some things that need to be said to ya both and I hate talkin so I'm only gonna say it once. Your appraisals this quarter aren't what I'd call satisfactory. Let's look at how your inability to observe the chain of command has compromised investigations and placed colleagues' lives at risk."

"It had been brought to my attention that both of you were continually insubordinate to your Team Leader back when I retired several years ago. Several supervisory senior agents where on the point of writing you up on charges of insubordination for your failure to follow DiNozzo's orders and the only thing that saved your undeserving asses, was that DiNozzo went in to bat for you and saved your butts. He kept the team together and from what I've been told, and also what I've observed after watching the security logs and studying your case reports, you too not only didn't pull your weight or give him anywhere near your best efforts, you made his job almost impossible with your insubordinate behaviour and your constant challenging of his right to be your superior. You tried to undermine his confidence at every turn by telling him he wasn't me when he gave you an order."

"Now while I also bear responsibility for not disciplining ya over the years for questioning his orders when I am around, let me make something abundantly clear to both of you. DiNozzo was your superior, long before he took over supervising the team and he is still your superior now, even though I am lead agent again. I want to emphasize that he is your superior because he is a superior agent to both of you, not because he has been on the team longer. You might think that you are both better agents than Tony but I assure you that it aint so. He has had years of field experience and skills that you should be trying to emulate instead of acting like you are better than him."

"Tim, you might think that you're God's gift to the agency due to your education but let me tell you that you've got a long road to come close to the skills that make Tony one of the best agents I've ever seen. And while you can kid yourself that you can do Tony's job as well or better than him, I need to point out a few home truths. First off, ya never should have been appointed to the position of acting senior field agent when I retired and I'm not entirely sure why Director Shepard allowed it. You didn't have anywhere near the requisite amount of field experience since you'd only been on the team for an about two years and were barely past your probationary period. Tony had over six years of field experience in law enforcement and had earned a coveted gold shield in record time before he joined the team and then another year here as a junior agent before he was appointed as senior field agent. When you were acting in the job, from what I've been able to determine, you didn't begin to fulfil the roles that are required of the position."

Gibbs paused to swig his coffee while he glared at the pair daring them to speak. "Much of the administrative work was not completed by you, DiNozzo carried out your paperwork as well as his own and by constantly challenging all of his orders and denigrating his attempts to lead you broke Rule 1. Hell, ya both screwed that one well into the ground and that is inexcusable! And McGee you also failed to perform one of the most critical roles of the Senior Field Agent, which is to assist the senior supervisory agent in the smooth running of the team and to have their six at all times. Your probie did a better job of that than either of you and considering she turned out to be traitor, that isn't exactly a ringing endorsement for either of you."

"Now like I said, I have to bear some of the responsibility for the fact that you've both been able to get away with not observing the chain of command for far too long. Way before I left for Mexico, in fact. That's my bad and I've apologised to DiNozzo for my part in it but both of you know better, so ya don't have any excuses. You, Tim grew up on Naval bases as a Navy brat and know damned well how it works and Ziva, you spent your compulsory two years serving in the Israeli Armed Forces and come from Mossad. You would have had your ass well and truly keelhauled if you had ignored the chain of command. You both deserved to get yur butts kicked and but for the grace of your then supervisor who took my Rule 1 so much to heart, ya should have been."

"I gotta say that I'm really disappointed in both of you, more than I can say. I kept hoping that all the accounts that I'd been gathering about you weren't true. I wanted to be absolutely sure which is why apart from Rule 38, I had DiNozzo lead the investigation into Renny Grant a couple of weeks ago. Gotta say McGee that your petty behaviour towards him as lead investigator, the insubordination and arrogance I witnessed, coupled with your inability to give one hundred and ten percent effort during the investigation, was pretty damning. Especially when you consider that you should be a more mature and experienced field agent than ya were almost two years ago."

Gibbs stood up and stretched before continuing. "And the way the pair of ya were happy for Tony to accept all of the blame for convicting an innocent man; gotta say that was a huge letdown for me. Pretty clear that neither of you gave your best during the initial investigation especially you McGee. The evidence was so skewed by computer data, and you're the computer expert so why didn't you pick up on it? How did you not see that it was faked, and why didn't either of you feel during the reopened case investigation, that you bore any responsibility for the wrongful conviction of Grant?"

"Also gotta tell you McGee, that apart from the whole issue that the damning evidence was computer based, as acting senior field agent, you also bear responsibility for the investigative processes of the team and ya should have manned up and accepted some blame too. You both were happy to let Tony take sole responsibility but you're happy enough to share the kudos for the almost perfect solve rate. Hypocritical what? It makes me realize how much I failed as a team leader."

"Speaking of solve rates '_Mr MIT and Johns Hopkins graduate and I'm gonna keep ramming it down everybody's throat_' you being such a genius an all, can probably do the math for us, since you understand statistics and correlation, I'm sure. When DiNozzo was a homicide detective, his solve rate was above ninety five percent despite working in one of the worst homicide cities in the US. When he and I were working as a two man team for almost a year, our solve rate was the highest in NCIS and many other federal agencies too. When we took on new team members there was no statistically significant rise in the solve rate, maybe a point zero one increase and when I left the team and headed to Mike Franks' beach shack for four months, the solve rate didn't decrease at all. What does that tell us, McStatistical Analysis?"

He glared at Timothy McGee and watched him licking his lips and turning an interesting shade of what DiNozzo had once described as 'probie green' that heralded a make-out session with the porcelain god in the near future.

"So let me bottom-line this for ya, before we move on, cuz I'm a bottom line kinda guy," he sneered. "DiNozzo is more than qualified to be an SFA or an SSA and has turned down his own team to have my six and yours. If you can't follow his orders and treat him with the respect he deserves, has more than earned, then I'm offering to transfer either or both of ya to another team."

"You are both promising agents with some really impressive skills that round out the team but there's always gonna be someone smarter or better than you and I don't have to say anymore than Dr Spenser Rolston IV or Cara Simmons, do I? Neither one of you are irreplaceable, and if you ever make me chose between ya, he's gonna be my first choice, my only choice every time because he puts the team before his own personal agenda. As the stats prove, he is a major contributor to the success of the best MCRT in NCIS and I'd been a fool to let him go. So let me know if you need me to authorize your transfers to other teams and its done today. Nobody's forcing you to work with DiNozzo and me."

He started down the two juniors before barking, "Are we clear?"

"Crystal Sir…um Boss," and "Yes Gibbs," replied the two truculent and chastened agents. Gibbs grinned inwardly; the pair reminded him of a pair of petulant teenagers.

Good, let's move onto the next point on your appraisals, then." Gibbs smirked slightly before resuming. "Let's talk personal agendas, ambitions and how it affects the team. McGee, you are so obsessed with trying to make a name for yourself and impress people that you ended up pushing yourself forward for an undercover mission while at the FBI, and you misrepresented your suitability for it. Then ya blew it big time, endangering not only yourself but Special Agent Sacks as well, not forgetting the other agents that had to go in and haul your ass outta trouble. It also necessitated DiNozzo having to go undercover in an extremely dangerous mission. You are never gonna be able to compete with DiNozzo when it comes to his skills undercover and there is probably only one other person that I know that could do so."

Gibbs pulled out a leather bound diary out of his jacket pocket and tossed it at Tim.

"Here's his personal journal he kept while undercover in the Macaluso Family in Philly. He's graciously agreed to let ya read it so you can learn how much of a price he pays every time he goes undercover. Hopefully you will finally get it through your thick skull that undercover work isn't romantic or something that most of us can do. It's dirty and dangerous and you're running on an adrenaline overdrive for most of the time and there's always a cost when you return. Oh and Tim, if I find out you've used any of that information as the basis for your Deep Crap books, I'll personally put my boot so far up your butt that you'll puke up your appendix without benefit of an anesthetic, if ya get my drift."

Gibbs walked over to the trash can and nudged it across the floor with his foot, towards McGee who looked like he was about to barf if the sickly green colour he was sporting was anything to go by.

And Ziva, your pigheaded refusal to accept that experienced professionals know more than you do when it comes to crime scene investigations and have better methods of dealing with situations, has called into question not just that FBI investigation into a serial killer, it could well effect every single case that you have been involved in since you became a liaison at NCIS. Every successful conviction is at risk from every bottom feeding lawyer in the USA. I don't know how many times Tony's told ya not to use your pick locks when we need to gain entry to a suspect's place. You even did it while he found a concealed key, just to one up him and you're putting yourself before the case." He shook his head in frustration.

"Gotta man up and accept some responsibility for fostering completion between ya to get the best outta you but I guess that backfired. Thought you'd be mature enough to put the case before your own agendas but I was wrong. And ya both wonder why neither of you were picked to go and investigate the death of Marine Captain John Rankin in Baghdad last year. Tim, you were pissed at Tony for tricking you into not volunteering but he did it cuz he knew I would never let you go to investigate when you weren't ready. And Ziva in spite of your crude attempt to intimidate Special Agent Jardine into not volunteering with mind games, you were also never going to be considered, not in any universe where I had any say about it."

"I recommended that neither of ya should go when my opinion was sought by the Director and SecNav. Did you really think we'd send an Israeli liaison officer from Mossad to represent NCIS in a country that has deeply in grained hatred against anything that even smacked of Israel or even apart from any of that, that you had the investigative experience to warrant it anyway? It was always gonna be DiNozzo or me that went to Baghdad, trust me." The supervisory special agent glanced at his watch knowing if he didn't get a shot of coffee soon, he was going to kill someone.

"Need to grab a coffee. Meet back here in fifteen and I want your appraisals of your team, their performance and your own ready for me when I get back.

HRHRHRH

Leroy Jethro Gibbs grunted in appreciation to the barista at his local coffee place, who without the need for words, quickly grabbed three outsized coffee containers, as he began to prepare some takeout coffee the way Gibbs demanded it. Strong enough he'd teased Gibbs, to strip back the shellacking on his grandmother's armoire and that wasn't an exaggeration. The young barista had put his theory to the test and earned himself a swat across the butt for his curiosity which had made Gibbs laugh uproariously when he'd heard about it. He was glad that the kid didn't need him to make polite chit-chat cuz he'd already filled his quota of yabber for several lifetimes today, and he still hadn't finished either, which was why he'd needed to take a break.

As he walked back to the office, one coffee container in each hand and one outsized caffeine fix already sloshing around in his gut; he decided that apart from having to talk to his thick numbskull team, he was suffering some serious DiNozzo withdrawals. Sure he'd only been gone for not quite a week what with the trial and Ducky urging Tony to take off for a few days, to decompress at the end of the trial, so he'd gone to stay with one of his frat brothers for a few days. Although he'd be back again, come Monday, Gibbs wondered if he'd be able to keep his hands off Ziva and McGee til then.

Lucky the team had the weekend off, he grinned, as he strode through the bull pen while everyone was careful to give him a wide berth. It was an immutable law at NCIS that when DiNozzo was away from the team, everyone tip-toed around the irascible head of the MCRT. It wasn't just Gibbs and his team that heaved a sigh when DiNozzo was back in the bullpen. Heck he'd heard them all laughing about the unspoken Team Gibbs' rule – _ya never wanna poke the bear, best to leave it to Tony._

When he returned to the conference room and the two sulky agents, they passed over their reports, as he parked his ass in the conference room chair. Pulling out his glasses, Gibbs skimmed both reports because he planned to read them in depth, later on. He quickly turned to the section on Tim and Ziva's self appraisals as team leads and settled down to read those sections thoroughly, frustrated that they hadn't identified the link between their own actions and behavioural traits and their teams. He exhaled deeply, repressing the not so sudden urge to knock their thick heads together to see if it might make them see sense.

Putting down McGee's self appraisal, he fixed his death stare on each of the pair in turn.

"Well McGee, Ziva; it seems that ya were able to identify the flaws in your probies, yet neither of you recognised the self-same traits in yourselves. Your team Tim was picked because they thought they were more than capable of doing their job without needed to learn from your greater experience. They displayed tendencies of arrogance and insubordination and I hoped you'd see how much damage that can do to a team, after being on the receiving end of two McGee clones." He chuckled inwardly at the Elf Lord's outraged expression.

Gibbs turned to the Israeli liaison, "and you David. We deliberately picked probies that reacted rashly when put under pressure and before ya protest, let me just say three words…Domino. Marine. Guards. Your probies all showed tendencies to ignore orders when in the field and have displayed the dangerous trend of going off on their own to try and save the day, instead of working as a team to achieve an objective. By the way, did you never wonder why you were training them in hostage retrieval Officer David?" he asked.

Ziva scowled at him.

He grinned. "I'll take that as a no, I guess. Well although as a Mossad officer you probably have quite a lot of experience in hostage situations, it doesn't mean that you're the best placed to lead a team or you know it all. You were pissed, when Tony was in charge during the hostage situation when Cody Myers had a bomb strapped to his chest and holding his classmates hostage. But your attempts to make DiNozzo question his ability to take the hard decisions, was inexcusable and down right negligent. And while you might have lots of experience with hostage situations in Israel ya don't have the law enforcement experience to make the right decisions here. You were prejudiced because of Israel's history with terrorism and couldn't view the scene from a context that didn't revolve around terrorists and child suicide bombers."

The leader of the MCRT fixed her with a steely glare. "If you'd had your way, Cody would have been taken out at the first opportunity, then the dirt-bags would more than likely have detonated the bomb. All the hostages could have easily been killed, including yours truly; just like in your training scenarios, David."

The Mossad officer was incandescent with anger, forgetting that she was supposed to be keeping a low profile and working her way back into Leroy Jethro Gibbs' good graces once more. She snarled, "So did poor little Agent Tony go running to his Papa to mouse me out? He's such a Clancy boy!"

McGee groaned, unconsciously ducking down in his chair although he managed to stop himself from covering his eyes. Ziva was nuts if she thought she could win this argument. Gibbs went ultra still and quiet; probably into sniper mode. McGee wished he would yell or chuck something and behave more …well Gibbsly but when he finally responded, his speech was clipped, low and dangerous.

"DiNozzo didn't rat ya out to anyone Ziva. There were other people in the room that day too and were outraged by the behaviour of Tony's teammate who should have been backing him up in a tough situation. I should have ripped you a new one way back then and the phrase is Nancy boy, NOT Clancy boy Officer David and if you ever took the time to really get to know DiNozzo you would know that is the very last thing he is. In spite of you and you gal pal Director Shepard telling him he didn't have the balls to take charge, he watched my six like he always does and saved every last kid in that classroom including Cody, who was just as much a victim too."

Gibbs drilled her with his sniper stare before shooting it across at McGee who was wincing as if it was a physical assault. "Go on; get outta my sight, the pair of ya."

He watched as they both stood up and scuttled out of the conference room. As they opened the door he called out, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh and by the way, while you and McGee and Abbs were teasing him about loopin the video feed because he had seen it on a movie, did you ever stop to ask your self why you didn't come up with the idea yourself David, since you admitted to the bull pen, that you'd seen the movie too?"

Next Chapter: Spurs, cowboy boots and a heart to heart talk.


	36. Chapter 36

Rating: T

Disclosure: For the thirty-sixth I avow that I do not own the cast of NCIS, unfortunately and don't make money from this story.

A/N Well let's get this out-of-the-way straight away. I said that this was going to be the final chapter but... honestly it rounded out at almost 10,000 words and that was without the epilogue which was another 1600 words give or take. So after consultation with my Beta BuckeyeGirl00000 (thanks for the practiced beta eye over the chapter btw) we decided to split it somewhat unevenly into one smaller and one larger chapter, for ease of reading. I will also be posting the epilogue as a separate chapter too. So now that I am beet red with embarrassment, I'll get back to thanking people who are still faving and alerting, not to mention all the reviews that were left for the last chapter.

Oh and Tony's views re Arizona LEOs are not meant in any way to impune the folks of that particular state :) Just his experience with a few people.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 36

Gibbs had called and given Tony the address for the crime scene and told him to bring the rest of the team. It was one of their own that had been slain cold-bloodedly and Gibbs was even curter that usual, demanding they get their butts down there asap. Tony knew that this case had already become a crusade for his boss but he understood and reciprocated the burning need to make sure that their fellow agent's killer was brought to justice. They looked after their own.

Tony knew that his irascible Team Leader's temper would not be improved with his team's tardiness but Tony and Ziva were still waiting on McGee, who was late again. Tony didn't know what was wrong with him recently but Tim was short tempered, distracted, his mind not focused on the job and Gibbs had been riding him really hard lately. He also didn't get what was going on between them but the tension was palpable every time they were in close proximity.

He sighed, as he waited for Probie, anticipating the reception that awaited them when they finally arrived at the crime scene. It wouldn't be pretty, he concluded wryly. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo winced as he pulled out his badge before he sombrely arranged the black band across the middle of it in the time honour tradition in law enforcement, signifying that one of their own had fallen in the line of duty. It was an action that Tony had had to carry out far too many times in his career but somehow he never became desensitised to the solemnity behind such a simple action. It was a sign of respect and mourning and his partner, Officer Ziva David watched on respectfully.

"Did you know Special Agent Jack Patterson well, Tony?"

He had answered that no, he hadn't been close to the special agent but still he mused, in such a small agency as NCIS, it was impossible not to run into fellow agents and he'd been with the agency for eight years now. And even when you didn't know a fallen agent, it still cut you to the quick because it was a reminder of how tenuous the hold on life and how easily it could be taken away from you. As Tony pondered the impermanence of existence, especially for someone in their line of work, the elevator pinged. He glanced up praying to the elevator gods that it contained their wayward McTardy and they could make their way down town to join Gibbs at the crime scene.

As he processed the scene, Tony glanced up to see Abby in all her Gothic glory attempting to storm the scene and the local Leo's trying to hold her back. Despite the tragic nature of the crime scene, he couldn't hold back a small smile, knowing that until they managed to catch their killer, there would be precious little for anyone to smile about. He thought about the Trans Atlantic phone call he'd received earlier while they were waiting for Probie to get his ass to the Navy Yard. Surely there was no other reason for Uncle Clive's solicitor to contact him except for something to do with his will. Oh he was under no illusions about him being a major benefactor of his uncle's estate or they would have contacted while he was in England attending Clive's funeral last month. It was more likely that he'd left him a keepsake, a family heirloom or a small bequest.

Tony wasn't a fool although he was a pragmatist. He knew that although his Uncle Clive had welcomed him that summer he'd spent in England, he was still the poor relation to the Paddington clan. His Italian grandparents' peasant heritage had tainted the precious blue blood of the Paddington's and that was not appreciated. There was no way he was going to be rewarded for that corruption to their prized gene pool so they would never leave him a significant inheritance; still he was thrilled that Clive might have actually acknowledged his existence by mentioning him in his will. It was more than he could expect from his own father and while his expectations weren't very high after a lifetime of disappointment when it came to any related to family, there was still existed that small little boy who hoped that his Uncle Clive had really cared for him a little and regarded him as a part of his family.

As he tried to contain his hopefulness, he thought about the team that had become a de facto family of sorts, although he recognised that his need for them to be a family wasn't reciprocated to the same degree by the team, as they all had some family of their own while he was truly alone. It also made him vulnerable enough that he took way more crap from the team than he deserved because he thought of them as family. Ziva though had shocked him speechless and that was quite a feat, when she'd announced in all seriousness that she'd thought he had been lying when he claimed that his Uncle had died and he had to attend his funeral in England,simply because he wanted some time off. Sure he lived his life behind a series of carefully crafted fronts that prevented people from getting too close, but how she could honestly believe that he would be so unprofessional to make up a family tragedy to get time off, and that hurt him more than he would admit. After all, he never took the full quota of his sick leave when he was injured on the job. He'd even returned a week early after almost dying from the plague a few years ago. He put in many extra hours, returning at night to deal with the paperwork that was part and parcel of seniority.

Then there was McChurlish this morning. He'd made them late to the crime scene and Gibbs was ready to blow a head gasket by the time they'd finally reached the crime scene. Knowing that Tim was acting hinky and Gibbs was ready to kill him, Tony had decided to commit suicide-by-Gunny and tell his Boss it was his fault the team was late getting to the scene and save McThankless' scrawny neck. It wasn't the first time he'd taken the heat for either of the juniors and he didn't think it would be the last either. After all, he put his body on the line countless times, willing to take bullets for his teammates and even taking their place when a car bomb had been detected and detonated, so it seemed entirely logical to him that when Gibbs was on a tear, he would also place his body between him and the rest of the team. Yet today when he'd taken the heat out of Gibbs by covering up for McGee, Mr MIT looked totally shocked and later on had asked him cynically why Tony had covered up for him.

Just as with Ziva, Tim's reaction had shaken him to the quick. Did they really not know him at all after working with him for so long? Sure he had his masks but Gibbs saw past them, maybe not to his core but enough to know that there was actually a fundamentally worthwhile individual within. Abby had had his measure almost as soon as he started working at NCIS and Ducky and Palmer had quickly come to see that he was much more than his many guises. So what did it say about his teammates, the people he'd come to regard as family that they weren't capable, or didn't care enough about him, to look past his masks and know that he was so much more than he seemed. How the hell had they earned a place on Gibbs team or was it simply that they disliked him so much that they simply never bothered to waste the energy on him?

While he was hurt and irritated in equal measure, he also knew that what was going to be more difficult was to deal with the case at hand which had to take priority, while dealing with the uncertainty and hope that he might finally have achieved some measure of acceptance from his mother's family. He was going to have to watch that he didn't show any of his vulnerabilities in front of Ziva and McGee, while he waited to hear what was going on with Clive's estate. There was no way he was going to let them know what was really going on so he resolved that if they thought he was so obnoxious and superficial, then that was what they were going to get. No one did insufferable and annoying like Anthony DiNozzo and at the least, it would be a distraction to the waiting and not knowing. It would also rile up Gibbs to new heights even if he saw past the act, and a riled up Gibbs would make Probie and the Ninja suffer and as far as Tony was concerned it would damn well serve them right.

HRHRHRHR

Tony was appalled when he learnt that he would have to go back to Arizona. He really was stunned when Gibbs announced that he was accompanying him to track down the artist Dina Risi. Normally, he loved field trips especially when it was just him and Gibbs and lately, they'd seemed to be getting on better. He still caught Gibbs looking at him with that damned pity face when he thought no one was watching and it make Tony feel like a weak impotent child again. Gibbs also growled and scowled any time he slipped and mentioned anything to do with Darryl Amos, his training sessions or the baby Dees he was mentoring, which was why he tried to avoid talking about the friendship that had been developing between him and the Metro cop but it made for a certain awkwardness between Gibbs and himself.

He'd taken to having dinner once a week with Darryl and discovered that he was lonely and grieving but unlike Gibbs, Darryl actually talked about his feeling. He told Tony a little about his son and he could empathise with the guy since his mother had battled depression for as long as Tony could remember. It was tragic that his son had never talked to his dad as he seemed to be pretty approachable and loving. As petty as it sounded to be jealous of a depressed suicidal kid, one that was dead to boot, Tony couldn't help wishing that he'd ended up with a father like Darryl. He wasn't naïve enough to think that Amos was a saint or the archetypal _Father Knows Best_ but he sure would have been a vast improvement on Senior, even if Tony had been a problem child.

In the end though, it wasn't the thought of having to deal with Gibbs one on one, even if their relationship was still striving to get back to a semblance of what they'd once shared. No, it was that Tony really, really didn't want to head back to Arizona. Once had been more than enough for him, thank-you very much, after he and his Philly partner had gone chasing down a suspect and failed to hit it off with their Arizona cop compadres. He'd found a few of the local LEOS he'd come across there had been straight up, ethnocentric jerks, openly disparaging about his heritage, so it was no wonder the place held plenty of unpleasant associations. Honestly, their idea of Italians had been the Mob and spaghetti and meatballs and the contempt was hard for him to tolerate although he guessed he should be used to it.

It was the type of bigotry that had caused Senior to abandon the correct Italian pronunciation of their family name. When the gravel voiced John Wayne wanna-be Sheriff Clay Boyd had made that offensive comment about him being Eye-talian, he had bristled but schooled himself to not respond to the insult the way he really wanted to. After all, he was used to being taunted about his heritage even if in truth he was a second generation American and he also held a dual English passport because of his mother being English.

He may be a proud American but it didn't make him less proud of where his grandparents had come from. He forced himself not to snark back at the guy that the European part of his bloodline was immersed in literature, language, music and cultural pursuits at least a millennia longer than that of some cowpoke sheriff. Tempting as it was to vent, they still had to work together, so he did what he did best and sucked it up, deflecting his anger and showing him where they thought Dina Risi was holed up.

When Tony realised that they were going to have to proceed on horseback he was dismayed, although he had honestly been prepared for that possibility and the horse trailer had pretty much sealed the deal. He'd made a dumb joke about calling up a helo because he knew it was expected of him and he was always happy to oblige. He'd already decided that if worst came to worst, and he was forced to ride with Sheriff Cowpoke and Gibbs, whose idea of cinematic brilliance was Alan Ladd in _Shane_, that they would crap themselves laughing if he revealed his childhood and hours of endless riding instruction, including European dressage, show jumping and later polo when he was a teenager, staying with Uncle Clive one year.

Both men had so much male machismo going on and were into the whole _dying with their boots' n' spurs on_ mentality, probably growing up in the saddle and riding before they could even walk. No doubt neither of them had ever had a riding lesson in their life, so he decided to save himself the mocking and make out he was a newbie or in their parlance a tenderfoot. _Actually that was a stupid misnomer if ever he heard one because it was much more accurate to call it a tenderbutt._

So rather than open himself up for a trip of ribbing and ridicule, he was going to keep his ability to ride strictly mum and play the part of a clueless idiot. One thing he wouldn't need to fake though would be a tender butt after this little jaunt. It had been years since he'd gone on a long ride like the one that they were about to undertake and he was fully expecting his butt and other muscles to go down fighting. At least it would add verisimilitude to the role of greenhorn that he was playing. When all was said and done, while he could easily hold his own when it came to handling a horse, in reality he was out of his comfort zone when it came to trail riding and camping out in the desert so that also helped in his efforts to appear totally, utterly clueless.

HRHRHRHR

Gibbs had impulsively decided to drag Tony off to Arizona to spend extra one on one time with him because he was concerned that if he inherited a fortune from his Uncle Clive, he might decide to leave NCIS. He was hoping that if they spent some time together, he might be able to convince DiNozzo to stay, because apart from any inheritance, the six month grace period he'd granted Gibbs to fix the team dynamic was rapidly approaching. And while he'd done his Marine best to fix things he had discovered the hard way, that it was much easier to break things than it was to try to fix them once they were broke. The junior brats had been incredibly slow when it came to learning that things were going to change in the way they worked as a team and he was getting fed up with them both. McGee was being particularly aggravating lately and he was in danger of throttling him.

Not that DiNozzo seemed to be all that thrilled with the prospect of heading to Arizona and Gibbs wasn't sure if it was because they would be alone together or because he hated Arizona. He really hoped he could change his mind about moving on because now that Ducky had finally forced him to pull his head out of his ass and acknowledge what everybody already knew, he had come to realise just how empty his life would be if DiNozzo decided to move on. He knew he was being selfish, that Tony was more than ready to lead a team of his own, had been for some time now but he couldn't imagine what it would be like if he didn't have his goofy senior field agent watching his six anymore.

Gibbs recalled the events that had unfolded and thanked the gods that Tony was such a thorough professional that when he'd directed him to call up the person whose card had been clutched in Special Agent Patterson's cold dead hand, DiNozzo had called the Homeland Security guy's office line and left a voicemail message. When, in his typically impatient fashion he'd directed him to call up the cell phone number scribbled on the back of the card, they'd been suckered into inviting the killer into their investigation as he'd used them to try to find Dina. When the real Bartholomew Lemming turned up at NCIS to find out why Tony had been calling him, they were luckily alerted just in the nick of time to avoid ending up as victims of the assassin for hire, although it had been a close thing. This led Gibbs to recall some details about DiNozzo's actions during their riding trip, which simply didn't add up.

Even though DiNozzo acted like a complete klutz and looked absolutely clueless when it came to saddling up his mount, he noticed that when push came to shove as the assassin came after them in the helo, Tony manage to sit his horse easily with a damn fine seat as they took off at breakneck pace without falling off, which was pretty unbelievable for a novice. His dismount was pretty damned elegant and rapid under the circumstances and seemed much too practised for a beginner and he sure didn't look like he was anywhere near as saddle sore as he'd made out.

He also thought about how the two of them had worked together to handle the threat. How Tony had been totally focused on protecting Dina Risi and then automatically covered Gibbs six like normal, without sign of the stiffness he been complaining about either now that he thought about it. He'd been the consummate professional using his sig to create a diversion so that Gibbs could chase after the sheriff's horse and get hold of his trusty rifle and take down the helo. Gibbs really couldn't imagine not having DiNozzo watching out for his six anymore, they'd worked together so seamlessly, just like in the early days. He hoped like Hell that his senior field agent didn't inherit a cent so he'd stay on his team and they could keep working together.

Returning to the puzzle of DiNozzo and his riding, Gibbs knew that something simply didn't add up and his gut was screaming at him that he was missing something. He resolved to ask Ducky when they got back about Tony's riding background. He figured if anyone would know something like that, it would be Duck. In the meantime, he leaned back in his seat and decided that he would sleep as their plane headed for home.

Next chapter: Secrets revealed and Ducky lends an ear.


	37. Chapter 37

Rating: T

Disclosure: Not mine, not making money.

A/N As usual kudos to BuckeyeGirl0000 for beta reading this chapter. Any remaining mistakes are my bad. Thanks to people who are still reviewing, alerting and faving the story. Your support is much appreciated. This is part two of the final chapter although there will be an epilogue posted as a separate chapter and also be something extra that I will post simultaneously with the epilogue.

Just a little trivia. I have to disagree with Gibbs who doesn't believe in coincidences. I put a word into Tony's mouth (shemmozle) that isn't all that common and when my beta read the chapter, she emailed to say that Tony used it in last Tuesday's season ten episode. The coincidence is that in Australia we are into are currently being treated to repeats of season 9 :( so I haven't seen the episode yet, So how hinky is that?

Last thing before I shut up. Lots of people have expressed opinions about whether Tony should stay or leave the team. I tend to be of the opinion that he should get out of dodge and not look back. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 lol but if he left on the show, I'd probably stop watching. Quite a conflict but with this story, I set myself the challenge to try and explain why Gibbs' behaviour toward Tony at the beginning of season six was in many people's opinion, quite standoffish when he returned from agent afloat on the Seahawk but by the back end of the season he was extremely supportive. Since Tony remained with the team, it didn't fit the brief I'd set my self, for Tony to leave in this story. For those of you who are disappointed, you might be interested to know that I have a story in the works, that is also set in season six where Tony will be forced to leave the team and the consequences will cause the team to fracture. It is a WIP and obviously AU but I am keen to get back into writing it. Hope you enjoy this.

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter 37

Ducky was in the process of making his usual afternoon cup of tea, hoping that his young friend might join him in a relaxing cuppa. He heard a ding of the elevator followed by a set of footsteps and Anthony's cheery greeting letting him know that he had entered his domain. After Ducky placed his cosy over his teapot so that it stayed hot while the tea infused, he stepped out, frowning, as he detected a familiar odour.

"I was hoping that you'd come down to see me when you returned from the wilds of Arizona, dear boy. Good to have you back again. As luck would have it, I have a nice pot of tea almost ready. Take a seat Anthony, while I pour us both a cup. Jimmy may be delayed in joining us today, but he is eager to catch up with you too."

The medical examiner busied himself with cups of tea and chocolate covered shortbreads. He handed Tony his teacup before sitting down and regarding his friend sympathetically.

"I was sorry to hear about your non inheritance, Anthony. I hear that you already had the Ferrari picked out. It must have stung quite badly to find out your Uncle had left you out of his will and that your cousin was chasing you for a pettifogging sum of money extended to you as a lad."

"Actually it was a bit of a ruse Ducky; it was easier to act like the money was a big deal. Sure I'd have bought a Ferrari but it would have been the model that Magnum drove in the show, just like if I ever bought an Ashton Martin it would be a 1964 DB5 model that Sean Connery drove in Goldfinger and Thunderball not some shiny new, but completely soulless model straight off the showroom floor. Thing is though Ducky, that I was never expecting to inherit any serious money from Clive cause Mother's side of the family always treated me as if I carried the plague, no pun intended."

"Oh sure I acted like the superficial, spoilt, materialistic jerk that everybody sees me as, when I found out Uncle Clive's solicitor was trying to contact me about the estate, but it was just an act to throw Probie and Ziva off the scent. Didn't want them seeing how desperate Little Anthony DiNozzo was, for Uncle Clive's acknowledgment that I was a part of the Paddington clan." Tony sighed sadly and nibbled on his biscuit.

"It was way less painful to pretend to be excited about a non-existent inheritance because I knew he wouldn't leave anything significant to me, than sharing the truth with everyone. To divert everyone from the fact that after my dad disinherited me and both sides of the family washed their hands of me, I felt utterly alone. After my mum's death, her side of the family essential abandoned me, apart from the one summer that I spent with Clive when I was seventeen."

"It was like I'd ceased to exist. I held out this tiny hope, Ducky that he hadn't forgotten about me and that those three months had meant even a fraction as much to him as it did to me. Having been sent away at twelve and granted that it was by my father, so it was no great loss, but it was also being cut off from the rest of the family that hurt so bad." He seemed to mentally shake himself out of the melancholy he was feeling.

"I guess I hoped that someone had actually remembered that I was family and while I'm not a successful capitalist, I'm not exactly an axe murderer either. Nor have I wasted my talents and always tried to make my mum proud, even if she was a raging drunk all the time. I'd have been happy with something small like some cufflinks to remember him by but of course, the great cosmic joke was that dear old Cousin Crispian wanted me to pay back money that Clive had given me years ago to help towards College. He'd insisted at the time, it was a gift but I was so damned proud and stubborn, determined after Senior cut me off that I'd make it on my own and vowed that I'd pay him back."

"'I tried to repay it a few times and he refused so I'm not sure why he kept the IOU. Anyway Crispian can bite my ass if he thinks I'm going to give him a red cent. Called one of my frat brothers who is my lawyer and he's going to fight it for me. He believes we can bluff him by threatening to contest Clive's will."

Ducky smiled and patted his friend's shoulder, happy that he wasn't going to take it lying down and pleased too that Anthony was willing to open up to him so much. He was clearly very disturbed and it was good he was talking about it.

"At least McGee and Ziva were so busy laughing about me counting my chickens before they hatched, they didn't pity me or wonder what it is about me that's so screwed up that none of my family wants any claim to me. McGee has always been so damned envious of my supposed background of wealth and privilege but he never has to worry that when his parents die, that they won't pass on all their worldly goods to him and his sister and acknowledge him as their son and heir. He never needs to worry that if he's killed in the line of duty, his family won't show up to claim his body. Not like me! Oh sure I know that you and Gibbs and Abby would never let me sit in a refrigerator drawer for months or end up in a Potters Field somewhere but it not the same thing, especially when there is family that is alive and kicking and just don't give a crap about me."

Tony paused, swallowing hard, overcome with emotion. He fought back the quiver in his voice before continuing. "And while we are discussing it, I should probably mention that if I should shuffle off this mortal coil in the immediate future, I've made arrangements for my funeral and have already set aside the funds to cover it. My lawyer has my will and legal and financial papers. I'll give you his name and number, seeing you're my medical proxy."

Ducky fervently hoped that his young friend wouldn't die before he did, but Anthony was well aware as a field agent that he had a dangerous job, especially after this last case. He knew that Anthony was just being pragmatic and didn't want to burden his friends with having to deal with the messy details of his death but Ducky's tender heart ached at the pain that Anthony stoically endured because of his pathetic family. He nodded and laid a gentle hand on Tony's shoulder.

"I must say that Gibbs was relieved that you didn't inherit an English fortune, my boy. He was worried you would leave us and I suspect that is why he dragged you off to the wilds of Arizona, so he could spend some time working with you, one on one as partners again, like in the old days."

Tony groaned hollowly. "Wel if that was the case, l apart from obviously not knowing me too well, I could have done without having to spent time on a trail with him and John Wayne wannabe aka Sheriff Cowpoke. Talk about torture. Does he really believe I am so shallow that I'd give up doing something worthwhile for wallowing in an aimless life of wealth, Ducky? He caught me completely by surprise when he asked me if I was planning on leaving; thought he'd have seen it was all just an act."

"If I wanted that, I could have gone crawling back to my Dad and pursued an MBA at Harvard like he wanted me to. I mean, sure I like really nice clothes and cars but everyone's gotta have a vice and mine is better than my parents' love affair with Bacchus." He seemed disconsolate at the thought that Gibbs hadn't seemed to expect more of him.

"But then again, designer clothes and obsessing over my appearance is about par for the course for someone with a narcissistic personality like me. I'm sure you'd agree Ducky?" He glanced sharply across at the dapper doctor, the pain and disappointment etched deeply across his handsome features.

Ducky had the grace to look thoroughly shamed before hastening to apologise. "My dear boy, you cannot imagine how much I regret such a reprehensible and flippant remark. I had no idea that you'd heard that stupid, cruel comment. And it wasn't even the truth which makes my comment even more of an abomination against you, Anthony."

"You do such an outstanding job of not wearing your heart on your sleeve that I too get suckered into the illusion you cast, not that it is any excuse. I know that you would give me your last dollar if I needed it or your life to protect a perfect stranger and have a strongly empathetic nature. While you may have a well developed hedonistic streak, I certainly appreciate sartorial elegance too. Fine tailoring and fabrics are qualities not lost on me either my boy."

Ducky mentally cursed the intemperate and hurtful remark he'd made to Gibbs some time ago. He wasn't proud of himself because it seemed that he wasn't immune to getting carried away and trying to one up his old friend and had ended up hurting Anthony.

"But to return to our previous discussion, I would observe that Gibbs has had a few wake-up calls in the last few months and come to see that he has been taking you for granted. He realised that you have had more than enough to deal with these last few years and that you are not without options, in terms of people clamouring for your services. The thought of a very large inheritance obviously clouded his judgement or maybe he was judging you based upon what most other people would do in that situation."

He smiled at the look of stubborn scepticism on the face of Gibbs' senior filed agent.

"Be that as it may, I'm not sure why you felt going to Arizona was such an arduous experience, my boy. You used to love spending time alone with Gibbs. What's changed?

"Nothing…everything…me…him…He's been acting real hinky lately Ducky. It's like he's Pod Gibbs. He's been supportive… he told me a few weeks ago during the Renny Grant shemozzle that he was proud of me."

The sight of Tony's aggrieved face was comical and Ducky couldn't help chuckling.

"What's so hinky about that, Anthony?" he enquired curiously.

"Well he called me Anthony, and I didn't have to stand on my head, do tricks or plead with him to toss me a crumb and then after he gave me the compliment, he didn't take it back or negate it by making a mean joke or making me lose face. He didn't make me feel good then kick my legs out from under me by delivering a vitriolic observation about my many character flaws after building me up like he usually does, if he pays me a rare compliment… so yeah I'd say HINKY about covers it! Then if that wasn't hinky enough, he barked at me to help me get out of a funk but he didn't Gibbs slap me.

"Again, why is any of that so hinky Anthony?"

"Well he never calls me Anthony. And it was like if my Dad was a normal guy, it's the sort of thing that I've longed to hear from him but never have and it's what I've always wanted Gibbs to say but he never did either… until now…Gibbs never compliments me or if he does, it's always accompanied by a barb, or a joke at my expense, so it doesn't count."

And he's always banging on about me losing focus and he doesn't get that I'm problem solving in my own hinky way and then he always Gibbs slaps me but this time he just acted like his usual bastard self and yelled instead. And it really helped me stop the funk I was in and get my head on straight because I was second guessing every decision I made. He also supported my decision not to chase Grant on the charges of interfering with Lieutenant Grady's body. So… big time hinky… but kinda nice- hinky especially when he told me he was proud of me for fixing my screw-up," Tony finished wistfully.

"I'm going to mark it down, as a red letter day, Ducky. Probably something that won't happen again in my lifetime, even if it occurred on one of the worst days of my professional career as an investigator at NCIS. Not as if I can forgive myself for that screw-up."

Ducky knew that Jethro was on tenterhooks about the six month deadline that Tony had granted him to try and repair the problems on the team before he decided unequivocally if he would stay with Gibbs or seek greener pastures. It was probably partly to blame for Jethro thinking that Anthony would ever abandon his law enforcement career in favour of living a life of the idly rich. But then again, Gibbs could be an idiot sometimes and he should know Anthony better than that. Anthony rarely took vacations because he hated not working so it was quite a faux pas to suggest that he'd place greed before service. Since his friend was in such an unusually talkative mood, he decided to risk bringing up the topic of the deadline.

"Anthony, I know that this is probably overstepping the boundaries here and tell me to mind my own business if you want, but I believe that the six months that you gave Jethro to try and fix up the chain of command issues is almost up. Have you made any decisions about your future yet, my friend? If you need to talk, need someone to listen, then I'm here for you."

"Thanks Ducky but I haven't definitely decided yet. I know that Gibbs has been working hard to fix up the issues with Ziva and McGee not following my orders, but I'm not sure that things will work out. They don't seem willing to learn or want to change. The thing is though Ducky, at the risk of sounding like our Gothic Goddess; I can't shake this feeling of impending doom. Something bad is going to happen and part of me wants to run away as fast as I can from whatever is going to go down but I also can't leave because then who would watch Gibbs' six if I wasn't there? How could I live with myself if something happened to him?" As he'd been talking about his place on the team, the tall field agent had leapt out of his chair and started pacing back and forth, furiously.

They both looked across at the entrance where a smiling Jimmy Palmer sauntered into the autopsy suite, with clipboard in hand.

"Just finished the weekly inventory in the truck Dr Mallard, so when you've got a minute or two, I need you to sign off on the supply requisitions. Hey Tony, heard you were back from Arizona. I see you survived your time in the saddle. You can sit okay?"

"Mr Palmer, Anthony is an accomplished rider. He was in the saddle almost before he could walk. He would have no difficultly in holding his own."

Jimmy looked embarrassed. "Sorry Tony. By Agent Gibbs description, it sounded like you'd never been on a horse before, apart from pony rides at your eighth birthday party."

Ducky scowled at Tony. "Why do you feel the need to hide your light under a bushel my boy? Where would be the harm in letting Gibbs and your colleagues know that you are an accomplished rider?"

Tony snorted. "Only the same thing that would be wrong with letting people know that my parents decided to have me tutored in fencing, archery, ballroom dancing, music and elocution lessons. I learnt early on that law enforcement types frown on that sort of thing and think you need toughening up. Anyway, Gibbs is a man's man just like Sheriff Cowpoke, more than that he's a Marine and they would have laughed me right off the mountain, if I'd admitted I rode."

"Dressage lessons and polo don't cut the mustard as far as they're concerned. You remember the disgusted look Gibbs' gave me when I suggested that the severed leg of that Marine PFC Dorn who'd had a busted ankle, might have been due to a polo injury. It was like I'd insulted Marine honour or something."

"So I don't get how you could fool someone that you can't ride, Tony when you can? Agent Gibbs isn't a fool," Jimmy wanted to know.

"Elementary, my young Palmer; if you play the fool long enough, that's all people see." Tony grinned evilly.

"I turned up in the most hideously outlandish pair of cowboy boots I'd bought for a fancy dress party and the John Wayne doppelgangers were convinced I was an idiot greenhorn. Even Gibbs, who should have known that I'd never be seen dead in such a outrageous pair of footwear considering my love of designer wear and expensive Italian shoes but he fell for it hook line and sinker, Jimmy. Then go to mount from the wrong side of the horse and look completely at a loss when hulking around the huge ostentation western saddle and the impression is cemented. Add in constantly complaining about my butt and viola, they see what they expect to see. Dumb Tony, who doesn't know what end of a horse to throw a bridle on."

Duck clucked disapprovingly. "And that, my boy, is why Anthony is so good undercover, although I can't see the sin, in admitting that you are an accomplished equestrian."

Tony sighed in exasperation. "Because Ducky, being an accomplished equestrian as you call it, means poncing around in breeches and top hat as far as guys like Gibbs and Sheriff Boyd are concerned, not that I ever did, mind you. I drew the line even as a kid, at jodhs and crash cap. Real guys, guys with balls, ride stock horses, mustangs and quarter horses and get around in dungarees, leather chaps and spurs; they sleep under the stars and drink vile coffee out of tin cups and disgusting tinned beans off dinged up metal dishes. Does any of that sound remotely like moi?'

He drew breath and continued. "They already think I'm an idiot so it's easy to act that way. And that way I avoid all the crap from people like McGee who think that being rich instantly confers happiness and then ask dumb questions wanting to know how I can live without it. So I just acted dense, mind you, it wasn't that difficult to act dumb when it came to that hulking great saddle. I'm used to a super light English or Italian hunting saddles. I guess the horses are used to those saddles Ducky but honestly, I felt like I was strapping an over-stuffed armchair on the poor beast's back."

"And stop the tsking Ducky; I get enough grief as it is for liking designer clothes and expensive hair cuts. Gibbs would laugh himself to death at the thought of me in riding kit. Just because my childhood was spent doing figures of eight and half passes and the like on a pony; I'm so not sharing all that stuff. I know you guys will keep my secret. Apart from Gibbs' having a huge laugh at my expense, the others would never let me hear the end of it."

Jimmy nodded, promising to keep this latest revelation to himself. Ducky shook his head sadly though.

"Of course I will respect your wishes Anthony, although I wish you wouldn't hide so much of yourself. It isn't healthy and you do it far too much. It ends up hurting you, not just because you are never able to be yourself, but it means that others underestimate you constantly, and I know that it hurts you a great deal."

"Yeah Duck, ya might be right but I learnt early on, that people resented me when I let them see who I really was. I ended up getting hazed a lot, especially as a cop and no one wanted to partner with me. It made for dangerous workplace… well a more dangerous work place. I was already batting with a handicap. People either thought I was some Mafia mole or if they knew about my father, thought I was a dilettante, playing cop. Luckily, no one knew about my mother's family and their blue blood or the seat in the House of Lords or I would have spent even more time on sick leave. This is the best compromise; trust me, better to be underestimated."

Wisely deciding to change the subject since he'd never had to walk a mile in the young agent's shoes, Ducky asked. "How is Darryl, have you heard from him lately?"

"Yeah, Ducky I've had dinner with him sometimes. We had to talk about the training seminars and he seems sort of lost in that big house, all alone. Apart from which cops talk the same language; I imagine it's like Gibbs hanging with Marines"

"So you've decided to continue with the training then?" Ducky asked looking approvingly at him.

Tony pointed at Jimmy, accusingly. "Blame him. Between Jimmy and Darryl, they were extremely conniving and just wouldn't take no for an answer; pushy as all get out. Jimmy's even offered to give me a hand with running them so it was kinda hard to say no. He keeps telling me looks good on my resume."

"Quite right my boy. It will be good for you and I'm sure that the Metro PD will benefit greatly from your expertise." The medical examiner beamed approvingly at his assistant and the senior field agent who had formed a tight friendship over the years.

"What about the mentoring, Tony? Did you agree to guide Darryl's fledgling detectives?"

Tony laughed self consciously. "Darryl is a hard guy to say no to, Ducky. But I don't have a lot of spare time so it's more of an informal arrangement. I conned them into joining me at the Y in coaching the local kids' basketball team one night a week. Afterwards we go get a bite to eat and chew the fat about stuff and email or text if they need to talk. They're coming along pretty good, I think. It just hard at times when your new, to confide in a colleague or superior who you are trying to impress but with me, I'm more like a buddy and they can let their guard down and tell me stuff they wouldn't tell a colleague."

Ducky seriously doubted that they weren't trying to impress DiNozzo since he had such an impressive reputation. For all his bravado, Anthony could be quite clueless about his abilities, although the dearth of positive reinforcement he'd received during his lifetime was probably largely to blame. He could see that the special agent was preparing to disengage from the conversation but he'd been meaning to ask him something for several weeks now.

"And have you heard anything from Marion Whitaker, my boy?" He immediately noticed the dejected look on Tony's face and sent Jimmy on an errand to drop off some tissue samples up to Abby's lab, knowing that his young assistant was not privy to the Marion 'St Francis' saga.

"Yeah Ducky, her sponsor Dana called to let me know, in case I heard about it through Metro PD grapevine. Seems that she managed to total her car last week and then she was charged with a DUI. She was doing fine until she encountered me again and I guess it stirred everything up. My father has a hell of a lot to answer for. I had a word to Darryl about trying to get the charge suspended if she agrees to attend a drunk driving program."

The medical examiner winced, knowing how much pain and guilt existed in the nurse who'd neglected to stand up for Anthony so many years before. Recognising that her years of volunteer work with neglected and abused children was Marion's way to seek atonement for past failures; Ducky hoped she would be able to fight off her current demons and continue to champion the cause of children who had no voice or power.

He shook his head sadly. "I'm so sorry to hear that my boy, although it is very kind of you to try and intercede on her behalf. I trust no one was hurt in the accident?"

"No Ducky, she's fine… well physically anyway. No one else was involved… she hit a tree. And I guess I feel a bit guilty about how I treated her that night at the hospital," Tony confessed.

"Nonsense, dear boy, I'm sure that it was more to do with finally seeing you again. The fact that you forgave her, must have in some ways been a relief and yet it may have created many other issues for her too. It isn't surprising that during such a highly stressful time, she would turn to alcohol to cope, or rather to avoid dealing with her feelings. It is after all such a common method of dealing with unpleasant feelings, as you know from your childhood."

He decided to change the subject as his young friend was looking far too pensive for his liking and he knew how that would end up. Anthony would manage to take on the sins of his father and Ducky wanted to nip that in the bud before it had a chance to take root again. Smiling playfully he nudged the field agent with his shoulder.

"So Anthony, what is the latest news on the status of Timothy's despised anonymous chapter that was submitted to his publisher? I'd go right to the source and ask him myself but he is unusually sensitive on the subject, I fear."

Tony's face broke into a wide grin although he felt guilty laughing at his partner's misfortune when he had just lost a shitload of money with a bad investment. At least now his behaviour over the last couple of weeks made sense.

"As far as I know Ducky, he's still battling with his publisher who wants him to include it in his latest book or at the very least, for McGemcity to rewrite it, keeping the basic plot line. Seems she thinks that the addition of some comic relief would attract a bigger readership base. Hah, if she only knew that the whole book is one big laugh! I can't stop laughing every time I read a love scene between Tommy and Lisa."

Tony became serious, all trace of humour absent. "McGee's got one hell of a fertile imagination. I might flirt with Ziva but then I flirt with Delores down in HR and I'm not looking to get into a relationship with her either. It's not because of rule 12 that I don't hook up with her. It's because it would be plain masochism and you both have my permission to head slap me into a coma if I ever lose my head and let her into my life like that. A relationship based on disdain, put downs and the need to dominate me isn't exactly qualities that I find attractive in a partner or conducive to a healthy relationship. I saw that with my parents." He looked at Ducky and Palmer gravely. "I'm serious, guys, promise me. I might get one too many concussions and forget, please?"

His two friends swore solemnly, that they would make sure he didn't do anything rash if he wasn't in his right mind and Tony looked mightily relieved. Ducky decided to lighten the atmosphere and returned to the topic of McGee's book.

"Indeed my boy, I have to agree with you about the love scenes. I find them quite mirthful myself although I'm afraid the ridiculous and childish arguments between Pimmy Jalmer and Goosie about constantly getting lost on their way to crime scenes, seems to be beyond ridiculous, don't you agree?" He grinned impishly, "I mean once or twice perhaps but to belabour the point constantly seems to push the credibility envelope, yes? Comedic touches should be like the subtle caresses of an experience lover not blatant groping of a libidinous teenager."

Tony choked trying not to laugh at his good friend who he thought was actually being serious, although he wasn't completely certain. Ducky deadpanned better than Gibbs at times.

"Umm… mmm …yeah Duck. Which reminds me, been meaning to ask you if you had any idea of the identity of the mystery writer of the unauthorised chapter? I mean, I have my suspicions but there isn't much that gets past you."

"Well when you get to be my age, my boy it isn't surprising. As it happens, I have come across certain information regarding the identity of the author but I must insist that you do not tell anyone what I'm about to reveal."

Tony nodded enthusiastically as Ducky leant forward and spoke sotto voice in Tony's ear.

He nodded vigorously before widening his eyes, looking into the older man's eyes. "Really Duck? Wow!" He started chuckling.

HRHRHRHR

After he had sent the young man he thought of as a surrogate nephew or grandson on his way, he frowned disapprovingly before calling out. "You can come out now Jethro, he's gone."

Gibbs emerged from the walk-in supply cupboard, looking somewhat embarrassed. "How long did you suspect I was there Duck?"

The medical examiner scowled.' Oh I don't know Jethro, since you walked in seconds before Anthony and ducked into my supply cupboard. Your personal aroma is quite distinctive. I suggest that you might shower and abstain from mainlining coffee if you expect to put one over me, as my sense of smell is quite refined. You do know what they say about eavesdroppers, Gibbs?"

He paused, about to deliver a scathing dressing down when he noticed the slump to the usual ramrod straight Marine posture and decided that Jethro had gotten a lot more than he bargained for, in listening in. He would have stopped Tony before he said anything incriminating but had decided that what they were discussing would do no harm for the team leader to hear. Well no harm in terms of Anthony's mental health at least. Gibbs on the other hand, looked quite shattered.

I was coming down here to talk to ya not spy but when DiNozzo turned up I couldn't help my self."

"You know Jethro, if you put in even a tenth of the effort you expend in creeping around in sniper mode, listening in to other people's personal conversations, and instead focused on getting in touch with your emotions and learning to express them, you mightn't find yourself in such a pickle with your personal relationships." He knew that he might as well talk to a brick wall as Jethro so Duck changed the subject smoothly. "So anyway, what did you wish to discuss with me anyway?"

"I wanted to ask you about DiNozzo's behaviour in Arizona. He acted like a complete tenderfoot around the horses yet when the fake Bart Lemming was shooting at us from the helo, he ended up handling a panicking horse without falling off, dismounted like a cat and laid down counter fire too damned quickly for someone who was supposed to be a stiff and sore tenderfoot, so I could race back and get Sheriff Boyd's shotgun. It just didn't add up. Most novices woulda fallen off or got their foot stuck in the stirrup getting off that quick, but he was totally in control the whole damned time."

"Well since you've already figured some of it out, even before you listened in to that private conversation, I suppose there is no real harm in you knowing. As you would have gathered, Anthony had a private riding instructor as a lad. His mother's family was very much into the English upper class pursuits and keeping up appearances. Anyway despite her inebriated state for most of the eight years that she spent loosely fulfilling the role of his mother, she insisted he be well versed in upper crust accomplishments."

"I rather suspect that she enjoyed playing with him, dressing him up like a little doll with his riding attire and the much hated sailors suits and ball room dance outfits. Meanwhile his father, who was considered to be one of the gauche nouveau riche, was always trying to gain acceptance from the so called Old Moneyed circles so he continued his son's fencing, riding and sailing lessons among other things, after his mother's death."

"During the summer that he spent in England with his mother's brother, he learnt to play polo, went cross country riding and three day eventing. He probably could have gone to the Olympics if things had been different or his uncle had manned up and taken him under his wing instead of tossing him a measly pittance and encouraging him to defy his father's wishes concerning his tertiary education. Tony has always claimed that his father would have needed to grease the palms of the Ivy Leagues to get him admitted, but I'm sure you already know that he could have gained entry quite easily. If Clive Paddington had given a tinker's cuss about his sister's lad, like any decent uncle would have, he could have lived in England and attended Oxford or Cambridge just as easily. He has dual citizenship."

"But I guess when Anthony only had his father to compare Paddington to, as a paternal figure; his uncle seemed like a real prince among men. The fact he actually acknowledged his existence, must have been incredibly intoxicating when he was a youth but I suspect that the family could not forget that Anthony's lineage wasn't Anglo Saxon enough for their tastes although if the DiNozzo's been European aristocrats, I suspect they would have welcomed him with open arms. Basically the Paddington's are the epitome of English snobbery." Ducky sniffed disgustedly.

"Be that as it may, his death hit Anthony hard and as you heard, not because of his vast wealth or dreams of inheritance either. It was his public acknowledgement and approval that the lad was seeking. His cousin Crispian according to my sources; is a sycophant and an utter waste of space in comparison to our boy."

Ducky scowled at him as if he, Gibbs was the despised Crispian, then resumed talking. "I was almost tempted to reveal to young Anthony that I have named him as my heir in my will, not that I have a vast fortune or anything but I have been financially prudent over the years. Although I felt that it wasn't quite the right time, today. Perhaps when the pain is a little dimmed, I'll invite him to dinner. His family might be the most imbecilic bunch of money hungry cretins on earth, but I would have been incredibly proud to have shared my DNA with Anthony. He may be a very mixed up young man but he has a great many, fine qualities and has grown into an honourable man in spite of his appalling family. On both sides!"

Gibbs decided that it was high time he amended his own will, too. After his last marriage, he'd decided to leave his meagre worldly means that still remained after three crippling divorces, to a Marine Veteran's charity if his father predeceased him but he figured that his senior special agent would appreciate having a real home even if it was a modest piece of real estate and the acknowledgment that it would bring. He should have seen through the hype about his uncle's inheritance and remembered that Tony wasn't motivated by money. He'd been so scared that Tony would leave NCIS and thought that the trip to Arizona, just the two of them again might remind him how well they worked together. Instead he'd forced him into hiding...again.

"He still doesn't trust me Ducky. I thought we were making progress and mending fences but he still won't let me get close to him."

"He doesn't trust people easily, Jethro; especially not anyone that evokes paternal feelings within him, for obvious reasons. Trust me, he desperately wants to believe in you, but its going take time and patience to overcome the years where to be blunt and use a vernacular that you'll understand, you screwed the pooch when it counted. I realise that patience isn't one of your strong suits although I've never been able to reconcile the enigmatic dichotomy between patient sniper Gunny Gibbs and impetuous and hot-headed Special Agent Gibbs. If you want Anthony's trust, then you're simply going to have to earn it the hard way. The only question you need to ask yourself, is Anthony worth the blood, sweat and tears?"

The glare that Gibbs directed his way didn't faze the ebullient old medical examiner in the slightest. Well versed in interpreting the repertoire of Gibbs' glares and glowers in the years they'd worked together, Ducky knew that the glare was for daring to suggest that Gibbs was ready to cry uncle when it came to winning Anthony's trust. He smiled; reassured that Anthony would have the support from his mentor should he need it if things turned sour, as he seemed to expect. Frankly, Anthony's premonition was disturbing because although he had held his own counsel, he'd had similar feelings of foreboding himself and he hoped that they were both wrong.

He glanced across at Gibbs, noting the lightening of his glare to one that could almost be classified as quizzical.

"What is it, Gibbs?"

"What did ya say to DiNozzo when he asked you 'bout who wrote McGee's bogus book chapter, Duck?"

Ducky's gentle blue eyes, danced with mischief. "What's the matter Gibbs, your hearing not what it used to be?"

"Naw Ducky, I just couldn't hear what you two were saying, since you were both whispering like a couple of conspirators." Gibbs quipped wryly.

"Ah well…true my boy, that we were but you can never be too careful. Never know who is creeping around trying to eavesdrop," he finished quaintly.

"Droll, Duck, very droll. C'mon put me out of my misery,"

"Well, if I can be assured of your discretion my friend, I will share that knowledge with you." He leaned forward after looking around to make sure that no one else was around to overhear what he was about to say. The author was none other than….."

Next Chapter: By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.


	38. Chapter 38

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Marion

A/N Well this is awkward! I had promised you all a sixteen hundred word epilogue but BuckeyeGirl00000 convinced me that I was short changing you all by not explaining what made Tony decide to stay on the team. Well there was a pretty good reason for me trying to avoid that issue... I have no idea why anyone would put up with the crap he does but I went back to the drawing board er the keyboard and finally found inspiration. Now while I'm happy with the way this story is ending and have now set it up for a sequel that I was contemplating, the downside is, that the epilogue is now standing at almost 10,000 words and needs to be split into two parts. I also need to give thanks to AlexDN for talking me out of committing hari-kari with the character Marion earlier in the story because she has now become a crucial part of this epilogue and also will appear in the short sequel that I have planned.

Once again, thank-you to everyone for your support and reviews. And to the guest reviewer who queried if learnt was actually a word, it is most definitely a word, mostly used by those of us that speak/write using British English. When we use the word learned, it has two syllables learn-ed and is used to describe someone of great knowledge eg a learned professor. While clearly, learnt is not commonly used in the US, it is still acceptable as I run it through the US spell checker in Word and it was accepted.

Finally, thanks to my Beta BuckeyeGirl00000 for all her help, suggestions and corrections on this chapter. Oh and I guess you're all wondering about our mystery author. Don't worrry all will be revealed... soon.

Halloween Remembrance

Epilogue part 1

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs stood in the middle of his basement staring into the cavernously empty space that used to house one of numerous hand-built boats that he had used to fill the hours that weren't occupied in his obsessive pursuit of dirt-bags or driving his colleagues to distraction. He'd come here as soon as they deplaned, straight off the military transport flight from Israel because he needed time to tamp down his emotions that were all over the place. He was furious that he'd never got the answer to all the questions he wanted, needed to ask her. He felt guilty for letting that cold hearted bastard manipulate her but he was also full of rage about her deceit and lies and flouting of the law, let alone his rules. Most particularly, flouting Rule 1 which she'd absolutely trashed and equally he felt unadulterated rage at how she'd tried to manipulated him into breaking Rule 1 himself and betray his partner.

He had to hand it to her, he'd never seen it coming. He felt furious recalling those last few minutes before he boarded the plane.

Flashback

_Leroy Jethro Gibbs stood on the tarmac of the Israeli Military Airbase as Mossad Officer Ziva David, who had given every indication that she was coming back to DC, decided to throw him a curved ball, just as they both preparing to board the flight back home. Director Vance and DiNozzo had both already embarked and were set to go. Tony in particular couldn't wait to see the back of Israel and Mossad, not that he could really blame him._

_Gibbs was just happy that he was heading home to DC with Tony relatively unscathed because he suspected if it had suited his purposes, Director Vance would have happily sacrificed his senior field agent's hide in the name of International diplomacy. Gibbs hadn't tackled Ziva yet with the unequivocal evidence proving that she had lied to them all and concealed Rivkin's crimes which had been committed on US soil. He'd planned on waiting til they were home in DC before confronting her. He wanted her out from under the influence of her father who was ruthless and clearly displeased with her divided loyalty. What did he expect though? _

_Then Ziva had called out to him, clearly stalling about getting on the military flight and having the gall to waffle on about speaking from her heart, he'd stiffened knowing how she'd lied to him, lied to them all. Then as she'd finally revealed her agenda, his blood pressure soared._

_"It's Tony, I am still not convinced that he been entirely truthful about Michael's… Rivkin's shooting._

_"He gave his word."_

_"I am not sure that we can work together. Perhaps it would be better if one of us gets transferred to another team._

_"Transferred?"_

_"I need to be able to trust the people that I work with. I know that __**you**__ more than anyone understands __**that**__."_

_He couldn't believe that she was giving him an ultimatum. He'd told her not long ago that if he had to choose between them, he'd pick Tony. Did she really think that because she was playing the grieving lover, he'd take pity on her? Yeah she probably did, because she was able to manipulate him pretty damned effectively. That oblique reference to him knowing the importance of trust, was clearly supposed to cement his loyalty and guilt over asking her to kill Ari and then remind him of their shared conspiracy to cover it up._

_Maybe it might have worked, after all she was extremely skilled in the art of manipulation but she had no idea that McGee and Abby had proof that she had lied and withheld information. If anyone should be feeling betrayed it was him… and DiNozzo of course, who because of her duplicity, had been injured and could so easily have been killed when he'd stupidly tried to cover her unworthy ass. Simply because he'd believed in her and in consequence he'd been forced to kill Rivkin to stop the Kidon assassin from killing him. And while it was far from his first kill, nor would it be his last in all probability, DiNozzo was no assassin and he would pay the price emotionally for killing his partner's lover as justified, as necessary as it had been. Did she really want to talk about trust?"_

_He stared at her steadily before leaning across and kissing her left cheek once._

_"Take care of yourself." Then he turned and strode away to the plane waiting on the tarmac, leaving her behind, stunned that he had not chosen her over Tony._

_Although he was absolutely shocked by Ziva's tactic and unprepared for her to pull such a stunt, he was definitely not surprised by the sentiments she expressed. She was unwilling to accept that Rivkin was the architect of his own death. According to DiNozzo's report, he knocked on her front door and called out, "Ziva it's Tony." Rivkin could have simply chosen not to open the door but he knowingly answered it, drunk and spoiling for a fight because DiNozzo had gotten in his face and told him him to leave the country. He was no doubt expecting to take DiNozzo, down easily due to the dossier that Ziva had prepared on him for Mossad and Ari. It wasn't the first time he'd been underestimated and it definitely wouldn't be the last time. She was also completely feral in her attitude towards DiNozzo since he killed Rivkin which spoke to her instability and her inability to accept that she and Michael were equally to blame for his death. When DiNozzo had been interrogated by her father who was hell bent on proving that Tony had killed him because of his so called jealousy, Gibbs had been struck by how exultant she was about watching DiNozzo being subjected to classic Mossad style interrogation techniques by Eli. _

_He'd been watching her the whole time her father had been grinding down on DiNozzo's left shoulder and putting stress on his broken arm, trying to make him slip up and admit that he'd killed the Mossad officer with premeditation. Ziva gave every indication of being aroused as Tony tried to contain the pain that he was obviously feeling. Her pupils were dilated, her mouth was slightly agape and her respiration had increased, leaving Gibbs repulsed and sickened that Tony's suffering could cause such a reaction. He was also appalled that she could be so disloyal to her partner who had been trying to look out for her welfare and saved her ass countless times. _

_He of all people understood that there was a fine line between love and hate and he'd observed how Ziva had tried to seduce DiNozzo over the years but he'd never taken the bait despite their banter. Gibbs wondered how much of her fury at him was because DiNozzo had bested the Kidon assassin who she had settled her thwarted desire upon, and how much was due to him refusing her advances. Was this a form of perverted retribution because she'd failed to seduce him, despite her extensive Mossad training? Was he the first guy to refuse her? _

_When DiNozzo had so easily trapped Eli David into admitting that Rivkin had been acting under his orders she had been furious and not, he decided, solely with her father but also at Tony for making the feared Mossad Director look like a foolish amateur and coming out victorious. _

HRHRHRHR

Tony was slumped at his desk in the silent bull pen, alone at last. He welcomed the solitude so that he could let go of the rigid control he'd maintained over his emotions ever since Gibbs had boarded their transport and given the signal that they were good to go. Most of the agents had left the office, including McGee who'd escorted a sobbing Abby home, while he'd sat, emotionally and physically exhausted by the past few days. Somehow he just couldn't seem to find the energy to drag his bruised and battered body home.

Gibbs had disappeared off the plane and they hadn't seen him for nearly three hours and when he did show up, he'd seemed distracted and withdrawn as he started to write up his case report and then proceeded to read the personnel files that Vance had dropped off earlier. Then he'd stormed off again disappearing after meeting the director, emerging from his office, steam practically erupting out of every orifice and an uncharacteristic expression of desolation and pain etched across his normally unreadable mask of stoicism. _Wow what the Hell was that about?_

DiNozzo was trying to ignore the pain in his shoulder from his "chat" with Eli, although more worryingly, his fractured arm throbbed with an intensity that demanded attention, just like an insecure and jealous lover. Tony kept telling himself that he'd just pulled a muscle when Ziva had taken his legs out from under him so violently and he'd hit the cement hard with no opportunity to protect his fractured arm on the way down. He'd continued to ignore the deep throbbing pain that hadn't let up, making it torture to sit still for eleven hours in the transporter sitting next to Leon Vance and under the scrutiny of Gibbs, who expression was absolutely glacial.

Tony kept repeating over and over that he was fine; it was just because Eli David had tried to break him by grabbing his bad arm so roughly and squeezing the nerve endings deliberately, trying to make him vulnerable. It was so much easier to foist the blame of the pain onto the arrogant prick than to accept that his partner, someone he'd come to view as a younger sister, someone he'd been dumb enough to trust, had hurt him with her lies and betrayal.

And he wasn't even half ways ready to deal with the devastation of her pulling a loaded gun and threatening to shoot him in the chest or leg. Frankly, he didn't know if there would ever be a time when he'd be able to deal with that truth. In an effort to distract himself from thinking about the tumultuous events of the last few days, he automatically checked his voicemail and email to see if there was anything requiring his immediate attention.

Opening up his email he found hundreds of messages from federal agents from every conceivable alphabet agency, offering him their support and appreciation for trying to arrest Rivkin so he could be held accountable for taking the life of the ICE agent. Some of them were from agents he knew and worked with but many of the agents who offered unconditional support were strangers to him and that backing filled him with gratitude. The agents from ICE were probably the most effusive that their colleague's killer had been held to account. Then there were the messages from various cops he'd worked with over the years in the three cities were he'd served and also a pile from Metro PD including his very own baby Dees.

Sitting in the silent office, he discovered that his voicemail box was full too. He put his phone on speaker to listen to the messages and leaned back in his chair, trying to ignore the protesting pain in his arm that stretching out caused him. Hitting play he closed his eyes to listen, smiling as he listened to the show of support from his friends…

_…Hey DiNutso, screw diplomacy! They give you a hard time there and you know ya'll have a place with mine. Think how much fun you'd have playing with Ron everyday. Cancel that probably not a selling point. Think how pissed he'd be though… (deep chuckle)…Seriously though, call me! Bastards don't deserve you…_

_…Hi Tony, how you doing? Heard you had a rough one! Hope you're good. You know that dog walker we met, the strawberry blonde with the Dalmatians… well she asked me to pass on her phone number to you… and well I took out the brunette that we met at the dog park, a few times…maybe we could double? Call me when you get this… _

_… Hey Son… heard you had a run in with a Kidon agent and lived to tell the tale. Imagine you must be hurting though. Why don't you come over soon and I throw some meat on the barbeque. The BDs are fretting 'bout you and want to make sure you're ok… so call really soon…_

_… Tony I heard what happened even though I wasn't on duty when you came in the other night. Hope you're okay. My lawyer says I have you to thank for avoiding a conviction. Don't know what I did to deserve your support but just wanted you to know I appreciated it and if there's anything I can ever do for you, let me know… talk soon…_

_… Hi Tone, tough break but I know it was a righteous shoot. Cass and I wondered if you wanted to get together for dinner and drinks over the weekend?... by the way… thanks for the English language CDs… I sent them over to Iran for her and I forgot to tell you that my brother seemed to liked that compilation of jazz you put together for him… thanks a lot… ring me asap, okay?…._

_…. DiNozzo… nice work… and about your car…um…sorry 'bout that…maybe I could buy you a pint of bitter some time?…_

_…Hey there twinkle toes, how'd you like to go for dinner and dancing one night this week?... Oh can you dance with a broken arm?... never mind… raincheck on the dancing but I'm still buying you dinner so call me and we'll organise a night… _

Tony suddenly jerked awake, his arm shrieking in agony following his incautious attempt to sit up in his chair. Serve him right for falling asleep. He'd slept through most of the message but the ones he caught filled him with thankfulness that people would offer their support to him. It meant a lot. He listened to the last message, recognising the voice with a start.

_…I always said you were one hell of a Baltimore brawler DiNozzo and had more lives than my cat. You ever get tired of Jethro's ugly mug, don't forget my standing invitation to come over to the dark side, Son… We could do with a good man like you… and I know you don't hold it against me for chaining you to a serial killer"…You know my number. Use it. _

Finally conceding defeat, he admitted that there was something seriously wrong with his injury, which could no longer be ignored or brushed off as a pulled muscle. He reached for his phone, pressing the extension for autopsy. Tony knew that Ducky had gone home a while ago.

"Jimmy, can ya spare five to have a look at my arm? I think I might have displaced the fracture."

"How? Umm…I fell… Why…Umm…not used to the heat I guess or low blood sugar… maybe jet lag."

"Thanks Jimmy, you're a prince. See ya soon."

Tony dragged his abused body agonisingly out of the chair. He ached all over and his psyche was mortally wounded as he made his way slowly over to the elevator and headed down to autopsy to see his stalwart friend. Jimmy could hopefully reset it and help soothe his tortured soul at the same time.

HRHRHRHR

"Aw Jimmy is this really necessary. Can't you do it? I really don't wanna go and wait in ER for hours. I need to go home and sleep."

Even as Tony whined, Jimmy Palmer observed that it seemed half-hearted as if he was just going through the motions. Something bad happened to him on the trip to Tel Aviv. He'd looked pretty sad and sorry for himself before he'd left but since his return, he seemed shattered and was putting up the most transparently flimsy of fronts. Jimmy wished that his mentor was here. He'd know how to help him, how to get him to open up and talk about what was eating him up.

Jimmy glared at Tony. "Look Tony we've been through this; you were right. You've displaced the radius and it needs re-setting. There's no telling how long its been displaced but at least before you got on the plane so that more than eighteen hours and you'll need drugs to relax your muscles before its reduced. Otherwise we could do more damage trying to reduce it and trust me Tony you really want someone experienced to get it back into alignment after so long. Ducky would have told you exactly the same thing but at least when they get to you, we have your x-ray here so that will save a heap of time waiting for that. We shouldn't be here for too long.

Tony groaned, "Talk to me Jimmy, tell me what's been going on while we've be off having fun at sunny Club Mossad."

Jimmy started to tell him all the gossip and saw that Tony began to relax a bit.

"Tony, what are you doing here so soon? Are you injured again?"

Tony and Jimmy looked up to see Nurse Marion Whitaker running a practised eye over Tony and by her expression, not liking what she saw.

"I got you're your message, Marion. Thanks and your welcome. Just don't blow it, hey? And to answer your questions, I'm here because my arm is giving me a bit of trouble and my friend Jimmy Palmer took an x-ray and made me come to hospital to see the quacks."

"Are you a radiologist Mr Palmer?"

Tony started laughing. "No Marion, he's Ducky's autopsy assistant aka The Autopsy Gremlin or Black Lung and my good friend."

Jimmy extended his hand and shook Marion's. "Nice to meet you, Marion. You were at the barbeque at Darryl's weren't you?"

"Yes that's right Mr Palmer."

"Please, call me Jimmy."

"So Jimmy, how did Tony here, managed to displace his fracture? Surely he wasn't allowed to going into the field?"

"No not exactly Marion. He's been in Israel over a case."

"Is that to do with the shooting the other night and the spy?" She noticed the look between the two men. "What? It was the talk of the hospital the other night and I don't think the excitement has died down yet.

"Yeah Marion, I had to go and fling myself on the mercy of Mossad for killing their officer." He saw the look of concern. " Hey don't worry, I'm kidding. I survived intact."

Jimmy also looked worried. "Tony, tell me that Ziva's father didn't rough you up? Is that how you reinjured that arm again?"

"Jimmy…Jimmy…Jimmy weren't you listening? I fell over in the heat. Ziva's father ground my shoulder and pinched the nerves a little, maybe tried to choke me when I pissed him off and tricked him into admitting that Michael was following his orders but he didn't touch my arm. It was just a cosy little chat between allies," Tony joked.

Jimmy looked unconvinced. "Then how come 007, you told me you fell because of low blood sugar?"

"No James, I said I didn't know why I fell, that it might have been the heat or low blood sugar or jet lag but they were all guesses. Stop being such a mother hen, you're getting as bad as Ducky and Gibbs."

Jimmy noticed Marion looking at Tony with an odd expression on her face.

She smiled at Tony, "Well, anyway Tony it pays to have friends in high places. I'm owed a favour or two by the ER nurse on triage duty tonight. Let's see if we can't get you bumped up the list. C'mon."

HRHRHRHR

After introducing him to the triage nurse, Betty and Tony having a field day with her name, she assured them that she'd make sure someone saw him soon and accepted the X-rays done by Palmer; Marion gently guided him to an empty cubical.

"Tony how did you re-injure your arm, really."

"I told you already, Marion. I. Fell."

Marion shook her head. Someone you care about did this to you Tony and you know how I know this? It's because you had exactly the same expression on your face and pain in your eyes when you said you fell down the stairs but we all knew that your father hurt you, Tony. I kept quiet before but not this time. I want to know, who did this to you?"

"Marion it's not what you think. It's my fault. I told her to go ahead and hit me. She was mad. I killed her boyfriend and she was hurting. She is my partner, she was my partner and it my fault she got left behind. If I'd only taken back-up to her apartment, he would never have gotten the drop on me. So it is my fault and she had a right to be angry. And I'm fine."

Marion shook her head, knowing that Tony might be a seasoned federal agent but when it came to his own well-being, his cognitive processes were still identical to hundreds of other battered and abused children or adults in abusive domestic relationships. He was still trapped within that small child, who'd been so badly injured by his father that it had undoubtedly arrested maturation of his sense of self-worth. That it was his own partner, who had perpetrated this latest abuse, was shocking to the nurse but it wasn't surprising. She knew that it was typical that an abused child would often as an adult; find themselves in relationships with abusive individuals. Tony's belief that he asked for it, that it was his fault and that it hadn't damaged him, was sadly so typical of victims of abuse.

"Did she hit you Tony, how did you displace the break?"

Somehow, Tony felt like he owed it to her not to lie seeing how much pain she'd faced the last timed he done that to her. Perhaps too because she wasn't a co-worker, he felt safe talking to her even though he felt like he was being terribly disloyal to his partner, despite her betrayal and lies. Didn't that make him as bad as she was?

"I fell down…when she…she kicked my legs out from under me… and she wanted to know why I killed him. Ziva… she… she drew her gun and held it against my thigh," Marilyn observed the horror in his eyes and felt shocked herself. "And before that …she…she… held it right up against my heart… I asked her if she wished Michael had killed me instead. She said perhaps she did… but she lied…her eyes told me the truth. She wished it was me that was dead...her body language told me what she was afraid to."

"Oh Tony, I'm so sorry but you have to stop covering up for her, she assaulted you, she threatened you with an armed weapon and more importantly, she hurt you physically and psychologically and that is not okay. I can't believe she did that to you. Wait a minute...you did said Ziva?" he nodded his head a fraction. "I met her at Darryl's. She seemed to be way too interested in your private business. She is Israeli, yes?" Again Tony nodded apathetically. "

"You have to tell Gibbs, Tony. You don't deserve to be hurt and threatened like that and it makes no difference if you told her to hit you. She is a professional and knows better than to point a loaded gun at anyone, let alone at her own partner. It could have gone off accidentally or she could have fired it impulsively. Didn't someone say she was a trained Mossad assassin and she struck me as being quick-tempered from the little I saw of her?"

She watched him closely seeing the defeated posture and the weariness and pain. Damned the woman, for hurting such a vulnerable and inherently decent man so badly. He'd endured more than enough in a lifetime already.

"Her behaviour was not okay whatever the provocation, any more than your father had any right to hurt you and if it had happened to anyone else you would see how wrong, how unforgivable her actions are. C'mon Tony, you were a cop as well as a fed, you know the stats on abused children being at high risk as adults of being in relationships and falling victim to abuse again. You need to talk to your friends about this. Tell Gibbs, he'd want to know; he cares a great deal about you. Like I said, I stayed silent when you were hurt before and it was the biggest regret of my life and I'm not going to make the same mistake this time."

Marion looked into his pain glazed eyes and said firmly, "promise you'll tell your boss or I will. Also promise me you'll get some counselling to help you get through all of this." She waited, hoping he'd agree to her demands.

Tony sighed deeply. The pain and exhaustion were wearing away his resolve to stay silent and anyway it would be better if Gibbs heard it from him than from Marion. The counselling, as much as it freaked him out, well maybe they could help him figure out how he managed to hurt every woman in his life or get them killed. If he could just figure that out, then he could make sure he didn't end up doing it to Abby too, he didn't think he could live with himself if anything were to happen to her. It would kill him for sure. He nodded sadly.

"I'll stop by his place after they reset my arm, Marion… and I'll try to do the counselling."

His head down, he looked so broken, she wanted to cry or even better, to strangle that stupid, stupid girl. Instead Marion reached over and hugged him, instantly noticing him tensing up and trying not to bolt out of the embrace. She laid a gentle hand over his good hand.

"I can give you the name of a couple of really good counsellors I know Tony. They volunteer their services with our kids…"

Jimmy knocked and stuck his head through the door. "Sorry to interrupt guys but they're calling your name, Tony."

Marion smiled at him. "Go. I'll call you with those names and I'd better get back to work too. Take good care of him Jimmy, he's one of the special ones!"

Next chapter: Fairy Godmother's and miscommunications.

A/N Those unidentified voice mails? Virtual Lindt Balls to readers who can correctly identify every one. Each voice mail contains clues within the message.


	39. Chapter 39

Rating: T

Disclosure : For the 39th time during this story I avow that the NCIS characters don't belong to me but the OCs are all mine.

A/N Well this time I promise, that this is the last chapter of this particular saga. There is a much shorter sequel in the planning stages but there are other things on my to do list that will take priority. I plan to kick back and write a few short pieces and then pick up my WIP which begins directly after Tony and Ziva's doomed attempt to steal Domino.

Thank you to everyone for supporting this story with your favouriting, following and most especially the reviews. Many have had me in stitches and to though of you who have faithfully reviewed every chapter or most of the,m I am eternally grateful. You kept me going and wanting to complete a rather mammoth undertaking. So many have kindly expressed the sentiment that they will be sad when the story ends. Dedicated to those readers, I will be posting two short extra offerings tomorrow that will reveal the identity of the anonymous McGregor chapter and the identities of the characters who left voice mail on Tony's phone in Part 1 of the Epilogue. Two people identified all the callers correctly :)

Finally, I have to give a honking big thank you to my beta BuckeyeGirl00000 for volunteering very early in the piece to help out with my punctuation, Canon checking, proofing, suggestions, catching the odd Aussie idiom or word and plenty of encouragement. By way of appreciation I owe her a followup to I'm Better Than That. Just not making any promises as to when BG :-)

I hope that you enjoy the final chapter. Its been a heap of fun... mostly.

Halloween Remembrance

Epilogue Part 2

He stood outside Gibbs house, with a pizza in his good hand and his newly reset arm protesting all the trauma of the last twenty four hours, including the manipulation that wrestled it back into place. He longed to go home to his bed but it was better to get this over and done with before he chickened out. The house appeared to be in darkness but Gibbs' car was still in the driveway, so he steeled himself and entered through the door that Gibbs never bothered to lock. Tony wondered if he'd locked it when they were in Israel but decided probably not. He wandered through the darkened house easily, because although he'd only been here once since coming back from his sojourn at sea, he spent far too many hours here over the years.

He could see the dim light coming from the basement and made his way down, preparing to have a painful and emotional talk that they would both hate. Gibbs was slumped in the middle of the floor, an empty bottle of bourbon beside him although as Tony descended the stairs, Gibbs picked it up and chugged at the empty bottle. He was clearly so damned drunk that he didn't even notice that the bottle was empty. Finally he realised as Tony stepped on the squeaky step, that he wasn't alone.

"Ziva?"

"No Gibbs, it's just me."

"Oh, DiNozzo, wanna drink?"

"Thanks Gibbs, but not tonight." _Not out of that bottle anyway._ "Brought you some dinner. Pizza, okay?" _And was going to have that chat but guess it can wait til tomorrow. _"C'mon Jethro, lets get some carbs and grease into ya and soak up that rotgut you drink. Haven't seen you this hammered in a long time. Eat and then I'll help you to get upstairs."

When Gibbs had fallen asleep in mid bite, Tony managed to rouse him enough to get him on his feet and took his arm and draped it over his right shoulder and started the agonising journey up the stairs to Gibbs' couch. When he had him safely seated, he fetched a pillow and blanket and got him situated comfortably on the couch. As Tony was preparing to get him a bowl for vomiting, a glass of water and ibuprofen for his inevitable hangover in the morning, Gibbs rolled over and groaned.

"Why'd ya hafta go'n'make me choose 'tween ya Ziva. Told you before I'd pick Tony."

Tony sank to the floor, shocked. He thought that Gibbs had chucked her off the team because she lied to him and withheld information about the death of the ICE agent. But clearly, he would have let her come back to DC if she hadn't forced him to choose between them. Gibbs didn't respond well to ultimatums as three former Mrs Gibbs discovered at their cost.

He knew Ziva was angry with him; his displaced radius was testament to that fact but that she wouldn't work with him again; that was a whole new level of hate and he was crushed. She obviously hated him with such intensity, she was prepared to walk away from their dysfunctional family and more importantly, Gibbs and it was his fault.

In trying to protect Ziva and not following protocol, he had ended up injured and Rivkin dead but even if he'd had backup, Rivkin was drunk and belligerent. He would have resisted arrest and could have still ended up dead but at least it would have been solely at his hands. It couldn't be construed as him being jealous of Michael because he was supposedly in love with Ziva.

Jealous! That was ironic because yes he was jealous. Oh not because he was in lust or love with Ziva, and viewed Rivkin as a rival for her affections. He was jealous because he was Ziva's partner, he thought he was her friend even if she didn't respect him. He thought that she knew that he would always have her six when she was in trouble, like he had her six when they were in the field. Like he trusted her to watch his, but it seemed that he was never going to be good enough for Ms Ziva David.

As she'd told him three years ago, every single day for four months, he… wasn't…Gibbs! And there was the rub… he was jealous of his boss. Jealous that she had called the former leader in Mexico when the FBI had tried to arrest her for murder. Oh sure she brushed off his wounded feelings with the excuse that she didn't want to endanger his career but as an accomplished liar himself, he knew a falsehood when he heard it. And let's face it, it might have been easier to swallow such a load of crap if she hadn't spent the entire time he'd been leading the team, telling him how inadequate he was.

He was jealous because Gibbs and Ziva were so close and he obviously trusted her deeply and had done so far more quickly than he had done with himself. Oh sure he knew all about her killing her brother but he'd saved Gibbs' six multiple times and the last time had been at great risk to his health and he'd saved his daughter's best friend's life into the bargain when Gibbs had pulled his usual crap of going off without backup. He'd certainly never received any crap for his failure to follow protocol and at least Tony hadn't put a civilian life at risk or endangered a fellow agent's life. How come he got his ass wiped and an all expenses paid vacation to Mossad and almost ended up as fertiliser except that he'd managed to best Eli David?

Oh yeah that's right, he wasn't the Great Almighty Leroy Jethro Gibbs and they never let him forget it, ever. Jealous because Gibbs decided to trust Ziva who was a complete stranger, rather than let Tony do his job and watch Gibbs' six when he set himself up as bait. It hurt that he wasn't good enough to help avenge Cate's death. After all it was her blood and grey matter that adorned his face that day on the roof. He had just as much anger about the bastard killing her as Gibbs but he couldn't afford the luxury of expressing his murderous rage because Jethro was like a tsunami, ravaging everything in his path. Someone had to stay in control and watch out for Probie and Gibbs.

So damn straight, he was jealous of Gibbs and Ziva, not that he thought that there was anything romantic between them and he wouldn't have given a shit if there was. Ziva might ooze sexuality, but he had no desire whatsoever to be with someone who had so many of the same qualities of his father. The contempt for him, the constant put downs, the inability to see his strengths, only his weaknesses, the need to be in control and on top, to entice him in, only to push him away when he took a tentative step forward, to exclude him when acceptance and inclusion was the currency by which he set his course in life. In fact, Ziva and Senior would probably make a great couple and she could become his next stepmom and they could both engage in their mutual pastime of the character annihilation of the real Anthony DiNozzo Junior.

Yes he was jealous, so jealous of Gibbs when Ziva had told Tony that she wouldn't tell him where Michael was, even if she knew but she would tell Gibbs. Hell, he'd already figured that out that she'd lie to him because she'd done it already. Ziva lied when she told him she was chasing down a lead when she'd really been playing footsie with her assassin lover and left him to cover for her with Gibbs, not to mention doing both their work. She'd lied to him when she said that Rivkin wasn't in the States when she'd been with him. How could he not be jealous that Ziva trusted Gibbs but not him even if it shamed him that he was so jealous of his boss?

But putting all of that aside because it was history and he couldn't change that, he had to wonder at his gut that had been warning of impending doom and hadn't he got that right. When it had come down to deciding to stay or go from the team, he'd stayed because he wanted to watch Gibbs' six as he knew something bad was going to happen. As usual though, he'd screwed up and it had ended up shattering Gibbs since he was currently paralytic beside him. He'd made Gibbs chose between them and it was clear that Gibbs was regretting his decision; he'd gotten smashed so he didn't have to face it. Like so many times before, anyone that Tony loved ended being destroyed or dead by coming in contact with him. He should have run as fast and far as he could when he felt the impending doom, after all it had always been his default setting before coming to NCIS and because of it, he'd never hurt his friends or been responsible for getting them killed.

He'd made the wrong decision by staying on the team and now because of that, he'd destroyed it. _Way to go Anthony I hope you're proud of yourself._ And as much as he longed to run so he wasn't confronted every single day with the devastation that he wrought with his foolish folly that he could watch Gibbs' six, even he wasn't that much of a coward. No he had to stay and try to see if they'd let him help put the team back together again. It would be a slap in the face if he left now and it wouldn't change anything. When Ziva forced Gibbs to choose, she had made it impossible for him to pick her and he would never back down now as much as he might want to because that would make him appear weak and indecisive. Two qualities he would never display to an underling.

So Tony needed to atone for his poor judgment, for the out and out screw ups. He owed it to Gibbs and McGee to stay the course and help put Humpty Dumpty back together again. He had to try and make the MCRT healthy and strong again and to pay Gibbs back for the sacrifice he'd made, in choosing him over the woman who had been the daughter of his heart. To run away from his mistake now, would mean that even in death Rivkin had been victorious and he wasn't willing to let him have that honour.

Tony thought about the promise that he'd made to Marion just a few hours earlier. He'd had every intention of keeping that promise and was even going to hang around tonight so he could keep an eye on Gibbs and talk to him first thing in the morning. Well perhaps not first thing because talking to a hung-over Gibbs sans caffeine was like poking a mortally wound grizzly and expecting to get out alive. He may be a screw-up but he wasn't suicidal that's for damned sure.

Now that he knew the truth about Ziva's removal from the team; Tony knew that there was no way he could subject Gibbs to any more pain. He saw how much Gibbs was already suffering and there was now way on earth that he could justify adding to the pain. Maybe at some point in the future, he might fulfill his promise to Marion but really it was kind of a moot point anyway. He was in DC and Ziva was back in Israel and it would serve no purpose, save to give Gibbs more anguish if Tony told him about what had happened between them in Tel Aviv.

He felt bad about breaking his promise to Marion but he told himself that he would tell him one day just not now. It wasn't fair on Gibbs to unload his shit on him when he'd placed him in such a terrible dilemma. One day, he vowed and meanwhile he would keep the second half of his promise to her. He would find a counsellor and faithfully attend weekly sessions even if it killed him.

That settled, he finally managed to drag his bruised butt off the hard wooden floor and fetch the glass of water, vomit bowl and painkillers for when Gibbs woke up tomorrow. He'd thought about staying over but in light of what the boss had let slip, he couldn't stay here, knowing what his actions had cost Gibbs and the team. Frankly, he figured that he was the last person that Gibbs would want to see, when he woke up in the morning with the force ten hang-over he was going to wake up to. Tony decided to call a cab, although he knew that Jimmy would come and get him.

As he pulled out his phone to call the local cab company he noticed he had a voice mail from McGee. Knowing he'd taken Abby home because she was too upset to drive after her universe had collapse so spectacularly with Ziva's removal from the team; he felt concerned. He'd better listen to the message since Tony knew better than most just how much of a handful Abby could be when she had to deal with change; after all the hand holding, marathon hugging sessions and comforting she required when Gibbs walked out on them.

_Hey Tony, it me, Probie… I um was thinking…about when I was accused of shooting that cop and how you believed in me and… umm … supported me when I'd lost faith in myself… so I was wondering if you wanted to hang tonight? Call me when you get this and in case I didn't say it at the time… thanks for being there for me… well that's it, I guess. Bye._

Well, there's a blast from the past. Haven't seen that Tim McGee for a long time. Since Tony had decided to use some rather creative ways of helping Tim to grow a backbone, he'd done such a bang up job of stiffening the Probie's spine, that Tim had leapt on the fast express to being able to withstand Gibbs with a double B for bastard and refused to get off at the destination of competent and confident field agent and crossed the border into the county of overweening hubris and arrogant field agent, that'd leave even Ron Slacks for dead.

There were times when Tony wished he left Tim for Gibbs to deal with, in his inimitable Marine Gunny boot camp method of training but he'd been afraid that the kid would end up breaking as he was too sensitive. Which was a real problem, when you were planning on spending your life, investigating the worst excesses and depravity that people could commit against their fellow humans. Tony had himself endured the physical hazing of military school and three cop departments and he wasn't a fan of it as a training tool or convinced that it was effective, but seeing his failure with McGee, he'd started to think maybe he'd been wrong.

Wrong to treat him like a kid brother to be teased and tormented instead of a worm to be ground under his heel, wrong to think that ribbing and practical jokes could build tenacity, strength and perseverance. Wrong to think that Tim as the son of an Admiral who'd grown up as a Naval brat, wouldn't have thrived under the physical and mental hazing that was typical in law enforcement especially the quasi militaristic agency they worked for. After all, Tony didn't exactly have a great deal of experience with what could be described as familial relationships, heck he didn't even have a lot of experience with so called normal relationships. Considering the results of his attempt to mold McGee into a mature agent, he decided he should probably stick to things that he was good at and let Gibbs do the training.

So listening to Tim's message and hearing the olive branch he was extending made him wonder if there was hope for him and the team. Gibbs had been trying his best to fix up the chain of command issues and make the juniors realise that they had plenty to learn, not just from him as team leader but from Tony too. Still it hadn't looked as if the message was getting through but tonight, it seemed that Tim was reaching out, stepping up and maybe there was hope for him. Maybe without the influence of Ziva to inflate his sense of entitlement and superiority, Gibbs and he might have a chance of molding Tim into a great agent. Maybe the three of them could forge a strong, healthy partnership and team together.

Since Tony had believed that Gibbs had left Ziva behind for disciplinary purposes and Tony had shared that view with McGee, maybe it was the wake up call he needed to pull his head out of his ass and get back into the game. He really hoped so because he missed the old McGee. He'd been particularly obnoxious since his little vacation down in cyber crimes and his snarking especially, was vicious and intended to draw maximum pain and blood possible.

He dialled Probie's number and McGee answered on the second ring.

"Hey Tony, you coming over?"

"Not sure Tim, how's the Goth girl doing?"

"Up and down. She insisted on going clubbing but I wanted to hang round in case you wanted to come over."

"So … you been drinking tonight, Probie?"

"Nah, thought I might need to go and collect Abby if she gets too drunk. Why, you need a lift?"

"Yeah, that'd be great Tim although I could easily call a cab if you're busy with your writing or gaming."

"Can't seem to concentrate and besides I keep expecting a call from Abby. Don't know why she wanted to go clubbing."

"Distraction probably and it's a healthier way of burning off stress as long as she doesn't get drunk and pick up some deadbeat."

They were both silent at the thought of the forensic scientist who although brilliant often seemed to be as clueless as a baby lamb in a den full of ravening wolves, when it came to her choice of boyfriends.

"So anyway, what bar are you at, Tony?"

Tony chuckled, "Chez Gibbs, Tim… not drunk…maybe a little stoned from the pain killers though… just can't drive a stick shift with my arm."

"Forgot about that, Tony. Leaving now." He hung up and Tony decided he was spending too much time with Gibbs and picked up his charming phone etiquette.

HRHRHRHR

Jethro Gibbs groaned as he struggled through the fog of the worst hangover he'd experienced since he'd headed down to Mexico for an extended vacation with Mike. The next time he was tempted to punish himself or get drunk enough not to feel, he hoped he remembered just how bad it felt, the morning after. It definitely wasn't worth the few hours of blissful numbness. Turning his head ever so slowly, he noted the bowl for vom… well he wasn't going to think about that right now and the water and ibuprofen placed thoughtfully on the coffee table. He reached over cautiously and grabbed the bottle and glass of water, swallowing down several tablets before sitting up slowly.

He wondered who had put him to bed last night because he knew that left to his own devices; he would have collapsed on his basement floor. He was guessing that it had probably been either Ducky or Abby although the Goth would more than likely have squeezed onto the couch with him. Coffee…he needed a gallon of it and stood up to go to the kitchen, trying to ignore the wave of nausea that overcame him.

Filling the coffee maker with water, he opened the fridge to find his coffee grounds and noticed the pizza box that hadn't been there yesterday. He flipped the lid of the pizza box and noticed it was pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese at the same time as his gut decided to expel some of the accumulated toxins from him poisoning his liver and brain with the overindulgence of his best friend Jack. Gibbs just made it to the sink, vomiting bile and meagre stomach contents including the water he'd drunk. Finally convinced that he was dying when he continued dry heaving for several minutes and vowing never to be so damned stupid ever again, he wondered why he'd gotten so utterly legless. He'd come back home instead of returning to NCIS and tried to get himself under control and Ducky had come to check on him, after hearing that Ziva hadn't returned with them.

DiNozzo had understandably, but incorrectly assumed that Gibbs had thrown David off his team. His old friend had dropped everything to come and check on him and plead the case of clemency for Ziva. Trouble was, that Gibbs couldn't explain to Ducky or anyone else how deep his sense of betrayal or why he was feeling the way he was but Ducky with his usual perceptiveness; had commented on how deep the trust and relationship had been between them. Gibbs acknowledged the truth of that observation but it had shaken him how transparent he'd been. That made him extremely uncomfortable; it wasn't a good thing for a leader to have favourites.

He always overcompensated with Tony by treating him twice as badly as anyone else, so no one could accuse him of playing favourites. Always had much higher expectations of him than anyone else but he knew that he'd never done that with Ziva. Maybe it was another reason why she was so felt free to treat Tony with so much insubordination.

When he told Ducky that Ziva was the one that had made the decision to stay in Israel by refusing to work with Tony, the kindly medical examiner had rushed to excuse her behaviour on the basis of her grief and her unfortunate upbringing. Gibbs couldn't explain about her killing her brother and their bond because even now he needed to protect her from her father learning what she'd had to do. In fact now she was back home, it was even more important than ever. Nor could he adequately articulate how deeply she'd hurt him by her betrayal and subsequent ultimatum.

He didn't even feel like sharing how deeply her feelings of anger towards Tony ran and given her training as an assassin, and how she had demonstrated at times how questionable her ability to control the violence that lurked within, his real concern that she might harm him if given the opportunity. He had no doubt though if he'd articulated her behaviour toward Tony, who Ducky viewed as a favourite grandson, he would be far less sympathetic. Unfortunately when Ducky had finally left him alone in what Ducky jokingly referred to as his 'man cave' he'd begun to second guess his actions. Should he have tried to get her back to DC and then dealt with the ultimatum. He could have granted her wish and transferred her to another team and she would have been out from under Eli David's influence.

Suddenly, he couldn't bear the silence of the basement anymore and he headed for the office, needing to keep busy and not have to think about it anymore. He had a report to write and Abby would hug and cosset him and while he'd never admit it, he could do with a bit of Abby's fussing right now. When he sat down at his desk with a sigh of relief he found that Leon had left him a pile of personnel files and a terse note.

**Candidates for the vacant spot on your team Gibbs. Look them over and let me know your choice ASAP****. Regards Director Vance**

Damn it, Leon was really gung-ho about filling Ziva's spot quickly and he wondered what the rush was? Perhaps since he and Eli were so thick and Daddy David wanted her back under the thumb, Vance was making it difficult for her to come back. Gibbs admitted that since Ducky's plea on her behalf, he'd thought that despite everything she'd done, if she changed her mind and showed contrition, he'd let her come back because he owed her for that night in the basement and he couldn't get away from that fact.

He dutifully leafed through the personnel file before turning to his report and noting that McGee and Tony had both left their reports on his desk and Tony was staring distractedly at one of his cold cases he had been desperate to crack for a few months now; the victim haunting him and not letting go. He looked dreadful, worse than the night that he'd shot and killed Rivkin and nearly lost his own life. Gibbs finished up his report, checked his agents' reports and gathered them together to submit to Leon, along with the personnel files and headed to see the Director's Office.

Vance had received his report, tacitly indicating he would read it later and waited when Gibbs dumped the personnel files on Leon's desk. Vance didn't see surprised when Gibbs indicated that he wanted to keep Ziva's spot open in case she came to her senses and crawled back, tail abjectly tucked between her legs. He was surprised that Vance was so opposed to that happening. They had a bruising encounter and he'd hit him with his grievances, especially breaking up his team without consultation or warning and Vance had counter attacked, finally telling Gibbs why he was foolish to feel like he owed the Israeli so much loyalty. Hearing the truth at last, Gibbs felt as if he'd been pushed over a cliff without a parachute and left to plunge into a never ending abyss of despair.

It was simply too much. Gibbs raced out of NCIS and leaped in his car to head home and he realised that was the missing piece of the puzzle as to how he'd ended up with the mother of all hangovers.

Flashback

_Gibbs was back in the basement for the second time that day, since arriving back from Tel Aviv earlier on. He was seeking refuge after taken several life threatening body blows to his psyche, delivered implacably by Leon Vance. He'd sorely needed to crawl away, to be alone to lick his wounds and the basement was the obvious place to do that. No doubt about it, the director had a mean right hook and he'd followed up with a vicious uppercut to his jaw, breaking his god-damned heart all over again. Ziva damn her, had lied right from the first time she'd met him and worse she had suckered the Great Leroy Jethro Gibbs, who is spite of his famous gut had been totally fooled. That was bad enough but to know that she had manipulated him into lying for her in an official report which could easily have cost him his career, in the mistaken belief that he was protecting her. Well that really burned._

_Rubbing salt into his wounds, to find out that the arrogant and smug Leon Vance had known about her duplicity all along and never told him he'd been played for a fool by someone on his team, someone he'd come to see as almost a daughter. It ripped out his entrails and ground them into the dust along with the heart that she'd ripped apart in her plan to win his sympathy and support. Who else knew about this besides Leon? Did Sec Nav, Jenn, other Agents and Higher Ups from the other alphabet agencies know too? Did Fornell know cuz he'd claimed to never trust the Mossad Liaison? Was everyone laughing behind his back? Oh God he couldn't believe he'd been so gullible._

_He reached for the bottle of Jack which a while ago had been two thirds full but was now heading towards empty and poured another shot. One thing he was thankful for, knowing what he now knew about Ziva David and what he'd seen of her desire for revenge; he was glad that he'd left her behind. When she'd chillingly informed him that the only two people who were authorised to order DiNozzo's disappearance were her father and herself, he'd felt as if someone had trampled all over his grave._

_With this new Intel, he was worried that Ziva was entirely capable of harming his surrogate son, yes okay Ducky, I admitted it. Tony was like a son to him and the intimacy inherent in the admission scared him deeply but perhaps not as much as the threat that Ziva posed. Although she had already done her best to break him with her lies and betrayal, knowing how much Tony cared for his de facto family of which she played a part, Gibbs understood only too well that he must be reeling from the emotional pain. At the very least, he could protect Tony from bodily harm though. He was in no doubt that given half a chance, Ziva would try to hurt him physically, even kill him should the opportunity presented itself. Thank heavens that she'd never got the chance to lay her hands on him while they were in Tel Aviv. _

Gibbs took a large gulp of strong black coffee and realised his fairy godmother last night had been DiNozzo. It meant that he'd stopped by to check up on him and probably wanted to talk about what had happened with Ziva. It was best if Tony thought he'd left her behind because of her disloyalty. He would only feel guilty if he thought that Gibbs had chosen him over Ziva; given how Tony always took the sins of everybody else upon his shoulders, anyway.

He needed to protect Tony who was looking very frail in the aftermath of the past few days. Maybe he could get Tony to open up and let out some of his pain and hurt. He'd invite him round for cowboy style steaks tonight and they'd talk about the future. Time to move on and help DiNozzo to do the same.

Exigo

Next chapter: Well none because that was the last one but stand by for a missing scene between Ducky and Gibbs where the cliffhanger left off in chapter 37 (sorry about that lol) and also the identities of the various people leaving voice mail are revealed too. Thanks for reading - SASundance


	40. Chapter 40

A/N Thanks to everyone for reviews and thoughts and opinions. I know that lot of people were disappointed that Gibbs didn't learn about the assault on Tony in Tel Aviv. Frankly, so was I but since trying to adhere to canon and knowing that Gibbs was going to let her back on the team when she pulls a Lazarus and returns from the dead, in Truth or Consequences and then Reunion, that was never a possibility. Like Ibinkeybella expressed in a recent review, if he knew about her attacking Tony, he would never had let her back on the team. It is so much easier when you go AU lol but it also wasn't the challenge I set myself. In the sequel, I have decided to have some fun and go AU wildly and in the Epilogue have set up a few things that will pay off in the next story. FYI it will be starting up in the latter part of Season 7.

I also wanted to share a very erudite guest review... well a part of it anyway, that reflects my dilemma in trying to explain the motivation of Gibbs over this whole Ziva leaves, Ziva is welcomed back without question scenario. IMHO the writers really need to stop season finale cliffhangers where team members leave and return again in the first episode of the next season. I agree that there were so many plot holes, for example how neat was it that Gibbs was his usual sneaky sniper self and just happened to witnessed Ziva's attack on Hadar and probably saved his life by making his presence known, yet was so conspicuously absent when Ziva attacked a valuable member of his team?

_"I always felt badly for Gibbs that he got 'took' by Ziva concerning the shooting of Ari to save him, yet another huge plot line that the writers just merrily skipped over and onto Gibbs 'adopting' Ziva anyways. If Tony had betrayed him like that he would have fired his butt in two seconds and washed his hands of him. Made absolutely no sense, and then he took her back into the fold yet again after her lying and duplicity concerning Rivkin. That entire plot line stunk to high heaven. Anyways, great character depth for Gibbs and what he must have been going through if we had been allowed to see it, and that Tony would certainly hesitate to tell him about Ziva's incredible assassination attempt on him in Israel. I was always surprised that Gibbs allowed Vance to offer up Tony to Eli, knowing full well anything could happen to him out of his sight, including an 'accident'..." Guest Reviewer_

Anyway, to finish up on a lighter note, I know from the howls of protest that I heard all the way in Oz :) that people were not amused with my cliffhanger. *Hangs head, ashamed to treat my favourite readers that way.* I do plead clemency though on the basis that I knew the epilogue was not going to be a 'happily ever after' conclusion and I really wanted to end this story with a little humor. I hope that this missing scene does that. Let me know what you think!

Halloween Remembrance

Missing Scene: Thom E. Gemcity's unauthorised chapter

"He still doesn't trust me Ducky. I thought we were making progress and mending fences but he still won't let me get close to him."

"He doesn't trust people easily, Jethro; especially not anyone that evokes paternal feelings within him, for obvious reasons. Trust me, he desperately wants to believe in you, but its going take time and patience to overcome the years where to be blunt and use a vernacular that you'll understand, you screwed the pooch when it counted. I realise that patience isn't one of your strong suits although I've never been able to reconcile the enigmatic dichotomy between patient sniper Gunny Gibbs and impetuous and hot-headed Special Agent Gibbs. If you want Anthony's trust, then you're simply going to have to earn it the hard way. The only question you need to ask yourself, is Anthony worth the blood, sweat and tears?"

The glare that Gibbs directed his way didn't faze the ebullient old medical examiner in the slightest. Well versed in interpreting

the repertoire of Gibbs' glares and glowers in the years they'd worked together, Ducky knew that the glare was for daring to suggest that Gibbs was ready to cry uncle when it came to winning Anthony's trust. He smiled; reassured that Anthony would have the support from his mentor should he need it if things turned sour, as he seemed to expect. Frankly, Anthony's premonition was disturbing because although he had held his own counsel, he'd had similar feelings of foreboding himself and he hoped that they were both wrong.

He glanced across at Gibbs, noting the lightening of his glare to one that could almost be classified as quizzical.

"What is it, Gibbs?"

"What did ya say to DiNozzo when he asked you about who wrote McGee's bogus chapter of his book, Duck."

Ducky, gentle blue eyes, danced with mischief. "What's the matter Gibbs, your hearing not what it used to be?"

"Naw Ducky, I just couldn't hear what you two were saying, since you were both whispering like a couple of conspirators." Gibbs quipped wryly.

"Ah well…true my boy, that we were but you can never be too careful. Never know whose creeping around trying to eavesdrop," he finished quaintly.

"Droll, Duck, very droll. C'mon put me out of my misery,"

"Well, if I can be assured of your discretion my friend, I will share that knowledge with you." He leaned forward after looking around to make sure that no one else was around to overhear what he was about to say. The author was none other than Tobias Fornell…"

"Crap, I knew it!" Gibbs exclaimed, obviously extremely happy to have correctly sussed out the mysterious author who had been giving McGee so much angst.

"…and yours truly," Ducky continued, his eyes twinkling with merriment.

"Damn it Duck, I didn't see that one comin. Had Tobias, Tony and Sacks pegged as the three prime suspects, but it never occurred to me that you'd had something to do with it. Whose idea was it?" he asked curiously.

"I'm afraid I have to confess that I came up with the wicked plot, Jethro and asked for Tobias' help with regard to giving me the dirt from Timothy's time on Fornells' team. After years of reading McGee's written reports and listening to his speech patterns, as a profiler I was interested to see if I could replicate his writing style. I cannot however, take credit for sending the fake chapter to Timothy's publisher and publicist. That was all down to Tobias, I'm afraid. I was simply hoping to give the young man some insight into how it felt to be portrayed without his permission and in a somewhat derogatory and disrespectful manner.

Hearing that his hedge fund has tanked, I admit I now feel just a little guilty although I fear that my dander was up with that stupid moniker that he bestowed upon me in his novel. You end up with L.J. Tibbs and I am the object of ridicule with the preposterous Goosie."

Gibbs couldn't help himself; he threw back his head and laughed his ass off, reminding himself to never do anything to get his good friend's 'dander up' anytime soon. Duck was a good friend but an implacable enemy.

Even though the elderly medical examiner joined in the laugh at his own expense, he still had the final word on the subject. "Glad it amuses you dear boy, but you try getting anyone in the Royal College of Forensic Pathologists to take you seriously with such a absurd name. You've no idea how much ribbing I've endured."


	41. Chapter 41

A/N There were two individuals who tied for the box of choccies lol. I'm in a generous mood so I'm awarding virtual Lindt Balls to both lol. And the winners are *drum roll* Guest and Scat210. Many others got most/some of them so well done everyone and Ibinkybella, hope you don't expect me to send you your Hershey bar because we don't have them in Oz :D For the rest of you, the identities are...

Halloween Remembrance

Missing identities from Tony's voicemail messages in Epilogue part 1 (chapter 38)

Sitting in the silent office, he discovered that his voicemail box was full too. He put his phone on speaker to listen to the messages and leaned back in his chair, trying to ignore the protesting pain in his arm that stretching out caused him. Hitting play he closed his eyes to listen, smiling as he listened to the show of support from his friends…

…_Hey DiNutso, screw diplomacy! They give you a hard time there and you know ya'll have a place with mine. Think how much fun you'd have playing with Ron everyday. Cancel that probably not a selling point. Think how pissed he'd be though… (deep chuckle)…Seriously though, call me! Bastards don't deserve you…_

Tobias Fornell FBI Special Agent.

…_Hi Tony, how you doing? Heard you had a rough one! Hope you're good. You know that dog walker we met, the strawberry blonde with the Dalmatians… well she asked me to pass on her phone number to you… and well I took out the brunette that we met at the dog park, a few times…maybe we could double? Call me when you get this… _

OC Daniel 'Jackie' Chan FBI Special Agent on Fornell''s team.

… _Hey Son… heard you had a run in with a Kidon agent and lived to tell the tale. Imagine you must be hurting though. Why don't you come over soon and I throw some meat on the barbeque. The BDs are fretting 'bout you and want to make sure you're ok… so call really soon…_

OC Assistant Chief of Police Darryl Amos, Metro PD.

… _Tony I heard what happened even though I wasn't on duty when you came in the other night. Hope you're okay. My lawyer says I have you to thank for avoiding a conviction. Don't know what I did to deserve your support but just wanted you to know I appreciated it and if there's anything I can ever do for you, let me know… talk soon…_

OC Marion Whitaker RN

… _Hi Tone, tough break but I know it was a righteous shoot. Cass and I wondered if you wanted to get together for dinner and drinks over the weekend?... by the way… thanks for the English language CDs… I sent them over to Iran for her and I forgot to tell you that my brother seemed to liked that compilation of jazz you put together for him… thanks a lot… ring me asap, okay?…._

Nicky Jardine NCIS Special Agent (In the Zone.)

…_. DiNozzo… nice work… and about your car…um…sorry 'bout that…maybe I could buy you a pint of bitter some time?…_

Trent Kort CIA handler for Rene Benoit (Season Five).

…_Hey there twinkle toes, how'd you like to go for dinner and dancing one night this week?... Oh can you dance with a broken arm?... never mind… raincheck on the dancing but I'm still buying you dinner so call me and we'll organise a night… _

OC Shauna Jameson FBI Special Agent Fornell's team.

Tony suddenly jerked awake, his arm shrieking in agony following his incautious attempt to sit up in his chair. Serve him right for falling asleep. He'd slept through most of the message but the ones he caught filled him with thankfulness that people would offer their support to him. It meant a lot. He listened to the last message, recognising the voice with a start.

…_I always said you were one hell of a Baltimore brawler DiNozzo and had more lives than my cat. You ever get tired of Jethro's ugly mug, don't forget my standing invitation to come over to the dark side, Son… We could do with a good man like you… and I know you don't hold it against me for chaining you to a serial killer"…You know my number. Use it. _

Tom Morrow Former Director of NCIS currently Assistant Director of Homeland Security. (Season 1& 2.)

Finally conceding defeat, he admitted that there was something seriously wrong with his injury, which could no longer be ignored or brushed off as a pulled muscle. He reached for his phone, pressing the extension for autopsy. Tony knew that Ducky had gone home a while ago.

"Jimmy, can ya spare five to have a look at my arm? I think I might have displaced the fracture."

"How? Umm…I fell… Why…Umm…not used to the heat I guess or low blood sugar… maybe jetlag."

"Thanks Jimmy, you're a prince. See ya soon."

Tony dragged his abused body agonisingly out of the chair. He ached all over and his psyche was mortally wounded as he made his way slowly over to the elevator and headed down to autopsy to see his stalwart friend. Jimmy could hopefully reset it and help soothe his tortured soul at the same time.

A/N Well that really is it for this story apart from marking it as complete. I think its safe to say that while its been a fun ride, it was also not without its challenges too. I had originally intended that the second half of this story would be written as a sequel but in the end it morphed into the form you see it in today. I had been musing for a while about a story idea that encompassed Ziva's attack on Tony in Aliyah and some events that occur in Season 7 (and no I 'm not going to reveal them yet) and as I was re-writing the Epilogue, it become obvious that I could work it into a sequel to HR. So until next time, thanks for all the support.

FYI I plan on uploading another scenario from my Agent Anthony Afloat series later today. *Hint* for those of you wishing that Tony would kick the team to the curb, this one's for you!


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